Hey! So this is cosmosgirl96. I changed my pen name so that my sister couldn't find me. (That would be embarrassing. I could never live it down!) Anyway, here is another songfic. Um, there are probably some plot holes and all that jazz so if you have any questions feel free to PM me. Also, I probably need a Beta reader so if you want, you can PM me or say in a review or something that you are available as a Beta. Thanks:).
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE 39 CLUES OR THE ONLY EXCEPTION BY PARAMORE AND I AM NOT MAKING ANY MONEY OFF OF THIS.
When I was younger I saw my daddy cry and curse at the wind
Broke his own heart and I watched as he tried to reassemble it
Father had always loved Mother. I always knew that. One day, Mother told Father that she never really loved him, that their marriage was just for show, just for the power. Father's heart broke in half. He would never be whole again. Tears fell down my cheeks silently as I watched him try to pick up the pieces. No matter how hard he tried though, he could never put the pieces back together.
And my momma swore that she would never let herself forget
And that was the day that I promised I'd never sing of love if it does not exist
Mother said she would never forget that day. The day she broke Father's heart. She wasn't in love with him but she couldn't bear to see him this way. Broken. The two of them were broken. They would never be whole again. As for me, I realized that love doesn't exist. Love is just an illusion, something you want to see. It doesn't mean it's there though. I thought what my parents had was love but I was wrong. Totally and utterly wrong.
Natalie was only 4 years old at the time. She didn't understand but as she grew up, all she ever knew was the cold. Our parents were barely at home. Natalie created the illusion that Mother and Father loved us. She was hopelessly wrong. Love is an illusion. It's not real. I told her that and she began to cry. She was only 8 years old when I told her the truth. She refused to believe me and still holds on to the little hope that Mother and Father love us.
But darling you are the only exception
And then I saw you Amy. When I first saw you at Grace's mansion, I fell hard for you. I felt something in my heart that I hadn't felt ever since Mother and Father had grown apart. I felt warmth. I think I might have developed an infatuation with you. The way your jade eyes sparkled and the way your red hair shone like a candle in the dark made my heart beat a little faster. I didn't realize I was in love with you because I believed that true love doesn't exist.
In the library, I saw you take out a book. Pride and Prejudice, a book about two lonely people. I saw a tear roll down your cheek. Maybe you were as lonely as I was. I quickly hid behind one of the shelves before you could see me. I still knew love didn't exist but then again maybe you are the only exception.
Maybe I know somewhere deep in my soul that love never lasts
And we've got to find other ways to make it alone
I've always known deep down that love never lasts. It always fades away. Love only exists in the movies. Unfortunately, I wasn't in a movie. I wanted to believe it wasn't true though. After the Hunt, I forgot about our loss, our failure. I let my friends set me up on blind dates, hoping I would meet my match. After countless attempts, I began to give up. I decided that I was right all along. Love doesn't exist and we all end up alone.
Keep a straight face
I've always lived like this
Keeping a comfortable distance
I became a doctor. One of those doctors who would tell you that someone you loved had passed away. I was always able to keep a straight face as the patient's family would weep and mourn. I was heartless. I felt nothing as the families told me I should have been able to do something. I always told them the same thing. "I'm sorry for your loss," I would say, although, I wasn't sorry at all. It was a job. A cold hard job. I may be a horrible person for saying this but in some ways I felt almost happy when I saw others in pain. It showed me that I'm not the only one. It made me feel good seeing others in the loneliness I was in.
I never went out with my friends. They would always invite me to go out for drinks and stuff but I always refused. I would keep a distance from them. Eventually, they stopped trying. I didn't want to get close to anyone. Even Natalie. The once tightly knit relationship we had was gone. She became a model. It was what she always wanted. She used to invite me to her shows but as usual, I refused. One day, she told me off. She told me that I was cold-blooded. She told me that I have a problem. She told me that if I wanted solitude, then I could have solitude. She never called me again.
And up until now I had sworn to myself that I'm content with loneliness
Because none of it was ever worth the risk
I was always happy with solitude. No one was ever there to annoy me or to tell me what to do. But then again, there was no one to laugh with or to love. Sometimes I thought about this but then realized if I ever got close to anyone, it would end in heartbreak. I would be trying to pick up the pieces and reassemble my heart. Just like my father. And it just wasn't worth the risk. Until I saw you again.
Well you are the only exception
We were both in New York City. I was walking along Fifth Avenue when you bumped into me. I was stunned to see you although my face didn't show it. My heart then felt something. A spark. I didn't know why though. After all, I usually didn't feel anything. You offered your hand shyly and helped me off the ground. After a moment of hesitation, I took it. You looked exactly how I remembered you except a little taller and a little older. You still had the fiery red hair and those piercing jade eyes. And you still had that adorable stutter. It wasn't until I asked you about your friends that I realized you might be just as lonely as I was. I decided to open the door to my heart just a creak. After all, misery loves company.
After only a few hours of just walking and talking with you I began to realize that maybe what my heart was feeling, was love. You made me feel something. I felt happy for the first time in years. I realized that having someone to laugh and smile with was fun. When the day came to an end, you gave me your phone number. So I gave you mine. As I began to walk away, I felt someone grab my hand. You spun me around and gave me a peck on the cheek. "Thanks for the wonderful day. That was the most fun I've had in years," you said and I smiled. I was beginning to believe that you were the only exception.
I've got a tight grip on reality but I can't let go of what's in front of me here
I know you're leaving in the morning when you wake up
Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream
I tried to keep you out of my mind. I didn't want to let you in. I wanted to let you go, to get rid of you. But I knew I couldn't. I needed to let you in. I couldn't let you go and I couldn't get rid of you. That's when I picked up the phone and asked you out for coffee. You agreed and we started spending all our free time together. We became such good friends that I began to wonder if it wasn't a dream. But everyday I would wake up and then hear a knock on the door. You would always be there waiting for me to go out for our morning coffee. And after a while, I knew this was enough proof to tell me that I wasn't dreaming.
You are the only exception
I'm on my way to believing
After a few weeks of spending time with each other, we began to date. I loved spending time with you and I know you loved spending time with me too. After months of dating you moved into my apartment that overlooks Central Park. A year later, I finally asked you to marry me, even though deep inside a voice was reminding me that love is just an illusion. After a moment of silence, I was worried you would say no. Break my heart into tiny pieces and throw them across the room. I was worried my philosophy was right. That true love doesn't exist. But then you smiled, wrapped your arms around me and said yes. You proved me wrong. Maybe true love does exist. Or maybe you're just the only exception. And I'm starting to believe in love. Thanks to you.
There are a few parts I don't get myself. For example, why would Ian talk to Amy but not his long time friends and sister? I don't know eitherXD. Oh well! It was quite enjoyable to write. So just a reminder, if you are willing to offer your Beta services, feel free to PM me or leave it in a review:). Okay. Thanks for reading:).
P.S. Is anyone else looking forward to Scott Pilgrim vs. The World? I know I am!