Laura sat on the couch staring at the blank screen of the TV. She and Carmilla had had an argument, one of their biggest yet, and over something so incredibly stupid.
Carmilla was supposed to make it back in time for their weekly movie night, but she'd rang Laura earlier apologising because her car had broken down in the middle of nowhere, and she wasn't going to make it back in time.
Something had snapped inside Laura then, even though she knew that Carm's car breaking down wasn't her fault, she was just pissed because she'd hardly seen her best friend all week. Carmilla had been working longer to train a new girl at work, leaving her less time to spend with Laura.
Laura kept telling herself that is was because she simply missed her best friend, however there was a small part of her, telling her that that was not exactly the truth.
So here Laura was, sulking in her pyjamas and nursing a mug of hot cocoa as she replayed their fight in her head.
'Bad news, Cupcake. :(' Carmilla had text her.
Laura had read the text and rang her straight away, Carmilla'd picked up on the first ring.
"Bad news? What do you mean bad news? Are you alright?" Laura had panicked.
She'd heard Carmilla's amused chuckle at her ramble and could practically feel her eye roll through the phone.
"I'm fine." Carm assured her, "My car just broke down and I'm… in the middle of nowhere and… my phone has like, 34% battery left." she'd said apologetically.
Laura had stayed quiet. She hadn't known what to say. Her free hand had balled into a fist and a lump had started to form in her throat.
"I don't think I'll be there in time." Carmilla had said quietly, her voice sad. "I'm…" she was about to say before Laura cut her off.
"This is just typical." she'd said at the exact same time Carmilla had said "Sorry."
Laura's stomach had dropped and her mouth was speaking, before even her brain could keep up.
"If you didn't want to do movie night tonight, you could've just said so." Laura had said through gritted teeth. Anger and disappointed and frustration building inside her as the seconds ticked by.
"Woah, what? Where is this coming from?" Carmilla had sounded confused.
"Y'know what, forget it. It's not like I hadn't been looking forward to this after the crappy week I've had, not that you'd even know about that because you've been hanging with Jess or Tess or whatever the hell she's called, and probably only replied to my texts out of some twisted obligation, like some sort of chore… I'm not a chore, Carm." Laura had rambled on and on, her voice getting thicker as her eyes had started to water.
She didn't know what she was saying, all of it was just bursting out of her. She was telling herself that it was anger and not jealousy in the slightest, but the ache in her chest had suggested otherwise.
"Hey Laura, slow down… Where is all this coming from? You know I didn't exactly offer to train the new girl, and if I wanted to keep my job, which I do, I have to do it… I never said you were a chore, Cupcake…" Carmilla had sounded desperate and worried and Laura could picture her brow creased with concern. "Laura? Laura are you even there?" she'd asked, sighing defeatedly.
Laura had cleared her throat to signal that she was still there.
"Laura, you know I would be there if I could, I just…" Carmilla had said sadly.
"Just forget it." Laura'd cut her off again, her voice broken.
She'd hung up before Carmilla could even respond.
Now here she was feeling worse after an exceptionally bad week, alone and guilty.
She regretted everything she'd said to Carmilla and the more she dwelled on it, the worse she felt. But she deserved it, she reminded herself as she imagined a cold and confused Carmilla in the middle of nowhere.
In the middle of nowhere.
Laura gasped as she realised she'd been so focused on admonishing herself and busy wallowing in self-pity, that she had completely - and selfishly- forgotten that Carmilla was stuck in the middle of nowhere with little-to-no battery left on her phone, she realised as she checked the time, and saw that it'd been at least four hours since she'd hung up on her.
She instantly got to her feet, stepped into her slippers, wrapped her dressing gown around herself and grabbed her keys as she made her way hurriedly towards the door. She was too distracted, wondering where Carm was? She was in the middle of nowhere, but why? Where was she?
Worry overcame her then, just as she flung the door to her apartment open and stumbled into… Carmilla?
"Woah there… going somewhere?" she asked as she steadied Laura with her hands on the girl's shoulders.
"Carm!" Laughed sighed with relief as she wrapped her arms around her best friend. She heard a small ruffling sound, probably Carmilla's backpack sliding off of her shoulder, then felt her wrap an arm around her waist and squeeze gently.
Laura pulled back once she felt Carmilla shiver slightly and realised that Carm's hair and clothes were damp too.
"Why are you here?" she asked, then snapped her mouth shut as her verbal-diarrhoea started to kick in.
Carmilla looked down at her feet, slung her bag on her shoulder again and started shuffling her feet.
"Well, I've come to the conclusion that your bed is much more comfier than mine." She said lightly.
Laura had only seen Carmilla nervous a handful of times, and it always made herself uneasy when she did because Carm was the strong and confident one out of the two of them.
"Laura…" Carmilla said and Laura's stomach flipped at the sound.
"I'm sorry for not making more time to spend with you, I've just been so tired because work is kicking my ass and I know that's no excuse but…" Carmilla stopped talking as Laura reached down to interlace their fingers and lead the way back into the apartment.
As Laura shut and locked the door, Carmilla stood awkwardly in the hallway before following Laura into the living room. She'd always felt right at home here at Laura's, so it was strange not knowing what to do but stand there.
She hadn't known what made Laura so upset earlier, but she was positive that she wouldn't succumb to exhaustion until she found out and then figure out a way to make her feel better.
"Carm, I…" Laura said at the exact same time said Carmilla said, "Listen, I…" they smiled sheepishly at each other as another short awkward silence fell upon them.
"Can I?" Carmilla motioned towards the couch. She'd never asked to sit down before, not even when she first visited this place.
"Of course." Laura said, siting down and hugging one of the cushions to her chest.
They were sat on opposite ends of the couch, mirroring just how emotionally distant they felt.
Carmilla didn't even have to look at her to know that tears were starting to well in Laura's eyes.
She scooted closer to Laura, hating the distance between them, and reached down on the floor for her bag.
"I'm…" Carmilla's voice was strained as she spoke. Laura looked up at her, she'd never seen Carmilla look so ashamed. Her heart broke when she saw the pained look behind her eyes, but her mouth just couldn't find any words to say.
"I'm so sorry, Laura. I should have been here when I said I would. I thought I'd left work early enough to get this and make it back in time." she revealed a familiar looking book from her bag before continuing.
"But my car broke down and I should've rang the tow service but I rang you to apologise, and then my phone fell in a puddle and wouldn't work, so I couldn't call the tow service, so I just left my car… where, I have no idea…" she recounted the events glumly as she tossed her unusable phone to the coffee table in front her.
Laura's guilt tripled with every word that escaped Carmilla's mouth. She didn't mean anything she'd said to her on the phone and all she wanted to do was say that she was sorry, but her stupid voice was lost as Carmilla continued rambling.
"But I hitched a ride with this truck driver who took me as far as he could, and then I walked the rest of the way… and I know it's past midnight already and I'm the worst friend ever…" Carmilla had to steady her breathing as her nerves got the better of her. Laura hadn't said a word and she was too scared to look up and see the disappointment on her face herself, so she kept her head down as she continued to recall the night's events.
"But when we went into that tiny old bookstore in that small town on that impromptu road trip we did about two, three months ago? You found this book." she placed the book in Laura's lap then.
Laura's eyes were so blurred from tears that she couldn't see the book cover, but she knew exactly which one it was. The sadness in Carmilla's voice was enough to break her heart completely as she let a few silent tears fall.
She'd been so rude to Carm on the phone and she felt worse now, knowing that Carm had left work early to go and buy a book that Laura had said she liked, from a tiny store in a small village about three hours away. How could she have remembered a tiny detail like that from a trip that happened months ago? It didn't surprise her really though, that Carmilla had remembered because she remembered everything about Laura. Every tiny detail mattered to Carmilla and that's what made Laura feel so valued by her, not that she deserved it after all this.
"And I couldn't get it for you then because I hadn't been paid yet, so I went today… thinking I could get back in time, but clearly I didn't take into consideration my car breaking down." she said shaking her head and sighing.
"I'm sorry." she apologised again, her voice thick and head still down.
Laura was screaming inside her head that it was alright and that she had nothing to apologise for, but this was the first time in her life that her brain wasn't cooperating with her mouth and so silence ensued.
She watched as Carmilla nodded in defeat after a moment and she couldn't even get her limbs to move at this stage. She just watched paralysed as Carmilla emptied the contents of her bag onto the coffee table in front of them.
She placed an 'L' shaped mug onto the table along with the expensive cocoa she knows Laura loves, and a box of her favourite chocolate chip cookies before zipping her bag and hanging the bag off of her shoulder again.
"I just… I couldn't go to sleep without wishing you a Happy Birthday." Carmilla said barely above a whisper as she got to her feet.
Laura gained function of her body again as panic settled in at the thought of Carmilla leaving, and she stood instantly, reaching out to grab Carm's forearm.
Carmilla looked down at where they were joined and then back up at Laura, her own eyes watery.
Laura still didn't say anything, in fact, she didn't know what she was doing, all she knew was that it felt right.
She reached up on tiptoes ever-so-slightly to cup her best friend's face with both of her hands gently. A tear fell down Carm's cheek and Laura brushed it away with the pad of her thumb, before she looked into Carmilla's tear-filled eyes.
The apology was so sincere, it was written all over her face and Laura still couldn't find the right words to say, so she just closed the distance.
Laura's heart raced as she felt Carmilla's cold nose graze, right before their lips met.
Carmilla stood frozen. She was stunned and questioning whether or not this was really happening.
Laura was just about to pull back when she heard Carmilla's backpack drop to the floor and not a second later, felt her arm wrap themselves securely around her waist.
Laura hummed into the kiss as one of her hands tangled in Carmilla's dark hair, and a warmth bloomed in her chest as she rest her forehead against Carm's.
Neither of them dared to open their eyes. Laura bit her lip to stifle a grin and Carmilla's nose was scrunched adorably as her eyes were shut tight.
Instinctively Carmilla held Laura closer as she felt, rather than heard, a sigh escape the girl's lips, raising goosebumps on her cheek.
"Please tell me that I didn't just dream this and I'm actually in my car, stuck in the middle of nowhere?" she begged and Laura's heart skipped a beat.
In answer to Carm's question, Laura simply pressed her lips to hers once more before opening her eyes and smiling sheepishly.
Carmilla looked shocked and Laura's cheeks flushed crimson with a blush that would imprinted into Carmilla's mind forever.
Laura's bashfulness got the better of her and her gaze dropped to where she was interlacing her fingers with Carm's.
"Do you ever… get like, happy but nervous butterflies?" she asked, chancing a glance at Carmilla as she poked her friend's stomach.
Carm tilted her head with a silent question in her eyes and gave Laura's hand a gentle squeeze as encouragement to continue her thought aloud.
"I don't know how to explain it… but when we hold hands, it's like the weirdest but best feeling ever." she said, laughing nervously.
Chancing a glance at her friend, Laura recognised the look in Carmilla's eyes. There was no mistaking it. It was the same look she had seeing Laura after a really long day, the same one she had when Laura rambled on about something that Carm had no interest in, but she spoke about it with such passion that she was just in awe of her, it was the same one she had in her eyes the very first time Laura met her.
Laura couldn't remember when she'd fallen in love with her best friend, but she sure as hell wasn't going to question it any longer.
Carmilla saw the same emotion reflected in Laura's eyes and couldn't hold back any longer.
She cupped Laura's face gently, so gently it was as is she'd break her, and looked into her sparkling brown eyes.
"Of all the things in this world I'm unsure of… all the billions of things… I am sure of one thing.
I am one hundred percent, undeniably and irrevocably in love with you, Laura. I have been since we first met." she smiled as she caressed Laura's cheek, watching the girl's eyes flutter closed at the sound of her voice.
Carmilla felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off of her shoulders as she saw Laura's lips quirk into a grin. She rest her forehead against Laura's and sighed as she closed her eyes once more, just wanting to be in the moment for a little longer.
Laura tucked Carmilla's hair behind her ear and grinned when she felt Carm lean into her touch automatically. With Carm's eyes still closed, Laura could wait another second before she leant in, she saw the smile playing on Carmilla's lips and stopped just a hairsbreadth away.
"I love you too." she whispered before capturing Carmilla's lips in a searing kiss, that left them both seeing stars.