I remember it like it was yesterday, though it was really countless ages ago. Much of our once beautiful home is now lost, for none now live who remember it. And, to make matters worse, what really destroyed our land was not a natural phenomenon as one might think, but a decision influenced by outside forces.
Who am I, you ask? And how would I know this?
My name is Buzzy Batterbeetle. I am a mystical creature called a Toon. I have the head of a duck, brown feathers, and an unnaturally wide bill. My younger sister, Nutmeg Crumblenose, is a Toon as will, but she has pink fur and the head of a horse. As far as I can tell, we are the last of our kind. The only creatures from our world who now live besides us are our pet doodles, Hoppy and Skippy, and several fish whom Nutmeg rescued from the lakes throughout our world.
But how did everything end up this way, you may ask. Why are such incredible creatures doomed to forever roam the cold, unforgiving wires of cyberspace while grieving over their ancestral home? Well, it all started on August 20, 2013.
The day had started out like any other. Our world, an online game called Toontown, seemed to be emptier and emptier of players these days. Even our player, the one who created me and Nutmeg, hadn't been on in a while, but we never minded that. We spent the day like we always did; exploring the estate, playing with our doodles, and fishing in the lake. We hardly even noticed how empty our world was, and we didn't really care because we didn't think it would have any effect on us. Oh, how wrong we were.
"Attention citizens of Toontown," a voice announced out of the blue. I knew that voice. It was Flippy, the mayor of our land. His canine voice sounded far grimmer than usual, which puzzled me. Usually, the grimmest things he announced were cog invasions, and having to announce those never made him sound like his doodle had just died, especially since they were usually over pretty quickly. Intrigued, Nutmeg and I stopped what we were doing to listen.
"For the first time in the history of Toontown," Flippy continued, "I have grave news to report to you all. Due to an increasing lack of interest and growing budget cuts, our creators have decided to bring an end to . The destruction of our home and everyone in it will officially take place on September 19, 2013. Until then, all site features will be completely free to all players, so you and your players will have one last chance to spend time together. In addition, I feel it must be stated the extensive research shows that the use of portable holes to escape the approaching threat will not be possible, as it will come in the form of a special cog that will destroy everything around it until Toontown is no more. It will be programmed to destroy any escaping Toons on sight for reasons we have yet to – and probably never will – discover. That is all."
My heart dropped to my stomach. Toontown was ending? How could that be? People loved us and played on the site every day. How could the programmers erase our world, and any trace that we had ever existed, just to keep up with the demands of the public? It wasn't fair.
Nutmeg must have been thinking the same things I was, because the next thing I registered was her clinging to me and sobbing. "Why is this happening?" she cried. "Why do we have to go through this? I'm too young to die!"
"I know, Nutmeg," I told her, hugging her back. "I know." I could feel tears welling up in my own eyes at the possibility of swift, painful death. Even our doodles seemed to understand our grim situation, as they were cuddling up to us and whimpering.
I looked around the estate. Our home. Our family bond. Our doodles. Our lives. How could they all just disappear? Suddenly, an idea flashed through my mind. Maybe, just maybe, we didn't have to lose everything.
"Nutmeg," I said, pulling back to look her in the eye, "I have an idea." When she looked at me inquisitively, I continued with, "We're going to get out of here. It's going to take some time and packing, but I think we can escape our fate."
"How?" Nutmeg asked. "You heard Flippy. There's no way that cog they're gonna use will let us get away!"
"Maybe not," I replied, "but since when do Toons have to listen to cogs? I think we can duck under this one's radar like we do with all the other cogs, but that's a bridge we'll cross when we get to it. For right now, we need to gather some supplies."
Over the next several weeks, we prepared ourselves for what was to come. We rode the trolley multiple times in order to earn as many jelly beans as possible. We saved some for our doodles and used the rest to buy gags that would become our source of food, water, and defense when the time came. We learned how to grow gag trees so that our supply would never run out. We even fished in all the lakes in our world because Nutmeg insisted that the fish, whom she claimed couldn't hear the announcement because sound doesn't travel through water, didn't deserve this fate any more than the Toons did. I, of course, had to agree.
Eventually, the day we dreaded came. We had all our supplies packed up in the largest backpacks that we could buy. Our doodles joined us on leashes, and the fish we'd saved were all kept in the biggest buckets we could find. We were in the Toontown Central playground, standing between the gazebo and the fishing lake. We were ready.
"Ready to go?" I asked Nutmeg.
"I think so," she replied. "But how are we gonna get out of here? No Toon has ever left Toontown before, and I highly doubt it will happen now."
"Don't panic," I told her. "I have a plan." And I did, too. It was a good plan, but it would require waiting for something to happen.
Suddenly, a massive explosion sounded from Toon Hall. I looked over to see what it was, only to discover that there was no Toon Hall. Instead, hovering right above where the building had once stood, was the special cog that Flippy had mentioned. It was easily about forty feet tall and looked like what a player would interpret as Godzilla in a business suit. The screws and bolts all over it, however, revealed that it was a machine.
"ON THIS DAY, THE COGS HAVE WON! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" the cog shouted in a robotic voice. With that, the rampage began. This new cog had rockets in its feet, laser eyes, finger missiles, and flaming breath. Not that it really needed any of that stuff; everything it touched burst apart into pure code on contact. No Toon, building, or landscape detail was safe from its wrath.
"What do we do?" Nutmeg asked in a panicked voice. I quickly scanned the area. Just as I'd predicted, the cog's entrance had left a gapping hole where Toon Hall used to be. That was our goal. If we could just jump through that hole, we could escape Toontown's downfall. The hard part would be getting there without having the cog destroy us in the process. With this in mind, I grabbed Nutmeg's hand and bolted for the opening in the program that would be our savior.
"ESCAPING TOONS DETECTED!" the cog blared. "PROCEEDING TO DESTORY!" It started attacking us, but I had anticipated that. Using all the skills I had ever learned from years of fighting cogs in the streets, I skillfully dodged every laser, missile, and jet of flame that came our way, dragging Nutmeg and the doodles along with me. We were almost to the hole when all chaos really broke loose.
"MUST DESTROY ESCAPING TOONS!" the cog screeched. Then it lunged for us, as if knowing that all it would take to destroy us was a little touch. Thinking fast, I leapt into the air, tucked my limbs to my sides, and plummeted down the hole with Nutmeg and the doodles in my wake. It took a bit more dodging, but eventually, after many, many years of existence, we finally left our world behind for good.
The cog didn't follow us after that, probably because it was programmed to keep destroying Toontown no matter what. Ever since that day, we have been wandering cyberspace, searching for a new home. Our Laff Meters have been running on empty, as there is nothing to smile about. Every single game we went to has rejected us, for fear of making gamers suspicious of glitches in their sites. Perhaps one day we will find a new home where we can settle down and be happy. Perhaps one day we will be able to recreate what has been lost in our lives. But for now, we are here, just a group of nomads who will never be missed, wandering cyberspace for all eternity.