A/N: Kay. So. Yuffie might seem a little...OOC at first. There's a perfectly good reason for that.
Anyways, enjoy!
-
"Oh my god, I love your shirt. Three Days Grace is like my favorite band," were the first words Yuffie heard when she walked into the restaurant.
Yuffie grinned. "I love them," she said, looking up at the girl. "Holy Materia, you're cute," she felt her eyes widen. "Err, you didn't hear me say that."
The girl smiled. "Are you meeting anyone? Or is it just one?"
Yuffie's smile instantly faded. "Just one," she said, glumly. She followed the red-headed host (hostess?) to a table.
"Is this table okay?"
Yuffie nodded and mumbled a thank you.
The red-head nodded and walked away, soon replaced by a blond version of the girl. Yuffie stared. "Are you and that red-haired babe like...clones or something?"
The blond waitress shook her head, and asked what the black haired girl wanted.
"Mountain Dew...and is it okay if I order my pizza now?" The blond nodded. "Okay... So I want a Veggie pizza, with the stuffed crust...in whatever size that comes in. And uh, instead of green peppers, can I have green olives?" The blond girl nodded again, before quietly saying something Yuffie didn't hear because the red-head had walked past.
Yuffie's pizza came a while later, and she picked up a piece. The size of it reminded her that she was...alone. It killed her appetite a bit and made her mood sink even more.
"Hey...don't cry!"
Yuffie's head shot up. The red-headed girl was leaning over, hands on her knees as she looked at the Wutian girl with concern. Yuffie quickly rubbed her face free of any tears.
The red-head bit her lip. "I'm on break right now... do you want to talk about it?"
"You don't have to-yes."
The girl smiled. It was then that Yuffie realized that she wasn't wearing her apron, and had given Yuffie a clear view down her v-necked black shirt. Yuffie felt the heat rise to her cheeks slightly. "My name's Kairi, what's yours?"
"Yuffie," she said, and glanced at her pizza. "You said it was your break...so if you don't mind the toppings, help yourself... I don't think I'll be able to eat that much by myself."
"You could always ask for a box later," the girl, Kairi, said. "Now, what's got you so down in the dumps? It really doesn't suit you, you know."
"Uh, well..." Yuffie sighed. "See, my girlfriend, Tifa... she... I caught her making out with my best friend's roommate and I got mad and she got mad and he got mad and the dog got mad and bit me and then I got more mad and Tifa got mad at the dog and so did he and then we were all fighting and then I ran out and told her I never wanted to see her again and I went and beat up my best friend and he got mad and told me to go away so I went to the park and sat in the tunnel and cried for three hours and then I got hungry so I came here and I just can't believe that she did that after we grew up together and were together for three years... I just... It hurts," she said, and took a deep, gasping breath.
Kairi rubbed the girls back comfortingly. "Well, maybe it just wasn't meant to be? I mean, if she cheated on you, she's clearly not good enough for you, Yuffie."
Yuffie shook her head. "I love her so much though, Kai-kai... I don't know what I'm going to do without her... I mean, I guess I can move in with Cid, but we were so close, I mean if she liked him better she should have just told me, I woulda understood, I mean, it would have hurt a lot less than being cheated on, right?"
Kairi 'hmm'-ed, and nodded. "Well, I'm sure she just... didn't want to hurt you, so she didn't tell you... I mean, sometimes people think that it'll hurt less, but sometimes it doesn't. Especially when your significant other goes for someone you know and are friends with..."
Yuffie nodded. "You sound like you know what you're talking about, Kairi."
Kairi smiled a little. "My best friends turned out to be gay for each other... naturally, they didn't realize it until one of them had been with me for two years, and they were together for the next two years while silly little me was completely unaware until I caught them making out in the girl's bathroom-which was awkward since they're both guys," she said, laughing a little at the end. Kairi shrugged. "I guess the most you can do in a situation like this, where the person turns out liking men, is to just... pray for their happiness and hope you'll find someone else." She sighed and glanced at Yuffie, before taking a piece of the pizza. "By the way, you have the best taste in pizza. That Tifa chick doesn't know what she's losing, if you ask me."
Yuffie beamed at her. "Thanks, Kairi," she said, taking a bite of her own slice. "Tifa always hated olives...she would run away whenever I so much as mentioned them in casual conversation."
"Ugh, Nami's the same way. She absolutely hates them, but I just can't get enough of them...they're so sour and salty and delicious, you know?"
Yuffie nodded. "They're like... the gods of the brine-soaked plant," she said, smiling contently. "Oh yeah, is that blond girl your washed out clone?"
Kairi blinked, then stared, then burst out laughing. "I've never heard that one before... but no, she's not. Namine's my half sister."
Yuffie made an 'o' with her mouth. "Er, well... in that case, I guess I don't need to worry about an invasion of Kairi clones after all..."
"No, but I might make a militia of pretty gay men and take over the city, you never know."
"I don't think that's much of a threat to me... I mean, if I had the parts for it and liked guys I might even join it...but I don't and so I'll cheer you on in your mission and use my ninja skills to assist you in taking down the man from the inside."
Kairi giggled. "Yuffie, you're awesome. You have good taste in music, pizza, and you have a great sense of humor... why anyone would ever want to go straight and give you up is beyond me."
Yuffie felt herself blush and looked away. "Aw, shucks... I mean, I know I'm kinda really super awesome, but you're flattering me, really."
"Well aren't you just the most modest person I ever did see," Kairi said, smiling as she finished her piece of pizza. "Unfortunately, I gotta go back to work, my break's up. It was nice talking to you though, and thanks for sharing your pizza with a stranger."
"Oh...okay. Thanks for listening to a stranger, and helping this stranger eat her food... I'll,uh, see you around, right?"
Kairi smiled. "Yeah," she said. "Yeah, I think you will, Yuffie."
Yuffie sighed as she payed her bill, putting her left overs in a box. She waited for her card to be brought back.
Kairi walked up to the table and handed her the black folder-thingy bills came in before flashing her a smile and walking off. Yuffie smiled back and retrieved her receipt and card from the book before standing up and grabbing her box.
A bit of red pen on the receipt caught Yuffie's eye as she sat down on the bus. 'Hey, Yuffie! Give me a call/text if you wanna talk or hang or whatever, feel better soon :'] -Kairi' The red print said, in loopy, girly writing that out-shined Yuffie's squished and often warped chicken-scratch in all manners of legibility.
Yuffie smiled before stuffing the slip of paper into her pocket. That girl had turned a really bad day into a pretty awesome one. Sure, her girlfriend cheated on her and she was now homeless, but she'd made a new friend who shared similar music and food tastes and was willing to listen to her. Tifa had been a bit opposite of her in regards to food, and her music choices were different, too- Tifa had this strange obsession with Taking Back Sunday-which Yuffie did like, but she wasn't as... obsessed.
Yuffie kicked open the door to Cid's house, as per usual. She kicked it closed behind her and snuck past the sleeping man in the armchair and stuck her pizza in the fridge. She smiled and grabbed a sharpie off the counter, creeping up to the slumbering, unaware Cid as she began her work of art.
-
"YUFFIE!"
Yuffie snickered and hid on the top shelf of the linen closet in Cid's hall next to the bathroom. Cid had woken up five minutes ago, went to the bathroom, and then promptly screamed her name out in anger. The blond haired man was now decorated in dicks, with a mustache and unibrow courtesy of the Great Ninja (and artist) Yuffie Kisaragi.
An hour later, Cid grunted and yelled out that he was going to work, so Yuffie slid down to the floor and slunk out of the closet.
"Heh, I just came out of the closet," she said, chuckling. She shook her head and went to the fridge to eat some more of her pizza. She pulled out the receipt and typed the number into her phone, under Kairi Babeofpizzahut. She glanced at the clock and winced. "Why am I up right now? It's not afternoon," she said, shaking her head. "Man oh man, this business with Tifa musta messed up my thermal clock or something."
"Internal clock?"
Yuffie jumped, letting out a screech. She turned around, hand gripping her chest, to see Riku at the table, doing whatever a Riku does at a table in Cid's house. She stared blankly at him for a few minutes before chucking her phone at his head.
He looked at her phone. "Kairi Babeofpizzahut?" He said, eyebrow raised. "Forgive me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure her last name is Ayers, but alright then."
Yuffie darted over to the silver haired boy and took his white hoody in her fists. "You... know Kairi?" She asked, devilish grin spreading over her face.
"Red hair, purple-ish blue eyes, real cute, great body?"
Yuffie nodded enthusiastically.
"Yeah, you could say I know her," he said, smirking. "I know Kairi really well."
"How well is really well?"
Riku winked.
Yuffie felt her jaw drop. "ah, but you- she and-hhhhuuuuhhh?"
Riku stared at her a second before bursting out laughing. "I'm kidding, Yuffie. I've known Kairi since we were little kids. She dated Sora for four years."
Yuffie felt like a fish, opening and closing her mouth as she made the connection. "You and Sora...Sora cheated on her with you? Why would he want to do that? Kairi's like the hottest girl ever! You don't even come close to her hotness on the hotscale! Out of ten she's like a two-hundred bajillion!"
Riku winced. "Yuffie, calm down."
Yuffie shut up, and started shaking the silverette violently.
Riku looked frazzled by the time she was done with her freak out. "Yuffie, are you ready to hear what I have to say?"
Yuffie nodded.
"Good," he said, nodding. "Yuffie, you know how you like girls?" She nodded enthusiastically. "You see, Kairi is in denial. Me and Sora already know she's a lesbian, our gaydars are always going off around her. And you know what that means?"
"Operation turn Kairi into a ninja?"
Riku shook his head. "No, Yuffie. Operation get Kairi to realize her passionate feelings of lust towards other women."
Yuffie's brows furrowed. "That's a lot of words, Riku."
"Operation Get in Kairi's Pants."
Yuffie's face lit up in understanding. "Okay, wanna hear my plan?" Riku nodded, smirking. "So, I'll call her up, and we'll go to the fair, you, me, Sora, and her, like a double date. Then, when it's night, we'll watch the fireworks on top of the Ferris Wheel-me and her, not you and me, that'd be weird-and then we'll kiss passionately under the night sky and go home and have sex." She said, making wild gestures as she explained her plan.
"Sounds good. Just...keep in mind that outside of Sora, she's never dated before, so...she's kinda innocent. You don't have to get in her pants right away, that'd be cruel and unusual plotting from her best friend."
"Okay...so she'll keep her pants on if she wants...I'm not gonna force her, gosh, Riku. I'm not you."
Riku smacked the back of her head and left.
"Uhh, bye?" She called after him, shrugged, and grabbed her phone. She scrolled to Kairi's number and pressed call.
"Hello?"
"Kairi?"
"Yes, who is this?"
"Uh so I was talking to Riku and he wanted to do like a double date thing but I don't have a date so I was wondering if you'd go with me to the fair with him and Sora and please say yes or I'll cry and he'll make fun of me," she said, ignoring the question she'd been asked.
"Um, if you tell me who this is, I'll go?"
Yuffie let out a happy squeal. "So we'll pick you up at noon, okay?"
"Wait, you gotta tell me your name!"
"Thank you! Bye!"
"Wai-" Yuffie closed the phone and danced around the kitchen, singing "I got a date with Kairi" repetitively.
Her phone went off, blasting 'Guy Love' from scrubs. Curious, she answered it. "Hellllooooo?"
"You hung up with me without giving me your name," Kairi said, sounding mildly irritated.
Yuffie blinked and scoffed. "Why, it is I, the Great Ninja, Yuffie Kisaragi!" She said, striking a pose even though she was on the phone and alone in Cid's kitchen.
Kairi let out a giggle. "You're so silly. Were you really that nervous, Yuffie?"
Yuffie felt herself drool at the sound of her giggle. "So...cute..." She gasped, before wiping the drool off her face and going back to the conversation. "Oh, uh, what? Nervous? Me? Puuhhh-leaaaseeeee. The Great Ninja Yuffie does not get nervous," she said, and then in a quieter voice, said; "Okay so maybe I was a little excited..."
Kairi giggled again. "So you know Riku and Sora?"
Yuffie stared at the kitchen tiles. "Yeah, and Riku implied he did naughty things with you and then told me you broke his gaydar."
"Wha-? That liar! I'm going to beat his ass-" Kairi paused, and Yuffie heard a door open. "Sora! Tell your boyfriend he better watch his back!" Kairi sighed, and closed the door. "Sorry... Riku's always saying stuff like that."
"Really? Well... you know what they say. The customer is always right."
"Riku doesn't eat pizza."
"Oh. Well. Err. I have to go mess with Cid's stuff, so...I'll see you tomorrow at noon."
"Oh... okay. Bye then, Yuffie!" Kairi said, sounding a bit sad.
"Bye, Kai-kai!" Yuffie said, and hung up.