Disclaimer: Characters are copyright to Rumiko Takahashi and whoever else owns InuYasha. No profit was made from this.
A/N: A quick one-shot I wrote to prove I wasn't dead. I swear, I'm not! I'll actually get real updates soon. Well, at any rate, this is about Kanna and Kagura, simply because there isn't enough love for them. This is not a couple fic, don't think that. This is just a simple glance into what I think goes on in their heads. Kanna can't be as indifferent as she seems. I wrote this while listening to 'Anthem for our Dying Day' by Story of the Year, too, so it's all good..
Reflections
Dead punk Girl
Kanna obeys not because she wants to, but rather, because she is afraid of dying. She has no youki, no demonic energy but she is the child of perhaps the worst youkai ever to plague the world.
Kagura doesn't obey not because she doesn't want to, but rather, because she is afraid she will not live if she does listen. She controls the winds and, ultimately, wants to be free to soar with the birds on her own breeze.
Kanna and Kagura are very different sisters, but in the same instance, the same moment, they are very much alike.
Kanna knows her sister's desires and believes them to be noble. She wishes she could have her younger sister's bravery, her younger sister's strength. Her younger sister's ability to be so damned strong, and yet crumble at the same time.
Kagura hates Kanna. She hates her quiet personality, her passiveness, her inability to fight back. She hates how he trusts Kanna, and does not trust her...even if she knows she had done nothing to earn the trust he puts in her younger sister.
But Kagura loves her older sister. Even if she betrays her for him, even if she obeys his every word. She loves her because Kanna is the only one who will ever understand.
More so, Kagura hates Hakudoushi. Because he will always be in the way of her freedom, always be in her path. She hates with such passion, she even tries to kill, knowing that she does not stand a chance and he will always stand in her way. In some form, Naraku and Hakudoushi will always be in her way.
Kanna doesn't hate; she just dislikes Akago. But she adjusts and carries the baby around, caring for him. Because she is too afraid to do anything else, even if the baby only sleeps now. She likes Kohaku for coming with her, but she does not trust the former taijiya. Just like Naraku does not trust Kagura.
Kagura daydreams too much. She drifts on breezes and imagines what life could be like if she were someone else, if Kanna were someone else, if everyone was someone else. She dreams of a certain inu-youkai that is far too arrogant for her liking, but she likes him anyway. Because he does not bow, because he does not bend to anyone's will but, perhaps, his own. And, in her fantasies, her will.
Kanna hates daydreaming. Dreams do not come true in her mind; they are just idle wishes. Kanna hates --no, Kanna dislikes because Kanna does not hate anything -- that inu-youkai her little sister dreams about because she is scared he will sweep her sister away. And then she will be alone.
But Kanna never lets on. She does not wear her emotions on her sleeve because it is not who she is. But that does not mean she does not feel just as her sister does.
Kagura feels with such a fire, such a strength, that it hurts. It hurts because she cannot fix these emotions ripping at her insides. She wishes she knew how to fix them, but she finds an inability to do so. Kagura wishes she was made of stone inside. She wishes she could cover the emotions she wears on her sleeve because she is so sick of being exposed, sick of being hurt, sick of being wounded in her heart.
Kagura cries. She cries for her lost freedom, cries for the freedom she will never have, cries for what she has never experienced and what she will never experience again.
Kanna doesn't cry. She watches, observes her sister, and feels her pain, her sadness, so strong it burns at her throat like acid. Kanna does not need a mirror to know that her sister hurts so bad that she feels it. She does not need her mirror, only her eyes, to be able to understand just why her sister cries like she does.
Because Kanna knows.
And Kagura knows Kanna knows.
And she is okay with that.
Because even if Kanna is afraid of dying, and Kagura is afraid of never living, they are very much alike. Two sisters, in the same circumstance, walking twin paths that are, ultimately, going in opposite directions.
And Kanna does not need her mirror to see that one day, her sister will fall, or finally break free, or just give up. And Kagura does not need her eyes to know that one day, her sister will fall, or finally be broken beyond repair, or finally fight back and die.
One day, Kanna's mirror will shatter. And Kagura's fan will break in two.
And then there will be nothing left for these two sisters, so alike and yet so different.