Haunted, a slam dunk fanfic

Disclaimer: Do I own Slam Dunk? I wish. The song 'Haunted' is taken from Kelly Clarkson's album 'My December'.

Author's Note: This is my first Ruhana songfic, so be gentle. You may want to listen to the song whilst reading, though. Hope you enjoy it! Oh, and there might be some typos here and there. My apologies.

Louder Louder

The voices in my head

Whispers taunting

All the things you said

Faster the days go by and I'm still

Stuck in this moment of wanting you here

Time..In the blink of an eye

You held my hand,you held me tight

Now you're gone and I'm still crying

Shocked,Broken,I'm dying inside

Where are you

I need you

Don't leave me here on me own

Speak to me

Be near me

I can't survive unless I know you're here with me

The fire glinted off the auburn locks of a redhead as he sat in a dimly-lit tavern, swigging the last of his whiskey. He had been here for some time now, alternating his time between sleeping restlessly and drinking copiously. He didn't know exactly how long. Day and night passed in a distant blur of light and dark. Not that it mattered. To him, there was no world anymore. The murky liquid burned his throat as he swallowed, leaving behind a bitter taste and a numbing sensation, making him feel light-headed and detached from his surroundings. Still, it wasn't enough to make him forget. It never was.

-Hello, Sakuragi. It's nice to see you again.- The redhead's jaw clenched, and his hand clutched instinctively at the tankard that he'd been drinking from, "No. Go away! You're not wanted here." he growled, eyes roving the crowded tavern warily, as if searching for someone.

Sakuragi shuddered as he heard a laugh. -Looking for me? You won't find me. I'm not there, Hanamichi. I'm here.I'm you. Don't you know?-

The only reply was a murderous snarl, "No. 'Cos if you were, I'd have committed suicide a long time ago."

-Really. Well then, if you don't miss me, you must be waiting for him, aren't you? Waiting. Wishing. Hoping he'll come. That it'll be alright again.- The voice had developed a tetchy and malicious edge, chanting the last few phrases in a haunting, sing-song fashion. -Tell me, Hanamichi. Tell me.-

"Shut. Up. I'm warning you, don't go there..." Sakuragi hissed through clenched teeth. He was vaguely aware that he was trembling, his tankard clattering loudly against the table.-No? You won't say it?- It paused, as though to give him room to answer. Sakuragi ignored it pointedly.

It sighed, its tone brimming with false sympathy. -I'll tell you then. The only reason why Rukawa Kaede left you was because you weren't good enough. You see, he was talented, rising in the nobles' favour all the time, and you weren't. He needed to keep an eye on you all the time because you were always getting in scrapes. You were hopeless, a loser. Remember that time you were drunk, and you fought with the Captain of the King's Guard? You nearly killed Mitsui, and because of that, Rukawa had to disgrace the entire aristocracy and himself by kneeling in the street and begging the entire Guard to put down their weapons and leave you alone. Do you remember? He was flung out of Court after that, and it was all your fault. Your fault, Sakuragi. Yours, and yours alone.-

Sakuragi closed his eyes, pressing his forehead to the greasy wood of the table,"It's not true! He didn't care about that - the fact that I was a commoner and didn't know the rules! He forgave me, he loved me, he did! He saidso!"

The voice carried on, relentless and cruel. -And he also promised that he would never leave you. Didn't he? So tell me, Sakuragi, why are you here alone? Where's Rukawa, when he should be with you?- It was practically gloating now, feeding off Sakuragi's fear and anguish greedily.

"Where is Rukawa? I-I don't know. Rukawa..." The redhead whispered, puzzled and lost. His earlier bravado and anger had deserted him, leaving uncertainty to fill the void. -He lied to you, Hanamichi. He left. Left for a better future and place. And he's not coming back. Ever.- The very words sliced into Hanamichi's deepest fears.

"NO! IT'S ALL A LIE!! HE'S COMING BACK, SO DON'T YOU DARE SAY HE'S NOT!!!" The redhead fumbled for his empty tankard and flung it across the room. It arced through the air to land with a dull thump in the hissing flames. -If you say so. But you know you're fooling yourself. You're the real liar.-

Murmurs of disapproval rippled through the crowd, and the bolder ones (including someone who looked suspiciously like Mitsui) glared. The innkeeper shoved his way to stand in front of Sakuragi, scowling, "You. Get outta here. We don't hold no stock wi' troublemakers, y'hear? Now cough up and get out 'fore I call the dogs on you. Git!"

Wordlessly, Hanamichi pulled out a single gold coin from his moneybag and flung it onto the table before stalking out into the night. Shivering, he pulled his cloak more tightly around him. It was approaching midwinter, and the nights were growing longer and colder. The wind slashed mercilessly at him as he trudged down the icy, deserted street.

Shadows linger, only to my eye

I see you

I feel you

Don't leave my side

It's not fair just when I found my world

They took you

They broke you

They tore out your heart

I miss you,you hurt me,you left with a smile.

Mistaken your sadness was hiding inside

Now all that's left are the pieces to find

The mystery you kept

The soul behind a guise

Where are you

I need you

Don't leave me here on my own

Speak to me

Be near me

I can't survive unless I know you're here with me

The moribund flames guttered forlornly in their swaying lanterns, casting their feeble rays on the swirling, gathering snow and sketching dark shadows. They flitted here and there, never staying at the same place for too long, reminding Sakuragi of fading, passing memories of places and things that were all too soon forgotten. He fingers clenched involuntarily, closing around the icy air, as though in an attempt to stop the inevitable passing of time. Kaede... I need you, more than ever... "Come back, Rukawa. Come back. Onegai..." he said rawly, brokenly, voice hoarse with grief and loss. Huddling against the wall like a drowning man clinging to driftwood, he hugged his knees in an attempt to keep warm.

The redhead closed his eyes, attempting to recall what Rukawa was like. The familiar face swam into view, blue eyes glittering with warmth and suppressed amusement, his lips twitching in faint grin. With a pang, he remembered the comforting scent of soap and wood that was uniquely Rukawa's. The way he used to hold me... The softness of his lips... The smile he always had when he saw me... I miss him. Unbidden, silent tears coursed their way down Sakuragi's face.

Why? Why did you leave me? We were happy together. Weren't we, Kaede? He sucked in a sharp lungful of air as the scenes replayed themselves in his mind. The door slamming open. Hostile faces, drawn swords, all caught in the candlelight. Kaede's hesitation. His father's barely restrained fury as he glared at his son. Even today, the vicious words still rang in Sakuragi's ears. "What do you mean by this!? He's a commoner, for Sky's sake! Filth! And yet you run around with him, scouring the name of your family! Itrusted you, my eldest son and only heir, to have better sense than that! Kaede, do you hear me? Your mother-"

"Father. Please. But I make my own decisions and Sakuragi is notfilth." Rukawa's voice was calm, showing only the slightest strain. But Sakuragi knew him well enough to sense his pain.

His father's restraint snapped. His hand snapped out to cuff Rukawa heavily on the head, sending him sprawling to the floor despite his (Rukawa's ) warrior training. "So. You would dare defend that...that good-for-nothing Sakuragi?" He spat the name out as if it were poison,"You're an utter fool, boy! He'll do nothing to help you - save pull you down! And he already has. Come with me now, Kaede. You've wasted too much time."

Rukawa paused, his gaze wavering between Sakuragi and his father. He was quite clearly unable to decide. "I..."

His father's eyes were cold and devoid of sympathy. "Kaede, you force my hand. You must know that your... Sakuragi still has an outstanding charge against from the King's Guard for assualting one of their number, Captain Mitsui, I believe. The penalty is to be executed by stoning. I have persuaded the Guard to drop all charges against Sakuragi, but if you do not do as I say, Kaede, you might as well bid goodbye to him permanantly. I am sure you would not wish that."

The Noble pulled himself up, dusting the dirt off his tunic. His face was ashen, but his eyes flashed angrily. "So 'tis threatening and brandishing your swords now, is it? It won't work, Father, because they'll have to deal with me first. Rot your title and your bleeding wealth, then!"

"You seem determined to vex me, Kaede. Very well then. Captain Mitsui! Finish your task." Mitsui stepped out of the shadows, an unpleasant grin on his face. His blade whipped towards Hanamichi. But before it could come into to contact with the redhead, there was an answering ring of steel that jolted the captain's sword out of his hand and across the room. "Leave. Sakuragi. Out. Of. This. Before. I. Kill. You." Rukawa snarled through clenched teeth. His blade pointed straight at his father's heart. He was vaguely aware of the Duke's men-at-arms forming a ring about him, weapons drawn and ready to kill at their liege lord's word. But he didn't care. He was done with the Royal Court for good.

A strangled yell behind Kaede caused him to whirl around. Past the solid wall of armour and swords, he could see Sakuragi struggling with Mitsui and two Guards, whom he recognised as Sendoh and Maki, the best fighters of the lot. His heart sank. Sakuragi was a good fighter, but he couldn't take on all three of the Guard at once. And it was rapidly becoming apparent that the redhead was losing the battle, with Mitsui's blade at his throat and the other two Guards pinning his arms behind him. Duke Rukawa hastily took advantage of the momentary lapse in his son's attention to flee to the door. "K'so...DAMN YOU, SCARFACE! YOU'RE A LOUSY, YELLOW-BELLIED COWARD!" the redhead bellowed, twisting futilely in Maki's grip.

Mitsui smiled cruelly, increasing pressure on Sakuragi's neck until blood welled from the wound. "Damn me to Deathgate if you want, Sakuragi, but that won't help you. Not until I'm dead, and, unfortunately for you, I'm not. You'll die first, scum. My lord Duke?" He looked at his commander, seeking permission. The Duke gave a deliberate nod.

"You deserve it, cur." Mitsui's voice was almost joyful as he raised his blade. "Pity it couldn't have been sooner for me."

Horrified, Rukawa leapt forward, only to be met by raised shields. "No! Hanamichi! Let me through, rot your innards and Sky blast you!" He slammed against the shields in a futile attempt to break through.

"Enough, Kaede? Then you will come with me. If you don't..." the Duke let his words trail off menacingly.

"Then your precious... Sakuragi dies."

Rukawa bit his lip grimly. Coppery blood filled his mouth. It was the taste of defeat and submission. He lowered his head and let his sabre fall from his limp hand. His fringe covered his eyes, hiding his bitter emotions. "Free Sakuragi, and I will go." His voice was hollow. Void of emotion.

The Duke gave him a frigid smile. "You chose well, Kaede. I am glad that you have come to your senses. Mitsui! You heard him. Free the boy and leave. Now."

Mitsui gave a feral, enraged snarl. His chiselled features twisted in a ferocious scowl. "Why should I? He's mine; I haven't settled my accounts with him yet!"

"You're not deaf, I presume, Captain Mitsui?" The Duke's voice was frosty and dangerous. His men-at-arms moved threateningly towards the King's Guards.

Realising he was outnumbered three to one, Mitsui snarled,"Shut the hell up! I don't bloody care if you're the flipping Duke of Kanagawa! You're gonna regret this one dark night when you're all alone, milord Duke.. .So why don't you cough up, pay me the gold and get out of here before I change my mind?" He sheathed his sword, signalling to Sendoh and Maki to let go of Sakuragi,"I'll be expecting the money anyday now, sire Duke. Have it ready, my serivces don't come cheap." He stalked out, followed by his lackeys.

Sakuragi continued to lie where he'd been dumped by Sendoh and Maki. His side ached dully from being pummelled and kicked mercilessly by those oafs, but the pain was the last thing on his mind. He reeled in shock. Rukawa, leaving him? It could not be! His thoughts were accusing. Kaede... You promised that you'd always love me! I can't live without you, Kae... Please... Stay.. However, all that would come out of his battered mouth was a slurred, incoherent,"Kae..de..."

Rukawa knelt down besides Sakuragi, trying to smile, trying to tell him that it was alright. "It'll be fine, Hana. I'll come back. I promise. And then I'll leave with you. I just... have to go now. It won't be for long, ne?" He brushed Sakuragi's bruised cheek gently with cool fingers, but behind his smile Sakuragi could sense his despair, frustration and sorrow. "Wait for me, Hana. I'll be back."

Why did you go?

All these questions run through my mind

I wish I couldn't feel at all

Let me be numb

I'm starting to fall!

Where are you

I need you

Don't leave me here on my own

Speak to me

Be near me

I can't survive unless I know you're with me

Where are you

Sakuragi closed his eyes, shuddering at the memory,"Kaede! You promised... And I'm waiting... Please... I can't-"

"Hana? Nan desu ka?" A familiar voice reached his ears over the howling of the wind. Sakuragi's heart leapt. Kae-kun? Stumbling, he whirled around to see... none other than Rukawa Kaede, heir to the dukedom of Kanagawa.

Rukawa's dark hair whipped around his face as he gazed at Sakuragi. For a long while, neither said a word, Sakuragi stunned at the sudden reappearance of his koibito, and Rukawa grieved at the change that Sakuragi had undergone. The redhead, once hearty and in the pink of health, was pale and pinched. Dark circles were evident under his haunted eyes, and his clothes were grubby and worn.

"Hana..." Rukawa could bear it no longer. Striding forward, he pulled a motionless Sakuragi into his arms. Sakuragi flinched and stiffenned at first, but when Rukawa did not yield, he slumped wearily and let Rukawa hold him. "I waited so long, Kaede. Why? Why? You could have stayed..." His voice was choked by sobs,"When you left me... I wished I would die. I need you, Kaede."

Rukawa rocked him gently. Unbeknownst to Sakuragi, tears were also falling down his koibito's face. His heart ached with the redhead's pain. But there was no way that the noble could stay with him. At least, not in this world. After tonight, he would no longer be able to see Sakuragi ever again, for he would have to marry the Crown Princess Haruko the next day. "Don't cry, Hana. I just want you to know, whatever happens, I will always love you."

"Hai. Aishteru yo, Kaede." Hanamichi replied softly, raising his head to look Kaede in the eyes. Whilst he was distracted, Rukawa gently worked the dagger out of its sheath. Nightshade poison. Painless. It won't take more than a few seconds, and he'll be gone.The peddlar's voice rang once more in his ears. The dagger hilt was steady in his hand. With a swift, calculated move, Rukawa plunged it into Sakuragi's back. With a startled cry, the redhead stumbled, pitching forward into the snow. He attempted to speak, but coughed instead. Blood stained the snow a deep crimson. "I'm sorry, Hana. I couldn't bear to have you taken from me. If we can't be on this world together, we'll see each other in the next." Rukawa grazed Sakuragi's forehead with a parting kiss.

"Don't... don't leave me again." The redhead's voice was scarce more than a whisper. Rukawa's voice was firm, "I won't. Soon, Hana."

Rukawa eased the dagger from Sakuragi's back. Now, the next for me.Just then, hurried footsteps caused the noble to look up. His father was standing there, eyeing him with horror. "Kaede! What are you doing!?"

Rukawa's voice was calm,"Leaving." Before he could be stopped, he brought the blade across his exposed throat. He fell gently onto the snow, pressed to the fading warmth of Sakuragi's body.

"Wha- Why!?" Dimly, he heard his father's voice above him, hoarse with rage and grief.

"He needed me and you took me away. It's only right, now..." Rukawa's voice was soft. His surroundings were fading into darkness. He had to go. The redhead was waiting. They had wasted enough time already. His lips curved into a final, last smile. Hana... I'm coming, like I promised.

You were smiling