A/N: Okay, I was having trouble sleeping one night and I started to think about gg. I then thought of my favorite episodes, A tisket-a-tasket and the dance marathon.The main theme in both of those was a crazy town event. Then this fic just came to me. It's silly and pointless, but it derived from sleep deprivation so don't flame it. The main pairings will be JJ and Lit.Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Nada.

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It was almost 3 am when Rory Gilmore finally fell asleep. She'd been working on a paper for school and sleep came as a quick relief to her exhaustion. It was a shame it had to end so soon.

A loud, banging awakened Rory. She groaned. She would've given anything for another hour of sleep. Unfortunately, the banging refused to go away, leaving no other option, but to check who was messing with her sleep rhythm. She got out of bed and walked into the hallway, where she crashed into a zombie resembling her mother.

"Mom! It's too early!" Rory whined.

"I know. Hate early. Must kill early. Must kill the person causing early." Lorelai said, her eyes glazed and her voice shaking.

"C'mon, I'll help." Rory said as she dragged Lorelai to the door.

They opened the door with I'm-going-to-kill-you looks plastered on their faces. What they saw was the most bizarre thing ever.

"Kirk?" They both said at the same time.

Lorelai shook her head and groaned. She gently pinched her arm as if hoping to wake up from a nightmare, yet no such thing happened. "Un-frickin-believable." Lorelai muttered under her breath. Rory squeezed her mother's hand encouragingly, fearing that at any moment Lorelai might lunge at Kirk.

"Oh good, you're awake. I was beginning to think you were dead, since no one was getting the door." He said happily.

Seeing Kirk wasn't bizarre to anyone who'd lived in Stars Hollow. He had a tendency of showing up at the most random times. The only thing making this situation worthy of being called bizarre was the way he was dressed. As a turkey.

"So you thought we were dead, because we wouldn't answer the door at 3 am? And why are you dressed as a bird?" If Rory hadn't before, she was starting to question this man's sanity.

Kirk-Turkey only smiled, ignoring the looks on Rory and Lorelai's faces.

"Don't worry. Everything will be explained at the town meeting."

"What? This is crazy, we're going back to bed." Lorelai said, shaking her head and started to close the door, but Kirk-Turkey managed to put his foot in between.

"According to the regulation 1846-A2/c, all people living on Stars Hollow grounds must participate in all town activities. The punishment for disobeying is tar and feathers." Kirk-Turkey said seriously, as if tar and feathers was a common punisment for any misdemeanor of that rate.

"And when was this regulation made up?" Rory asked.

"In 1892, when old Dewey Gibbons' arthritis was acting up and he couldn't go fox hunting with the others." Kirk-Turkey said automatically, as if the fate of Dewey Gibbons was common knowledge.

"Figures. When are we supposed to be there?" Lorelai sighed in defeat. There was no point in fighting the Kirk-turkey. He'd just do what all abnormally large chickens do; cluck and annoy the hell out of poor, coffee/sleep-deprived women.

"Excellent! Be there in 20." Kirk-Turkey exlaimed happily and strolled off.

Lorelai shut the door and banged her head lightly against it.

"Tell me, sweet child of mine, why we live in this cruel, cruel place?" Lorelai moaned.

"There's Luke. And where there's Luke, there's the heavenly liquid commonly known as coffee." Rory soothed her mother.

"You speak words of wisdom, child." Lorelai got up, obviously preparing to retrieve the heavenly liquid no matter what it took.

A/N: That's the first chap, folks!Please remember to review!