This is based on my other story, as well as what I've learned in order to write it, specifically the gynecological aspects of the sexology field. And it's big time based on the deleted season 6 scene of Private Practice. Here ya go! I just cracked up. Then I started thinking more about it and this came to mind:

"I'm a little busy dealing with pain here, Coop." Her entire body was contorted by it, yet Cooper just sat there, oblivious, reading a magazine article about sexual positions.

She was glaring at him the entire time he was reading it, especially when he made a point to point out what he was reading.

"Really? You wanna read that now?" She'd asked him, refering more to herself as she tried and failed to get into a position that didn't make her back feel as if it were about to be ripped from her body like boning a fish.

She gasped aloud in a mixture of pain and exhaustion as she continued, "Because lemme tell ya, sex is the last thing I'm thinking about." Once she had his attention and was looking at her she nodded to her stomach that was still a good three feet high and added, "You're the one who did this to me, seems like you should be trying to help instead of sitting there reading."

"You don't want me to do anything," he protested, his face simpy, as if she should feel truly sorry him.

"You make me wanna punch you, you know that?" She glared at him.

"You've gone and done enough, trust me," she hissed. "Bastard," she growled under her breath.

Cooper, deciding it was still best and safer for him to stay in the seat he was in, far from Charlotte's reach, went back to reading Cosmo's Guide to Good Sex. The irony that he was reading this while his own wife was a sexologist seemed to escape him completely. Or he thought that this flimsy paper guide could encompass more knowledge about sex than his wife possessed with her years of training, specifically in sex.

"Jackass," she muttered, glaring at him and thinking these things, but Cooper was too engrossed to notice.

It was when he asked, "Hey how come we've never tried position number six?" Like he was ordering from a damn menu that she snapped. Or, she was about to, until another contraction hit. That made her reply become,

"I'm a little busy dealing with pain here, Coop," in the hope that he'd man up.

Nope.

Again he just gave her that 'feel sorry for me I'm helpless but really I don't want to do anything and just be an ass to you' look.

Charlotte rolled her eyes. Jackass.

He managed to look really regretful as he answered, "I'm sorry."

Charlotte saw him wince in mirrored pain, seeing her hurt, but then again, Charlotte remembered, he hadn't been able to handle being in the room when Amelia Shepherd was stitching her up. Then she blinked and shook her head hard trying to rid herself of the memory and all that came along with it.

Sixty-five. She made another mental tic-mark for the number of times her pregnancy had reminded her of her rape.

"I guess I should just be grateful you haven't left the room yet," she gasped, just voicing the current thought on her mind.

She was looking right at Cooper when he realized she was refering to his leaving her after she'd been raped (even though he hadn't known that at the time). And now the look on his face was as if she'd forced him to watch her run over a puppy with her car. Genuine remorse, and lots and lots of guilt.

"I'm sorry," he whispered this time really meaning it, looking at the floor in shame.

Charlotte King sighed, as the contraction ended she spoke up once more. "You're gonna need to get used to it, Coop," she answered. "This is like a mosquito bite compared to how bad it's gonna get, I'm gonna be hollerin' at you and blaming you for the death of Christ before you know it."

"What about the death of Bambi?" Cooper tried to meet her gaze and attempted a smile, not sure how his comment would be taken. To tell the truth, that's why he'd tried to stay still in the room, yet far away and speak as little as possible. That way he'd reasoned, it would be impossible to do or say the wrong thing. Although now it was starting to look like doing nothing was the wrong thing- even if Charlotte said otherwise.

Charlotte gave him a grin at his response. "I mean it," she huffed, "this is going to get so bad I'll be praying for every God in heaven to kill me."

Cooper gulped and winced. Wishing his wife didn't have to go through pain in order to give him children. Wishing he didn't have to be there to witness it since she did.

"So get used to me being a bitch-pain-in-the-ass to you," she added. "Cuz you'll deserve it!"

Cooper readily and quickly nodded at that so that he looked like a bobble-head.

"Absolutely! Absolutely!" He couldn't agree with her enough or fast enough. He'd do anything if it meant it would stop her pain, or make this all in any way easier for her to bear.

"I'd do anything I could to make this easier for you," he added, putting down the Cosmo so that she could see he meant it.

Charlotte just sighed and tried to lean back on the pillows behind her, keeping her eyes locked on Cooper's just daring him to look at his damn magazine instead of her.

"Wish I could get a distraction," she grumbled, making sure she was loud enough for Cooper to hear.

Cooper said nothing to that. What could he say? Charlotte just lay there quiet, enjoying for the moment that her body wasn't being ripped apart, and that she wasn't screaming. Damn I am not looking forward to that she thought, considering the time in the future where without drugs she'd likely be screaming and screaching in agony.

Weak, she thought. I hate being weak. The only thought that consoled her was that the people on this floor were used to it.

Last time I screamed like that she thought-

oh damn it! She pursed her lips and glared. Sixty six, she counted, sixty seven.

"If I was to count all the ways that rapist has screwed up my life," she announced, "I'd still be counting, and I'd be on a lot higher number than sixty-seven."

Cooper blinked, not able to read her mind. "Huh?"

"Nothing," she shook her head and sighed again. She never talked to Cooper about it, or at least hardly, she couldn't well say that being pregnant reminded her of being raped, could she? Even if it was true. He wouldn't get it. He'd freak out. Not to mention all the different ways pregnancy had turned out to remind her of her rape. And now here was her own labor, kicking her in the ass and reminding her of her rape at the same time.

This sucks!

She sighed again. He's the weak one, she realized.

Damn, this is depressing.

As another contraction made her yell through gritted teeth, a distracting thought hit her as well. Something that Cooper could do, and something that he could do that might actually make her feel better.

Next Chapter will probably be rated M, not T, just so you know.

-Okay Reviewers, tell me what you think! Be honest. Well, maybe not too honest. I'm out on a limb enough as it is. Plus, with so few of you reviewing the Charlotte King Sexologist story, I just feel pretty pathetic as a writer. I want to keep working on that story, but I admit it's kind of depressing when no one reviews. It's really sucky when you know people are reading your story, but they just aren't reviewing it. That's just plain rude. Not to mention makes a writer feel sucky. So if you have or haven't read that story yet, go read AND review it too, please. :) Thank you.