``Hey, Santana. Earth to Santana``, Puck almost shouts at the girl. ``Are you going to help us or are you just going to sit there day dreaming? ``, he asks sounding impatient. ``These songs aren't going to write themselves you know``, he states. The gang had decided to move down to the lobby of the hotel, to try and write songs for the competition. Somebody had suggested singing My Cup as their opening number, which was met with a deafening no from the rest of the group. Well everyone apart from Brittany that is.
Santana shakes her head, coming out from her day dream. ``For your information, Noah, I have more important things to be thinking about, instead of writing a stupid song, okay! ``, she says with a serious look on her face. She scans the lobby looking for a particular blonde haired girl, but she is nowhere to be seen. ``Where's Brittany? ``, she asks, a look of concern on her face.
``Jeez, what is your deal Lopez? You've been acting bitchier than normal today. Are you PMS Ing? ``, Puck asks, clearly not interested in Santana's answer. ``Oh and Brittany left a while ago, she said something about going back to the room because she was feeling sick. You girls and your hormones``, he says rolling his eyes.
``Yes, I'm PMS Ing, that's totally my biggest worry right now``, Santana says with a sarcastic tone. ``You really have no idea about girls``, she scoffs at Puck. ``I'm going back to the room, you guys are boring and you suck``, she announces to the group, before standing up and heading for the lift.
The truth is, she was really worried about Brittany. She was so caught up in her day dreaming, that she didn't even notice the blonde leaving. Although their friendship had been strained these last few weeks, Santana still cared deeply for Brittany, and if she is sick Santana wants to be there to look after her. No matter what, they are still best friends regardless of what they have been through.
Santana stands in front of the door to the room, which all the girls have been sharing since they got to New York. She puts her key card in the door, and slowly opens it. She quietly walks into the room, and closes the door behind her as quietly as she can. She thinks Brittany might be sleeping, she is feeling sick after all, so Santana really doesn't want to wake her up. Santana would love nothing more than to cuddle up beside the blonde in the bed, the way they used to when they were both younger and one of them was sick. Oh how Santana wishes things could be that easy and simple again, but then again love is never easy. Santana turns the corner to where the bed is, and to her surprize she finds Brittany sitting on the bed, with her legs crossed and balls of paper littering the bed.
Brittany looks up at Santana, with unshed tears in her eyes. ``Hey Santana``, she barley chokes out. ``What are you doing here? I thought you were helping Puck to write a song for Nationals``, she asks with a look of confusion on her face. ``Are you okay? Did something happen?`` , she says worriedly.
Seeing the tears in Brittany's eyes, Santana walks over and sits on the bed beside her. ``Hey Britt, how are you feeling? Puck told me you were feeling sick and I just wanted to check and make sure you were okay``, she says with a soft expression on her face. Santana locks eyes with Brittany, ``hey, why are you crying? Do I need to get a doctor for you? And what's with all the paper?``. Santana is really starting to worry now.
``I'm not sick Santana, I just needed some space. I… um… I had an idea for a song, but I didn't want to share it with everybody else. And I have been trying to write it down since I came up here, but it never felt perfect. I think I got it now though``, she says with a sigh. Brittany pulls the note pad up her chest and holds onto it tightly. ``I don't think it would be a good song for Nationals, though``, she says with a heavy heart. Santana tucks a stray strand of Brittany's hair behind her ear, and holds out her hand ``why don't you let me be the judge of that``, she says with a smile. ``Well okay, but please don't get mad, promise?``. ``I promise``, Santana says confused. She takes the note pad from Brittany and begins to read it silently.
Face To Face and Heart To Heart
We're So Close yet So Far Apart
I Close My Eyes
I Look Away
That's Just Because I'm Not Okay
But I Hold On
I Stay Strong
Wondering If We Still Belong
By now Santana's eyes are filling up, making the words on the piece of paper look blurry. She shakes the tears away and continues reading.
Will We Ever
Say The Words We're Feeling
Reach Down Underneath
And Tear Down All The Walls
Will We Ever
Have A Happy Ending
Or Will We Forever
Only Be Pretending
Will We A-A-A-Always A-A-A-Always A-A-A-Always Be Pretending
Santana is now fully crying, her tears falling on the note pad. She knows the song is about her and Brittany, and she realizes just how much this whole situation is hurting the blonde. She never thought for one second that Brittany was hurting this much, but the proof is right there before her eyes, written on an A4 sheet of paper in blue ink.
``Santana, please don't cry. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to upset you``, she whispers into the girls ear as she hugs her tightly. ``I just wanted to write a song about us and how I feel, but I'm sorry I wrote it now because you're upset and that's the last thing I wanted``.
Santana pulls away from the hug, and locks her eyes with Brittany's ``don't ever be sorry Britt, you have every right to express your feelings. I'm the one who's sorry, for not asking you how you feel sooner. I just didn't realize``, she exhales, placing a hand on Brittany's cheek. ``But this is a really good song, we should definitely use it for Nationals``, she says with a smile.
Brittany places her hand over Santana's on her cheek with a smile. ``But it's not finished, I only had that much written when you came in. I think it still needs a couple more verses, don't you?`` she asks Santana sincerely. ``Maybe I could ask Rachel to finish it, she's good at writing songs. Remember Get It Right, I really liked that song and Rachel wrote it so I'm sure she could finish this one`` Brittany says, getting up from the bed, note pad in hand to bring it to Rachel in the lobby.
``Wait``, Santana says, catching Brittany's wrist, ``let me try?, I know Trouty Mouth was a disaster but that was just for fun. If you don't think what I write is any good then you can bring it to Rachel, but at least give me a chance, please?`` she pleads with the other girl. Brittany hands the note pad to Santana, ``I was going to ask if you wanted to help me write it, but I thought you would say no. So yes you can try, I'm so happy`` she says hugging Santana tightly.
Santana makes her way over to sit at the table in the corner of the room. She sits down, while quietly staring at Brittany and how perfect and adorable she is. One day she is going to marry that girl, but right now a song needs to be written. And oddly enough, Santana knows exactly what she wants to say.
How Long Do I Fantasize
Make Believe That It's Still Alive
Imagine That I Am Good Enough
And We Can Choose The One's We Love
But I Hold On, I Stay Strong
Wondering If We Still Belong
Will We Ever
Say The Words We're Feeling
Reach Down Underneath
And Tear Down All The Walls
Will We Ever
Have A Happy Ending
Or Will We Forever
Only Be Pretending
Will We A-A-A-Always A-A-A-Always A-A-A-Always Be
Keeping Secrets Safe
Every Move We Make
Seems Like No One's Letting Go
And it's Such A Shame
Cause If You Feel The Same
How Am I Supposed To Know
Will We Ever
Say The Words We're Feeling
Reach Down Underneath
And Tear Down All The Walls
Will We Ever
Have A Happy Ending
Or Will We Forever
Only Be Pretending
Will We A-A-A-Always A-A-A-Always A-A-A-Always Be (pretending)
Will We A-A-A-Always A-A-A-Always A-A-A-Always Be (pretending)
Will We A-A-A-Always A-A-A-Always A-A-A-Always Be (pretending)
Tears have started to roll down Santana's face, and it hasn't gone un noticed by Brittany. Santana stands up from where she was sitting at the table, walks over to Brittany who is sitting on the bed and hands her the note pad without saying a word. The blonde takes the pad and begins to read, while Santana paces the room nervously. Brittany's opinion is the only one that really matters to her at the end of the day.
When Brittany finishes reading, she gets up from the bed and walks over to Santana. It's now Brittany's turn to cry, and she pulls Santana in to hug her tightly. ``It's beautiful, San. Thank you``, she whispers in her ear. They pull away from each other, and their eyes lock, dark eyes meeting baby blue ones.
``Not as beautiful as you``, Santana whispers sincerely. She leans in and kisses Brittany ever so softly on the lips. Before Santana can protest, Brittany captures her lips again, but this time it's different. There is a wanting, longing feel to it. Like if Brittany was to stop kissing Santana the world would end. Their lips part and both girls are left breathless by the passion in the kiss. Brittany pulls away, and heads for the door.
``Where are you going? `` Santana asks confused. ``To show the guys the song, and see if they think it's good enough for Nationals``, Brittany says with a smile. ``Can we do that later? Only I was hoping that maybe we could…. Um….. Cuddle on the bed for a while, you know like we used to. `` Santana can't believe what she has just asked, and she expects Brittany to say no obviously.
Brittany takes Santana by the hand and leads her to the bed, ``I thought you'd never ask`` came the reply. Brittany was first in the bed, and Santana followed almost too eagerly. Brittany wraps one arm around Santana's waist and pulls her in close. ``I love you Santana, proudly so`` Brittany all but whispers. ``I love you too Brittany``, came the reply. And with one final kiss, they soon fell asleep wrapped in each other's arms.