Lazy Love

By Funkiechick

Elle and Emmett were in a rut.

This thought struck Elle as she looked at her boyfriend, who'd been living with her for the past year, and was sitting on a floor in desperate need of vacuuming, in his ratty sweatpants, and his Resident Evil shirt from the tenth grade. He had gotten an Xbox 360 from Elle's parents for his birthday, and he had been doing nothing but playing Grand Theft Auto IV ever since.

Elle, despite it being reading break, had actually been studying non-stop since the first day off. She had not been wearing make up, hair product, or scents in…ages. Elle used to rely on putting herself nicely together to make her feel good while she studied, but now she had fallen into such a comfortable place with the act of it, and…well, with her boyfriend, that she hadn't been putting much effort in lately.

Emmett burped, "Excuse me!" Then he caused a five-car pile up. "Oh NERTZ."

Elle sighed. "Emmett, we have to talk."

"Uh huh, I took three hours off Halo to walk Bruiser, so I got fresh air, finished my case report outline, so I did something productive, and I picked up take out, so I fed us."

Elle raised her eyebrows very slowly, and was silent. This action made the entire room veeeerryyy icy.

Emmett cleared his throat, slowly looked up at his girlfriend, blinked, and then said, "I'll just pause then."

"Emmett, this is ridiculous! Look at us!" Elle cried melodramatically. "We look like trailer trash!"

Emmett looked at Elle's 300 hundred dollar jeans, 40 dollar American Apparel hoodie, and around their living room, which was tidy, and furnished with furniture that had had mannnyyy zeros after their prices. "Um, Elle—"

"TAKE OUT?" Elle snapped. Emmett jumped. "EMMETT!"

"You like take out!" He argued.

Elle huffed. "We've had take out every night for a week."

"So! We've been busy—"

"Well, right now, I HAVE got time. I am taking the night off from studying."

Emmett blanched, and looked weakly at his game. "…B…but…so many cars…left to explode."

"Emmett."

He tried another tactic. "You need to STUDY, Elle."

"I got my chip on my shoulder now, thanks, and right now, YOU are a permanent REALLY ANOYING HUGE CHIP."

Emmett stared at her. "I take it you are not pleased with me."

"No." She folded her arms across her chest.

"What did I do?"

"Well you know what Emmett, it'd be nice to come to a boyfriend, after a day of studying, who is nicely dressed for ONCE and actually thought of something nice and romantic to do for the evening!"

"That's not fair!" Emmett cried. "EVERY holiday this year has been what YOU wanted to do, I got a game, maybe the most perfect game of all time—"

"Oh come ON—"

"And you wont even let me enjoy it!"

Elle clenched her fists. "You have been playing it for DAYS on end."

"Well—"

"And I wasn't aware that the LOVELY holidays that I THOUGHT we had were so horrible for you, and only what I wanted to do!"

Emmett blushed. "ELLE! I didn't say that!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Did TOO!"

"Did…I am NOT doing this!" Emmett stood up. "Elle, we are not going to scream at each other, we're going to talk this out, like adults."

"Says the bozo in the video game shirt."

Emmett looked deeply hurt. "This is not a 'video game' shirt, this is a RESIDENT EVIL t-shirt that I got at ONE OF THE FIRST VIDEO GAME CONVENTIONS to ever tour REMOTELY close to my house, and I am one of EIGHT people that has one! It is a collector's item! It is faithful, and comfy, and right now, the only thing in this house I love that is NOT being crazy."

Elle's eyes widened and her mouth dropped open. "What. Did. You. Say."

Emmett narrowed his own. "You heard me."

"Ooohhh," Elle shook her head. "Oh it's ON."

"Oh IS it, little miss Fluffy Bunny."

Elle shrieked. "YOU DID NOT GO THERE!"

"I did!"

"I thought it was a COSTUME PARTY."

"Nice COSTUME pick!"

"Says the guy who told me at our one year anniversary dinner that you secretly couldn't take your eyes off of my butt!"

"ANYWAY," Emmett coughed. "That isn't the point. You think I'M a nerd for my t-shirt. What about the FIVE HUNDRED Elle magazines you keep in our storage facility, some of which are more than eight years old."

"Those are MEMORIES," Elle snapped. Serena and Pilar and Margot all got me those whenever I needed cheering up!"

"Well this shirt reminds me of something fun I got to do when I was young!"

"Well it looks nerdy!"

"Well magazines are a stupid present!"

"YOU'RE a stupid present!"

"That doesn't even make sense!"

They both stopped talking, and just glared. A lull. Both were panting slightly, faces flushed, eyes ablaze.

"Your pink leather jacket looks ridiculous," Emmett started.

"I didn't throw out your maroon loafers because Bruiser peed on them. I JUST DID IT BECAUSE I HATED THEM."

Emmett shook his head. "You work out to MARIAH CAREY."

"It doesn't mean I LIKE her, her beats just GO with the TREADMILL."

"Yeaaaah right."

"Well we can't ALL be avid Journey fans."

The situation turned grave. "How dare…" Emmett choked, and took a moment to compose himself. "Do not dare speak another word against Journey."

"Oh please—"

"Do not dare!!" Emmett shook his head at her. "There are LINES that have to be DRAWN, Elle Woods."

"I draw lines!"

"Sure you do, Miss. Follow My Boyfriend To Harvard!"

"Oh shut up! At least you got to meet me!"

"Yes, and right now, it was the greatest decision ever!" He bellowed sarcastically.

Their voices were rising, the room was getting hot.

"Emmett, I swear to God—"

"Do you mean the God of Hair, or Nails—"

"Just shut up!" Elle snapped. She pushed out her lower lip. "I want to actually go out and do something! And I want YOU—" She prodded his chest with her finger. "To dress up! To show off what you got! I want us to go out and have fun, and for you to stop being such a little ASSFACE and get OFF your butt, take me out to a good time, and—"

"Oh my god you're SO hot right now," Emmett said thickly, and he grabbed Elle in a tight embrace, and promptly kissed the daylights out of her.

And Elle momentarily kind of pretended to stop him, but then…you know, didn't. And slooowly they sank to the floor.

And lets just say Emmett got out of his ratty sweatpants.

Moments later, Elle was wearing Emmett's hoodie, and a pair of his boxers, while munching on some chow mein.

"So, how do I shoot people?" Elle asked, staring at the controller, which she was holding in her other hand.

"Here just—" Emmett reached over to help.

"AAAHHH!!" Elle screeched. "I shot a cop car! What do I do!"

"Accelerate baby!! ACCELERATE!"

And as Elle and Emmett played Grand Theft Auto through the night and ate take out, Elle decided maybe the rut wasn't so bad.

And hey, at least they were in it together now.

END