Disclaimer: I don't own anything, and that includes the Harry Potter universe.
Here is the last and final one shot in my Promise series. Enjoy!
A Promise Kept
Lily stared at her food in boredom, pushing it around her plate with her fork. This had been one of her favourite restaurants as a child, and now she wished that she could be anywhere else. She was here with her parents, her sister Petunia, her sister's horrid boyfriend Vernon, and his parents and sister, who were equally horrid. She hadn't said a word to them since a polite hello upon their arrival at her childhood home, and yet they had been making rude comments to her all evening.
Vernon and his family knew nothing of Lily's magic, but Vernon hated her because her sister did, and his family never neglected to inform her that they could 'sense' her abnormality. They never lost an opportunity to point out the many ways in which she was inferior to their beloved Petunia, tonight being no exception, but she had been ignoring them all night. She couldn't bring herself to care what they said about her.
She gazed discretely at the ring on her left hand, feeling the overwhelming urge to cry. She had been avoiding her family lately, because they didn't know about James, about all that had happened in the past few months. And she was afraid that she would burst into tears at any moment. She didn't want anyone's pity, not even her family's. She sighed and returned her attention to her food. She was just about to grab her wine glass to take a sip when Vernon cleared his throat, and she looked up curiously for the first time that night, sensing the importance of the moment.
"We want to thank you all for joining us tonight" Vernon began in his usual, self-important tone. He looked at Petunia and nodded, and she smiled at them all and continued for him.
"We brought you all here tonight to tell you some good news. We're engaged!" she squealed, pulling out her left hand from behind her fiancé's back, revealing the large, gaudy engagement ring on her finger.
Everyone was speechless for a moment, but they soon overcame their shock and began to zealously offer their congratulations: everyone except Lily. She couldn't help, upon seeing Petunia's ring, to feel acutely the weight of her own. And the sadness of knowing that Petunia would get her happy ending while she would not overcame her, and she had to stand up and excuse herself, fighting back the tears that were quickly forming.
"I'm sorry, I'll be right back," she said as she clumsily pushed out her chair and fumbled her way toward the washroom, catching her father's "I'm sure she'll be fine" and her sister's "Ugh, she ruins everything!" on the way. She immediately ran for a stall as soon as she entered the washroom and locked herself in, finally allowing the tears to fall freely. And then she started to sob, her body shaking as the grief overcame her.
Once Lily had calmed down enough, she emerged from the stall and rinsed her face with cold water, took a deep breath, and walked slowly back to the table, reclaiming her seat. Petunia gave Lily a nasty glare, but Lily couldn't bring herself to care.
Sensing the awkwardness, Lily's father cleared his throat and asked Petunia if she would dance with him. Glad to be the center of attention again, she accepted, and they made their way to the dance floor. Vernon quickly followed suit by asking Rose to dance, and they too left the table. After the song had ended, the couples switched partners and danced another. Then Lily's parents returned to the table, and as her mother sat down, her father bent over and whispered in her ear, "Can I have this dance?" She nodded imperceptibly and allowed him to take her hand and lead her to the dance floor. She closed her eyes and allowed herself for a moment to pretend that it was James leading her, but when they stopped, she opened her eyes and smiled sadly at her father.
He began to lead her in a waltz, and they danced in comfortable silence for a few songs before he decided to bring up his concern for her.
"Lily, are you okay, sweetheart? I'm worried about you, and not just because of tonight. I've noticed that you've lost weight, and you look exhausted, and you haven't been home much lately."
"I know, dad," she began softly, "and I'm sorry. It's just that I'm not okay, and I didn't really want you and mom to know that. I didn't want you to worry about me. I'm healing, but it's a process. I was afraid to come home because I always seem to be crying lately. I mean, look at me tonight." She tried to laugh, but he could tell that her heart wasn't in it.
They had stopped dancing by now, and he pulled her into a hug. When he released her, he looked into her eyes like only a father could. "Lily, honey, I couldn't help but notice that you're wearing a beautiful ring on a very important finger."
She took a deep breath, knowing that she had to offer some explanation.
"His name was James," she said shakily after sometimes. Her father noticed the use of the word 'was', and he wasn't sure whether he needed to cry with her or beat someone up, so he settled for just listening for now.
"He went to school with me, and he was a pain in the arse. He constantly asked me out and played pranks on people and made me angry. But he changed, and we became friends. He was Head Boy in our last year, and I think I loved him then, but I couldn't admit it to myself, let alone to anyone else. I've admitted it now, to myself and to him. I'm ready to shout it out to the whole world, but it's too late."
A few tears escaped her eyes during her small speech, and her father reached down to wipe them away. Then he gave her another hug and they headed back to the table, where Lily sat silently for the rest of the celebration.
Lily had had an exhausting evening, and all she wanted was to collapse in bed. Her parents had shot her sympathetic looks all night, and Petunia had refused to talk to her after she and her father had returned to the table. Petunia was convinced that Lily had ruined the announcement of her engagement and had sworn never to forgive her. Lily yawned as she changed into her pajamas, and then traipsed to the bathroom to brush her teeth. She had just put the toothpaste on the toothbrush when she heard knocking. She put the toothbrush down carefully and went to the door
When she saw who it was, she rolled her eyes and turned back into the flat, leaving the door open and heading to the bathroom once more. She emerged a few minutes later after brushing her teeth and noticed that he had moved into the flat, had closed the door, and was now standing by it.
She sighed. "Remus, I'm really tired right now, so if you don't have anything to say, you should go."
"We need to talk."
"Yeah well, now's not really a good time. Maybe—"
"Lily, why are you ignoring us? How is that going to help you? Let us in; we know what you're going through."
"No you don't!" she yelled. He flinched, but she couldn't bring herself to feel remorse, though she knew she should.
"Yes we do. You think we can't understand your pain? You think you are so different because you love James? Well you're wrong. I love James too, Lily. Before James and Sirius and Peter, I never had friends who knew what I was and didn't recoil in terror or hate. We were brothers Lily, and now one of us is gone. That's not easy to get over, and it hurts every day. But we get through it, because that's what he would have wanted. And that's what he would have wanted for you, too. He wouldn't want you walking around living a half-life, constantly crying and secluding yourself from everyone who loves you. He wouldn't want you walking around with that thing on your finger screwing up every chance of a future relationship you might have. You'll never be happy like this, and James would have wanted you to be happy."
"How dare you! I get that you're sad at the loss of your friend. I get that James would have wanted me to be happy, I do. But don't you get it, Remus? I envy you."
"What? That's ridiculous!"
"Is it really? You spent all of your Hogwarts years with James. You got to laugh and joke with him and play pranks together. You knew him inside and out. I spent six years trying to hate him and two years fighting my love for him. So don't tell me that you understand how I feel, because you don't. I never really got to spend any time with him. You loved James as a brother for 8 years. I finally admit that I'm in love with him and it's too late."
By this time, her cheeks were streaked with tears, and she reached up to violently wipe them away, but they were quickly replaced and she gave up. She looked at Remus and could see that he finally understood why she was always alone, even in a room full of people. She could see the pity written on his face, and she hated it. She looked down at the hem of her pajama shirt, fiddling with it to keep her hands busy.
"I'm sorry, Lily," he said finally. "I guess I really didn't realize what you were going through." She nodded and sighed, keeping her eyes on the sofa. "But that doesn't change the fact that James would want you to be happy. He would want you to love again, Lily."
"I know that. But I belong to him, Remus. I don't want anybody else." She sighed again after some time, and then looked up to him. "Listen, I really think you should go. I just got home from an exhausting family dinner and I just want to go to sleep."
"Okay," he replied, "but you have to promise not to ignore us anymore."
"I promise," she said, smiling softly, and he smiled back.
She walked over to him and gave him a hug, pulling back after a few moments and placing her hand on the door. He waved goodbye as he turned and left, and she closed the door behind him. Then she walked slowly to her room and collapsed on her bed.
Minutes later she heard knocking at the door again, and she groaned. She tried to ignore it, but it came again, and she knew that she would have to answer it. It was most likely Remus again, and he knew that she was home, so he wouldn't go away. It took all her remaining energy, but she managed to get up and make her way to the door. She started talking on her way, loudly enough for the person to hear her.
"Remus, please. I really need sleep. You know that I've been having trouble sleeping lately and I finally feel so exhausted that I might just get a good night's sleep. Can we please just—"
But she trailed off when she opened the door and saw who was on the other side. She turned around and walked away from the door, bent over and took a few deep breaths, closing her eyes and counting to ten. Then she turned back, expecting to find an empty room, but he was still there, standing just outside the wide-open door. She froze, unable to do anything but stare at him. He had to be an illusion; he looked too healthy for someone who had been God knows where for months and had been proclaimed dead.
And then he breathed her name, and so many months of agony were wiped away. The tears spilled down her cheeks and she whispered, "Oh God," before her knees collapsed underneath her. But James had already made his way to her, so instead of hitting the floor, she was wrapped up in his arms. He held her close, and she could feel his own tears on her hair. She felt him pick her up and carry her to her bedroom, laying her on the bed and lying down next to her. She refused to unbury her face from his chest. She clung to him tightly as he whispered calming words, and she cried herself to sleep, finally giving into her exhaustion. He knew she was asleep when her grip loosened, and he allowed himself to drift into sleep too.
Lily awoke the next morning, musing that she was unusually warm. She felt content, at peace, a feeling of safety that she couldn't explain. She soon became more aware of her surroundings, particularly the pair of masculine arms wrapped around her waist, and she smiled a true smile for the first time since she could remember.
She turned in his arms and gazed at his face, a content expression gracing it as he slept. She didn't know what had happened to him. She didn't know how he had gotten away. She didn't know where he had been for the last few months. But none of that mattered right now. What mattered was that he was here now.
Lily felt her stomach grumble and grinned, deciding to make breakfast. She loved the fact that she wouldn't be cooking for one this morning. She gently took his hand and removed his arm from around her, noticing immediately the loss of heat. She leaned over and kissed his forehead before getting out of the bed slowly and heading toward the kitchen.
She was just getting out a pan when he emerged from the bedroom and she felt him wrap his arms around her from behind and kiss her cheek. She relaxed against him, relishing having him this close to her. She closed her eyes, and they stayed like that for several minutes, just basking in their love. But the moment came to an end when she felt him stiffen behind her, and she turned in his arms to face him. She could clearly see the surprise etched on his face, and she knew that hers revealed her confusion. She could not figure out what had changed in the last minute until it dawned on her that the only connection between them now was her left hand held tightly in his.
She blushed deeply and pulled her hand away, her eyes falling for the first time since his return upon his mother's ring, sparkling up at her from its place on her finger. She looked at the floor for several minutes, unable to form any words. She could feel the heat of his gaze, and she could only imagine what he must be thinking, what he must be feeling: confusion, maybe even anger.
She loved him so much, and she couldn't stand the thought that he might be angry with her. She wanted desperately for him to understand why she had done it. She looked up finally to meet his eyes, and at once the words started to tumble from her lips, and she couldn't stop herself.
"I am so sorry, James. I just…Sirius brought it over…he found it at Voldemort's hideout or something…he said that you would have wanted me to have it…I know this isn't what he meant, but I thought you were dead, and it made me feel closer to you. I just…here." She fumbled with the ring as she spoke, finally removing it from her finger and clumsily placing it in his hand, all the while looking at the floor. "You can have it back of course…it's yours after all and I'm so sorry that I…It wasn't my place and I—"
She stopped when she felt his fingers under her chin, and he gently angled her face up and leaned down, letting his lips brush across hers slowly and gently. She clung to him, savouring the feeling of having him this close to her. When he broke the kiss, he touched his forehead to hers, closing his eyes and breathing deeply.
He pulled back completely, and Lily closed her eyes and sighed contentedly as he brushed a bit of her hair behind her ear and allowed his fingers to linger at the side of her face. "Marry me..."
She felt her heart stop and her body stiffen, and her eyes flew open in surprise. She could only stare at him. The words had been whispered, but she knew she had heard them. She could see the love and the question in his hazel eyes, and she knew that he was really asking her to be his wife. She wanted to say something, anything, but when she opened her mouth, no sound came out.
After several attempts to speak, she finally found her voice and all her thoughts rushed out at once. "Are you sure? Because you know, just because I was wearing your mother's ring doesn't mean that I'm expecting anything now. And I know that you weren't going to propose to me any time soon or maybe not even at all. I mean, Sirius said that you wanted to give it to me, but that ring was meant for the girl you are going to marry and you could marry anyone, not just me and—"
He kissed her again, effectively silencing her, and then pulled back and looked at her lovingly. "Marry me, Lily."
"Yes."
He smiled at her, slipping his mother's ring back on her finger and bringing her left hand to his lips briefly. "I love you."
"I love you too."
He then pulled her into his embrace, kissing her hair, and her forehead, and her cheek before finally whispering in her ear, "It's always been you."
Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who's stuck by me through this series of stories, especially since I took so long between stories. It's finally done! Thank you to everyone who reviewed for the inspiration. You guys are awesome!
