It wasn't that Anthony DiNozzo had never had his life threatened. In his work as a cop and an NCIS agent, he'd had guns pulled on him many times. He'd been abducted, beaten, threatened with death enough times to have qualified him as an action hero in one of his movies.
But, Professor Anthony DiNardo had led a life free of such violence, or so he'd led Jeanne to believe. In the morgue, however, all his old instincts had kicked in. Although he knew he had no other choice, he'd blown his cover in a major way. Everything about his behavior from the moment they stood outside the morgue door had screamed cop, and he couldn't figure out why Jeanne hadn't seen it. She was too smart to miss it. Unless, it was something she didn't want to see.
While he waited for the other shoe to fall with Jeanne, there was no waiting involved at NCIS. Jen had explained things to the team, but it hadn't helped. Ziva seemed most relieved by the fact that his seemingly endless doctors' appointments had not been due to the fact he was battling a terminal illness, just bad excuses. She was the only one.
Over the following days, Tony became more and more aware of Gibbs' eyes upon him. He'd been headslapped once upon his return. The pain came as a relief, but it was to be short-lived. In the following days, Gibbs barely spoke to Tony except when it was necessary, choosing instead to lean more heavily on Ziva and McGee. Ziva took naturally to the new role, following her leader as she'd always done. For McGee, it was more difficult. Tony caught the younger agent watching him out of the corner of his eye often now, and the hurt in McGeek's eyes was obvious even as he moved out of the probie role he'd held since he arrived at NCIS.
He wanted to scream at them all that he hadn't wanted this, that when the Director of NCIS asks for your help, you fall in line like a good little soldier. Of all of them, he'd thought Gibbs would understand, but apparently not. When he couldn't take it anymore, Tony decided to find out what was going on. He waited until the others had left, then advanced on Gibbs' desk, feeling like a condemned man.
"You got a minute?"
Gibbs looked up at DiNozzo. "For what?"
"Why have you been treating me like crap?"
Gibbs' exprssion remained unchanged. "I haven't been treating you like crap, DiNozzo."
Tony couldn't believe what he was hearing. His boss, no his friend, was abandoning him for a second time, and here he was acting like nothing was wrong. "Then why have you been leaving me out? I'm the senior agent here, not Ziva or McGee."
Gibbs watched him for a moment. "Because, I need a senior agent I can trust. One who works for me, and not the Director."
He was so calm, as if they were talking about the weather, which only served to infuriate DiNozzo more. Before he could stop himself, his hand had balled into a fist and he was doing his best to fight the urge to punch Gibbs square in the face. "You really are a son-of-a-bitch, you know that?"
"If you're going to hit me, DiNozzo, then just do it. It's not going to change anything. You made your choice, and now you have to live with it."
"It was an undercover operation! Has it been so long since you were out in the field you've forgotten the rules? It was a need to know basis, and you didn't need to know. I think that's what really bugs you, that you got left out for once in your life." Anger flared behind Gibbs' eyes, and Tony knew he'd stepped over a line. But he'd meant every word.
"I think you've forgotten the rule, DiNozzo. Never screw over your partner. You abandoned your team to play the Director's games."
"I wouldn't be the one to talk about abandoning teams, Gibbs."
"Get out. Or I will throw you out myself."
"I'll see myself out, thanks." As Tony walked away, he was surprised that he managed to stay up since he was shaking so badly. As the elevator doors closed behind him, he wondered if this would be the last time.
He was startled when his phone rang, and he eyed it as if it as a snake just waiting to bite him. Was it Gibbs, calling to say that he was fired and not to bother ever coming back? When the caller ID showed Jeanne's phone number, he stared at it as if seeing it for the first time. He really didn't want to talk to her now, but he owed her that much. With a heavy sigh, he flipped open the phone.
"Hello.."
"Tony, we need to talk. Can you come by my place?"
"Yeah, sure. But why--" Before he could finish his sentence, she'd hung up. This was not a good sign.
Ten minutes later, he stood outside her door. Taking a deep breath, he knocked on the door.
"It's unlocked."
He pushed open the door, and Jeanne was sitting on the couch watching him. She'd been crying and he wanted to hug her.
"Stay there.."
"Jeanne, what's wrong?"
"What's wrong?" She laughed bitterly. "I love a man I know nothing about, who's lied to me about everything he ever told me. Who are you really, Tony? Tell me."
"It's complicated."
"Are you a cop? Because that shit you pulled at the morgue was not very professorlike."
He shrugged and gave his best 'aw shucks' look. "I like a lot of action movies, what can I say?"
She glared at him. "Don't patronize me. You handled that situation like a pro. At least show me that much respect."
He couldn't help it, and smiled just a tiny bit. She was very smart. "I'm sorry, Jeanne. I was undercover, yes."
"Undercover for what? That doesn't make any sense."
"I can't tell you."
"I can't trust you if you can't tell me what's going on!" She stood up from the couch, walked over, and slapped him hard across the face. "I-I want to trust you.." Her voice cracked, and she stood willing him to tell her what she desperately needed to know.
But, he couldn't tell her. Not because he'd sworn to the Director, not because she'd hate him for the rest of his life if he did, but because no child ever needs to find out what a bastard her father is.
"So, it was all a job...I was just part of the job for you. No wonder you wouldn't say you loved me." She turned her back to him, and he watched as her body began to shake with silent sobs.
Her words nearly broke his heart. He loved Jeanne more than he'd loved anybody, and every day it killed him to know what this would do to her when it was all over.
"No..it was never just a job with you. I do love you." Taking her arm, he gently pulled her backward. As she turned back to face him, her face was wet with tears. "I wish I could believe you. I think you should leave and never come back." Then, she wrenched her arm free and stood there waiting for him to leave.
"Goodbye, Jeanne."
"Goodbye."
Rejected twice in one night by two of the most important people in his life. Maybe there wasn't a point in coming in to work tomorrow after all.
As he pulled into the parking lot of his apartment building, he was surprised to see a familiar hearse parked at the end of the lot. When he arrived at his apartment, the door was open and Abby was standing there waiting for him. "Hey, Tony!"
"How'd you get in here?"
"Legal answer, I had a key. Truth, I had a lockpick." She looked him over. "You look terrible."
"I feel terrible."
Taking him by the arm, she guided Tony into the apartment, sitting him on the couch, where she plopped down beside him. "What happened?" She was obvioulsy concerned, and he patted her leg in a comforting gesture.
"Not much...just had Gibbs and Jeanne tell me they can't trust me anymore, in the same night. I mean, I was expecting it from her, but I thought Gibbs would understand." Abby knew things had been hard for Tony since word of his undercover work had hit NCIS, but the last time she'd seen him this upset, he was accused of murder. The worst part was, this time, she couldn't do anything about it.
"Oh, Tony." Pushing him back against the couch, she lay against him, putting her arm over his chest. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. Let's just watch a movie."
"I don't know if I feel like watching a movie, Abby." But, she had planned for such a contingency. As she hit Play, the opening notes of 'The Longest Day' filled the apartment.
"Just twenty minutes..if you still don't feel like watching, we can do something else. I promise."
"Ok.." By the end of the movie, Tony was feeling a little bit better. "Hey, Abby?"
"Yes, Tony?"
"Why aren't you mad at me like everyone else?"
She frowned. "They're not mad. Ziva's glad you're not dying. McGee doesn't know what to think because on one hand he's glad not to be the probie anymore, but on the other hand, he feels like he's betraying you and he feels guilty."
Tony quirked an eyebrow. "He told you that?"
Abby nodded. "He tells me everything."
"And you?"
"I'm glad you didn't get hurt." She paused, realizing the error in her statement. "Physically, I mean."
"You're a good friend, Abby.."
"You'd do the same for me."
Tony smiled. "I just wish I knew what to do about Gibbs." Just then, Tony's phone rang. "Speak of the devil." Tony answered the phone, as his gut clenched.
"Hello?"
"Don't think you're getting out of work tomorrow, DiNozzo. I expect to see you there."
"Yes, boss."
"Good night, DiNozzo." Then, Gibbs hung up. Tony sighed in relief.
"Well??" Abby pressed.
"He wants me at work tomorrow."
"See, I told you things would work out."
And maybe, just maybe they would.