Onto a New Adventure
Note and Disclaimer: No, still don't own M*A*S*H. Enjoy this new short!
When you're an enlisted man, the lowliest work is always on your back and you never get the girls. It was difficult to have a social life and get along. But there are times when there's a break. And this man just got one!
Oh, I was pretty excited about it, all right! I had two nights off in a row and KP was only a few hours in the morning. Best of all, I had a date for those nights. Yes, me! And it was a match made in heaven!
I met her when she arrived, all fresh and clean from the States and ready to go. She is a nurse. People generally call her Nurse (or Lieutenant) Galligan. I tend to call her Karen.
It was love at first sight. I was loading some new food into the kitchens. They come in crates, you know. Supply brings them in, we sign for it and off they go, into the cruelest room the camp knows (other than where the wounded are, I mean). I was going in and out so fast, with the cook on my back, that seeing her eventually was all I saw.
Well, anyway, there was Karen. She stepped out of the jeep. Radar was getting her bags and all, talking so fast that even she couldn't understand (she told me later). And our eyes just met…and there was magic there. We both felt it, but could do nothing about it. Major Houlihan hustled her out of range and the cook was yelling at me to stop standing around. We would meet later in passing and begin talking discretely until it turned this serious.
We connected immediately! I swear! It was like we were two of a kind, a pair working against a straight flush to win the pot of gold. Major Houlihan was in the lead, but I swear Captains Pierce and McIntyre were trying to jump over her. They had three of a kind they'd like to show her. But this royal flush won the game.
But she ignored them all and stuck with me, despite the rules and the other officers. And now, we have to nights together and all of them undisturbed! I made the plans because I had the most time off. First, we'd have dinner in the Mess Tent together…well, after I served it anyway. Then, we'd make our way to the minefield and sit for a while. We can hit up Rosie's for a few drinks. Then, then, then…
Oh, this was too much! I could do much with her. I mean, it's a dream come true. It's a new adventure I was onto. I wasn't going to end it anytime soon either. Karen will hold my hand and we'll keep going, no matter what.
The days leading to my time off dragged slowly. Even Captain Pierce's rants about the same old food were so slow that I want to scream at him to finish up already! But eventually, I was let loose until tomorrow morning. However, I knew that Karen was on duty for another hour. It left me a little time to write to my son, Jack, in my tent. Luckily for me, everybody else was on duty and the tent was deserted.
Now, the ex-wife was still keeping Jack busy and filling his head with lies while I am in the Army. Granted, I am pretty stupid. But it doesn't mean that she has to tell him that I'm worthless. I've helped to raise the kid too, until the divorce and I was drafted. It's not I did nothing except lose jobs and fail school constantly. I did try to get money.
I sat on my cot and grabbed a pencil and some paper. I began writing:
Dearest Jack,
It's another day here in Korea. There isn't much going on. Well, there is, but I don't know if I want to tell you. It might hurt you.
I looked at the page and almost threw it in the stove. My son wasn't going to understand the love of a man to another woman. He was still dedicated to his mother. Well, he says so to her, but he tells me another thing. But it doesn't mean the kid hates her guts. I just don't want to ruin whatever love he has left for her either.
How can I tell him though? Will Jack understand that men can love other women? And if he did, so what? Was this truly a new adventure then? Or would this just mine alone? Or could he be a part of it too?
I looked at the paper again. I erased the last two sentences. It meant that I was somehow going to get talking about Karen. I think I'm not ready to tell him anything yet. Let's see where the adventure goes. Afterward, Jack will know…and his mother too. I have to be honest.
Determined to write later, I put the letter away for the moment and tried playing with my deck of cards until she came. I mean, the hour waiting for Karen was longer than all the time I had to wait for this day. But she didn't forget me, bored playing solitaire. She knocked on the door and entered without my say-so.
Karen lunged for me and kissed. "I've been waiting for this all day, Igor," she said.
"I did too," I replied lamely. What else was I supposed to say?
She kissed me again. Our lips keep meeting. Eventually, I forgot all of my plans with her. We landed on my cot and just…well, continued pulling at each other. We couldn't wait to get our clothes off too! Soon, things were ripping and being thrown on the floor. I was finally reaching for her bra hooks when the door opened.
We both got up immediately. But we couldn't cover up our nakedness. It didn't matter though. It wasn't one of the guys that came back early. No. No, it was much, much worse.
We were facing Major Burns.
"Private, being naked is against Army regulations!" he yelled scandalously. He looked at Karen too. "Lieutenant, it is against regulations to be dating an enlisted man too!"
"Sorry, Sir," I answered stupidly. "I didn't see any enlisted female personnel here."
"It doesn't matter," Major Burns retorted. "You should be keeping that –" He pointed to what was left of my pants. "Well, you know what I mean!"
I don't remember what else was said. I didn't like paying attention to Major Burns and usually tuned him out if I could. But the next thing I knew, Karen and I were still almost naked and walking across the camp with Major Burns. He was dragging us to Colonel Blake's tent. While he banged on the door for attention, Karen and I held each other close. It wasn't just the cold. The catcalls were bad enough.
Colonel Blake eventually answered. I didn't hear what was said, but the colonel said for all of us to go to his office. It was going to take a few minutes anyway. He needed a drink before he dealt with us. I couldn't blame him. Hell, I was wish I was officer and able to drink anytime I wanted too.
Karen and I just followed Major Burns. It was best to confess to Colonel Blake. On the way though, I sighed. This was going to be another adventure too. I was sure of it.