He threw his wand aside as he entered his room. Another threat he wouldn't
be able to complete, he could just feel the Dursley's laughing on the floor
beneath him. As tempted as he was to owl the order, he refused to give in.
They couldn't help him right now, no one could. Sirius was dead, and it was up to him to save the world. Yet, he was only 16. At times before he had found himself cursing his classmates for their blissfully ignorant lives, yet he had always managed to find his way back to them.
But now the break was more prominent. He was not the same as the students who walked the halls of Hogwarts. He would never be. Either way, he would be a victim or a murderer. Neither good options. It was because of him his parents were dead. It was because of him Cedric was dead. It was because of him Sirius was dead. Now that the lines of sanity were blurred he could see that clearly. This past month of summer had been increasingly difficult to cope with. He had volunteered himself to do each and every back-breaking chore the Dursley's needed.
He had to find something to keep his mind busy, but nothing was helping. The pile of unanswered letters on his desk was living proof of the constant reminder of the life he was to return to. He breathed heavily as he realized he had reached his breaking point. He could not see anyone else die. Lifting his head, he looked to the wand that he had hastily thrown into a corner of the room.
Slowly he walked over and picked it up. He sat back down on his bed staring at his wand numbly.
Disclaimer: Sadly...no, none of it is mine. All belongs to Rowling. --
A/N: Yes... kind of short for a start. But it's just a start. Some replies and who knows what more will come.
This was it, he thought, his key to freedom. His key to a life away from this pain. Never again would his shoulders feel the crushing weight they did now. Never again would his lungs be suffocated with the insufferable expectations. He lifted his tear stained face towards Hedwig who was flapping her wings violently now.
"I'm sorry Hedwig..." he whispered and pointed the wand to himself. "Avada Ke--"
He was abruptly thrown against the wall as Hedwig collided into him at full force. She snatched the wand from his hand violently and promptly flew straight out the open window.
Harry lay a flustered mess on the floor crying silently to himself and condemning his owl for taking his chance away. His hands were shaking as he stared out the window, trying to catch a last glimpse of Hedwig. It was after this that he noticed something laying across his stomach; a letter. Numbly he tore it open, if he didn't have his wand he would find some other way. After one final letter.
Dear Harry,
I don't know what you feel, or what you're going through. But I can tell you this, I got a hint of it when my dad was in the hospital. Harry, I think you've never realized you saved his life. You've done so much for everyone, but somehow you're blind. Ron and Hermione have sent you so many letters, they're so worried. Your one line responses aren't any better helping the situation.
Do you remember that time in second year when I gave you that valentine? I was so scared, it was you that made me feel that way. You gave me those butterflies that even Michael couldn't give me. But Harry, I was so s cared that when I came across that diary it trapped me completely. You don't need to be scared, and you certainly don't need to be trapped.
You've saved my life as well. Just look at how many people have been saved instead of focusing so much on those that have been an unfortunate accident that weren't even your fault. Harry please, open your eyes. You were never meant to go through this alone, you just have to let us help. Honestly, sometimes you get me so bloody furious I almost feel like chopping your head off with a spoon! Maybe that way you'll feel the pain you cause us when you break away. We're staying right where we are Harry, with you. Whether you like it or not. Just please, remember us.
Love,
Ginny
PS. I expect an owl immediately.
He breathed slowly and looked out through his window to the night sky. For this one moment, just this one moment, it held something different, something that could vaguely be described as light. He grabbed at his quill and tore off excess parchment from nearby. He slowly replied to Ginny, as if each latter took him tremendous effort.
Ginny,
Thank you.
Harry
He pulled himself up and put the folded letter on the windowsill. Hedwig would see it when she returned. He stuffed his hands into his pockets looking distraught and seemingly powerless to his surroundings. Everything was different now, and as long as he would live, what made it different would be between himself and Hedwig. After one final choppy sigh, he made his way towards the doorway. Maybe the garden needed some pruning.
They couldn't help him right now, no one could. Sirius was dead, and it was up to him to save the world. Yet, he was only 16. At times before he had found himself cursing his classmates for their blissfully ignorant lives, yet he had always managed to find his way back to them.
But now the break was more prominent. He was not the same as the students who walked the halls of Hogwarts. He would never be. Either way, he would be a victim or a murderer. Neither good options. It was because of him his parents were dead. It was because of him Cedric was dead. It was because of him Sirius was dead. Now that the lines of sanity were blurred he could see that clearly. This past month of summer had been increasingly difficult to cope with. He had volunteered himself to do each and every back-breaking chore the Dursley's needed.
He had to find something to keep his mind busy, but nothing was helping. The pile of unanswered letters on his desk was living proof of the constant reminder of the life he was to return to. He breathed heavily as he realized he had reached his breaking point. He could not see anyone else die. Lifting his head, he looked to the wand that he had hastily thrown into a corner of the room.
Slowly he walked over and picked it up. He sat back down on his bed staring at his wand numbly.
Disclaimer: Sadly...no, none of it is mine. All belongs to Rowling. --
A/N: Yes... kind of short for a start. But it's just a start. Some replies and who knows what more will come.
This was it, he thought, his key to freedom. His key to a life away from this pain. Never again would his shoulders feel the crushing weight they did now. Never again would his lungs be suffocated with the insufferable expectations. He lifted his tear stained face towards Hedwig who was flapping her wings violently now.
"I'm sorry Hedwig..." he whispered and pointed the wand to himself. "Avada Ke--"
He was abruptly thrown against the wall as Hedwig collided into him at full force. She snatched the wand from his hand violently and promptly flew straight out the open window.
Harry lay a flustered mess on the floor crying silently to himself and condemning his owl for taking his chance away. His hands were shaking as he stared out the window, trying to catch a last glimpse of Hedwig. It was after this that he noticed something laying across his stomach; a letter. Numbly he tore it open, if he didn't have his wand he would find some other way. After one final letter.
Dear Harry,
I don't know what you feel, or what you're going through. But I can tell you this, I got a hint of it when my dad was in the hospital. Harry, I think you've never realized you saved his life. You've done so much for everyone, but somehow you're blind. Ron and Hermione have sent you so many letters, they're so worried. Your one line responses aren't any better helping the situation.
Do you remember that time in second year when I gave you that valentine? I was so scared, it was you that made me feel that way. You gave me those butterflies that even Michael couldn't give me. But Harry, I was so s cared that when I came across that diary it trapped me completely. You don't need to be scared, and you certainly don't need to be trapped.
You've saved my life as well. Just look at how many people have been saved instead of focusing so much on those that have been an unfortunate accident that weren't even your fault. Harry please, open your eyes. You were never meant to go through this alone, you just have to let us help. Honestly, sometimes you get me so bloody furious I almost feel like chopping your head off with a spoon! Maybe that way you'll feel the pain you cause us when you break away. We're staying right where we are Harry, with you. Whether you like it or not. Just please, remember us.
Love,
Ginny
PS. I expect an owl immediately.
He breathed slowly and looked out through his window to the night sky. For this one moment, just this one moment, it held something different, something that could vaguely be described as light. He grabbed at his quill and tore off excess parchment from nearby. He slowly replied to Ginny, as if each latter took him tremendous effort.
Ginny,
Thank you.
Harry
He pulled himself up and put the folded letter on the windowsill. Hedwig would see it when she returned. He stuffed his hands into his pockets looking distraught and seemingly powerless to his surroundings. Everything was different now, and as long as he would live, what made it different would be between himself and Hedwig. After one final choppy sigh, he made his way towards the doorway. Maybe the garden needed some pruning.