And Then I Realised Logic.
So, I'm bored and kinda using this fic to rant on about things that I found ridicules about the pokemon games. ...Or at least the first generation ones. I only have pokemon yellow, red, blue, and green. And only in Japanese too, mind you. Remember the days when we only had 150 pokemon? Ahh, I feel old. (lol)
As for the writing style… I'm just trying something new (if you can tell).
I wandered down the paved path, steering as far away as possible from the tall, ominous tall grass on both sides. They had a tendency to suck you in, in a swirling vortex, with an annoying, repeating 8-bit music echoing in your ear. And the next thing you know, you'd be standing before a vicious, wild pokémon.
The way they stare at you with their glistening, beady eyes makes you unable to flee the battle. Their stare sends worms of shivers down your spine, promising death with every blink.
You'd think if I rushed through the tall grass on my bike, they'd be less inclined to jump me. But no-o; somehow I just barely manage to miss making a satisfyingly bloody-road kill out of them. Is that even possible? I mean, I'm not even looking where I'm going when I jump down hills, and zig-zag through meadows. And because of that, I'm force to battle with those damn pokemon. How does that happen anyways? Aren't they supposed to be more scared of me than I am of them?
"You!" A voice behind me barked out.
I turned around. A man in galoshes, and a fisherman's cap waddled towards me. He clutched a fishing rod and ice box in both hands. I stared at him. Didn't I pass him a while ago? –wait; let me reiterate that. Didn't I pass eight of him a while ago? Seriously, what did he do, jump into a cloning machine? Can't I walk along this path without talking to you again?
I mean, one or two, sure, I don't mind much. But when there's an excessive amount of the same person, what do you want me to do?
And when I say same, I mean same as in same. Same clothes. Same voice. Same pokemon. Same name. Heck, even all on the same route! Honestly, the least you clones could do was spread yourselves out a little? Just walking down this path, I've passed eight of you practically standing side by side.
"I challenge you!" He yelled, rushing over.
Of course. Why couldn't he just chase after me for a friendly chat? Jeeze, I'm a ten-year old pokemon trainer, freshly independent, with old men running excitedly after me. Fun.
He drew his pokeballs, holding them out in his hand. "I have three pokemon total. Let us commence. I choose you, Magikarp!" Said pokemon appeared in front of him in a flash of red light.
I merely threw my ball. Really, what was the point of shouting? I know what the pokemon's called, thank you very much. You don't need to tell me. And if you insist that you're yelling it for your pokemon's sake – encouragement or whatnot – let me say that they can't hear you. Especially since everyone yells it before their pokemon even make it out of their pokeballs.
…but I digress.
My Meowth stared expectantly at me, waiting for me to call out an attack. The fisherman beat me to it.
"Magikarp, use 'Splash'!"
The poor thing flopped painfully on the ground. Seriously, 'Splash'? What was there to splash up? We're on hard, granite, cemented road. What exactly are you trying to accomplish? In fact, all he's doing here is kicking up dust. Not that getting water (if there actually was water, that is) on my Meowth would've done her any harm.
And don't get me started on the absurdity of calling out a fish pokemon when we're battling on concrete. You'd think the battle would be over the minute he called Magikarp out of the pokeball. How does that thing even breathe?
"Meowth, use 'Bite'." I commanded.
My little kitten rushed forwards, teeth bearing out in a nasty grin. The Magikarp gave another flop on the other side of the ground, eyes glazed. I wondered if it even knew what was happening.
Meowth bit into her opponent, and … didn't let go.
She purred happily, gnawing on the Magikarp.
Ah… yes… Cats eat fish.
"Look, you might want to call your pokemon back…" I started.
"Use 'Splash'!" The fisherman's voice yelled again, as his Magikarp wriggled in my Meowth's mouth.
Jeeze, what is he, stupid? Give it up, man! It's hopeless. Meowth will eat your pokemon before it even runs out of hp. Do you want to call back a pile of skeletons?
A red light whipped through the air, sucking back in the unconscious fish pokemon, "Return."
Good job, man. Now please pass that memo down to your next twenty clones down the road, won't you? I don't want to go over this pathetic event over and over again.
The fisherman drew out his second ball. "Go Magikarp."
Hey, wait … is this déjà vu? Forget about sending the note down to your clones. Read it yourself first!
"Use 'Splash'!"
No, seriously, READ it or something. Do you have short term memory? Splash does absolutely nothing and will continue to do absolutely nothing just like the last three times you've used it. Calling it out more times will not make it miraculously stronger, and suddenly do damage to my Meowth.
"Meowth, let just end this and put the poor fish out of his misery. 'Fury Swipes'." She leaped and scratched the life out of her opponent who … as you would expect, just flapped on the hard, concrete ground.
The fisherman's eyes narrowed in anger. "Return!" He yelled. He held out his last pokemon in front of him.
I frowned. Hopefully he learnt his lesson. Twice, in fact. Hopefully this time it was something worthwhile. I mean, Magikarps can't be the only thing you can catch in the sea. Personally, if all I caught were Magikarps, I'd give up on pokemon battles and start fishing them up for food. They're better for eating than battling with anyways. At least you'll never go hungry, especially with all the money you're losing from losing every single battle you've ever participated in.
He threw the pokeball out. "Go Magikarp!" He yelled.
Ah… I should've known. Please don't…
"Use 'Splash'!"
Why did I expect anything else? Don't tell me I have to suffer through this torture every other step I take down the route. Ah, the agony.
"Use 'Splash' again!"
Maybe I should reconsider this whole 'Pokemon Master' business.
Gotta catch them all? I don't even want to see another Magikarp again, let alone catch one.