A/N: Heyyyy so this is my first fanfiction, and it's going to be kind of deep and probably quite long so hope you're into that kind of fanfic. I'll try upload weekly, if not more frequently but I can't promise anything especially since my school loves giving everyone loads of tests to revise for.
I have no experience with the subject of this fanfiction, so please correct me if I get anything wrong and forgive me if I make any mistakes regarding cancer or anything else in the fic.
The whole fanfiction is kind of based off 'Black Swan Song' by Athlete, and I'm gonna try dedicate a song to each chapter as well so you can listen to it whilst you read, but who knows, let's see how it goes.
This chapter's song is 'Eyes Eyes Eyes' by Tom Rosenthal. It's a bit different to kind of regular songs, but I think love Tom Rosenthal and I think this song just fits nicely with this chapter.
Other than that, I hope you enjoy!
Beca sat in silence, staring at Chloe's sleeping, peaceful face. This was Chloe's first chemotherapy session, and considering how much she'd been dreading this visit to the hospital, Beca couldn't help but feel a little underwhelmed by the whole ordeal.
Beca had imagined Chloe being hooked up to some great machine that pumped bright chemicals into her body in some kind of bright, padded room. She had not imagined this.
Chloe was simply asleep in a chair, with a blanket wrapped round her shoulders. She had an IV in her hand that slowly dripped translucent chemicals into her bloodstream and a cardboard bowl that sat at her feet in case she felt sick. The room was quietly noisy; other patients sat tired or asleep in chairs around them and nurses pottered about, offering water or extra blankets to patients with enough energy to respond.
No-one spoke to Beca, or even really acknowledged her, so she was happy to just hold Chloe's warm hand and listen to music.
As the second hour of chemo passed, Beca found her mind drifting back to the day Chloe had told her about the cancer. It had been a Thursday evening; the only day of the week Fat Amy wasn't home. Chloe had sat Beca down at their little kitchen table and told her slowly and gently that she had leukaemia, that they had caught it early, but that it was developing quickly and she was going to have to quit her job and focus entirely on her treatment. The only thing that had stopped Beca from breaking down in that moment was the quiet hope that shone in Chloe's crystal eyes. Chloe believed she had a chance, Chloe believed that this wasn't the end, and so Beca had faith too.
Chloe's first chemotherapy session had been a week later, and so here Beca was, sat beside Chloe, playing absent mindedly with the redhead's fingers.
"Your hands are cold," Chloe muttered tiredly, her eyes still closed.
"I thought you were asleep." Beca responded, not letting go of Chloe's hand despite the blush that grew on her cheeks when Chloe pointed out that they were holding hands.
"I was, but your music is so loud I can here it through your headphones." She laughed weakly.
Beca scoffed, but turned her music down to a normal volume and pulled her head phones out of her ears. "How do you feel?" Beca asked gently.
"Okay," Chloe mumbled, "Just tired. How long do I have left?"
"About an hour, I think." Said Beca, looking up at a clock on the wall. "Go back to sleep if you want." she added, noticing Chloe struggling to keep her eyes open.
"No, you look bored out your mind, you need some entertainment." Chloe joked, her eyes sparkling despite the chemicals being pumped into her body.
"What kind of entertainment are you offering?" Beca said, trying to stay in as good a spirit as Chloe. It honestly baffled Beca how nothing seemed to put a dampener on Chloe's mood. Even cancer couldn't muffle Chloe's puppy dog optimism and happiness.
"We could always sing"
That was another thing that confused Beca: Chloe's complete lack of self-awareness. Only Chloe would suggest they sing in the middle of chemotherapy session, surrounded by other cancer sessions and well-to-do doctors that didn't look they would enjoy a bought of spontaneous singing from one of their patients. It only made her love Chloe even more.
"Maybe not right now, Chlo." Beca suggested, struggling to keep the smile off her face.
"Okay, well I brought cards, they're in my bag, could you grab them?"
Beca frowned, leaning over Chloe and grabbing her backpack from the floor. She rummaged around, pulling out tissues and books and a tuning fork before finally pulling out a battered pack of cards,
"When have you ever played cards?" Beca asked, shuffling the cards after returning the contents of Chloe's backpack and placing it back by Chloe's feet.
"Never, but I assumed it was something Beca Mitchell did a lot of in her spare time, and so I stole your pack of cards from the flat and brought them here, so you can teach me." Chloe explained.
"I thought these looked familiar." Beca muttered when she noticed the little moustache Amy had drawn on the King of Hearts.
Chloe giggled, and Beca looked up, relishing the sound of Chloe's carefree laugh. Beca smiled at Chloe, and found her gaze caught on Chloe's eyes. Beca had always thought Chloe had the most beautiful eyes of any person she had ever seen. They were the brightest of blues, always full of life and joy. Chloe's crystal eyes never failed to give Beca butterflies, especially when they gazed right back at Beca.
Chloe momentarily forgot about the annoying pinch the IV caused in her hand, she forgot about the relentless fatigue that threatened to consume her where she sat, she forgot about her cancer because when Beca's dark eyes stared into hers, all she could think about was those eyes. She'd noticed Beca looking at her eyes a few times recently, but Chloe had never allowed herself the pleasure of looking back into Beca's. She felt drawn to the brunette in a way she'd never felt before. Beca's eyes were so full of different emotions that Chloe didn't know what to say or do as the pair just gazed into each other's eyes.
They snapped out of their daze when some man across from them sneezed into a tissue. Beca coughed and shook her head, not sure why she had suddenly become so captivated by Chloe's eyes.
"Alright, let's play cards then." Beca smiled.
They played snap for the remaining hour, Chloe grasping the rules very quickly but losing every time to Beca's lightening quick reflexes and years of experience.
"To be fair, you aren't tied to an IV." Chloe sulked as Beca won for the 12th time in a row and a nurse came over to the two of them.
"Alright Chloe, that's it for your first session. I understand that the doctor has already told you about the side effects of the chemo, and how you should look after yourself, so it's just up to me to tell you that your next session is same time next week. See you then" the nurse smiled, taking out the IV and gently taking the blanket from around Chloe's shoulders. Chloe and Beca had to go and sign a few papers at the reception, but were soon able to leave with a few leaflets on how to take care of cancer patients at home.
Beca and Chloe walked slowly to the car, as the nurse had instructed. Chloe was already starting to feel sick, and she barely had the energy to keep her eyes open, let alone walk. When they made it to the car, Beca helped Chloe into her seat and walked round the bonnet to the driver's seat. They drove in comfortable silence for a while before Chloe turned the radio on and began singing softly along to whatever song came on. Beca decided in that moment that she would never get tired of hearing Chloe's voice, and she could only hope that Chloe beat the odds that were stacked against her, and survived this cancer, so that Beca would never have to deal with the absence of Chloe's beautiful voice. Beca also realised in that moment that, just maybe, the love she felt towards her friend went slightly deeper than their platonic relationship might allow…
'Oh my eyes are on your eyes again tonight
I'm happy to be near you'