Cast List:
Buttercup - Feliciano Vargas/Italy Veneziano
Westley - Ludwig Beilschmidt/Germany
Fezzik - Ivan Braginsky/Russia
Ingio Montoya - Antonio Fernandez Carriedo/Spain
Prince Humperdinck - Sadiq Adnan/Turkey
Miracle Max - Heracles Karpusi/Greece
Mrs. Max - Gupta Hassan/Egypt
Son - Peter Kirkland/Sealand
Mother - Tino Vainamoinen/Finland
Grandfather - Arthur Kirkland
With guest appearances from Grandpa Rome, Italy Romano, Ukraine, Belarus, Germania, Prussia, and others.
Prologue
Peter sat in his bed, rather huffily, a childish pout on his childish face. He was sick, and being sick was awful, and he was really really bored! Pa had told him that he couldn't play videogames for more than two hours at a time because it was bad for him, and then when Peter had turned to Papa, Papa said the same thing! There was a box of colored pencils down by his feet along with crumpled paper. Pa had suggested that he draw, but Peter wasn't any good at drawing so it wasn't fun.
He stopped pouting immediately when there was a knock at the door of his room. Papa peered around the door, and upon seeing that Peter was awake, walked inside.
Papa was short and soft-spoken. He had a gentle smile and longish blond hair. Pa was much more serious and really tall, and didn't speak much to begin with, but Peter loved them both. ...Though he preferred Papa to come in while he was sick instead of Pa. Pa just kind of held him silently, and it was a little bit awkward.
"Hey, Peter," Papa said with that same soft smile.
"Hi, Papa," Peter replied, tilting his head up as Papa felt his forehead with the back of his hand.
"Are you feeling any better?" Papa asked him. Peter just shrugged. "Well, your grandfather is here."
Oh, no.
Peter looked up with a growing sense of horror. "Papa, can't you tell him that I'm sick?" He coughed a few times to prove his point.
Papa looked at him knowingly. "Peter, he's here because you're sick."
"But he'll pinch my cheek! I hate it when he pinches my cheek. And one time he pretended I didn't exist because he thought it was funny."
Papa sighed. "He doesn't always pinch your cheek, Peter, and it was only for a few minutes..."
Peter had been very loud and contradictory that day, though Peter refused to say that out loud. It still hadn't been very nice of Grandpa, though.
He didn't even know how Grandpa was related. He didn't look anything like Pa or Papa, and the only thing similar between Peter and Grandpa was their eyebrows. Grandpa was short like Papa, but didn't have the same hair color, and his eyes were bright green and he had lived in England for most of his life so he had a funny accent.
"Hello, lad!" Grandpa walked into the room, a package in his hands and a bright smile on his wrinkled face. With a flourish, he draped his coat over the back of a chair and set the package on Peter's bedside table before pinching his cheek.
Papa fought back a smile and quickly left. Peter huffed and batted Grandpa's hand away.
Grandpa looked at him, nodded a couple times, then held out the package. "Being sick is never any fun, is it? I brought you a special present to make up for it."
Peter's eyes lit up. Presents were always good. Always always always. Eagerly, he snatched the package out of his grandfather's hands and tore off the wrapping paper, except...
"A book?"
Grandpa looked at him, taking the book back. "Books are wonderful things, Peter, and this one is particularly special. It's a book that my father used to read to me and my brothers when I was sick, and a book I read to my children when they were sick, and now I'm going to read it to you!"
Peter opened his mouth to ask about Grandpa's kids and brothers, because he really did want to know about how they were actually related, but changed his mind at the last moment. "Does it got any sports in it?"
Grandpa flinched very slightly. "Have," he said, in a rather odd tone. Then he blinked, and his voice went back to normal. "And of course it does! It wouldn't be very exciting otherwise. Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants and monsters, chases and escapes, True Love and miracles...!"
Okay. Maybe Grandpa wasn't too wrong about this whole book thing. "...I'll try to stay awake." Peter sat back into the mound of pillows stacked up behind him.
Grandpa raised a very impressive eyebrow. "Oh," he said. "Thank you very much. Very nice of you. Your vote of confidence is overwhelming."
Peter thought Grandpa was being unnecessarily sarcastic.
"All right, then." Grandpa pulled out a pair of glasses and put them on his fact, then opened the book to the first page. "The Prince's Bride, by S. Morgenstern. Feliciano owned a small farm in the country of Florin..."