A/N: Ohayou people's. ^.^ Welcome to the story. This has been on my mind for a while, so I decided to try and write it.

Disclaimer: Naruto and all of it's characters are property of Masashi Kishimoto.

Wide cerulean eyes glared at the disgruntled image in the mirror. If anyone were to look hard enough, a faint twitching could be seen in the corner of the left blue pupil..

Not that he would admit to it.

"NARUTOOO!" That woman.

"Yeah, just a little louder Sakura-chan. I'm sure Japan hasn't heard you yet."

"Well if you would MOVE faster than a retard slug-" A bob of bubblegum pink made it's way into the small half-bathroom, her sentence cutting off abruptly.

"This, is what you were doing."

"..."

"For thirty minutes."

".. Eh heh heh.." The awkward silence didn't last long. Believe it.

"I LEAVE YOU TO DO ONE SIMPLE THING, AND YOU WASTE THIRTY MINUTES ON IT? IT'S HAIR YOU IDIOT, NOT ROCKET SCIENCE!" Naruto cowers, mumbling under his breath.

"Why do I have to go any way? The Young and the Restless re-runs in two hours and I have to feed Kyuubi when he comes in and there's ice cream in the fridge for once and..." She taps her foot impatiently before her cell goes off.

"Hello?... Yeah, tell Kiba I said five more minutes." She pauses and frowns. "Really? Well if Temari is riding with Shikamaru, lord knows his car is small, tell Gaara to just-" Sounds leak in from the background and someone new is speaking. "..go pick him up then, Kiba! Naruto's not even ready yet! Yeah, Lee's riding in my car anyway. Okay.. uh huh, bye." She snaps the phone shut, huffing and pinching the bridge of her nose in irritation.

"Did everyone cancel?" A glimmer of hope..

"No." Crushed. "We had some trouble with the ride issue. Seems Gaara didn't want to leave Shukaku in the hands of Kankuro for the night, he's too damned protective over that stupid raccoon, but Temari wanted him to get out."

"Kankuro... his brother with the puppet fetish?"

"Mmhm, that poor household." She pulls out her cherry lip glaze and reapplies.

The were all gathering for the opening of the new club in the Kohona Square. Sharingan was all over Fire County local news, dubbed as the new hotspot for hooking up. This provided the perfect opportunity for Sakura to force all of them together again through cheery emails and not-so-cheery voice mails reminding (threatening) then to come. It was rare that the Rookie 9 (a name back from their freshman days when they were unstoppable delinquents) got the chance to hang out, life getting hectic over the past few years as everyone tried to find their place as an adult fresh out of high school. But, at last, the night had come and everyone was excited.

Everyone except one Uzumaki Naruto.

It wasn't like he didn't want to see his buddies, because he did. Nights where they were all together usually ended up being crazy and unforgettable and there was even that one time when Gaara got drunk... not that he remembers.

And who would've known that Gaara had a tattoo in such a naughty place.

But that was neither here or there.

No, the reason that Naruto now avoided outings like the plague was more complicated than that. Sakura, the insane trollop, had come to this utterly ridiculous conclusion that he, the great Uzumaki Naruto was... lonely.

Of course, when she said this, he couldn't resist heaving the half empty gallon tub of chocolate chip ice cream at her face before screaming for her to GET THE HELL OUT of his house.

Pff, and she thinks he over reacted.

There were a lot of perks to being a 22 year old single gay man, like... not having to deal with women. Relationships involving them were often painful (as proven by Sakura), stressful (as proven by the rest of his femal friends), and ultimately not worth the bruises in the long run (as proven by Sakura.. again). But then again, Naruto was perfectly content in no kind of relationship what-so-ever. He had more than enough to do between being a instructor at Sannin (a martial arts school where he teaches Rasengan style under the Jiraya division), taking care of his tempermental cat Kyuubi, and bumming out on his couch watching re-runs of daytime stories. His life was comfortable and had settled into a routine built around his castle (a small apartment in the very edge of Fire County's boundaries), it was nice and safe and familiar.

And he'd be damned if Sakura decided to get serious about finding him a, quote, life partner, unquote.

"Uzumaki! Did you hear a word of what I just said?" No.

"... Uh huh."

"Really? So you know what I told you to go put on so we can go... right?" No.

"... Uh huh." It seems the eye twitch was infectious this time of year.

"You're such an idiot!" Twitch. "I swear without me you'd be utterly hopeless..." Twitch. "And then you had the nerve to pull that half-assed lie..!" Twitch followed by throttling motions. "... Get dressed in something that doesn't look like exercise clothes." By the time she finished ranting, he was nearly stripped, deaf, and exasperated with the whole ordeal in general. He would've mused further, maybe thought up a way to successfully climb out of the 4 story window, but clothes hitting his face cut off all thought-like entities.

"Dressed. Now. Or, so help me Naruto, I'll kick you so hard that your ancestors will grab their balls."

Funny thing is, he knew she would do it.

The clothes were, of course, ridiculously form fitting (she explained in slow childlike tones that it was because he was gay, duh); a tight, off the shoulder white top with a silver and blue swirl on the back and a pair of black skinny (more like painted on) jeans. She said he should feel sexy as they stood side by side in the bathroom mirror..

He said he felt exposed and mildly pornographic.

She blinked before replying "What's the difference?"

Finally they were at the door, with her keys in one had and her lip glaze in the other she told him they all planned to be there for 9:30 at the latest. He pointed to the digital on the coffee table that read 9:50 and the twitching returned with a vengeance. Kyuubi threaded between Naruto's legs, reluctant to let his owner go. Naruto believed it was a sign that he should stay before his life went and did something retarded like... changed.

"Out the door! C'mon!" Sakura grabbed one of the chain loops hanging from his pants and pulled him out into the night.