Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. I am making no money from this. Tite Kubo owns all, I'm just playing with them for a while. I also do not own any of the quotes I use at the start of each chapter. They were all found on the internet or in books, and if they have an author I say who it is.
Author's Notes: Remembrance and Scars are still being written, and the new RenRuk fic is in the works, but this story grabbed my muse and then blossomed out of control. I spent a weekend becoming re-addicted to FLOL, and my muse thereafter refused to write anything but IchiHime. So I was just going to write the sequel to I'll Stand By You. Then as I got into it I remembered how many people wanted more HitsuKarin. Then I got a string of reviews for For Her Smile that made me really want to write about Ran finding out about a certain something. And I'm still getting requests for a sequel to Behind His Mask. And RenRuk's main fic won't come, so I'm hoping writing some of them in this will help. And I felt bad for the people who wanted a ShuNan fic, cause I'm honestly not sure I'll ever get to that. So I'm breaking one of the two rules I set for myself when I started the After The Winter War series. Although this is technically an IchiHime fic, and will have more of them than anyone else, there will be parts that focus solely on other couples and characters. I'm sorry if you dislike any particular pairing. And although my other rule, that each story would stand on its own without you having read any of the others, is mostly followed, I will admit you'll get much more out of this if you've read the rest of the series. Timeline-wise this begins around the end of No Warm Memories, which is two years after the end of the War. (In fact, if you're read NWM much of this chapter will be familiar, but I had to set the scene for those who have not read it. And to balance it out this part is almost twice as long as my normal chapters.) If you are new to the series, especially if you really like IchiHime, HitsuKarin, RanGin, or ByaRan, I would recommend you read at least that couple's story before reading this one. And that might just be the longest intro I've ever written. Gomen nasai.
Until the Last Breath
By Lady Callista
Chapter 1 : Losses
OoOoOoOoOoO
"I will love you always. When this red hair is white, I will still love you. When the smooth softness of youth is replaced with the delicate softness of age, I will still want to touch your skin. When your face is full of the lines of every smile you have smiled, of every surprise I have seen flash through your eyes, when every tear you have cried has left its mark upon your face, I will treasure you all the more, because I was there to see it all. I will share your life with you, Meredith, and I will love you until the last breath leaves your body or mine."
-Frost in "A Lick of Frost" by Laurell K. Hamilton
OoOoOoOoOoO
They had been at the party for the two year-anniversary of the Winter War's end when the jigoku-cho interrupted the party. Its words still echoed in Ichigo's mind as he ran as fast as he could, cursing the fact that he couldn't use shunpo within the gate.
"Urgent notice to all members of the Gotei Juusantai, multiple Gillain and at least two Adjuchas have been reported in Karakura Town, Japan."
"We'll make it in time, Ichigo." Orihime said in his ear as the exit from the Reishihenkanki came into view. "Plus your dad is there, and Karin-chan. It'll be okay."
"I know, and since their gate is faster, the Shinigami should be there already." Ichigo replied as he ran at full speed, the fact that his girlfriend was on his back not slowing him down at all. Chad and Uryu ran behind him, almost keeping up, but Orihime was nowhere near fast enough to run with them. "Still, why now?"
"Maybe they knew we were all gone." Uryu offered as they cleared the gate, Urahara's magic having made it appear less than a block from the Kurosaki house, where it could be sensed the attack was centered.
Ichigo paused for an instant to take in the battle.
The Shinigami had, indeed, already arrived.
Ichigo watched as Renji and Rukia teamed up wordlessly to annihilate groups of Gillians, their long experience of working together showing. He expected to see Rangiku and Toshiro similarly working together, but instead saw Toshiro on the ground, the wings of his bankai almost completely enclosing both him and a small dark haired girl clutched in his arms. Ichigo couldn't see her face, but it could only be…
"El Directo." A huge blast of energy cut through three of the Gillians as Chad joined the fight.
A second later, with no word of warning, dozens of blue arrows made of light shot into the Gillians as Uryu manifested his bow.
Orihime hopped down from his back as they both heard Toshiro scream her name, and she ran into the fight without hesitation, knowing Ichigo would watch her back, and knowing, just like Ichigo did, who the dark-haired girl on the ground must be.
"Ban-Kai. Tensa Zangetsu." Ichigo bellowed as he charged into the battle, managing to bury his worries until he dealt with the immediate threat. "Getsuga Tensho."
Orihime ran through the fighting as fast as she could, her focus on nothing but the icy cave that she knew was made of Hitsugaya Toshiro's wings. She trusted her friends to protect her, and knew that she had to get to Toshiro, and the figure she had seen in his arms, as quickly as possible.
An opening appeared between the wings as she drew near, and Orihime launched herself into the space without hesitation, although she felt her body break out in goose-bumps at how cold is was inside.
"Soten Kisshun." Orihime cast her flowers out over Karin at once, terrified at the amount of blood pouring from the girl's stomach, and waited for the familiar feeling of healing. She frowned when it did not come, and Orihime started to cry as she realized that although the wound was closing, she couldn't sense Karin's reiatsu. "I…I don't understand."
"TOSHIRO!"
Orihime felt the young taicho's bankai evaporate as Ichigo shouted his name, and felt everyone gathering around them. Yet she kept all of her focus on Karin, not understanding why she couldn't heal her. Even if Karin was dead, Orihime had basically healed that before, although maybe it was different with humans, and then there was…
"Karin." Isshin whispered, his hand reaching out towards his daughter, although he knew better than to try and reach through the shield around her. "I didn't know there was a second one…"
Orihime tuned out his pain-filled voice, tuned out the wave of agony she felt from Ichigo, tuned out everything except Karin and the healing shield around her. The wound was fully closed, so why….
"There's nothing you can do. Without the soul, you can't bring the body back."
Orihime felt Rukia kneel to the side of and behind her. She felt her friend's hands on her shoulders. She heard her words. But she couldn't make herself believe it. There was no way that Karin could be dead. She was Ichigo's little sister, and Ichigo always had to protect everyone he loved, and if she couldn't bring his sister back, then…
"Once the chain of fate isn't attached to the body…" Rangiku whispered, kneeling between Orihime and Toshiro.
Her grief exploding, Orihime let her healing shield drop and collapsed into Rukia's arms, barely aware of anything else. All she could feel was her pain. And, of course, the pain of the man she loved.
She felt Ichigo behind her, the pain radiating from him like nothing she'd ever felt. And although she wanted to turn to him, to comfort him, her own grief paralyzed her. And the guilt was almost worse than the grief. She hadn't been able to save Karin. One of the most important people to the man she loved, and she hadn't been able to save her.
Toshiro let out a scream of pain and collapsed over Karin's body, hugging her to himself as he sobbed brokenly. Rangiku wrapped herself around her taicho's back, holding him as he cried.
Still sobbing, Orihime reached out and caught Toshiro's hand in her own, understanding exactly what he was feeling. The fact that Rangiku seemed to understand as well was irrelevant at the moment, as was the fact that no one else questioned the boy taicho hugging and crying over the body of the girl that none of them knew he'd been dating for two years.
Orihime heard Uryu ask something, but the exact words were lost over her sobbing.
Although tears flowed freely down his face, Ichigo was also aware of his girlfriend's pain, and had just started to move towards her when he heard his father gasp. He spun to face his father, and followed Isshin's line of sight towards his house.
He saw his sisters. Yuzu looked very confused, and was holding one of her hands awkwardly. Attached to that hand was a chain. A chain that protruded straight from a ghostly Karin's chest.
Ichigo was beside her in an instant, wrapping both his sisters in his strong arms. "I told you that you shouldn't be fighting." He whispered in Karin's ear, not caring that his voice gave evidence of his tears.
"They were going after Yuzu." Karin whispered back, unsurprised when her father's arms suddenly joined her brother's around her. "I knew none of you were here… I had to…"
Karin drew back suddenly, and Ichigo watched in confusion as his sister pulled away and moved over to where her body lay. He then grew even more confused when Karin put a hand on Rangiku's shoulder, and a moment later wrapped herself around Toshiro's back, whispering words he could not hear.
Toshiro released her body and spun to take Karin into his arms, his tears actually growing stronger. He was saying something, but Ichigo couldn't hear him either, nor could he understand why the two of them were clinging to each other. They hadn't seen each other in over a year, yet they were acting like a couple.
Yet whatever Toshiro was saying apparently struck a chord with Karin, for without warning his sister suddenly began sobbing as well, clinging to Toshiro as if her heart had just been broken.
"We need to get inside." Uryu said after a moment, a moment that had been silent other than the sounds of two people crying. "If anyone sees…"
Ichigo closed his eyes for a moment as he tried to gather his thoughts. "Uryu, Chad, could the two of you do a patrol around the city? If you were right, and the Hollows attacked tonight because they knew we were all gone…"
"Of course, Ichigo." Chad replied at once, trading a brief look with the Quincy before the two of them ran off.
Rukia had already pulled Orihime to her feet and was starting to lead her into the house, a confused Renji following in their wake.
Ichigo moved towards Yuzu, intending to take her inside as well, when he realized that the fate chain that connected his sisters would not allow Yuzu to go into the house unless Karin went as well. He had just moved towards his sister's spirit when he heard a scream and footsteps from across the street.
"Neighbor." Isshin hissed to his son. "Only you and Yuzu can be seen. Get Yuzu inside, I'll be back out in my body in a second. I can say I didn't want Yuzu to see this. I'll think of something to explain the death."
"Rangiku, get them inside now!" Ichigo ordered quietly as he scooped Yuzu up in his arms and started towards the house.
Toshiro and Karin still seemed to notice nothing but each other, and Rangiku had nearly picked them both up when they finally became aware of what was going on and allowed themselves to be ushered into the house.
Urahara was already there when Ichigo walked in, and he settled on the couch with Yuzu still in his arms as he listened to the shopkeeper talking to Orihime and Rukia.
"She has to be allowed to move on, or she'll eventually become a Hollow." Urahara Kisuke said as he faced off with Orihime.
"There has to be some way." Orihime replied.
"It's not possible." Urahara replied. "Konso is how a soul enters Soul Society, and once there it loses all memories of it's previous life."
"Why can't you just stay here?" Yuzu cried from her place on Ichigo's lap. Although she wasn't a fighter like Karin was, she'd learned quite a bit about the spiritual world over the past two years.
No one paid the least bit of attention to the sirens outside that announced the arrival of the police and EMTS.
Ichigo wrapped his arms more securely around his sister, sharing a look with Orihime as she came over and sat beside them, one hand resting on Ichigo's knee while the other stroked over Yuzu's hair comfortingly.
Karin lifted her head from where she was cuddled into Toshiro's chest enough to look at her sister. "I don't belong here anymore, sis." Karin said, briefly using one of her hands to lift the chain that connected the sisters. "Besides, do you really want me following you around forever?"
Yuzu cracked a smile as outside their father let out a particularly exaggerated wail. "You just don't wanna put up with dad anymore."
"There is that." Karin smiled back slightly, then turned to Urahara. "But there has to be some way for me to keep my memory."
"Well," Urahara glanced at her fate chain. "The way I first trained Ichigo to become a Shini…"
"Absolutely not!" Ichigo asserted.
"Ichi-nii, what…" Karin turned to face him.
"No, Urahara." Ichigo glared at the man. "It's too big a risk. Just let her go to Soul Society. And then we'll find her and find a way to restore her memories."
"But Rukongai is huge." Rangiku interjected, although she knew her taicho well enough to add, "Not that I have any doubt we'd look until we found her, but her memories…"
"No one has ever been able to restore a soul's memories." Rukia said quietly.
"What if I just take her through the Senkaimon with me?" Toshiro spoke for the first time since they'd entered the room, glancing at Urahara. He sat on the couch with Karin curled against his chest, his arms tightly around her. For once he didn't care what people thought. He just never wanted to let her go.
"I can't answer that." Urahara shrugged. "To my knowledge it's never been tried."
"What's the worst that could happen?" Rukia wanted to know.
"Well, that would depend." Urahara thought out loud. "If a Jigokucho comes for her, she'd be fine. But if not, you'd have to make sure she wasn't separated from you, or her soul could be lost forever."
"We won't get separated." Toshiro replied in a tone that broached no debate.
"In that case, she'll make it to the other side. But I have no idea what will happen once she's there. She may lose her memories, or not. There is no way to know."
The room fell silent for a moment, broken by Karin hesitantly asking, "What about Kyokon?"
Urahara shrugged again. "Another question I can't answer." He glanced over at Orihime. "We've been looking into it, but there's really no frame of reference. There are just no records of humans manifesting powers to the degree Sado-san and the two of you ladies have. We have no idea what will happen to any of you when you die and enter Soul Society."
"The best guess is that you'll keep your powers." Rangiku interjected. "But they may change somewhat, to become more like zanpakutos. All of you have strong enough reiatsu to become Shinigami, and we think that once you start training for that your powers will change to reflect what you are."
Everyone looked at her in amazement.
"What?" Rangiku blushed slightly. "I just figured we'd need to know someday, and Ukitake-taicho was very helpful."
"You've known all along, haven't you?" Toshiro questioned with a raise of his eyebrow.
Rangiku nodded. "Did you really think you were just that lucky that no one noticed all the times you left Seireitei?"
"All the times?" Ichigo glared at Toshiro and Karin. "But it's been almost a year since I saw you two together." Although he'd never objected to them becoming friends, the thought of the hopelessness of them being anything more had made him glad when they'd stopped seeing each other.
"And of course you're with me every minute of the day." Karin said drolly.
"But…but…" Ichigo gaped, unable to believe that she'd been sneaky enough over the past year that he had had no idea what had been going on. Granted, he'd been wrapped up in Orihime. But he knew Orihime treated his sisters as if they were her own, and he'd asked her just a few months ago how Karin had been doing now that Toshiro was gone, and she had said his sister was fine. Although now that he thought about it, she had blushed a bit.
"Does it really matter anymore?" Orihime asked quietly, knowing he would feel the total lack-of-shock from her, and that they would have to talk about this later.
"No, but it's kinda funny." Renji spoke for the first time since Karin had died. He'd been very confused seeing Toshiro crying over the dead girl, but he'd heard enough now to figure out what had been going on. "Hitsugaya-taicho. Mr. Follow-the Rules, Mr. Be Formal, Mr. Never Smile or Laugh. And he's been dating a human for the past year. Sneaking around behind the other Shinigami's backs…"
"Two years, actually." Rangiku added helpfully.
"Two?" Renji laughed.
"At least he told her he liked her right away." Rukia elbowed him in the side. "It took you how many years?"
"Well, you could have told me that you…"
Rukia and Renji continued to argue as Orihime rose to try and break the two of them apart.
"Renji-kun, Rukia, please." Orihime said softly. "Does it really matter right now?"
"Well, they would have been together sooner if Renji had the balls to…" Rangiku cut in, causing the argument between the red-head and his wife to escalate.
"There's no way she can just stay with us?"
Yuzu's quiet voice caused Ichigo to turn all of his attention to her. "No, she can't. Once a person is… is dead, they have to move on to Soul Society, or…"
"Or they'll become a Hollow." Yuzu whispered. "I know that, but, you and all your friends are so strong. You have to find some way to fix things."
"I wish I could, Yuzu." Ichigo whispered, kissing her forehead. "If there was anything that I could do… But the longer we wait…"
He trailed off just as Rukia and Renji stopped arguing, and as a result everyone heard Karin's quiet comment. "You want to delay, because you'd rather wonder and hope for the best than have the worst happen. But I couldn't concentrate on anything else. I couldn't be happy, not with that hanging over me. I just need to know."
Toshiro glanced up from her face, noticing that everyone in the room was now silent and watching them. "Abarai-taicho, the three of you should head back now. I don't want anyone else with us in the Senkaimon just in case something strange happens."
Rangiku smirked, as was expected of her, although her eyes blazed with shared pain. "It also means you won't be the first one to break the news to the others."
"Who gets to do that?" Renji wanted to know, then started sputtering as he noticed both Rangiku and Rukia looking at him. "Why me? He's your taicho…"
"Yes, but you are the ranking officer, and…"
"Children, children." Urahara tisked. "Let's go out to the backyard, and I'll open the gate for you. You can argue more then." He quickly shepherded them out.
"Please, Ichi-nii." Karin turned to her brother, seeing the protest on his face. "Stay here with Dad and Yuzu. Anything you say or do will feel like goodbye, and either you don't need to say it or I won't remember it anyway. I just need to get this over with. I need to know."
"Can I say goodbye at least?" Yuzu sniffed. "Since I can't go to Soul Society like Ichi-nii can."
Toshiro released Karin, and she went to sit next to her sister. "I may be able to come back someday and see you."
Orihime stood up, pulling Ichigo with her as Yuzu slid off his lap and into their sister's arms. "Let's give them some space." She headed to the backyard with Ichigo in tow, and Toshiro quietly followed behind them.
Ichigo turned to face Toshiro as soon as they entered the yard. Urahara stood by the Senkaimon, keeping its doors open although the other three were already gone from sight. It was easier to keep it open for a few minutes than to open another one.
"Let me know the minute you arrive." Ichigo said, a hard look on his face.
Toshiro nodded. "We'll send word."
"I need you to answer one question, or I'll always wonder." Ichigo studied Toshiro's face, realizing he might get punched for even saying what he was about to. But he really did need to know. "Could you have saved her?"
Toshiro's face turned to stone. He understood the implied question. "I tried. I did everything I could to save her."
"You didn't hesitate? Even for a few seconds?" Ichigo pushed. "Knowing that if she died you could be with her…"
Toshiro's façade cracked enough to show his anger. "First off, I didn't know. In case you've been deaf for the past 10 minutes, or the past three years for that matter, souls loose their memory when they enter Soul Society. I thought her memories would be lost…and they still might be…"
Ichigo was about to comment, but Toshiro held up a hand, and the fierceness in his eyes stopped whatever Ichigo had been about to say. "But even if I knew they wouldn't be…Ichigo…do you think I wanted to watch her die in my arms? Do you think there's anything I wouldn't have done if it could have prevented her dying?" Only anger showed on his face, but his voice and eyes were raw with pain.
Ichigo held his eyes for a second or two, then nodded. "You understand why I had to ask."
Toshiro nodded, all anger gone. "I would have in your place."
"Take care of her." Ichigo replied.
Toshiro said seriously. "With my life."
Orihime sighed at the strangeness of male bonding, and was about to comment when Yuzu and Karin walked out, their father behind them.
"That was fun." Isshin was mumbling. "It's gonna be even more fun when they do the autopsy and find nothing wrong with the body."
"Sorry." Orihime replied meekly.
Isshin sighed. "It's okay. You were trying to save her and all."
"Let's do this." Karin interrupted, smiling bravely.
Isshin slid an arm around each of his daughters. "You're sure this will work?" He asked Urahara, Karin having filled in him briefly on what they were planning.
"No, but it's our best idea." Urahara replied. "Our only idea, actually." He faced Toshiro. "The others are back in Seireitei, probably still bickering about who gets to tell the soutaicho what's been going on."
Toshiro nodded, and turned to Karin. "You're ready?" He reached for Hyorinmaru.
Ichigo stopped him with a hand on his arm. "Let me."
Toshiro nodded in understanding, moving to stand beside Karin as they all watched Ichigo draw Zangetsu and move to stand between his sisters, in front of the chain that dangled on the ground between them.
"This may hurt a little." Toshiro said to Karin as he took her hand. "But once we're in the Senkaimon it should stop hurting. As soon as he cuts the chain, I'm going to pull you onto my back and run. Okay?"
Karin nodded, her brave face still firmly in place.
"Karin…" Toshiro whispered hesitantly, knowing the others could hear him. "Just in case…I wanted to tell you…I lo…"
Karin put her fingers over his lips. "Just in case…I want to remember the first time you say that to me. If I lose my memories…and we can't get them back…I'll just get to fall for you all over again."
Toshiro smiled even as a tear trailed down his face, and he leaned in to kiss her, not caring that everyone was watching. "I won't give up on you, no matter what happens."
"I know." Karin smiled, then turned to Ichigo. "I'm ready."
Ichigo nodded, his eyes closing for a moment before he snapped them open and swung Zangetsu down, severing the chain in a single blow.
Toshiro pulled Karin onto his back, and the two of them vanished into the Senkaimon as Urahara allowed it to close behind them.
"Call me if you need anything." Urahara said after a moment of silence had passed with the four humans doing nothing but staring at the gate.
Isshin nodded to him as he left, then put his hands on Yuzu and Orihime's shoulders. "Let's go back inside. It shouldn't be too long."
Yuzu stumbled as they turned to go in, and Ichigo pulled her up into his arms. "Let's get you back in bed, little sister. I promise we'll wake you up as soon as we hear from them."
"Hime-nee, can you sing to me?" Yuzu mumbled, already half-asleep. Her and Karin had been up late watching a movie, and the adrenaline that had kept her going after being awakened at 2am after less than two hours sleep was gone.
"Of course, Yuzu-chan." Orihime said quietly, holding out her arms. "Do you want me to carry you up, or…" Although Yuzu would be a little heavy for her, Orihime knew she could carry her, and she didn't want to leave Isshin alone.
"No, you and Ichi-nii." Yuzu mumbled, clinging more tightly to her brother.
"It's okay, Orihime-chan." Isshin said quietly as she hesitated in following Ichigo up the stairs. "I'll be better off alone for a few minutes anyway… take care of Yuzu, please."
"I'm sorry I couldn't save Karin." Orihime whispered.
"No one could have." Isshin said, hesitating with his hand on the refrigerator door. "If it hadn't been for what she did, I might have lost both my daughters. And it's odd. I… I'm really not sure how to feel. I mean, she's dead, but she's not. We can see her whenever we want. And she's with Hitsugaya-taicho now, which is what she always wanted."
Orihime watched his gaze flick to the portrait of his late wife. "You knew about her and Toshiro, didn't you?"
Isshin nodded. "As did you."
"I should have said something to you and Ichigo, but…"
Isshin released the fridge's door and crossed to put a hand on Orihime's shoulder. "If Ichigo couldn't sense Hitsugaya's reiatsu around her, that's his fault. I'd say it's also his fault that he didn't notice her go missing for an entire night once a month, but you always made sure he was gone that night."
"I'm sorry." It sounded so insignificant, but it was all Orihime could think of to say.
"She didn't die because she was dating him, and like I said I knew in any case." Isshin said softly before moving back to the fridge. "Now go sing my other daughter to sleep. I know both her and Ichigo will take comfort from your presence."
"Kurasaki-san…"
"I've told you to call me dad." Isshin's face moved from the seriousness that she rarely saw on his face into a beaming-dad expression that looked like it came straight out of a manga, and was much more how she was used to seeing him. "After all, I know you'll be my daughter at some point soon…"
Orihime blushed as she backed away from him. "Um…. Uh… Yuzu-chan!" And she fled the room.
Despite being alone, Isshin allowed himself an affected wail as he stroked a hand over his wife's portrait, allowing himself for an instant to remember the soft feel of her cheek. "It's true that she's not dead, not the way you are. And it spares him from eventually having to make the choice that I did. But I'm still going to miss her."
Isshin allowed himself a moment, then returned his face to a cartoon-like expression as he returned to the fridge and pulled out two beers. Crossing to the table, Isshin sat down, opening one of the beers and taking a long drink as he fixed his eyes on his Masaki.
TBC…..