Again, those of you at the Danny Phantom Message Board and Nickdisk know me as zDBZ. I came up with the idea for this story when "Information Stupor Highway" came out, and I wrote it this February.
---
Timmy is an average kid
that no one understands.
Mom & Dad and Vicky always giving him commands.
(Vicky): Bed twerp!
The doom and gloom up in his room
is broken instantly.
By his magic little fish,
They grant his every wish 'cause in reality,
they are his Oddparents!
Fairly Oddparents
(Wanda): Wands and wings
(Cosmo):Floaty crowny things
Oddparents! Fairly Odd parents
Real mod, peapod, buff bod, hot rod
(Timmy):obtuse, rubber goose, green moose, guava juice, giant snake, birthday cake, large fries, chocolate shake!
Oddparents, Fairly Oddparents
it flips your lid when you are the kid with Fairly Oddparents!
(Vicky):Yeah right!
POP!
(Vicky's head becomes Trixie Tang's head)
THE TRUTH ABOUT TRIXIE TANG!
Timmy Turner sat in his usual bus seat with Chester and AJ, Elmer and Sanjay behind them. It was going to be another boring day at a boring school with a boring insane teacher rambling with boring discussions on fairy godparents.
"Announcing the arrival of Trixie Tang," the bus driver said over the bus's intercom, "Please cheer and act like her slaves so her mother will continue to provide me with ridiculously high wages," Trixie walked into the bus.
"WE'RE NOT WORTHY!" everyone yelled. Except Timmy, whose eyes had become hearts and whose brain didn't have anything in it but thoughts of Trixie. Maybe TODAY he'd get her to notice him.
"Hi Trixie!" Timmy had planned to say it, but Tad and Chad beat him to it.
"Hey Trixie," Veronica echoed, "Ohmigosh! Are THOSE the totally hip, new, and desirable S.L.E.E.K. boots!?"
"They are," Trixie smiled, "They're sold out now, but my parents had mine saved months in advance."
"I am SO happy for you!" Veronica smiled, before ducking, looking both ways, and throwing a fit, "AND ENVIOUS! I – WANT – TO – BE – YOU!"
---
At lunch, Timmy sat at a table with Chester, AJ, Elmer, and Sanjay. The four latter ones took bites out of their sandwiches together in perfect rhythm. Timmy, however, was more interested in Trixie. He was about to talk to her when Veronica spoke first.
"Trixie! Over here!" Trixie walked over to their table.
"My parents said we could throw a party at my yacht this Saturday," Chad bragged.
"I'll be there," Trixie got her sly grin again and began to eat.
---
In class, Mr. Crocker looked even more bored and unhappy than usual.
"Well, students," he opened the blinds, "it's February, although since we live in California and there isn't any sign of snow on the ground, you could never tell. To the point, since it's February, the month that Valentine's Day is in, I'm required by the school board to teach you all about love. So let's begin. LOVE STINKS!" he got an insane grin now, "We have a perfect example here in our classroom! Everyone, take a good look at Mr. Turner here. Does everyone agree he has gigantic teeth?" everyone nodded, "Does everyone agree he has a silly pink hat?" everyone nodded, "Does everyone agree he's one of the least popular boys in school?" everyone nodded, "Does everyone agree he has FAIRY GOD-PARENTS!" no one agreed, "What a surprise," Crocker hissed, "Now look at Ms. Tang. She's beautiful, filthy rich, completely modern, perfectly happy, and worshiped by everyone within Dimmsdale due to her insane popularity! Except me, as I could care less about that. Now, Turner has a maddening love for Ms. Tang, and is rejected on a regular basis. Why? Because...LOVE STINKS! Who would want to go out with someone as pathetically miserable and unpopular as Turner! Nobody! See, see, SEE?! LOVE STINKS!" Crocker broke into a maniacal laugh while Timmy's face changed to show his depression.
---
After school, Timmy was heading home when he overheard Trixie talking with Tad, Chad, and Veronica.
"I can't believe Mr. Crocker would actually use you in an example of one of his boring ramblings!" Veronica was saying, "and in the same context as Timmy Turner even!"
"It should be against the law for any kids who read comic books and have silly pink hats to be mentioned in the same paragraph as people like us!" Chad shouted.
"I know," Trixie sighed, "Both Crocker and Turner have been a headache for me all year. Well, I've got to be going. Come, gigantic man whom my parents pay to serve as the bodyguard for us popular kids," she walked away with the giant guy following her. Timmy sighed and slumped against the tree. Cosmo and Wanda, who were his book and pencil, noticed his sad mood.
"Aw, what's wrong, sweetie?" Wanda asked in a motherly voice.
"Yeah," Cosmo said, "You look like something the cat chewed up and spit out, the rabbit hopped over, the rooster blew up with dynamite, and the road runner scared off a cliff!" he saw Wanda glaring at him, "What, too literal?"
"Ah, guys," Timmy sighed, "I don't think I'm ever gonna get Trixie to like me. I'm just not good enough for her."
"What?" Wanda smiled, "Don't put yourself down like that, sport. I'm sure if you would just be herself and treat her like a person instead of just a girl, you'd manage. It worked last time until she realised that the two of you were at her birthday party where all her friends could see you! Just do it when no one's around? Why wouldn't Trixie like you then?"
"Yeah! Besides the buck teeth, and the silly pink hat, and the low popularity, and the short height, you're cool!"
"It's hopeless," Timmy got even more depressed thanks to Cosmo's stupidity.
"Ah, come on, Timmy," Wanda said after giving Cosmo a glare, "You know Trixie has a tomboyish, sensitive side to her. She has a secret, just like you do!"
"Yeah! Yours is us, and hers is an obsession with guy stuff such as comic books and video games!"
"And when since her birthday have I seen her with a comic book?" Timmy demanded, "I've seen her plenty of times when no one else was around to her knowledge and she wasn't doing any boy stuff. For all we know, it was just a phase she went through and she's done with it by now! Let's face it guys. Crocker was right; I'm hopeless," he walked away sadly, leaving Cosmo and Wanda on the ground for them to poof to his room.
---
Later that night, Timmy was looking at the framed picture he had of Trixie, still depressed. Cosmo and Wanda were fish in the fishbowl.
"TIMMY!" Timmy's dad barged in with a goofy grin on his face, "Son, come on downstairs! I've invited the Dingleburgs over, and as you know, every Turner in our bloodline have been Dimmsdale's best inventors of horrible, dangerous inventions! We're going to humiliate the Dingleburgs by giving them dangerous inventions, photographing them, modify the pictures with the latest technology," he pulled out glue, "and have them arrested for threatening the lives of innocent children! Like you!" his smile got even wider, but Timmy's mood didn't change. He went back to staring at his picture.
"Not now, dad," he sighed.
"Timmy? What's wrong, son? Normally you're at least somewhat enthusiastic when I come up with a horribly thought-out plan in my ongoing battle against the Dingleburgs!" there was a pause, "Hey, what's that? E-GAD! You have a picture of Trixie Tang! How in the world did you get this? The Turner family has always been one of the five least popular families in Dimmsdale! We'd never get a picture like this legally!"
"Internet."
"Works for me! Now, what's wrong, son?"
"Well, you see, I..."
"Wait, wait, wait! Don't tell me! YOU have a crush on TRIXIE and SHE won't date YOU because YOU'RE a GEEK! Am I right?"
"Yes," Timmy sighed. His dad started laughing before patting Timmy on the head and sitting down on the bed.
"Ah, son," he said, "Let me tell you a story about something that happened to me when I was a boy. You sure you want to hear it? Its got flashbacks to my childhood!"
"I'll listen to anything if it'll cheer me up."
"Good! And in exchange, you have to come down and help me DESTROY THE DINGLEBURGS!" Timmy agreed, "Great! You see, Timmy, back when I was your age in the 1970s, the school (beyond all the peace and love hippie stuff of the time) wasn't that different. Trixie's mom was the most popular girl in school. Your mom was the second-most popular girl in school, and was dating Dingleburg. He and Tad and Chad's fathers were the most popular guys at school. Now, I wasn't very popular, because quite frankly, I was just plain stupid back then!"
"And the difference between him being stupid then and him being stupid now is...?" Cosmo whispered to Wanda.
"I was friends with Chester's dad, Bucky," Timmy's dad continued, "He was also unpopular. Why? Two reasons; he had braces, and even back then, was the worst baseball player EVER! We were friends with AJ's dad, who was unpopular because he was bald! We were friends with Elmer's dad, who was unpopular because of his boil, and we were friends with Sanjay's dad, who was unpopular because of his glasses. Now, I had a crush on your mom, but I was unpopular, and she was popular. Didn't quite work out. Now, I knew that your mom was in secret being nice to us unpopular kids. Me in particular, due to that whole threatmantic letter I wrote her. I knew that if I wanted her to be my girlfriend, though, I would need to blackmail her with something real! I had the whole hanging out with unpopular kids thing, but I needed something more....
FLASHBACK (In script form!)
TIMMY'S DAD: (Sees popular kids laughing and Dingleburg and Mom hugging, and gets angry look on face) Dingleburg...(gets hit in the head with a baseball)
BUCKY MCBADBAT: Dad? You OK?
TIMMY'S DAD: (Jumps to his feet) I've never felt better, Bucky! That hit on the head thanks to your pathetic baseball skills just gave my a totally groovy idea! You work for the school paper, right?
BUCKY MCBADBAT: Right, man.
TIMMY'S DAD: If I was helping you to get a totally exciting story for that paper, would that let me use the 1st Amendment to violate Mom's privacy and get a story that I can blackmail her with so she'd be my girlfriend?
(Bucky looks at AJ's dad.)
AJ'S DAD: I don't think it says you can't...
BUCKY MCBADBAT: Then it's settled! Dad, buddy, you go out there, get yourself a girl, and find me a story I can put in the paper the second she slips out of line! (they shake hands)
END OF FLASHBACK (Back to story form!)
"So I snuck into her house after school in order to get some good blackmailing info," Timmy's dad continued, "and as it turns out, her mom was a Congressman! Or Congresswomen. The point was, she was a Republican member of the government! They were considered lemmings back then, and LEMMINGS WEREN'T POPULAR! So..."
"So you blackmailed Mom, fell in love, got married, had me, and lived happily ever after?" Timmy asked quickly.
"Actually, no," his dad said after a pause, "You know that big guy who guards the popular kids?"
"Yeah. He beats me up all the time!"
"Well, when he was a kid, he had the same job, and beat me up all the time too! Anyway, he was over at your mom's that day and found me. Then he pounded me. He crushed me. I had the living daylights beaten right out of me! All possible evidence I could have used to prove that my information was true was utterly destroyed! Bucky and I stayed friends, but he was pretty sore for a while for my blowing his chance on having a great story in reserve for when needed. Your mom and I didn't get together until March 15, 1982! All because I had lousy spying skills! Good thing you get taught how to spy in gym class now!" Timmy thought for a second, and then smiled.
"Thanks, dad!" he hugged him, "I get your point!"
"Huh? Point? Timmy, there wasn't a point to that story! I just told it to show you how lousy I was at romance when I was your age to make you feel better! Do you think I really expect you to get the idea to spy on Trixie and blackmail her into being your girlfriend? You are happy now, aren't you?"
"Sure am, Dad!"
"Good! Now let's go downstairs and DESTROY THE DINGLEBURGS!"
"YEAH! But could you give me a minute or two alone in my room? I need to think some things over."
"Sure thing son, but don't take too long!" he ran back downstairs. Timmy looked at Cosmo and Wanda.
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
"That your dad spent too much time loathing the Dingleburgs and trying to get your mom to like him when he was at school?" Cosmo asked.
"Well, that too, but I'm gonna totally ignore my dad's belief about his story having no point and spy on Trixie! I'll get something big and use it to blackmail her into being my girlfriend!"
"Timmy, blackmail is illegal," Wanda pointed out, "and there's no way you can get past the external security of the Tang mansion, let alone that large bodyguard!"
"That's where you two come in," he crossed his arms, "and as for the legal issues..."
---
"So here's the plan guys," Timmy was talking to Chester and AJ after school, "Thanks to the Internet, I now have the necessary technology to get past the security of the Tang mansion. If I'm doing it to help you guys with your job on the school newspaper, I can use the 1st Amendment to violate Trixie's privacy and blackmail her into being my girlfriend! Then you guys have an exciting, truthful story to put in the paper any time she dumps me!"
"You got that idea from what our dads did when they were our age, didn't you?" AJ looked at him, obviously not considering this a good idea.
"Your dad wasn't involved..."
"And I love living recklessly like our fathers did and not having to do any work for a great new story!" Chester shouted, "Timmy, you got yourself a deal!" they shook on it.
---
Timmy was hiding in the bushes just outside the Tang mansion after school. He watched Trixie walk in the gate and up to the house, followed by the gigantic guy. Cosmo and Wanda were hiding with him.
"Ok, guys," he whispered, "I'll need a couple things. I wish I was invisible again, I wish Cosmo was an invisible watch that jammed all security systems and things that could detect me, I wish Wanda was an invisible backpack full of every invisible thing an invisible spy would need, and I wish all the windows, doors, and gates in the entire house were unlocked and nobody noticed or cared!" Cosmo and Wanda smiled, raised their wands, and granted Timmy his wish. They all became invisible, Cosmo became Timmy's watch, and Wanda became Timmy's backpack. Timmy threw a rock to distract the guards at the gate and entered the Tang mansion grounds.
He'd been there before when he was at Trixie's birthday party, but that had been a while ago, and he hadn't gone anywhere besides the living room. Trixie was no where in sight. A short bald guy with glasses was reading, and Timmy guessed that was Trixie's dad. Some security was walking around, but no sign of Trixie.
"Now where could she be?" Timmy said to himself quietly. He was almost crushed when some security men came downstairs and dropped a huge stack of comic books on the floor. Behind them was a women dressed in purple and who looked like Trixie, but taller and older.
"AGAIN!?" she cried, "Oh, how many times must I...never mind. Just get rid of them before she notices I..."
"MOM!" Timmy moved behind a chair to avoid getting trampled over. He knew that was Trixie's voice. She came running down the stairs and was caught by security. She looked at her mom pleadingly, "Mom, please! Not again! Just this once can't I..."
"I'm sorry dear," her mother shook her head, "but it's for your own good."
"How is destroying anything I like because you don't find it interesting at all good for me!?"
"Well..." her mom was stumbling in her words, "It...it...uh, dear?" she smiled nervously at her husband.
"Now honey," he said, "I think that Trixie does have the right to keep these things if she..."
"QUIET!"
"Yes, dear."
"Trixie, it's just...it's just..."
"Just what?" Trixie demanded, "Not good enough for you? Not sophisticated enough for you!?"
"No! Well, actually...Trixie, I think it would be best for you to be the perfect image of a popular girl your whole life, and getting into such filthy, un-popular habits such as this is not good for a girl of your class."
"Well maybe you don't know what's best for me!" Trixie shouted, and Timmy had to agree.
"I'm your mother!"
"Like you've even bothered to get to know me my entire life! You're too busy hosting parties and bragging about all our family's trophies and getting your hair and nails done!"
"I've taken you along when I get my hair and nails done! You've never said you didn't like that before!"
"I'm an 11-year old girl, mother! Of course I like all of those things! I'll probably always like them! But why can't you just accept that I like boy stuff!?"
"Trixie, what if your friends find out about..."
"How can they!? Security's the only people who know where I hide them!"
"Anything could be possible! There could be a small unpopular boy who's found a way to cloak himself listening in on our conversation at this very moment, planning on blackmailing you into being his girlfriend!" Timmy looked guilty.
"Now look who's gone crazy."
"All right, that's a ridiculous example, but you're missing the point! I won't have my daughter being such a commoner!"
"Now dear!" Trixie's dad jumped out of his chair, "You may be doing this because you believe it's in our daughter's best interest, and that's all fine and good, but you are going too far! Trixie has the right to like what she wants, and you have no business..."
"Quiet, Nigel!" Trixie's mom snapped.
"Yes dear."
"Now then," Trixie's mother looked her straight in the eye, "is there any more of these things I should know about?"
"N...no?" Trixie smiled nervously.
"Go up and search her room again!" her mom commanded security, but Trixie got free and raced up to her room first.
"Come on guys," Timmy climbed out a window, "I saw a tree that lets us see into her bedroom. We gotta move fast!" he threw the tape recorder he had used to record the entire conversation back in the "Wanda-pack," but at the moment blackmail was the last thing on his mind. He got up in time to see Trixie struggling to get free from one of the guards while two others broke open a chest that was set on her bed. Inside were more comics, some video games, two VHS tapes that had special Crash Nebula episodes on them, and the Catman movie with Adam West.
"Take it out with the rest of it," her mom commanded, and Security did so. Trixie looked like she was about to burst into tears. She grabbed her mom's feet before she could walk out the door.
"Mom, please," she begged, "Every year for the past five years you do this to me! Just this once can't I..."
"Trixie, they're only material possessions," the hypocrisy of her words was unbelievable; she threw an even bigger fit if something she owned got lost; but she did have a point...for a brief moment.
"It's not just that!" Trixie had started to cry, "You've kept me from making friends, going places, having fun and being happy just so I can stay popular!"
"Trixie, one day you'll thank me for it, dear," her mom got her legs free and walked out the door. Trixie just stared after her for a moment, then crawled into bed and burst into tears. Timmy was still out on the tree. He had seen everything. He had taken out a camera to tape it all. But he wasn't worried about that.
"I can't believe it..." he whispered.
"Me neither!" Cosmo smiled, "It's the story of the century! 'Trixie Tang controlled by evil mother who has no clue what's good for her daughter!' You'll get her as your girlfriend for sure, Timmy! And think of the story Chester and AJ can turn that into!"
"No, you idiot! It's not about that! Look at her," he pointed to Trixie, "she looks so miserable. There's no way I could take advantage of something like this. It'd be even worse for her if the school found out. Her mom would totally kill her! If I threatened to tell everyone about this just so she'd pay attention to me, then I really wouldn't be good enough for her. I'd be a total jerk. I just wish there was something I could do for her. Wait a minute," he snapped his fingers, "That's it! Cosmo, Wanda, I wish Trixie had fairy godparents!"
"Uh, Timmy," Wanda said, "You can't wish for other kids to have fairy godparents. It's against Da Rules. But I am surprised she doesn't already have fairy godparents. If things have been as bad as they are for five years, she should have gotten godparents long ago!"
"Wait. Could I take this matter to Fairy Court?"
"I know where this is going!" Cosmo put on a false moustache and a fedora.
"To Fairy World!" Timmy shouted.
"Maybe I don't know where this is going," they were out of there in a flash.