SHEKEPTMEWAITING

Time never seems like an important variable to even the most insignificant of humans. The seconds we waste tying our shoes, resting our eyes, or letting our minds wander for complete bliss, we never fully appreciate that they are moments that we will never get back. As each of these moments pass, we are one step closer to our own demise.

Being a vampire, time is an even more feeble thing. Time does not get lost in sleep, or in consciousness, or in any other way we ourselves can find imaginable. I had witnessed over a century and a half that all seemed to me like one long, strange day. Time, in all essence, had stopped for me, as for all fear of my own demise. I had faced battle again and again, and I had defeated it. Death was nothing that I saw with fear.

But even things that have stopped for centuries can come suddenly back into life.

It had been going on a week since my Alice had left me. It was the longest that we have ever been apart. In fact, I could scarcely remember a day that had gone by in the preceded decades that had not concluded with me and my Alice being together.

Time had betrayed me.

A week seemed so short, so small, like a single grain of sand on the beach. But now, it was pure torture, pure agony. I could not move, yet I could not sit still. I could not bare to look upon my family, but at the same time, I could not imagine closing my eyes, fearing that if I did I would miss her when she did at last return.

Because my Alice was going to return. Long, long ago, we had promised each other that we would never be a part. I had kept her waiting, before I even knew who she was. From that moment onward, I had vowed to never leave her in waiting for me again.

Now it was Alice that was keeping me waiting.

Carlisle and the others were doing their best to console me, and offering their own opinions on hope and success. But I did not see how they could hope for success, when their thoughts betrayed them with despair, fear, and impatience. Their own discomfort did nothing to soothe my own demonic thoughts. On a normal day, I would be able instantly alter their emotions to keep them from worry. Today was not a normal day, and I was much too exhausted to try and aid them. I was missing the one thing that kept me going, the only thing that insured that I did indeed deserve to live and still had a purpose in this life.

"I'm sure they'll call soon." Esme murmured softly, sweetly. I doubted there had ever been a word uttered out of sweet Esme's lips that did not come out like sugar.

"Its been too long." I whispered lowly, unable to contain myself any longer. The others exchanged glances. I knew that they were silently agreeing with me, because their worry and fear only increased. Despite this, Carlisle cleared his throat and said, in an uncharacteristically strained voice "Give it time. It would be unwise to think too rashly."

For a moment, anger at Carlisle lashed out from me. It would be unwise to think to rashly?My Alice was out there! My everything! If Esme was gone, I doubted Carlisle would be saying the same thing. He'd be biting his tongue.

Then, feeling suddenly foolish, I remembered what had taken place, just yesterday, or was it the day before, after I had last heard from my Alice.

'She asked me to… prepare you, Carlisle." My voice was gruff, but steady. I had been the bringer of bad news many times in my life, but I would rather face Maria and all her newborns ten times over than have to tell Carlisle that his most beloved son might not return to him.

"Prepare me for what, precisely?" Carlisle's voice, so frequently calm and serene, was verging on cold, with the slightly trace of anxiety and fear evident in it that the others without the gift I possessed could still detect.

I wished that I could cover my eyes, but I willed them to stay open. It would be rude, not to mention an unheard-of sign of weakness for me to need to hide myself from him. I was Jasper Whitlock. I had faced horrors that none with the most vivid imaginations could depict, and had traveled to hell and back. Yet I still could not tell Carlisle that there was a chance that Edward would never speak to any of us again.

"Prepare for the-" my voice trembled and gave out, and I cleared my throat before continuing. "Prepare you for the possibility that Bella and herself will be too late." I could not summon up the will power to repeat Alice's name. Repeating her name would only make me think more of here, of the fact that she was not here, with me, where it was safe….

My Alice had kept me waiting.

Emmett now seemed to be trying to take a crack at cheering me up. "You may have trouble believing it Jazz, but Alice can take pretty damn good care of herself." He gave me a sloppy grin, but it was a half hearted one, and I could still tell that he was troubled. Despite my exhaustion, I sent some affection at my brother. Nothing could dampen his spirits.

"She can indeed.' I agreed, in the same, gruff voice that I had used previously. I looked away now, out the window, due east, where I knew that far, far away, my Alice was. "I would still rather it was me though."

"Don't say that Jasper." It was Rosalie's turn now. Among the same worried emotions of the rest of the family, Rosalie's emotions were riddled with guilt. The same guilt that myself had been fighting off ever since Bella's birthday. "I'm glad you're here. "We can't lose you too."

"We're not losing anybody." Carlisle told her forcefully, his voice raising. It was the closest I had ever come to hearing him lose his temper. "They'll be here any time now, just have patience. " Esme pressed herself closer to him. He closed his eyes, looked almost as exhausted as I felt. "Just have faith." He added, without opening his eyes.

For a while, this seemed to subdue us, and we continued in our silent vigil for several more hours. Outside, I could see the sun beginning to set again. Another day was ending, another day that I had not spent with my Alice, or even heard her voice.

Another abnormal day, gone.

Perhaps sometime in the day the followed, she would return. For a short while, images of our sweet reunion lifted my heart. By this time tomorrow, me and my Alice could be together again, never to be separated.

Never to keep each other waiting.

"I'm going to slip away for a quick hunt." It was Emmett, once again, that broke the silence. "How about it, Jazz?"

I shook my head. He did not look surprised. Rosalie reached for his hand and they left the room. Their departure seemed like an omen to me, a sign that they were not expecting Edward, Bella, or my wife to return any time soon. Emse looked at Carlisle mournfully and he hugged her tight, whispering into her ear. In that moment, I felt more alone that ever. Rosalie and Emmett had each other for comfort, as did Carlisle and Esme. Even if (my icy heart ached at the thought) Edward and Bella did not survive, they would be able to die together.

But if Alice, my sweet Alice, was indeed gone forever, she I would be separeted. She would go where I couldn't follow. If if I myself was slain, I would go straight to hell, or any equivalent of it. But not Alive, my gentle Alice, who had never hurt a soul. If heaven was created for a single person, then it was created for her. She deserved to be someplace green, someplace happy, where she could laugh and smile and not have to worry any more about the future. It was a small comfort to think that if Alice was indeed gone forever, than maybe she could at least get somewhere like heaven.

"Carlisle.' I interrupted his and Esme caress, but I needed to hear his reassurance. "If Alice passes.. If Alice..." I let myself blink now and shook my head. "If she dies," my voice dropped so quiet that a mortal would be unable to hear me. "Will she go to heaven?' Edward didn't believe in God. He thought that this hellish life we lived prevented us from ever having any sort of after-life. This was it. Carlisle, always the Catholic, had always fought to convince him otherwise.

Carlisle looked at me thoughtfully. "Alice is the purest, most positive being I have ever encountered." he replied. "She will move on in this world, to paradise." Part of me considered that he was only saying this to make me feel better, but his emotions were earnest and true. 'As will you, Jasper."

This made my frown. "I beg to differ, sir." I countered, looking down. "Even as a human, I was undeserving of such destinies."

'I don't believe that." Carlisle challenged. "And neither should you."

The room fell into another heavy silence. Esme, unable to stand it any more, picked up the remote to the TV. After flicking through the channels for less than thiry seconds, however, she switched it off again, bathing in dark, brooding silence once more. When the sun began to rise again, Emmett and Rosalie returned. Their eyes were lighter and their shoulders stronger, but their emotions were just as anguished and fearful as before. Now, I was just begging for news, one way or another, to reach us.

At noon, we heard a car pull in the driveway. I sprang to my feet at once, before the others could even contemplate the sound and charged through the door and out onto the driveway. A taxi cab had pulled in, with a logo from the airport em-blazed on its side. I did not stop until I reached the beings exiting the driveway, reading their emotions, trying to find those of the one that made me sane, the one that had kept me waiting.

Then I stopped dead in my tracks.

Something was terribly terribly wrong.

You've kept me waiting.

I couldn't even begin to comprehend the shouted voices, or the body being pressed against mine as I went rushing towards the pavement.

I promise.

Carlisle was yelling hoarsely at someone, and Esme let out a wail and burst into tearless, violent sobs.

Think about, it Jasper.

Rosalie turned to Emmett and embraced him as they both shook with despair. But oddly enough, I could hear any of their conversation, and neither was I reading their emotions. I was only focused on the emotions of the two beings that had exited the cab.

One way or another, I'll get out.

Bella and Edward were approaching us.

And I love you.

Their only emotion was one of grief.

She had lied. She had kept me waiting, and now, she was never coming back.

This idea came to me when I was reading a fanfiction (can't remember which one). Seeing as I already killed Jasper off (A Normal Day), I figured it was about time to kill Alice of too. I'm not sure how I feel about this one, and I may edit it. I haven't written in months, but school is nearly done so I will be back in the saddle again. Unfortunately, all of my drafts got deleted when my laptop got cleaned out. I had about three nearly finished stories, over 12 thousand words. All gone.

Did any readers of A Normal Day, catch the little allusion to it in the beginning? I gave him two of the same lines that Alice uses.

I'm going to next work on a two shot, which will be how Alice and Jasper each cope with the other's passing. (keeping with the depressing themes.) I've got another half finished oneshot done, and some other ideas, so keep an eye out for new postings.

The two-shot's gonna be called 'Without You.' If anyone can guess what song the title comes from, they'll get official kudos.

Thanks for reading, please review.

Mayday