Just a quick fill I did last night for the DrrrKink Meme on LJ. I might write up a prologue of some sorts to this...maybe. But for now, enjoy my first Shizaya fic.
His hands trace across his lover's chest, their breaths mingling as a shared kiss leaves them out of breath. Each touch, meant as an act of comfort, only inflicts an invisible wound as they imagine another with them; another to share the night with. A whimper escapes one; a sigh, the other. Both wish to forget, yet neither can.
Red eyes, glazed over from pleasure, place an illusion over the blonde on top of him. The man is no longer the strongest man in Ikebukuro. Rather, he becomes a man the informant has come to admire, to love. He becomes a man that even the red-eyed man can't understand. He becomes a man of Awakusu-Kai. And on top of it all...
He becomes a married man.
The ring on his finger only further breaks the informant's heart after the outright rejection of his feelings, leaving a scar that no one could heal. Not even the one above him as the debt-collector leaves his own mark - a trail of love bites making their way down...down...down...
The louse is no longer below him as he closes his eyes, envisioning another blonde beneath him. His kohai, he calls her as he imagines her writhing beneath him. The absence of missing flesh is all that's needed to snap him back to reality, forcing him to loathe his body even more as he imagines crushing her in his arms with the weakest of hugs and his breath gets shorter as his imagination goes wilder when he finally stops breathing and-
Soft hands cup his face gently, and he breathes again. His eyes flutter open, looking into smoldering eyes of freshly spilled blood that understand and love him, even though he knows that neither of them are being honest. He grits his teeth against the other's skin, invoking a small whimper of pain. His eyes soften, brushing his lips softly against the wound as a silent apology.
Tears fall and neither say a word, silence enveloping them save for the sound of whispered nothings and empty promises. One is rejected, while the other rejects himself. The fact they love each other can't block out the pain of missing yet another. They stay together not for love, but for the fact that neither can have what they want most in the world.
So for now, to avoid the bitterness of reality, they fall silently to their illusion of love.