Title: Substitute
Summary: Fate's POV of the events of MGLN and its sequels. Perhaps slightly AU.
Paring: Onesided Nanoha/Fate
Spoilers: Follow the MGLN storyline
Disclaimer: Not mine!
Feedback: Feel free. I need to actually get concrit so I can write better
When Fate first has dreams about her mother being happy, laughing with her, she barely notices that the name she was called in her dreams was not her own…
"Alicia"….
Yet still, she pays no attention, for dreams are merely memories, distorted by the subconscious. Besides, it is not important, all she wants is for her mother to smile at her like that once wants her mother to smile at her once more in real life, and not just in her dreams.
So, she tries her hardest, works herself to death, trying to capture all the jewels with a desperate sort of energy, barely noticing her worried familiar watching her from the side lines. She is totally focused.
Somehow, it's never quite good enough. The jewels slip through her hands somehow, leaving her floundering, unable to capture as many as her mother needs. When she gets home, there is no smile or happiness waiting. Instead, her body becomes riddled with red gashes and yet, for one moment, Fate is happy, because as it happens, her mother sometimes has a smile on her face, cruel and sinister. It is still a smile. Fate is finally doing something right.
Then, she suffers the ultimate failure. Who would have thought that the seemingly weak brown haired girl she met would be so powerful, able to beat her? It happened, however, and she has lost. Back they go, and as Fate listens to her mother rant, it all becomes clear.
Her name is not Alicia, but she is no longer confused.
After the battle, after she is adopted, while they grow up, Fate tries to forget that she is merely a copy of another, living a life not supposed to be lived. Yet, the thought haunts her late at night, when she is supposed to be fast asleep in bed.
She wonders, if Alicia had never died and had met Nanoha, they would have been friends. Best friends? Would Alicia have the same feelings for Nanoha that Fate has, the anxious fluttering in her stomach that she constantly feels if Nanoha is too close, the inability to concentrate for thoughts of the brown haired girl.
Riot Force Six is formed, and Fate has learned to live with the knowledge of who she is, what she is, and not to dwell on the fact. Being close to Nanoha helps, for Nanoha has never seen her as anything besides Fate-chan, her dearest friend. Besides, it is still hard to focus when Nanoha is around.
Sometimes, the brown haired girl will drag her away from her duties to go have fun, picnics in the park with Vivio, Hayate and Yuuno, trips to 'mega-super awesome death traps' (otherwise known as theme parks, an addiction of Nanoha's), and so forth. Sometimes on these trips, Nanoha's gaze meets hers and Fate knows it's futile, but she hopes...Then Nanoha looks at Yuuno and for a moment, her eyes light up, mouth tilting upwards almost imperceptibly. Fate's heart clenches in her chest and she wonders when Yuuno will take her place, when Yuuno will be the one living with Nanoha and Vivio, laughing with them, sharing all their joys and sorrows.
For after all, Fate knows...she was made to be a substitute. She'll never be more than a substitute, not even for the one who makes her believe she could be.