A Father, Once
It was a remarkably mild June day, the blue sky clear of any cloudy blemishes. The platform was bustling with the newly-arrived students from the Hogwarts express. Excited parents eagerly greeted their children, happily chatting about the events and occurrences of the past year. As the throng gradually began to thin out, a group of four young men were able to find their parents, who were also huddled together in the crowd.
"Mum! Dad!" James Potter shouted above the dull roar of a hundred other voices, attempting to capture his parents' attention. It must have worked, for the large group containing the Lupins, Potters, and Pettigrews managed to politely push and shove their way to meet the boys halfway. Remus and Peter both went over to their parents. Remus casually strolled over to his mother and father with a big smile while Peter scurried off excitedly to his.
"Oh, James, my boy! And Sirius! Have you gotten taller in the last six months, dear?" Mrs. Potter seemed to ramble a bit as she pulled each boy in for an intense, bone-crushing hug that only a Mother could really give, all the while remarking about how grown-up her boys looked.
Sirius had the good grace not to smirk too much in James' face, or rather, smirk down on James' face thanks to his most recent growth spurt. James, too, had the good grace not to punch Sirius - in the face, at least. Sirius was left painfully rubbing at his shoulder and cursing James' iron fist as the group began their trek back to the entrance. He couldn't help but realize that this was the first time in his six years at Hogwarts that he was not going to greet his family with a curt bow. It was the first time he would not be going back to Grimmauld place. Sirius could hardly suppress a grimace at the thought of his parent's house, and pushed it to the back of his mind.
He began to start a conversation with James about the Chudley Cannon's soon-to-be epic season. Of course, as is so often the case with life, things cannot often be simply pushed to the back of one's mind. Before a word even left Sirius' mouth, the all-too familiar sound of a throat clearing caused him to whip around.
Behind him was none other than Orion Black, fraternizer with Death Eaters, practitioner of the dark arts, and kicker of crippled puppies. Alright, perhaps Sirius embellished that last one. Regardless, his father now stood before him, tall and broad and just a little bit intimidating.
"Hello, Sirius" Orion said curtly, looking like he would rather be anywhere else in the world than in Sirius' company.
'Hah, the feeling is mutual' Sirius' inner monologue snidely remarked to itself. However, when the words reached his tongue they came out as more of a, "Hello, Sir."
Sirius and his father stood in awkward silence together for probably a full thirty seconds before the rest of the group materialized behind Sirius. They must have realized they were missing one and went back to find him. Mrs. Potter was red in the face at the sight of Orion, and both Mr. Potter and Mr. Lupin had their right hands on their wands. No doubt they remembered a scarce six months earlier when Sirius had shown up on the Potters' doorstep in the snow, bleeding and exhausted and clutching a broken arm to his chest, but smiling a mile wide. No doubt they remembered the screaming matches and harsh words from earlier times arriving home from Hogwarts. No doubt they had experience with the joy that was the House of Black. Orion's eyes narrowed at the new arrivals and he realized that he would do best to make his visit short before hexes started flying. Truly, Orion could not believe the manners of mudbloods and their sympathizers.
"Walburga and I," Orion did not say 'your mother,' "…decided to clean out the room you lived in. We disposed of many of the things you left behind and spent a great amount of time dealing with those sticking charms on the disgusting muggle paraphernalia you insisted on keeping. Unfortunately, this was the only thing we seem unable to dispose of by other means."
He reached into his robe pocket and pulled out a small, black cube.
"It seems that no matter the way we attempt to get rid of it, it just keeps coming back to your room. We assumed the only way to finally be done with it is to return the blasted thing to your hands." Orion said as he held out the cube to Sirius. A moment passed, and Sirius only eyed the thing warily.
"Well, what are you waiting for, child?" Orion spat. "I did not curse it, how poorly do you think of me?"
"Very poorly." Sirius' answer was short, but he snatched the cube out of Orion's hand, turned around, and started walking in the other direction. The group stayed back for a moment, apparently just wanting to make sure that Orion did indeed leave. There were fast footsteps behind Sirius as both Remus and James jogged to catch up to him.
"If you don't mind me asking, what is that thing, Padfoot?" Remus asked in a hushed tone, as if half-dreading what kind of pranking possibilities the thing that his friend held had. Sirius looked over at him with a cocky smile and pocketed the wholly unremarkable object.
"It's charmed," he explained proudly "to start playing the Cannons' theme song at a marvelously high decibel level whenever someone of poor taste enters the room. It's got a regenerating charm, too. If someone tries to break it, it'll just keep coming back."
Neither Sirius nor Remus seemed to catch the skeptical glance James shot their way, and together the three young men led their group of chatting parents back to Diagon Alley for some overdue dinner.
ºººººººººººº
Remus awoke with a start, looking around quickly to see what had awoken him from a – err…- rather lovely dream about the pretty new Ravenclaw seeker. Not that he would ever disclose that little detail to his mates, of course. Some jokes would never be allowed to die. All thoughts about seekers catching snitches fled his mind, however, we he managed to make out James' figure in the dark of the guest bedroom Remus and Sirius were staying in. He seemed to have been looking for something, found it, and left the room. Well, Remus was a Prefect and just because he was no longer at Hogwarts did not mean that he was disentitled from knowing the goings-on of his friends. He was vigilant - not nosy - thank you very much.
Remus followed the light scuffling noises from James' pajama bottoms into the living room, where his friend sat on the couch. James held the cube in front of him, seeming to ponder a decision.
"If that thing starts blaring out the Cannons' theme song and wakes everyone in this house up, I will stun you and leave you out back til morning," Remus said groggily. When James gave no smart-arse retort, Remus looked over to his friend.
"Do you realize what this is?" James asked.
"Yeah, Sirius explained earlier."
"He was lying. I've seen things just like this before. It's a memory box."
"A What? I've never hear of such a thing"
"I guess they're really rare. It's like a pensieve but smaller. It holds memories. You go and experience them." James seemed to stop and think for a second. "Moony…Sirius' dad gave him this…don't you want to know what's inside it?"
Remus would be lying if he said he didn't, but still, his nosiness knew a limit. "No, James, we can't open it. It's Sirius' box and we have to respect his privacy."
James seemed to digest that for a moment, then huffed and said, "Well Sirius is like my brother. What concerns him concerns me, so his privacy can go bugger off."
James set the cube down and tapped the top square. A puff of smoke arose from the box and the smoke twisted to ask, 'password?' James blanked for a moment before guessing, "Black?"
'Incorrect.' The smoke wrote back.
'Most Noble and Ancient?' James attempted again.
'Incorrect.'
"…Dead wall-mounted elf-heads?" James guessed. Remus shot him a withering look. James shrugged. It wouldn't be that weird for the Blacks.
'Incorrect.' Could smoke be sarcastic and annoyed? Somehow it just seemed like it was.
Both young men seemed stumped, until Remus' face lit up and he ventured, "Toujours Pur?"
'Correct.'
James turned to Remus and grinned. "Thought you wanted no part of this voyeuristic excursion, Moony?" He asked.
Remus only gave him a small smile back. "Well, he's like a brother to me, too."
The smoke grew at an alarming rate, and seemed to envelop them in a fog. Both young men looked around confusedly, throwing their hands out to clear it away to no avail. The two were just starting to panic when a shape began to coalesce from the fog.
ºººººººººººº
It was late, and a glowing, moonlit night. Remus and James were met with the sight of a man sprawled out in a lounge chair, newspaper pieces scattered around him. He did not seem to be sleeping soundly, turning and shifting a great deal. He was in some kind of parlor, and a door off to the left slammed suddenly, making Remus and James jump and shocking the young man out of his sleep.
"Sir? It's over now." A pretty young nursemaid with a wholesome face appeared through the door, holding a pile of silk sheets. The man blinked owlishly at her, as if trying to figure out if he was still dreaming.
"Sir?" The nursemaid tried again. "Would you like to hold your son?"
It was then that three sets of eyes were pulled down to the bundle held in the nurse's hands. The moving bundle.
"My…son? I have a son?" The man lost all appearances of drowsiness as he rushed over the young woman and gently took the infant from her hands. He held the baby close to his chest, then lifted it up, then held it to his chest again, all the while the smile never leaving his face. A very familiar smile, Remus and James couldn't help but note.
James nudged Remus with his elbow. "You recognize that bloke? 'Cause I think I do."
Orion Black gazed happily down at his newborn son, who already had a firm grasp on his finger and maybe his heart.
"Sir, what name shall I put on the registry?" The nursemaid asked patiently.
Orion paused for a moment, looked at the infant, and then answered, "Sirius. We'll call him Sirius Pollux Black." He held out the new life in his arms under the lamplight coming from the windows. "Sirius…because he will be my star." With a look of love on his face that was so foreign compared to anything James or Remus had ever seen on the man, Orion hugged the infant close to himself one last time, and the fog returned.
ºººººººººººº
This time when the smoke abated, the two young men found themselves in the halls of Grimmauld Place. They walked around the area cautiously, for it did not seem like the kind of place one takes a leisurely stroll around. As they neared the back of the hall they could make out voices yelling. Actually, one particular voice yelling. A voice that reminded Remus and James of many Howlers received during breakfast at Hogwarts.
Walburga Black was not what someone would define as pretty. A generous person would perhaps call her homely. She had wrinkles on her forehead from permanently drawing her face into a glaring scowl and her voice screeched like the sound of long nails on a chalkboard. Walburga stormed through the hallway angrily, clutching a very young Sirius by the arm and dragging him away from the kitchen. She stopped short when her path ran into that of her husband's. A slight look of relief crossed her face as she sighed.
"Oh thank goodness I found you. Your son was attempting to sneak sweets in the kitchen when he has been explicitly told not to do so. Deal with this how you see fit, I'll be in the drawing room away from immature antics."
Without another word she shoved Sirius in Orion's general direction and turned around back down the hallway, passing right by James and Remus but seeing neither of them.
Orion watched his wife leave the hall and turned back to face his three-year-old son, who was looking at the ground guiltily. Orion was silent for a moment, letting Sirius stew in his own trepidation about how he would be punished, before he kneeled down to the child's level.
"Sirius?"
"Yes, Papa?"
"Why were you in the kitchen before dinner?"
"Hung'y," was Sirius' meek answer.
"Why didn't you get Kreacher to make you something?"
"Keecher's scary."
Orion snorted at the answer. Indeed, Kreacher was a bit of a creepy little thing. It was then that Orion decided Sirius could wait another day to be punished. The child was a handful and that day would probably be very soon. For now, his son was going to eat. Orion put a smile on his face and used his hand to tilt Sirius' chin up.
"Well the way I see it, your Mother never said I couldn't go in the kitchen. I'm fairly hungry myself, so I might just come out with two pieces of licorice."
The look on his son's face alone was worth making a fool out of himself and Orion creeped into the kitchen, making a grand show out of hiding behind the walls and leering over obstacles. Sirius stuck behind him the entire time like a tiny little shadow, clamping his hands over his mouth to keep back the sounds of his gleeful laughter. He didn't do a very good job, and little snorts still resounded through the kitchen. Finally, Orion's hazardous trek to the kitchen cabinet was complete, and he pulled out two long pieces of black licorice. He kept one for himself and placed the other one in the hands of a very eager 3-year-old.
James and Remus looked at the scene in front of them, then at each other. James looked a bit lost, like he didn't know what to make of the loving father he saw in front of him when he had seen first hand what else that same cruel father had done. He didn't have much time to give it a lot of thought though, because the fog was back.
ºººººººººººº
Regulus fell hard onto the grass as his broom went flying the other way. The young boy clutched at the grass, trying hard not to cry in frustration. He wanted to learn how to the fly. Sirius, who at five could already zip around on his miniature broom, wasn't helping by making it look so easy.
"Come on, Reg. Get back on your broom. If you fall off you just gotta get right back on."
Regulus shook his head petulantly.
"Reg, don't be a nancy-boy. We have to have two people for yard quidditch."
Regulus only huffed at him and ran away to go sulk back at the house. James laughed. Remus felt a little bit bad. Just a little. Sirius groaned and maneuvered his broom to the ground so he could gather up the quidditch balls since it was impossible to play with one person. Just as he reached for the junior-sized quaffle, a strong gust blew by him. Sirius looked up in surprise to see his father hovering on a sturdy-looking broom, eyeing him expectantly.
"Well, child, are you just going to stand there all day or are we going to play some quidditch? You know I was a beater in my day."
Sirius grinned as he raised his broom and launched the quaffle into the air, the other balls following suit. Father and son zoomed around the field for nearly an hour until Orion decided it was time to reel the game in as the sun was setting.
"Sirius, would you like to try out my broom? It's new and I think you'll find it's a bit more fun than yours. You just have to hold on very tight."
Sirius thought for a second to mention that Mother never lets him or Regulus ride on adult brooms, but neither Mother nor Regulus was there at the moment and it was his father offering, so there was really no harm. Flying around the field and up into the clouds, Sirius gripped the back of his father's coat tightly to stay on, leaned his forehead against Orion's back and thought there was no better feeling in the world.
ºººººººººººº
Sirius attempted to be as quiet as possible as he opened the back door to the house and trudged up the stairs. Apparently he was not quiet enough, for as he rounded the corner he was met with the stern eyes of his father. Sirius stopped dead in his tracks, one hand flying up to staunch the blood flowing from his nose.
"You know, it's funny that I saw Regulus go up the stairs not enough five minutes ago, looking even worse for wear than you. Care to explain?" Sirius knew better than to try and argue or charm his way out of this one.
"Well, you see, Father, it's all Regulus' fault, really." Sirius stammered out. He was seven now, and quite grown up in his opinion, but he was still intimidated by his Father. Probably always would be. Sirius saw one of Orion's eyebrows rise up in disbelief and he felt the need to at least try to defend himself.
"Regulus was making fun of me, saying that Ramolla Carnes and I are gonna get married. But she's a girl, Dad. And she smells. I told him to go away but he wouldn't and he just kept pestering me. I called him a baby who can't even fly on a broom and he just went off and clocked me one!" Sirius voice had reached an indignant squeak by the end of his explanation.
"Regulus started the row, he threw the first punch?" Orion needed to have the clear truth on this one.
"Yes." Sirius answered honestly.
"Alright then." Orion said simply and he kneeled down and used his want to heal Sirius' broken nose and other minor cuts. Afterwards, he sent Sirius back upstairs to his room to get cleaned up for dinner. As Sirius bounded up the stairs he couldn't help but note the presence of a small bit of blood on the banister.
"Did you heal Regulus up her, Father?" Sirius asked out of curiosity.
"No. I didn't heal him at all."
Boys needed to learn their lessons the hard way, sometimes.
ºººººººººººº
Sirius slammed the book shut as he heard the doorknob to the office rattle. He tried to find its right place on the shelf, but was just too late. Caught. Sirius turned around to face his father who was staring down at him unhappily. Orion leaned over and picked the book out of Sirius' small hands.
"What is this, child?"
"It's a book, father. Brewster's 1001 potions."
"I can see that, Sirius. I mean, what are you doing in my office without permission?"
Sirius seemed to stall for a minute. "I like the books you have. They're interesting. Much more interesting than any of the books Tutor Reinhart gives me for lessons."
Like water down a drain, the anger left his father's face and made room for something else. "Sirius, do you actually understand what you read in these books?"
"Kind of," Sirius shrugged. "More or less, yeah."
Orion's face cracked into a smile. He set the book back on in its proper place and took Sirius by the shoulder. He walked over to a rather nondescript looking bookcase in the corner. Orion tapped three times on the third book from the right on the forth shelf, but nothing happened. At least, nothing seemed to happen until Orion walked right through the bookshelf, disappearing. Sirius stayed back as long as he could but Orion's light grip on his arm wouldn't let up. When Sirius finally did see what lied behind the bookshelf, he wondered why he'd hesitated at all.
Books. There were thousands of books. It was a secret library. There were potion stands set out in the center of the room and a whole wall of magical trinkets and gadgets. James made a snide remark about wondering how many of these books covered dark magic and Remus was about to reprimand him for being so judgmental, then remembered the type of people's house they were currently in. The wonder was openly expressed on Sirius' face as he tried to take in everything before him. Orion placed a hand on his shoulder and leaned down to Sirius' eye level.
"Do you know why I showed you this?"
Sirius shook his head.
"You're smart, child. It would be a crime for me to not allow you to feed your mind. The only people who know about this library are you and me. Do you know why I chose you?"
Sirius shook his head again.
"Because you're my favorite."
ºººººººººººº
Sirius' knees shook ever-so-slightly underneath the table. Walburga and Regulus had both already left after dinner, having more important matters to attend to, and leaving Sirius and his father alone. Sirius was doing his best to hide the nervous shaking, but really the whole house was probably rocking. Orion, of course, noticed.
"You'll be fine tomorrow, Sirius." He reassured.
"Yeah, I know. But…were you nervous on your last night before Hogwarts?" The eager eleven-year old tried not to seem too desperate for reassurance.
"Of course I was, child! Everyone was and is and will be. I was so worried that I would mess up; that I would miss the train or get poorly sorted. Imagine my parents learning that I had been put into Gryffindor or Hufflepuff!" Orion let out a small laugh at the thought of his childhood worries that had seemed so overwhelming at the time.
"Does everything change when you start school?"
"Yes. But it's for the better, Sirius. You'll meet new people and gain marvelous connections. You'll learn new things; maybe even get to work with dangerous creatures. You will make lifelong friends." Orion seemed almost wistful as he spoke of the Hogwarts experience.
James smirked at Remus. He highly doubted that a bunch of mudbloods and sympathizers like the Marauders were exactly what Orion had in mind that night at the dinner table. The scene started to fade as the fog returned yet again.
"I'm getting really sick of this damned smoke." Cough, cough.
"It was your idea. Suck it up."
ºººººººººººº
"SHAME OF MY BLOOD! I rue the day I birthed you. If I had know what kind of muggle-loving half-wit you would turn into I WOULD HAVE DROWNED YOU IN THE BATH WATER WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE!"
It was like nails on a chalkboard. Remus and James cringed as Walburga's voice screeched at super-human decibel levels.
Sirius' yells back were not much better, reaching their own hoarse high-pitch.
"Well FINE. I rue the day I came out of you, YOU EVIL BITCH."
Not enough a face-burning slap was gonna stop Sirius this time. This time, Sirius was gonna tell the hag exactly what he thought about her. Or, well, he would have, except that Orion chose that moment to step in.
"Walburga, I will handle this. Leave the room." Orion demanded and Walburga obeyed. She may have been a headstrong woman, but she was an obedient wife.
When his mother left the room, Sirius turned back to face his father warily. Though he was far beyond being affected by the punishments doled out by his parents, he was no glutton for pain and therefore preferred his mother's punishments just a bit more than his father's. However, to his surprise, when Sirius hazarded a glance over to his father, there was no malice. There was definitely annoyance, but none of the hatred or disgust which had seemed so prevalent throughout that summer.
"What are you planning on doing, old man?" Sirius figured he might as well just speed this up and get to the part where he storms out of the house to go to James' place.
He was met with silence.
"Well?" Sirius tried again.
It was then that Orion did something Sirius had not seen him do in six years. He laughed. He laughed and said, "I'm sorry, I was having trouble hearing you after I was nearly deafened two minutes ago."
To say that Sirius was speechless really wouldn't quite cut it, but that's what he was. Orion smirked at him and wandered over to the liquor cabinet whereupon he grabbed a gaudily-decorated bottle of fine 1867 Scotch along with two glasses. He nodded his head in such a way as to tell Sirius to come sit with him near the fireplace. Sirius paused for a moment, unsure of whether or not to trust this different side of his Father. Shrugging his shoulders, Sirius also plodded over to the fireplace. His father poured him a glass from the bottle and the two sat in a semi-comfortable silence until Sirius couldn't stand it anymore.
"Alright, spill. What in the Hell is going on?"
Orion looked over to his son and smiled, but there was no real humor behind it. "You know, child, that you are a dragon-sized thorn in my side? You do the opposite of anything I say, you break my rules, you spend your time with terrible influences, and you consort with those of inferior blood. I should say that half of my gray hairs have been caused by your misdeeds. You are the most stubborn and determined fool I have ever met"
Sirius snorted. OK, there was what he had been expecting; a nice hot dish of ridicule mixed with some shame and little disappointment on the side for flavor. "Yes, that's nothing I haven't heard from you before. Anything new? Want to add any -?"
"Sirius. Let me finish. What I have wanted to say is that I…well, I admire that about you."
Sirius' disbelieving "You What?" synced up perfectly with James and Remus'.
"I wish I had your determination or your stubbornness. Granted, it has caused me a great deal of stress because you choose to use those traits for rather unsavory activities, but the strength of will you possess is something that many men would admire, myself included. I'm no fool, Sirius. I know we have not gotten along these last six years, and I know that you are planning on leaving when you graduate Hogwarts. So tonight, just let me have a drink with my son and we won't talk about blood, about duty, about any of it."
Orion raised his glass to meet Sirius', who clinked his glass back in a toast. Sirius felt numb. A part of him hated his parents for doing this, for pushing him away just to reel him back in. Another part of him just wanted to spend time with his father while things were peaceful, so Sirius finished his scotch and asked for another glass.
"You know, Sirius" Orion said to the fifteen-year-old who was staring lazily at the fire, empty glass in hand. "…you're still my favorite."
ºººººººººººº
James and Remus fell over each other and made a horrible ruckus as the black fog spat them out like something that tasted horrible. Remus stood up and then immediately sat back down, blankly wondering if he should be reaching for a rubbish bin. James, meanwhile, was trying to disentangle himself from the coat rack he'd run into. Finally, the two managed to settle their stomachs enough to realize that they were back in James' living room in the current time. James managed to stand up and went to sit on the couch, Remus followed suit. Both seemed a bit bewildered by their recent experience. James was the first to speak.
"You know, Moony, I never understood Sirius' loyalty to his parents. I mean, how can you love someone who treats you like rubbish? He would always go back to them, up til the time last Christmas. His mother was horrible and his father wasn't much better…I thought. Now I don't know what to think." James admitted.
Remus cleared his throat, looked at James, then at the little, unremarkable cube. "Sirius loved his parents and Regulus because they were all happy once, as a family. Before Hogwarts and this war and the death eaters and the whole mess that has been stirred up, they were a family. It's hard to leave behind people who loved you once, even if they end up being awful to you. It's hard to leave behind your father."
"Well said, Moony." A new voice said behind them. Neither James nor Remus bothered turning around to see who had spoken, they simply continued staring at the box.
"He was my Father, once."
Author's Note: Well, that was my first fanfic I've written in over four years, so I might be a little rusty. Please leave constructive feedback if you can.