I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist. -sad-

"Mm…." Roy let his hand gently massage the naked it hip it was on. He honestly didn't know who it belonged too, but he woke up next to her. He seemed to have a feeling of amnesia for the previous night. The only thing he remembered was going to the bar with an old friend, though. He must have hooked up with some girl… a really muscular one too.

Oh, no, wait…. Roy let his hand travel up the side of his partner's body and across… his chest. There weren't any breasts there. If there were, they were really flat. Oh….

Roy's memory suddenly came back and caused a small implosion in his brain. The man beside him was his best friend, Maes. Right… okay, so now that he remembered that, he remembered that Maes had got married two weeks ago. Well, this just totally sucked.

"Hm…?" Maes was awake now. He grabbed the hand that lay dormant on his chest. "This isn't…" He turned his neck awkwardly. "ROY?!" He screamed and flipped over and off the bed. "WHAT THE HELL!"

Of course Roy, who had temporary brain death, didn't respond but lay there without realising that Maes was off the bed. His face held a dumbfounded expression, purely shocked and confused.

"Oh shit…" Maes groaned and gripped his head. He quickly stumbled up and ran to the bathroom. He knew where it was, he recognised this as Roy's place now.

Roy slowly sat up in a dazed manor. "Oh my god," he mumbled, covering his palm with his mouth. He wasn't covering it to stop any vomit that might have been coming up, though. There was no nothing rising in his throat, after all. He did the action because he was surprised, almost disappointed with his revelation.

The Previous Night

Maes got up from the coach after hearing someone knock. "I'll be back, honey." He pecked Gracia on the cheek and walked through the hall to the door. "Good evening, Roy…."

"Um, I was… feeling kind of lonely and… well, I mean, I know you have your wife now but I…." Roy said awkwardly, wanting someone to be with for a few hours but not sure how to ask. He didn't know why he couldn't get his words out, it had always been quite simple before… before two weeks ago.

"Do you want to step inside for a bit?" Maes stepped out of the way. "I think I can make an exception for tonight. My wife did mention something about a friend's party tonight. I'll go talk to her for a minute."

A minute later, Roy and Maes were walking through Central to their favourite bar. They laughed, drank, talked and played a bit of pool for a few hours. Except really, Maes was drinking a lot more than Roy was. He didn't even realise that Roy only drank a pint or two, much less than his normal quota.

Finally, around one o'clock they left the bar, each supporting the other – even though Roy didn't need help walking. They were lucky for one part. As they walked past a grassy park, Maes lost his footing and fell sideways onto the ground, pulling Roy with him.

"Grass, you are my saviour!" Maes laughed boisterously and made to attempts to get up or even push Roy off him.

"Maes… you are my saviour." Roy said in a low voice, taking hold of Maes's head between his hand and pressing his lips against the one's of the man he was atop. "Oh god, sorry, I'm drunk." He growled and tore away his face. He was very surprised then to find Maes pull him back and let his tongue slip between his teeth instead of the other way around. The married man pulled his arms away and tossed them sloppily across Roy's back.

"I am, too." Maes muttered, a stupid smile spread across his face. He started picking at Roy's shirt, wanting his skin to touch the other's skin but he was inebriated to no return.

"Maes, Maes." Roy moaned, trying to get a breath through their frenzied kissing. "My place is near… let's get inside first." Roy helped Maes up and they stumbled across the road and back down the street a bit until they came through a door. Roy led his friend up the stairs slowly, receiving gropes and kisses all the way up.

Maes jumped on Roy's bed when they entered the room and Roy tore off his shirt for the drunken man and fell on him. Maes rolled on top and planted kisses across Roy's front. Roy tried to get rid of Maes's shirt, which was harder than he thought. From there… they ended up lying naked together in the morning.

That Morning

"Oh my god…." Roy whined again to himself. "How could I…?" He knew he hadn't been that drunk, he had all his sense at the time. He had done all that… on free will. How would his friend react if he found out? Could he act a hangover? What would he tell Gracia? He imagined it, "Your husband didn't come home last night because he was too busy having drunk sex with me, except I wasn't drunk."

Maes shuffled back into the room with a hand on his mouth. "Did…? Were we…?"

Roy coughed awkwardly. "Looks like it…. Do you feel well?"

"Well enough to get home and sleep…"

Somehow, they got Maes home and passed their story as Maes and Roy getting so drunk they could hardly walk to Roy's place. They couldn't trust themselves to attempt walking all the way to Maes's.

Three Days Later

Maes knocked casually on Roy's office door and entered. "Mustang, I have to talk to you about this." He waved a file in his hand.

"Are there pictures of your wife stuck in there?" Roy joked, cracking a grin.

"Well, there might be. I could have accidentally slipped something in…" Maes looked through the papers as if serious. In fact, he might have been being serious. "Anyway, come on out here."

"Oh… okay." Roy walked out of his office and Maes closed the door behind.

"Walk with me."

Roy walked with him. "What's this really about?"

"That time a few days ago." Maes said, looking away down the hall. "I have to ask you something."

Roy was stunned into silence. He was afraid of what Maes was going to ask him. But even more so, he was afraid of his own answer.

"You… didn't have much of a hangover – actually you didn't even have hangover – that morning." Maes mumbled. "Were you… really drunk?"

Roy swallowed what he could, doing all he could to prevent answering a bit longer. But if he took longer, it was seem suspicious so his answer would be told. "Actually, drinking doesn't really–"

"That's a lie." Maes growled. "You think I don't know you that well? I've seen you sick as a pig the day after a party. You weren't drunk, were you?"

Roy looked at the ground. "I wasn't drunk; not a bit. I'm sorry, Maes, I… I really couldn't…."

Maes shook his shoulders and head at the same time in his superior confusion. "Why didn't you just tell the truth, Roy?" He turned around and left his ex-friend alone in the hall.