Quinn woke up to the sound of her mother's voice shouting to her from downstairs, it was a Wednesday but she didn't have school today, instead she had to do something much worse. She was trying on bridesmaids dresses. In the past, this would have been something that she adored but now, it was something she truly dreaded, she would rather be at school and that was saying something. She had always been obsessed with her looks and her weight and thought that after her transformation from Lucy Caboosey to Quinn Fabray, she had been cured, but recently she felt herself sliding back into the old routine she used to live by, wanting to cry every time she looked into the mirror. She didn't know what it was that had ruined her self-confidence again, maybe it was because she was no longer a Cheerio or the fact that Shelby didn't allow her to see Beth, maybe she should just change her hair back to pink again, although she secretly hated that look, she liked the way that people saw her as a badass, as someone who didn't care about what she looked like or what others thought of her. This couldn't be further than the truth right now though. She got out of bed and stretched walking over to her closet; she opened it and saw a variety of dresses hanging in front of her. She pulled out a black one, a colour she rarely wore now but today she thought the colour reflected her mood rather well. She went in the bathroom and freshened up changing into her dress and adding some light makeup, she didn't wear that much, she didn't need to, she had flawless skin and her eyes just needed a small outline to make them shine perfectly. She walked back out into her bedroom and she looked at herself in the mirror. She turned around a couple of times so she could check her reflection from different angles. She ran her fingers through her hair, fluffing it up slightly, making it flow perfectly. She smiled and showed off her perfect white teeth running her hand down her dress; she stopped as she felt her stomach and her smile faded. She tugged at her dress a little, trying to make her stomach appear flatter; she sighed and sat down on the end of her bed. She still hated her body, it was worse now, since giving birth to Beth she had a couple of stretch marks which would not go no matter how much she tried to get rid of them with various creams and lotions. She hated the way she looked. She lay back resting her head on the wall and closed her eyes taking a deep breath. She remembered Lucy, the way she used to look, the person she used to be and bit her lip fighting back her tears. Lucy was in the past now, she doesn't exist anymore, she was a nightmare, the ugly duckling before she transformed into a swan. She could change Lucy's appearance but she still felt like her inside. The insecurity and self-hate wasn't that easy to remove, there weren't surgeons or weight loss pills for that.
"Quinnie. Your breakfast is ready." She heard her mother shout from downstairs. She sighed deeply; eating was the last thing she wanted to do right now. Still, she stood up passing the mirror resisted to look in it again; if she did she knew she would hate what she saw looking back at her. She ambled downstairs and saw her mother sitting at the table glancing over a fashion magazine. She forced a smile as she walked in; since her parents had divorced she had formed a closer bond with her mother, she saw her more as a friend now, and she needed as many friends as she could find, now she was off the Cheerios she had lost a lot of her so called friends. She sat down at the table and looked at the variety of food laid across it; she grimaced as she calculated in her head how many calories were in each piece of food.
"I'm not really that hungry mom, I'm not feeling so great this morning." She lied coolly; she had gotten good at lying, she had spent most of her life doing it, whether it was lying to herself or to other people, she had pretty much mastered the art of lying. Judy looked up from her magazine with a slight look of concern over her face.
"Maybe it would be better if you stayed home and rested today." She smiled at her daughter and reached her hand across the table resting it on top of Quinn's. "You'll be alright on your own though right? I have to go to work shortly."
"Mom, I had a baby not so long ago, I think I'll be fine for a couple of hours on my own." She smiled reassuringly and took a sip of her orange juice before she stood up and kissed Judy's cheek. "I'm gonna go upstairs and change, have a good day at work, I love you mom."
"I love you too, I'll see you tonight." She smiled at her daughter and got up to clean the table before she had to leave for work. Quinn walked back upstairs, happy that she had got out of the dress fittings, she felt bad lying to her mom but she didn't want her to know the real reason why she didn't want to go. Her mom had already dealt with so much because of her she didn't want her to worry. She got in her room and sat on her bed looking out of the window as she saw her mom drive away to work, the first thing she did when she saw her mom had left was take her dress off and change into the baggiest clothes she could find, that being a pair of Abercrombie sweatpants and a 'I heart NY' t-shirt both of which she had brought last year in New York. She smiled as she reminisced on the New York trip, a lot of things had happened during the three days that the Glee club were there, they may not have placed at Nationals but it was certainly a trip that Quinn would never forget. It was whilst she was there that she realised that she had feelings for Rachel Berry, although she hadn't told her that of course but at least they were friends now, it was better than them being enemies. Quinn lay back on her bed thinking about what she was going to do now she had the whole day to herself; she shivered slightly and crawled under her bedcovers, and grabbed her phone off of the window sill. She thought she would text Rachel and invite her over after school, her mom was going to be out at work until pretty late and she didn't feel like spending the entire day alone. She quickly texted her and lay back on her bed staring at the ceiling. She slowly shut her eyes and drifted off into a light sleep.