AUTHOR'S NOTE:
Hi, everyone! Okay, just to let you know; (if you haven't already figured it out) I'm new to PLL fanfics- this is my first. So, please don't be too harsh on me- I'll try my absolute hardest to write well for this series! Anyway, this one's definitely going to be on the dark side. Even though I usually write fluff-fics, I do enjoy a good angst. (Because I just can't help myself) 'Kay, here we go...
STANDARD DISCLAIMER:
I do NOT own Pretty Little Liars.
Emily's POV:
I'd never really been much. Honestly, compared to Hanna, Aria, Spencer and Alison... I was nothing. Because I had so many imperfections, and they all just kept snowballing. And truthfully, I knew I was the ugly one of the group; despite what everyone told me. Because I could see it; maybe not so much on the outside, but on the inside. And now, because of the horrible monster I was, my parents were dead.
Gone. In the gist of a second, they'd been taken from me; snatched away, just like that.
Forever separated from me.
But not for long. Because this time, I just didn't care. I was losing it.
Today would be my last day.
My bare feet padding lightly against the stairs, I made my way up to the attic, tears blinding my eyes and causing everything around me to blur as they came crashing down to soak the wooden floorboards.
The house felt so melancholy; with no sounds but the faint noises of my walking.
Because nobody was home. Nobody was left to be home... but me.
With every step I took, I could feel my body increase its trembling, overwhelming rushes of pain and sorrow clawing at my mind.
But it didn't matter. Soon, I'd be free of all that. I wouldn't ever have to remember again. To remember how A had murdered my parents.
Well, she wouldn't get me. Not today, not ever. Game... over. I was ending this insanity.
As I neared the top, I felt my dark hair begin to whip violently around my shaking form, signaling the warm, approaching breeze of night air I would soon meet. I could soon feel the beads of sweat embarking on their journey as they trickled down my body in sleek, shining rivers.
This was it; the end. The four final minutes of my life. I slowly began to wonder what my friends would do, once they found me. I felt terrible about injecting more pain into their hearts, I really did, but this just had to be done. I couldn't stop myself; I was a ticking time-bomb, ready to self-destruct. And if I happened to take out a few others with me? That wasn't my problem. I couldn't let that be my problem, and get in the way of what needed to be done. They'd just have to understand.
Slowly and steadily, I outstretched my leg to let myself drift up the last step. With every move, every contraction of my muscles as I walked, I was approaching my death. I gasped slightly, the terror of the situation finally kicking in as I became more aware of what I was doing, and less in a trance. My heart pounded like drums in my chest; never stopping, just clinging onto that frightening, quick-paced rhythm for dear life.
My breath escaping in ragged chokes through my lips, my fingertips found the window; the one where you could gaze out into the sky and just see miles and miles because of the high elevation.
High elevation. A key component to my suicide. I really hoped that maybe, just maybe, I wouldn't feel much pain as I hit the ground. On the other hand, I sort of wanted to feel the pain, in a sick, awful kind of way. Because then I'd finally comprehend the sheer torture my parents went through as they were killed and I wasn't there to save them.
It was all my fault, all of the blame was mine.
I failed them, and now I'd pay for it.
My jaw clenched tight, I pried the window open, crying out in shocking pain as the frigid, nocturnal air ripped through my skin like a steel blade. Biting down on my tongue until I tasted blood, I slowly stepped out into the horrifyingly freezing atmosphere as I pulled myself up onto the roof; my body turning pale under the eerie, glistening moon that rained down pure luminescence across my sweat-coated skin.
My arms outstretched to perpetuate my balance for as long as I wanted, I tiptoed across the rough shingles, my form becoming enveloped in murky shadows.
I peered down at the ground with my intense, brown gaze, letting my eyes devour my destination before I fell into darkness.
Because I knew that with just two steps and a leap, my dead corpse would be down there, blood flooding from my veins like water trickling from a broken faucet.
And I began to sob, my arms swooping down and around my middle to clutch my stomach, a mild source of comfort. I shut my eyes, preparing myself mentally as I took a step forward...
"EMILY, STOP!"
Gasping, my eyes flashed wide open, my gaze flickering around the pitch-black sky to discover the owner of that voice.
"What?" I cried, my head whipping from side to side as I searched frantically.
"DON'T JUMP! WE CAN SEE YOU!" A girl's voice screamed, sounding much like Spencer...
Oh.
"SPENCER? Spencer, is that YOU?" I yelled out, my voice quivering as I cried softly.
"YES! WE CAME TO HELP YOU! DON'T DO IT, EM! PLEASE, DON'T!" Spencer's panicky voice screeched.
"COME ON, EM! DON'T DO THIS TO US!" Another voice hollered, most-likely Hanna's.
I paused for a moment, my mind suddenly deep in thought. No, I had to. If I didn't, then I'd just find another way to kill myself, in the end. They couldn't keep me from death.
"I HAVE TO!" I sobbed hysterically, and it was suddenly quite hard for my lungs to breathe. "IT'S MY FAULT THAT THEY'RE DEAD!" I screamed, my knees buckling from underneath me as I sat down on the freezing roof shingles, my head dropping into my open hands.
"NO, IT'S NOT!" A new voice yelled: Aria."A KILLED THEM, NOT YOU! WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU EVER THINK THAT YOU WERE THE REASON? YOU'RE NOT!"
Because I didn't get there in time. Because I should have known that A would pull this kind of stunt in the first place. And, because they were my parents. The people who had loved me, clothed me, fed me, given me a home... How could I not feel like I was a murderer?
Then again, logically, it really WASN'T my fault. I just wanted it to be so I could find the willpower kill myself. Because I couldn't take this pain anymore! I was just going to explode with agony, and everyone would be there to see it.
But there was something that hadn't occurred to me before; something my brain had just stumbled upon in the midst of all this drama.
It was the fact that I wasn't alone. My friends were always right there beside me; feeling pain, too. All of the suffering they felt when A had revealed their secrets, done harm to them.
They were my friends, my best friends, and I just couldn't leave them to battle alone in this fight. Because I had to fight, too. Somehow, all of our lives were connected to Alison's murder, and we needed to know why. I needed to push myself through it all, to just keep standing. And they needed me.
A faint smile quirking across my lips, I backed away from the roof's edge, turning my body as I headed back to the open window. Still smiling, I clambered back through the window frame, finding myself grinning up at three, astonished faces as my feet hit the floor.
"You're right, Aria. I'm not the reason." I held her gaze, sighing as my heart rate slowed back to normal. "But I wanted to be." I admitted sadly, my eyes pouring happy tears as I soon found myself in the tight, embracing arms of my three, best friends. The three, best friends that had saved my life.
Because I had been just two steps and a leap away from losing my life.
AUTHOR'S NOTE ENDING:
Okay! So that's it for this one-shot, hope you all liked it! Review and let me know if you did or not ;) Adios!
