GROSS EXPECTATIONS
Season: Future. Genre: Romance, but mainly fluff and comedy. Characters: Buffy, Riley, Angel, Willow, Spike, Doyle, Cordelia, Faith, Shannon, Joshua, Rebecca and Giles. Teaser: Buffy's getting married. Notes: This is set when Buffy is 24. Xander, Anya, Joyce, Tara and Dawn died when Glory tried to open the portal, Buffy sacrificed Dawn to close the portal and her mother died at Glory's hands but she didn't care. This is quite silly in parts but I'll make it more serious later. Faith is good again and is a lesbian. This isn't one of my best stories, just wanted to have a bit of fun. Couples: B/R, B/A, W/S, D/C, F/S, and J/R. Disclaimer: Own nothing, they all belong to Joss's wondrous mind, for the exception of Shannon, Joshua and Rebecca.
Part One
"So Riley you said you had something to ask me?" Buffy and Riley were having a meal at an Italian restaurant celebrating the four year anniversary of her mother's, Dawn's, Xander's, Anya's and Tara's death. Nobody had liked them and although they attended their funeral they hated it because well they were all idiots, to think Tara tricked Willow into thinking she was a lesbian. "Yeah" Riley got down on one knee and took Buffy's hand in his "I love you so much so will you Buffy Anne Summers do me the honour of becoming my wife?" "I would love too, it's like me and you were made for each other, we're soulmates" her friends had become more than worried with Buffy, she really thought her and Riley were meant to be. "Thank you now let's go home my little chicky poo's" "Oh of course my little sweetums!" the people in the restaurant pushed their plates away feeling completely disgusted with the way these two were acting with each other. Buffy and Riley ran out of the restaurant with people giving them revolted looks as they left. "Excuse me waiter can I have the check please? I think that scene has put me off food for life" "Of course Madam I know exactly what you mean, why is that lovely woman so obsessed with that revolting man, he must have brainwashed her" "Yes I do agree".
****************************** Buffy knocked on the door of Giles's apartment where she had told everybody to meet her because she had big news. "Buffy, you, sorry Riley come in" Buffy and Riley sat down on the couch with every one of her friends giving her dirty looks. "So slayer why are we all here at 10.00pm at bloody night! Me and Willow were busy" "Riley and I have news for every one" "Continue," "Riley and I are getting married!" Buffy practically screamed the end of her sentence and everybody looked shocked. "My God are you crazy, the guys a freak!" "He is not Shannon, he's my soul mate" "No he's not B, he's a fish" "I am not, that's just my normal smell" Riley sniffed his armpits finding nothing wrong where everybody else was covering their noses. "Buffy I am one of your best friends and I'm telling you, you don't want to marry him" "Look who this is coming from, you thought you were a lesbian!" "I can vouch that red here is no lesbian" Spike grinned wickedly with Willow staring at him intently. "Buffy as the only parental figure you have left since your mother and father died, I forbid you to marry that freak!" "We love each other and I'm marrying him no matter what you say!" "What happened to peaches, did we just forget about him ducks?" "We weren't soul mates, we were like the worst match" "Come out of it, you two were bloody meant for each other and you fucking know it!" "No we weren't Riley is the one I'm meant to be with" "What have you done to her! Have you brainwashed my daughter!" "No Mr Giles, she honestly loves me" Riley was overcome with fear because Giles was threatening him then he lost bladder control and pissed himself. Giles stepped away from the young man and looked at him with revulsion "My God you can't marry him Buffy, he pisses himself!" "I love everything about him, it doesn't matter if he can't control his bladder" "I think he has problems Buffy, please listen to me I would think you are better looking and had more standards than to marry someone who obviously has no bladder control in the face of danger" "Shannon I can fight for us and he can just be his sweet loveable self" "I think I'm going to be sick, okay since your intent on marrying this loser I guess we'll have to come to your wedding B" "Fuck off! I am not going near that thing and I am certainly not giving Buffy away to marry that disgusting excuse for a human being" Riley started crying while Giles just stared into his eyes with hatred "My momma says if you can't say anything nice, you don't say anything at all" "Oh shut up you wanker, now slayer I guess since we're your pals we'll have to come and Giles will give you away but after the wedding we will never speak to you again when your with him understood?" "Yes, you guys are the greatest, we'll have to invite Angel" "Yeah coz I'm sure he'll love watching the love of his life marry some little shit like Riley, see you later B, come on Shan" Faith left the room hastily with Shannon quick on her tail and Willow following suit. "So Mr Giles it looks like your going to be my new father now that me and Buffy are engaged" "Trust me I will be nothing of the sort you impudent little rat!" Riley ran out of Giles's apartment crying with Buffy quickly chasing him. "Shit Giles, if she marries him he'll be around us for life!!" "I don't think I can put up with him for another week never mind the rest of my life" "We're cursed by that moronic bugger!" "Would you like a drink, scotch something stronger?" "Sure, I think we need to check if he's used magic on her, I mean when she first saw him she couldn't stand him and now she's marrying him, I tell you something isn't right Giles".
Season: Future. Genre: Romance, but mainly fluff and comedy. Characters: Buffy, Riley, Angel, Willow, Spike, Doyle, Cordelia, Faith, Shannon, Joshua, Rebecca and Giles. Teaser: Buffy's getting married. Notes: This is set when Buffy is 24. Xander, Anya, Joyce, Tara and Dawn died when Glory tried to open the portal, Buffy sacrificed Dawn to close the portal and her mother died at Glory's hands but she didn't care. This is quite silly in parts but I'll make it more serious later. Faith is good again and is a lesbian. This isn't one of my best stories, just wanted to have a bit of fun. Couples: B/R, B/A, W/S, D/C, F/S, and J/R. Disclaimer: Own nothing, they all belong to Joss's wondrous mind, for the exception of Shannon, Joshua and Rebecca.
Part One
"So Riley you said you had something to ask me?" Buffy and Riley were having a meal at an Italian restaurant celebrating the four year anniversary of her mother's, Dawn's, Xander's, Anya's and Tara's death. Nobody had liked them and although they attended their funeral they hated it because well they were all idiots, to think Tara tricked Willow into thinking she was a lesbian. "Yeah" Riley got down on one knee and took Buffy's hand in his "I love you so much so will you Buffy Anne Summers do me the honour of becoming my wife?" "I would love too, it's like me and you were made for each other, we're soulmates" her friends had become more than worried with Buffy, she really thought her and Riley were meant to be. "Thank you now let's go home my little chicky poo's" "Oh of course my little sweetums!" the people in the restaurant pushed their plates away feeling completely disgusted with the way these two were acting with each other. Buffy and Riley ran out of the restaurant with people giving them revolted looks as they left. "Excuse me waiter can I have the check please? I think that scene has put me off food for life" "Of course Madam I know exactly what you mean, why is that lovely woman so obsessed with that revolting man, he must have brainwashed her" "Yes I do agree".
****************************** Buffy knocked on the door of Giles's apartment where she had told everybody to meet her because she had big news. "Buffy, you, sorry Riley come in" Buffy and Riley sat down on the couch with every one of her friends giving her dirty looks. "So slayer why are we all here at 10.00pm at bloody night! Me and Willow were busy" "Riley and I have news for every one" "Continue," "Riley and I are getting married!" Buffy practically screamed the end of her sentence and everybody looked shocked. "My God are you crazy, the guys a freak!" "He is not Shannon, he's my soul mate" "No he's not B, he's a fish" "I am not, that's just my normal smell" Riley sniffed his armpits finding nothing wrong where everybody else was covering their noses. "Buffy I am one of your best friends and I'm telling you, you don't want to marry him" "Look who this is coming from, you thought you were a lesbian!" "I can vouch that red here is no lesbian" Spike grinned wickedly with Willow staring at him intently. "Buffy as the only parental figure you have left since your mother and father died, I forbid you to marry that freak!" "We love each other and I'm marrying him no matter what you say!" "What happened to peaches, did we just forget about him ducks?" "We weren't soul mates, we were like the worst match" "Come out of it, you two were bloody meant for each other and you fucking know it!" "No we weren't Riley is the one I'm meant to be with" "What have you done to her! Have you brainwashed my daughter!" "No Mr Giles, she honestly loves me" Riley was overcome with fear because Giles was threatening him then he lost bladder control and pissed himself. Giles stepped away from the young man and looked at him with revulsion "My God you can't marry him Buffy, he pisses himself!" "I love everything about him, it doesn't matter if he can't control his bladder" "I think he has problems Buffy, please listen to me I would think you are better looking and had more standards than to marry someone who obviously has no bladder control in the face of danger" "Shannon I can fight for us and he can just be his sweet loveable self" "I think I'm going to be sick, okay since your intent on marrying this loser I guess we'll have to come to your wedding B" "Fuck off! I am not going near that thing and I am certainly not giving Buffy away to marry that disgusting excuse for a human being" Riley started crying while Giles just stared into his eyes with hatred "My momma says if you can't say anything nice, you don't say anything at all" "Oh shut up you wanker, now slayer I guess since we're your pals we'll have to come and Giles will give you away but after the wedding we will never speak to you again when your with him understood?" "Yes, you guys are the greatest, we'll have to invite Angel" "Yeah coz I'm sure he'll love watching the love of his life marry some little shit like Riley, see you later B, come on Shan" Faith left the room hastily with Shannon quick on her tail and Willow following suit. "So Mr Giles it looks like your going to be my new father now that me and Buffy are engaged" "Trust me I will be nothing of the sort you impudent little rat!" Riley ran out of Giles's apartment crying with Buffy quickly chasing him. "Shit Giles, if she marries him he'll be around us for life!!" "I don't think I can put up with him for another week never mind the rest of my life" "We're cursed by that moronic bugger!" "Would you like a drink, scotch something stronger?" "Sure, I think we need to check if he's used magic on her, I mean when she first saw him she couldn't stand him and now she's marrying him, I tell you something isn't right Giles".