Sherlock- Moriarty Text Conversation Transcript

How can you say that? Murder, and the avoidance thereof, make everything more fun. -SH

I can say it with quite some ease. But murder does make everything more fun. I hope you do get killed, saves me the effort.-JM

Why thank you, Moriarty. Perhaps you could return the favour. –SH

I'd rather not. Pressing appointments, you know how it is. –JM

Of course. People to kill, places to bomb…-SH

Knew you'd understand.-JM

Well, I am a genius. I understand more or less everything. –SH

Except astronomy, and how to better me. –JM

Oh, I think I understand being better than you rather well. It does come naturally, after all. And it isn't that I don't understand astronomy; I simply do not care. –SH

Sure thing ;) –JM

You, on the other hand, have a highly nebulous and rather non-existent knowledge of morals, ethics and the law.-SH

Well quite frankly, those matters are astronomically BORING. –JM

And wanton destruction isn't. I admit that I see your point, twisted as it is, but rest assured I will hunt you down nonetheless. –SH

Naturally. *yawns* I'm terrified. –JM

You should be, but you aren't because you are detached from reality to the point of no longer caring for anything and losing all apprehensions of your own mortality. Sure sign of a flawed mind. –SH

Just like yours it would seem. –JM

Ah, but my mind is flawless. It is simply removed from the muck of human emotions. Yours, however, is not merely of inferior intelligence but twisted. –SH

Save your speeches for someone who cares, I'm getting a headache. –JM

Wonderful. If I had known how to incapacitate you sooner, think of all the trouble I could have saved myself. –SH

Indeed, if you were trying to bore me to death you would have very near succeeded. Must go now, business calls. –JM

You little- Where did you hide it this time? I was so close! –SH

Well, you should learn to tell the difference between a dummy detonator and the real thing. And how to defuse bombs faster. –JM

And, for your information, the detonator was in the closet. Third from the right. –JM

That's cheating. –SH

Who said there were rules? –JM

I believe you were the one calling it a 'game'. –SH

If anyone broke the rules, it's you. –JM

What even are the rules, then? –SH

You die. I laugh. –JM

Those are not rules. Those are objectives.

Impossible ones, by the way. –SH

Hey! I thought we agreed that 221b was neutral! It's unfair on Mrs Hudson. And John. –SH

Agreed? When? And I didn't touch 221b. –JM

You agreed. I have the transcripts of the texts. And 221c was included in that. Destroying the ground floor of the house was unwarranted. –SH

Sorry- but it's not agreed anymore. I did warn you I was changeable. And what constitutes unwarranted here? –JM

I wouldn't call it a warning. You did try and kill John and me. –SH

Technically Co-Authored with a friend who does not have a account. You know who you are, Watson.

It's a long story, involving texts at midnight, chemistry experiments and obsession. 00:12, according to my phone records. She was Moriarty, I was Sherlock. Up to 'business calls' is all what we actually texted. The rest I made up, cuz it was fun :D That's why the beginning was cut off- we were discussing how I was going to do my chemistry experiments without getting murdered by my mother who thinks kitchens are for food, not poisonous chemicals. It didn't fit the flow, so sorry.