After deciding that the prologue on its own was a wee bit too short to be given its own chapter, i melded it into the first. Ye be finding the first 'real' chapter at the bottom. Ja...

Title: The Ugg That Lived
Rated: T
Ships: Severus/Uggy(original character)
Summary: When Severus Snape falls madly in love with an uggboot who knows pain all too well, will they find solace in each others embrace? Und ja, its really about an ugg-boot...

Prologue

Point Of View: Uggy the ugg-boot

Date: Undefined, after harrys fourth year

Its been two weeks since it happened. Since my brother Albert the ugg-boot was incinerated into pink fluffy piles by one Lord Voldemort.

Albert was brave; didn't even scream as he bounced heroically off Voldemorts shiney, bald head. Not that he could've screamed anyway. Ugg-boots generally dont possess mouths with which to scream, shout, eat, drink, burp, spew, or any other human functions.

My name is Uggy: The Ugg Who Lived

A/N: -----Ye feeling an uncontrollable urge to continue to the next chapter...-----

Prologue written by patsy, rest by me.
If ye likey, tell me so! If ye not likey, tell me anyway! If ye has no idea wtf is going on, tell me and i will explain... oh and the next chapters will be much longer :)
And for that person who reported me for using a 'real person' in the story, do uggboots generally talk in real life! Are you trying to tell me that Uggy, a character created by me(and dearest patsy), is walking around out there as a real person? I didn't think so!

Pre-note:

Ja, this story is set during and after order of the phoenix, its a bit AU and most likely non-HBP compliant

Oh, and yes, this story really is about and ugg-boot, the type you wear on your foot.

And on with the story...

The Ugg that Lived

Chapter 1

POV: Severus Snape

Date: Night, September 1st, year 5 for harry

I was walking up to the great hall for the start of term feast. Where all those insolent children would flood the hall and the big 'D' would make his start of term speech. I always hated these things. They're bad enough on their own, and yet you know things can only get worse from here.

As I passed the entrance hall i noticed the doors were open. I walked over to them, but as i reached out to the handle I could plainly see someting looking distincly like an Ugg-boot poking out of the snow. Odd, yes. But I didn't give it a second thought. I closed the entrance hall to the bitter chill of the night air and carried on my path to the great hall. As I turn a corner I seeMcGonagall hurrying towards me.

"Severus! Where have you been? All the children have already arrived and are taking their seats in the great hall."

"I realise that, Minerva, I was just on my way there" Not like its any of your buisiness anyway...

"Well, quickly now, or you'll be late for the feast" She turns to leave, but I interject;

"What a pity that would be"

As she turns back I am shot an exasperated look and i know she hasn't much patience left after all the running around to get Hogwarts ready for tonight

"You know Albus wants all hogwarts teachers attending this evening, Severus. And I for one would appreciate it if you didn't make things any more difficult than they already are. I will see you in the great hall tonight." And with a stern look she left.

"I suppose it is expected" I say to myself as I trudge up towards yet another year of my miserable existance.

I arrive at the teachers table and take my seat next to Minerva. On the other side of Albus there is a very large man, in fact so large he would be considered a giant, because he looked to be at least 16ft tall, and was so big there were clouds obscuring my view of his face.

As I look out to the sea of children my eyes flicker back to the exit, as though searching for an escape route. But still I settle myself down and look on as the last of the first years are sorted into their house groups. Its going to be a looong night...

Above all the chatter, a small tapping can be heard; Dumbledore taking his fork to his pumkin juice goblet. The noise dies away almost instantaneously and he stands up.

"Welcome, welcome, to another year at Hogwarts!"

Oh,here we go...

"First of all, I'd like to introduce God, who has kindly concented to filling the post of defence against the dark-arts teacher, because it is cursed and noboddy else wanted it. We figured that if a person was powerful enough to create the universe and everything in it, then a simple curse should pose no problem to them."

"Secondly, Mr filch would like me to advise you all that muggle aerosole cans such as deodorant and body spray are banned and are not to be used in the hallways, dormitories, or anywhere else for that matter because they are causing some students to develop breathing difficulties, and suggests that if you feel you might be carrying an odour, you should consider deodorant of the roll-on variety, or, alternatively, bathing more often."

"Thirdly, I'd like to announce that blah diddly blah blah blah..."

So thats who the big guy is. If he's all powerful, I should ask him why I was never offered the Defence Against The Dark Arts job. Its not like noboddy knows I want it, I mean, how many hints does a person need!

As Dumbledore continues to babble on about the events of the comming year, i find myself reliving the events that lead me here. Walking past the entrance hall and finding the doors wide open, looking out onto the fresh layer of snow and seeing that ugg-boot... I wonder why it was there. Was it left by someone? Did it get there of its own accord? Could it have been magic? I decide to investigate the matter later on, as it will give me something to comtemplate other than thinking up ways to trick Dumbledore into giving me the DADA job. I wonder what will happen? Do ugg-boots unexpectantly turn up on doorsteps often?

"Good evening, Mr. Ugg-boot"

"Hey there,handsome"

"I, what did you say?"

"You heard me -giggle-"

Out of the corner of my eye, I see dumbledore turn around. But its not him, its the ugg. Suddenly, I find we are completely alone; the children have all retired to their dormitories, and the teachers are in their offices or living quarters preparing for tomorrows lessons. Its just me and him.

The Ugg speaks to me.

"I saw you watching me back there"

"I,I wasn't watching." I say defiantly

The ugg-boot on dumbledores neck swishes its robes around amourously. It throws me a cheecky grin and continues.

"Ohhhh, dont worry, I wont tell anyone. It'll be our little secret." said the ugg, and it winks at me sheepishly

"But i, I wasn't! I was simply closing the doors and you happened to be in my line of vision!"

"You dont have to explain youself to me, sssssseverussssss..."

"How did you know my name! I demand to know!" ohhhhh, but the way it said my name...

"Ohhhh, i know a lot about you sssseverusssss, isn't that righhhhhht..."

"No! Well, I..." I feel my control slipping...

"Isn't that right, Professor snape" Suddenly the uggs voice had gotten deeper, and I feel something jab me sharply in the ribs.

"What are you..." and i look beside me. Its minerva. She's nodding at me discreetly, with a stern look on her face. I turn to look at the ugg, but there is only dumbledore.

"Isn't that right"

I stand.

All eyes are on me.

My eyes waver towards the exit. They waver back.

"I, Yes. Thats right headmaster."

I reclaim my seat.

Dumbledore speaks again as though nothing had happened.

"Well then, now that thats sorted, everyone enjoy the feast!"

Even through the clatter of knives and forks on plates,I still hear what distinctly sounds like a 'hmph' issue from minervas mouth. She's noticably agitated.

Could this night get any worse...

------------------------------------------------------------

Hmmm, perhaps it will -evil grin-

Yeah, its longer than the prologue, of course, it is a bit boring to begin with but, well, theres lots to come. Involving Ugg-boots.

Stay tuned...