ember
"i want a troublemaker for a lover;
blood spiller; blood drinker
a heart of flame
who quarrels with the sky
and fights with fate
who burns like fire
on the rushing sea"
-rumi
:A year has passed since the siege of Crait. While the losses from the salt planet were extensive both politically and personally, General Leia Organa has bravely led the Resistance to other parts of the galaxy in hopes of allies and supplies; both of which are desperately needed. Along the way, the rebels have had to face small skirmishes against the First Order, though none nearly as severe as the last time they came into contact with Kylo Ren. With her group of trusted companions and allies, they travel on Home One in search of a place where they can seek brief solace and strength.:
As my feet carry me to the center of Home One's hub for our daily meeting, my mind begins to pulse with the energy that surrounds me, and I feel myself gasp quietly as I come to a slow halt.
Various shipmates pass by me without a word; their own legs moving at a fast pace towards the same place I was heading only moments earlier.
I reach out to lean against the side of the ship as the scene before me fades away; no longer do I see the bustle and business of my fellow allies, but instead, I begin to see a large, vast red room.
And at the center of that red room, a throne that is all too familiar to me.
It was Snoke who once sat within its mold; and no matter how powerful and untouchable he believed he was, someone else now sits in his place.
My eyes finally clear and I'm able to see him as clear as any kyber crystal, and for a moment, I'm frozen in disbelief. It feels like an eternity has passed since the last time we had connected. It truly had been months, and during those months, I found myself at peace. Why he chooses now to invade my mind is something I do not understand. He looks no different since the last time we were both here; and yet, it's as if he's almost a stranger to me.
He sits proudly; chin tilted upwards and posture as straight as a pin. I can sense both the confidence and the power that runs deeply within his veins. In front of him, I see the red-headed general; remember all the things said of him; of how he is merciless...ruthless, and just as much of a rabid monster as his Supreme Leader is.
They exchange words in muffled tones; I strain to listen; to hear what their next move is, but I come to realize it is pointless. Just as I have done to him, he is blocking his surroundings off enough for me to learn nothing of importance.
And then, just like that, when he wants to let me in, he does. I hear their brief exchange before he dismisses the mad general, who turns sharply on his heel and walks briskly out of my sight.
"Listening to another's conversation is rude," Ben tells me. His voice, loud and booming in my mind, startles me, and I step back before turning my eyes to his.
Brown meets brown; light meets dark.
His eyebrows arch, as if he is waiting for a reply. I say nothing and instead, turn my lips down into a scowl. He seems to find this slightly amusing, as I can hear him stifle back a chuckle.
"Are you still trying to get used to my new title?" He then asks, a loose, confident smile spreading across his mouth and his fingers splay across the width of both armrests. "I have to say, it's still a shock for me as well. Being the leader of the First Order is no easy task-"
"-You snake. You conniving, lying snake," I spit at him, feeling both fury and betrayal begin to fill my body.
Ben stops in his words, his eyes all at once glazing over with something I cannot place. If he's affected by my outburst, he doesn't show it. Instead, the smile he had been wearing grows across his lips, and for the first time to my ears, he laughs.
His laugh is something that shakes me, no matter how much I don't want it to, and I know right then that it is something my senses will never let me forget.
The scowl that had been painted on my face turns to a glare, and I can't control the notion to ball my hands into fists. He doesn't seem to notice.
"If we're being honest, it's your blind naivety that's your downfall. I'd thought you smarter than that. Did you really think I would just give in to the silly notion of going to the Resistance with you? No," Ben shakes his head.
His eyes coat with seriousness as he stares at me with such weight, a part of me feels like I'm about to be crushed.
"Snoke was my mentor; the father I never had. He taught me more about who I was meant to be than anyone else. He unleashed the power I now have. And you," he practically shouts while giving me a once over, "compared to him, compared to the Dark Side, are nothing."
It doesn't surprise me; what he says, and yet, I can feel stinging in my chest. I will myself to force back tears that are threatening to gleam in my eyes.
Silent tension settles between us as I feel my balled fists grow tighter. The anger rises in me, but I refuse to let it control me. I know Ben is waiting for me to throw something back at him, but I will not allow him the luxury.
I lower my voice, and my head.
"If that was true; if I am nothing-if we are nothing, then why am I here? In your presence?"
There's wavering in his voice as he questions me.
'What?'
I find the valor to lift my head and meet his line of sight once more. I keep my voice steady and unemotional.
"I know you heard me, Ben. If I'm nothing to you...if we, the Resistance are nothing to you, if your own mother is nothing to you, then why am I here? We both know I'm the only connection you have to her."
I feel his composure slip away as his eyes turn dark and cloudy, and that's when he finally pulls himself off the throne, stands, and walks towards me.
He stops merely a foot away from my own body and our gazes are fused together; unable to look away or break apart. The girl who I once claimed to be would have cowered and shivered being so close to a man of such dark power, but I have come to realize that I am no longer afraid of him.
"You are a fool if you believe the reason you are here is to help me mend ties with my mother. She is weak, just like my father was. No," Ben shakes his head slowly; almost menacingly. "No, you already know the real reason I called to you. I can sense within you."
The hard look of determination falls from my face at his words when I realize that he is right. I do know why I was brought here, and as much as I wish it was to help him come back home; to the Light; to Leia, I know that is not true.
"Yes," I nod, licking my dry lips ever so quickly, "yes, Ben. I know why I'm here. I know what you want. It's all you've ever wanted from me, really. I know that now. I know you sense whatever power I have within me, and how it can help you...but," I pause, scouring over his face before hardening my own, "I will never join you or the First Order. I will never stand by your side or walk by your side. I will never fight by your side while you and your followers slaughter innocents, and I will never use what I have learned against the people I have come to know and love. You know what I'm saying is the truth."
I say every word with purpose and sincerity; because I do mean everything I tell him. I watch him closely; watch the muscles in his face and in his jawline twitch with tension. I know what I have said is displeasing to him. I prepare myself for a violent outburst, and briefly flicker my eyes over his saber hanging at his side.
Instead of a rampage, I receive a disappointed sigh. Ben breaks the gaze we have been holding and looks upwards; a quiet, bitter laugh emanates from his throat.
"I don't know why you try and fight the inevitable. I have already told you I have seen you coming to the Dark Side. It will happen. You will be mine," he lets his eyes glide over me once more; only this time, his irises move much slower, "when the time is right and you have realized your resistance is fruitless."
I shake my head firmly and step back, attempting to create any kind of distance between the two of us. "You're wrong, Ben. And I was wrong," I tell him assuredly. " And I was wrong to believe in my own visions. I can never change you or your heart. It is too far gone. All you really are, is an evil, evil man in the shell of another man who could have done good."
My response angers him greatly, and I know that somewhere deep inside of him, I've hit a nerve. Before I face any kind of backlash, I turn myself away from him and fade out of our connection.
I'm faced with a growing headache from my connection with Ben, and in an effort to relieve it, I bring my fingers up to my temples and massage them gently.
The hub is packed with nearly everyone on board the One, and at the center, General Organa stands, with as much authority and grace as ever.
"With the lessening amounts of fuel in our storage cells, we will need to land somewhere in a matter of days, and the closest world we are in proximity to is Dalastine. I am told it is a planet filled with a temperate climate and many bodies of water. On the shores of one of the bodies of water lay a small rebel base. That is where we will go in order to find supplies we desperately need. We will not stay longer than needed."
She stops for a moment to collect herself as questions and comments of concern and hesitation begin to erupt from around me.
"General Organa, how can we know a world is safe if we barely know anything about it?" A woman beside me asks.
"And who knows if what we need is really there? What if we land and find nothing?!" Someone across the room asks.
These questions elicit even more cautiousness than before, and many people are not afraid to voice their fears. The chaos in the hub begins to escalate, and I squint my eyes in discomfort while looking around the large room. On this ship, I have met men and women that have been fighting longer than I have been alive. I have talked with creatures and civilians from other worlds and have heard heartbreaking stories of what the war has taken from them. And yet, I have met others who have never seen any horror; who have never witnessed a thoughtless murder; a part of me has growing envy towards them.
"Enough!''
A booming voice enters from straight ahead, and without even glancing, I know it is Admiral Ackbar. I hear his feet stomp across the floor until they stop. He's now standing side by side, next to Leia.
"General Organa is right. We need somewhere to seek solace, even if it is for just a little while. I assure you all," he wise eyes peer around slowly, as if he's looking at each one of us, "this is a good idea. I have scouts that have flown out ahead of us and have reported back to me that Dalastine, as far as they know, is safe. If anyone here doubts their account, they can take it up with me when we're done here."
There's a quick pause before the Admiral finishes.
"We will not spend any more time there than needed, as we know Kylo Ren and the First Order attempt to remain hot on our trail. Once we land, we will have assignments for each of you for what to do and what to get so that the process will move along at the fastest rate possible. That's all. General? Anything else?"
Leia smiles at Ackbar before folding her hands together neatly in front of her. "No Gial, I think that will be all."
With a swift word of dismissal by the Admiral, everyone begins to disperse and go their separate ways. I do not do the same, and instead, finding myself staring at Temiri, the young, brown-headed stable boy from Canto-Bight that Finn and Rose had picked up while returning to Catonica not long after our the assault on the Supremacy. He lingers around aimlessly, turning and looking back at Leia several times before beginning to walk away towards a corridor. That's when I pull myself to my feet and pace after him.
I had heard of Temiri's abilities the first time he had boarded Home One. Once he had settled into one of the small quarters of the ship, Finn had pulled my aside and told me that he believed the little boy had the Force; of how he had seen him move things without touching them, and how he believed he needed my help. I was hesitant at first, mainly because I was intimidated by the idea of being a mentor. Hells, just the mere idea of being responsible for anyone other than myself was a bit daunting, because the only thing I knew how to do was take care of just myself. I did it for so many years while on Jakku.
Still, there was a part of me that desperately wanted to help him as best as I could; and with Luke's memory and idea of mentorship still very much fresh in my brain, I began the process of getting to know the boy. Over the passing months, I learned so much more about him than I ever thought I would. He was so open; so free-spirited; like a bird, or even a bloody porg flying around without a care in the world. He would tell me about his time in Canto-Bight and being a stable-boy to his Fathier, Juno. I could tell that, to him, Juno was his pride and joy. He had countless stories of Juno winning races and winning big amounts of jewels and money and how sometimes, if he was good, Temiri would be rewarded a jewel and he would keep his collection of small jewels that Juno had won in the small front pocket of the thick coat he was to always wear. The innocence he saw in the creatures and in Catonica was beautiful to me. He was beautiful to me.
There came a point where I knew after spending so much time with Temiri, that I could never let him leave me. He was like the little brother I had always wanted, but never had. His joy for the little things both amused and inspired me, and I promised both him and myself that I would always do anything and everything I could to protect that; to protect that sense of pureness and innocence, and that meant that I had to train him.
My feet eventually caught up to him, and I gently placed my hand his shoulder. Temi practically whizzed around; eyes big and surprised, before a small smile settled into his features.
"Hi, Rey," he greeted me, reaching his arm up to hang lazily around my own shoulder. "What are you up to?"
I couldn't help but smirk at him. "You know me, Temi. Just trying to get by without causing too much trouble," I managed a wink.
My words caused him to laugh, and then, after a few beats, he stopped, and furrowed his brows in thought. He glanced back towards Leia, who was taking the time to reassure a worried passenger.
"Rey," he chewed at his lip, "do you think it'd be a good time to ask the Princess about-"
"Training," I finished his sentence, already knowing what he was thinking, because I had been thinking it, too. "I'm not sure, Tem, but.." I paused, turning both of us back out of the corridor and into the hub, slowly making our way back towards Leia, who glanced at me for a quick second. I offered a tight smile before bending town to whisper in the boy's ear, "it can't hurt to ask."
This seemed to encourage Temi, because his eyes brightened at my words and he nodded. He eagerly waited beside me.
A minute passed before Leia and the woman passenger broke apart and she turned to us, her features as stoic and professional as usual. She then smirked at Temi, who was practically beaming up at her, and loosely crossed her arms over her chest.
"Temiri; Rey," She greeted, her eyes flashing from his to mine in a beat, "Is their something I can help you with?"
I clear my throat, not quite sure how to begin such a request, but I tried my best anyway, letting my arm drop from Temiri's shoulder.
"General, I know I had spoken with you previously about my desire to teach Temiri about his gift…," I pause, swallowing deeply, "and I was wondering if it'd be possible to gain permission to take a transporter ship to Devaron for a short time. I know it's in the Colonies, but I am told the Temple of Eedit is there, and I believe it would be the best environment for him to grow. I know I learned so much from Luke being in a desolate, quiet place, and-"
With a sigh, I already know what her answer will be, and my heart sinks in rejection and a hint of frustration. That's when I quiet myself.
"Rey, my dear," She starts, looking at me with soft eyes, "I know you mean well. I do; but, I'm afraid I cannot let you and the boy just travel to another part of the galaxy by yourselves. We haven't heard anything from Devaron in years. For all we know, it's desolate and dangerous, and the last thing we need at the moment is for either one of you," she looks from me to Temiri, "to get hurt, captured, or worse. I like to believe I hold a good amount of authority in the Resistance, but this is something I cannot approve. Not at this time, anyway. I am sorry," She then says; her expression one of regret.
I'm not able to say anything, but nod, then bow my head, to which she turns and begins down another corridor.
Temiri says nothing either, and for a moment, I'm afraid to look down at him. Is he as discouraged as I am?
I hear the softest of sniffles and peer down to see him leave my side. I call to him; telling him that we will talk later. He stays silent and offers to response before disappearing around the corner.
It's at that time when I realize that all I want to do at the moment is retreat into the solace that is my quarters; and so, I do.
The silence my room circulates is peaceful to me, and I relish in it. The quietness of a room or of a place is something I yearn for despite spending years of silence and solarity on Jakku. Here, tranquility rarely happens; what with the constant turmoil of unmade decisions or evading an attack or even just day-to-day arguments between people; all of it can be too much.
I'm not sure what I feel at the moment, but I do know that the heat my body seems to be radiating is far too uncomfortable for me. I shuffle around my cabin until I stop at the small, makeshift chest at the foot of my bed. I open the lid, shed the thick shawl that had been wrapped around me, and toss it into the box before closing it again. With a long, deep inhale, I bring my arms to wrap around the base of my neck and proceed to look up at nothing in particular as I take in the sound of heavy, blood-clad steps coming up behind me.
I feel strong arms wrap themselves around my waist as he places his head on my shoulder. My lips spread into a foolish grin, because it is the first time today I have felt the slightest bit happy.
"Where have you been? Hmm?" He asks, his voice tickling at my skin.
"Poe," I clap back wittingly, bringing my arms down to rest on top of his. "You know where I've been. I've been obeying orders like always by being present for the meeting the General called for earlier. Where were you?"
His laugh is like velvet, and he buries himself into the crook of my neck. I play off a light scowl, then cross my arms over my chest tightly.
"Well? Are you going to tell me or not?"
He kisses my skin gently, then pulls away; a chuckle still very much in his throat.
"Ah, not. It's more fun to keep you guessing."
I whirl around and uncross my arms, only to hit him playfully on his side. "You're a pain in the ass. Do you know that?"
He laughs again; this time, only louder. I'll never admit it to him, but I love it when he laughs. It makes his eyes sparkle with something that makes my heart pulse with heat.
"And yet, you keep coming back to me." He throws at me, a confident, sly smile now apparent on his lips.
"For now," I tell him, and he flashes me a wink.
I raise a brow at him, beginning to reach an arm out to strike him once more, but he hastily raises both of his own arms in mock surrender.
"Okay! Okay," Poe counters; enjoyment still very much evident in his tone. He swivels around to the other side of me and plops down on the foot of my bed. "Admiral Statura asked me to gather a few of my guys this morning and perform a weapons inventory on the dock. He says we need a headcount of everything we have before we get to Dalastine, that way we know what to search for first. It took a hell of a lot longer than I thought it would."
My eyebrows thread together as I Iisten to him, then nod when he finishes and falls silent. I turn towards the small mirror hanging on the nearby wall; though my back is to Poe now, I can still see him in my reflection. He meets my eyes in the looking glass, his own expression now a mix of confusion and concern.
"What's going on?"
"What do you mean?" I ask, running a hand through my already messy hair.
Poe shrugs, leaning back on his arms.
"I don't know, you seem a bit...frazzled."
His words make me frown a bit as I roll my shoulders back and forth a few times. Is my displeasure that obvious? Or is it just his ability to read me like I'm an open book?
"Rey."
I realize then that my gaze has fallen from his own, and when he calls my name, I lift my eyes to look at him once more. The worrisome expression has only grown on his face.
"It's nothing," I say dismissively. And, when it comes down to it, my problems in the spectrum of things really are nothing.
I expect a rebuttal but receive nothing. As I briefly run my hands over the hollow of my cheeks, Poe stands, stretches, and then groans.
"Okay then, Miss Nothing's Wrong With Me," he says, the smirk in his tone all too evident, "Want to go to the mess hall for dinner? I heard the rations they've garnered up today are too damn delicious to refuse."
I smile softly, then lower my arms back down to my sides, turning to face him in the process. "Yes, that sounds nice."
We walk down the corridor together hand in hand, and I find relief in knowing that no one bothers to stare at us anymore. Nearly eleven months ago, when we first had gotten together, my ears were no exception to the gossip that had been passed around by others. Some seemed jealous; others just seemed surprised. It took time to learn to ignore the things said by people who knew nothing about me and only knew the rumors of who Poe was supposed to be; but eventually, I learned that there's only so much that can come from whispers.
I'm not exactly sure when it happened; when I knew that I felt something more for Poe than just friendship. He came to me, just days after the assault on Crait, and must have seen how emotionally broken I had been at that point. That was a dark time in my life; perhaps even darker and more hopeless than when I had been alone on Jakku. Ben could not be saved, and though he didn't know that's what was haunting me, he still wanted to be by my side. He never left me alone after that, and he was so careful in his actions and his words. For a while, I couldn't believe that this man was the Poe Dameron, the cocky flyboy I had heard so much about before getting the opportunity to meet him. He was unlike anyone I had ever met because he didn't let the words said about him define him, and to me, that's what it meant to be strong.
That's what I needed for a while; the strength to push through every day and fight doubt and worry and fear, and that's what he was to me. Poe had been the strength I had needed until the time came where I could finally believe in my purpose again. For that reason, and for the fact that he has brought me more joy than I have ever known, he has a deep-seeded grip on my heart.
I scowl in disgust at the vegetable-meat bar between my fingers, and Poe, as well as Finn who is now seated across from us, snigger in delight. If I didn't know any better, I would say that they take pleasure in my disgust.
Rose, as warm and approachable as always, sits down next to me, and I glance at her tray: the same vegetable bar, a bottle of tonic water, and a large piece of something that appears to be grass. I cringe at her meal as well. She seems to notice this, and sighs.
"I know. Even eating can be torturous here," she says, looking around the four of us. The mess hall, at this time of evening, is rather dull and lifeless.
"So," Finn pats his hands on the top of the table, 'Dalastine. That's where the General said we're headed. I heard we'll be there within a day or two."
Poe nods. Rose's eyes widen.
I remain silent.
I'm not bitter, nor am I satisfied with Leia's decision. It is the first time since being with the Resistance that I have felt this way.
Finn takes a bite of his vegetable bar before speaking again.
"From the things I've heard, it sounds pretty promising. Here's to hoping we find what we need."
Rose tilts her head towards him, unscrewing the lid of her tonic water and sipping thirstily.
"Wouldn't it be great if it turned out to be an oasis or something? I'd love to relax, even if it was just for a day."
Her comment makes a subconscious smile spread across my face, and I'm reminded of a time in Jakku when I found my own little paradise.
It was never anything much, but when the heat of the day got to be too extreme, I would take a small break from scavenging through piles of sand, or old abandoned buildings that were unrecognizable, I would retreat to a small pond not far from where I made home. Around the pond were several large, plume-like trees, with leaves as large as boulders. Because it was untouched and unknown to nearly everyone, this is where I would seek haven. When I think of Jakku, my mind immediately floats to my little escape from the harsh reality that my home was, and I miss it.
We talk together for a while longer before throwing our things away and bidding goodnight to one another. As Poe cleans off the table we sat at, I watch Finn and Rose make their way down the north corridor; they walk so closely to one another, it's as if they're one person. Same strides, same pace; unity.
I smile at their fading backsides, then turn back around to face Poe, and I notice that concern has again crept onto his features.
"Are you sure you're okay?"
I nod my head convincingly, then laugh softly, walking up to stand in front of him. "Yes," I say quietly, bringing my hands to rest on either side of his face, 'I promise, I'm fine. It's nothing."
As the unease dims from his face, I'm eye to eye with a warm smile, and I lean forward to press a soft, gentle kiss to his lips.
He returns my kiss, then pulls away moments later, offering to take me back to my quarters, to which I gladly accept.
The late night we had shared together grew later.
Instead of our nightly routine of saying our goodnights, the need to have Poe stay with me became apparent, and when I ask him to, he doesn't hesitate.
We sit across from each other; both sets of legs folded on my bed, and talk for what feels like unending hours, but neither of us seem to mind very much.
"Do you know what would be the most kickass pet?" He asks me, enthusiasm swirling in his eyes.
"An Ewok?" I ask jokingly, mirroring his own expression.
"Hell no," Poe chuckles quietly. "No, I want one of those little crystal critters we followed around while on Crait."
I giggle louder than I should. "A Vulptex?"
He snaps his fingers while pointing at me. "Yeah! I couldn't remember the damn name of those things."
I peer downwards at the thin bedspread beneath us. "I like them, too. They look like moving diamonds."
"Then I'll be sure to find one whenever I make it back there and pick one up for you. That way, you'll have one of your very own little furry sparkly fox critters."
I click my tongue and look back at Poe, who's meeting my eyes with a playful genuineness.
"That would be quite grand."
We fall into a comfortable silence, and after a moment, Poe reaches forward to take one of my hands into both of his own, his fingers lightly massaging my knuckles.
The silence falls when I tell him what I had asked Leia today; about how I desperately wanted to teach Temiri the ways of the Jedi on Devaron; of how he needed to know how to defend himself when the time came, and how he'd only know that if he knew what he was; and, of course, how ultimately, the General denied us both.
"And, I'm not upset about it, but I just-"
"-You sound a little upset, Rey."
I shake my head.
"No, I'm not, I just...don't want Temiri going around any longer like a walking target. You know the truth, Poe," I tell him, "you know that any day, the First Order could be right on our heels and decide to attack us. What happens if that occurs before he knows anything about what he is? The thought of anything happening to him...of him falling into wrong hands…"
I shake my head, willing myself not to cry, but the thought begins to become unbearable.
It's Poe's turn to hold my head in his own hands. His right thumb caresses my cheek lightly; his eyes clear.
"Listen to me right now, okay? Are you listening?" He asks, arching his brows as we peer into each other.
I nod my head firmly.
"I will never allow anyone to ever touch that boy. Regardless what he knows or what he doesn't know, he will be safe. You have my word on that. Okay?'
I dip my head again as a sniffle breaks through my nose.
"Besides," Poe continues, "I am sure Dastatine has some pretty little valleys or mountains or somewhere you can go take the kid and teach him whatever the hell you need to."
My eyes roll at Poe's brashness and I push him away, though do come to the recognition that he could very well be right, and that brings me serenity.
"Fine," I say, swatting at his hands as they float around my head.
His laugh once again makes my insides radiate with warmth.
I jolt upright in my bed and met with nothing but darkness; a cold, damp sweat forming on every inch of my skin.
My eyes whiz to every side of my cabin, unable to see him, but his deep, smooth voice rings loudly in my ears; so loudly, in fact, I feel as if it breaks the silence.
"How lucky you are to have someone that cares deeply for you."
My eyes narrow, and I look in the direction his voice is coming from.
"What do you want, Ben?"
Stillness. The air that is around me suddenly begins to feel stagnant.
I blink, but say nothing.
Next to me, Poe sleeps; soundly and peacefully as he ever could.
I suddenly feel fingers spread themselves over my collarbone and I jump slightly, but not enough to cause my bed to shake.
Fingers become a hand, and I feel his palm slide across my skin towards the base of my chest.
"Ben, stop. Please."
His hand stops in its movement, but he doesn't pull away.
My eyebrows thread together in confusion as I look aimlessly into the darkness in front of me.
"What are you doing?" I ask, attempting to probe his mind in any capacity, but fail.
"Waiting patiently for you to see how very wrong you are."
I scowl deeply, shifting my weight slightly in the process.
"I'm not wrong."
"Your mind says otherwise."
I shake my head sharply.
"No, it doesn't."
I say the words almost too loudly.
There's a beat of dead silence, and I feel him pull his hand from my body.
"Stop resisting it, Rey. Let what is meant to be happen."
Again, I shake my head back and forth, then carefully climb out of my bed to stand, evading Poe's sleeping form in the process.
He speaks again; this time, almost softly...even tenderly.
"Come back here. Come back to me."
"No."
"Join me and become what you're meant to be! Please!"
His voice falls to desperation instead of confidence, and I can begin to feel my heart ache.
"I won't, Ben. You know I that I won't."
Immediately, as if he never had been in my mind, he's gone.
My breathing hitches, and then I sigh, relief filling my stomach.
I do not know what to think of what just happened, but I do know that I have no more room in me to feel conflicted; and so, I try my best to push it to the back of my head.
Poe shifts just a tad and his head turns against the pillow until he's facing me. I smile a tired, drained smile at him, graze my hand against his face gently, then climb over him before settling back into my bed.
Sleep evades me for the rest of the night; and instead of dreaming, I torment myself by picturing a broken Ben Solo on the floor of his lavish throne room; crying until he cannot cry anymore.
Author's note:
Hello readers! Thanks so much for taking the time to read. Although this is not my first story I have written on here, this is my first Star Wars story and I'm pretty excited about it. That being said, I have recently just gotten back into Star Wars after years of falling behind, so please forgive me if there's any errors regarding anything in the story. I'm trying my best!
I am always game for hearing what you think, so please, if you have time, leave a review or inbox me and I will get back to you. Thanks so much!