A/N: First REAL fanfiction written. Sorry if I suck at this, but please give a read. Tigger Warning, Dark Themes ahead, Read at own Caution. Relationship between female characters, don't like don't read. Constructive Feedback welcomed, but don't be rude, or mean-spirited criticizers will be blocked and comments will be deleted.

Pearl was sitting at the shore in front of the temple. The air was calm, a nice breeze fluttered around her, but the ocean was turbulent, rough, it crashed onto the sand harshly, ~like my thoughts~ Pearl couldn't help but notice,. She knew should have been in the temple, that Steven would be worried, but instead she curled her knees into her chest leaning her head to rest in the cradle her long legs made and rested her arms around herself. She was too lost in thought to notice Lapis sit next the her.

"I know why you're here" she spoke quietly, settling next to her, trying not the startle Pearl though she jumped anyway

"Oh, Lapis, you startled me" Pearl said turning her head slightly to watch her, hands clenched to fist, she looked back out into the ocean, content to ignore Lapis' comment.

"I know that she hurt you"

"Who?" Pearl replied, feigning innocence in her voice

"Jasper" Lapis' sneer was clear in voice, she practically spit the name out.

Pearl visibly flinched at the name. Lapis quickly calmed herself when she saw Pearl's reaction, "I have no clue what you are referring too. There is nothing wrong with me, and the only thing that Jasper has done to hurt me is superficial and will heal" Pearl replied thickly.

Lapis scoffed, "you came back different after your trip to the Beta Kindergarten, I know you saw her there, I know you fought her and I know that she hurt you more than in that fight, I know…"

Pearl whirled to face her, growling through clenched teeth, "You don't know anything…" but she couldn't keep the tears from her voice when she saw Lapis normally disinterested face awash with sympathy, she turned back to the sea, watched the waves crash into each other, "Why do you even care, you would like it if I got hurt, that Jasper did something to me, that she hurt me, wouldn't you? Do you want someone to hurt like you, to feel trapped like you did, do you want someone to wallow in pain and misery with you? You want us to feel like you did in that mirror don't you?" she shook her head with a dry laugh, almost defeated, "I didn't know that you where in there Lapis, and I wish I had known that you were, I would have freed you myself, I never thought that Rose..." she choked over her name "that she would keep anyone trapped, not after..." she trailed off

"I know" Lapis whispered, so low that it seemed to get lost into the wind

"I remember you, you know, from White Diamonds court" she reached to put her hand on her shoulder to comfort her, Pearl jerked back before she could make contact, she stood quickly, with her arms crossed over her stomach and looked down at Lapis, "You know nothing, I don't know you, I was never in White Diamonds court, I never saw you, Jasper didn't hurt me so you. know. nothing" she spewed this venomously before whirling away and marching back up the beach, leaving Lapis at the shore, hand still raised in comfort.

She sighed, curled her hand back into her chest in protection, looking out into the ocean, the "I'm sorry" was whispered to the ocean, carried off on the breeze, never to reach its intended party.

Pearl stumbled up the beach, thoughts consuming her, most of her grace lost during her confrontation with Lapis. ~What could she possible know, she wasn't that high up in Blue Diamond's court, was she? Anyways that was over 7,000 years ago, long before the war, she couldn't possibly recognize me. Why would she seek me out? What does she know? I'll have to talk to her, ugh, I shouldn't have walked away. What if she tells Steven? What would she tell Steven? ~ She worried her bottom lip, ran her fingers through her hair, she turned to walk back down the beach to Lapis, but her feet faltered, she couldn't decide whether to flee or confront.

~I'll talk to Lapis later, after Steven is asleep.~ Resolute spun on her heel, her usual flair gone, up the beach to the Temple, in the little time she has to reach the house she tries to compose herself, tries to bottle everything back up, she knew that if Steven or the other gems saw her this way they would be worried. She didn't want to worry them further, she knew that they were already concerned due to her defeat from her earlier battle from Jasper, but… she shook her head ~If only they knew, maybe they could help.~ She shook her head again, trying to rid herself of the thought, ~No, I can't think about that, no one knows and it will say like that for as ever long I can get away with it.~ She rubbed her gem and made her way inside.

She saw the mess that Amethyst and Steven had made in her absence, she sighed in relief, for once appreciative of the untidiness the two could generate and began to pick up the mess off the floor. Gathering Stevens dirty laundry and began placing them in the laundry bag, cleaning the empty plates and trash littering around Stevens room, and placing the dirty dishes into the sink, she would do them after she started his load of laundry, she began to get lost in the miniscule task, taking her ways from her thoughts for the moment, she was grateful, but she knew the peace would not last…

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Lapis moved back from the upcoming tides on the sand, no matter how much the water was her home she was still wary of the ocean, and the memories that it held. She sighed in defeat, her gem glowing on her back and let her water wings manifest; she rose in the sky and flew lazily towards the barn that she shared with Peridot, for the moment she was in no hurry to return.

She looked down at the temple and sighed again, ~Why do I even care? Why do I still want to help her, she obviously doesn't need nor want my help~ she huffed and looked away, she didn't like the Pearl had thought that of her, that she would be happy that Jasper had hurt her, that's far from what she wanted. She didn't trust most of the Crystal Gems, her history with them was not as good as it could have been, but she knew in her gem that Pearl truly had nothing to do with trapping her, and she trusted Stevens word. But more than that she knew Pearl, she remembered her eyes, the bright cerulean how breathtaking they looked, the utter defeat they held, was something that going to be seared in her gem forever.

When Pearl came back from her mission she recognized her posture, how defeated her eyes looked even though she tried to be strong, and though she didn't exactly know or understand what Pearl went through, was going through, she had been in Jasper's mind, had seen how depraved she thought, how her thoughts were hell-bent on destroying and hurting Rose Quartz anyway she could.

She pondered ~Maybe I was too forward?~ Lapis frowned at the thought, landing on the top of the barn ~I mean she doesn't know me, she thinks I hate her, I do hate her…don't I?~ she grunted in frustration, ran her fingers through her hair, remarkably similar to another gem, ~I know that that Pearl was her, I would know her face anywhere, how awful and dead her eyes looked,~ she shuddered and wrapped her hands around her, gems didn't get cold, especially not her, but it did help ~I remember the whispers of the other gems, of how she was treated, how cruel White Diamond was...the rumors that went the courts about what she did to her~ she shook her head and looked to the Temple, ~I'll try again, I'll help, if she knows I know, that I understand what it feels like to be trapped, that I know how she feels maybe I could help, it would be like helping Steven, right?~ her mind made up, she made her way into the barn to watch more CPH with Peridot ~I'll make sure she knows I'm here, and maybe we'll both find some peace…~