This fic may contain spoilers for Kingdom Hearts: Dream Drop Distance if you don't know about Saix's fate. Just to warn you.
If you're fine with that, please enjoy! I'm quite happy with how this turned out!
This one's dedicated to my fellow fanfic-writer and RikuShi fan, Amatus!
...
Swear Not By the Moon
...
They have always compared me to the moon—I know you remember that, Lea.
They said we were as different as night and day even if we were best friends—our opposing natures kept each other in balance, kept everyone around us on their toes. You were impulsive, loud, short-tempered. I was serene, quiet, calm.
Maybe that's why I was always the one that always wound up talking the two of us out of the trouble we (read you) managed to get into so often.
But it was fun. I would never deny that. All of my favorite memories are from those times I spent with you, getting into (and out of) trouble. I will never forget them.
But, truly... The moon is not the best thing to be compared to. Not like the sun—the sun is constant, always rising in the east and setting in the west. The seasons change, the days grow shorter and longer, but the sun itself never changes in its appearance.
Just like you never changed, Lea. Even when you became a nobody you held on to yourself somehow.
I envy that.
But I was doomed the moment they began to compare me to the moon—the inconstant moon, bearing so many faces. The waxing moon, growing stronger each night until its peak. The full moon, bright and serene. The waning moon, fading into darkness...
The new moon, the faceless moon, an empty vessel waiting to be filled with light again.
It isn't my fault I changed, Lea.
The moon is always changing, never constant, never sure of itself.
It's not like I asked for this. If I could become the boy I once was again, I would in a heartbeat. The days when I was young—a waxing moon—were the best days of my life. I thought I'd only continue getting stronger, just like you.
But we were cut down in our prime, forced to join the Organization after we were reborn as nobodies.
It hurt both of us, terribly, yet we went on.
And, somehow, you bounced back. You kept burning as brightly as ever—if anything, your flame grew in your desperation to gain back what you had lost.
But I... I began to wane the moment that I became Saix. I began to lose myself.
Do you really think I wanted this, Lea?
I never asked to become this, but by the time I realized what was happening to me... it was too late. I could no longer help myself. Even this voice of mine falls on my own deaf ears.
The Isa that I was, once... he is no more.
It's true. You didn't change—I did.
...You're lucky, Lea.
The sun burns bright, casting light from within. The moon merely reflects that light in pale imatation. It has no light of its own... And the new moon casts no light at all, only shadow.
I have turned my back on you for the last time, Lea. I'm sorry.
I am the faceless moon now, the empty moon, the moon with no light left to it.
I am a shell of what I used to be, a vessel waiting to be filled.
And he has chosen me, Lea.
I have no choice.
It's too late for me, was too late from the moment they told me I was like the moon.
How can I blame you for choosing Roxas and that puppet over me?
The moon is a terrible friend.