A/N: I own nothing.
Realizations
"Any changes?" I asked, already anticipating the answer.
"No, sir," Weimar answered disappointedly. "Nothing yet. The second squad just returned from their survey, and the third squad is about to be deployed again."
Three months had passed since we defeated Kuja, and there was still no word from Zidane. Mind you, he would get a good scolding from me when he did decide to return.
"Captain," Weimar said.
"What?"
"Maybe it's time that we assumed the worst?"
"Absolutely not!" I scoffed, shaking my fist angrily. "We must persevere! Not only for Zidane, but for our queen's sake! We will not give up!"
How could one of my knights be so heartless? Did he not see the anguish in Her Majesty's face? Could he not feel her pain?
"Get back to your station, soldier," I said gruffly. "I must check security indoors."
"Yes, sir," Weimar said with a solemn salute.
I walked through the courtyard of the castle and breathed in the cool night air. Winter was fast approaching, and the chill made wearing armor even worse than it already was. The repairs of Alexandria progressed smoothly, all thanks to our beloved queen. She kept herself busy in town from dawn till dusk, and I admired her ever more so for it.
Queen Garnet was a woman to be admired. It pained me to think of her as an adult, but it was nonetheless true. Travelling with Zidane and losing him had made her who she was today.
Without even realizing it, I found myself outside of the queen's door. Beatrix wasn't standing guard, so she must have been in the room with Her Highness. Not wishing to disturb them, I stood at attention outside.
My thoughts drifted to Master Vivi. He now lived with the other black mages and the Genomes; he was keeping his promise to tell his tale to all of them. I also worried about his life span. He was told that he would live longer than most of the black mages, but it would not be by much. Losing Master Vivi would bring even more pain to Her Majesty, to us all.
The door behind me opened, revealing Beatrix to me, and my thoughts of sadness instantly disappeared.
"Any changes, darling?" she asked quietly, closing the door.
"Nothing," I answered.
Her forehead creased with worry, and I knew that I mirrored her expression. The queen was going to worry herself sick. She had been strong for months, but sooner or later, that strength would diminish.
"Is she sleeping?" I asked.
"Not yet," Beatrix replied. "She said she wanted to be alone for a while."
"I'll update her later then."
Beatrix yawned widely. "I think I'll—"
"Captain!" Haagen called, running up to us.
"Quiet! The queen is trying to rest," I snapped, my tensions flaring again.
"What is it, Haagen?" my wife asked with concern.
"Forgive me for the noise, sir, but Squad Two found something in the Iifa Tree!"
"You've found Zidane?" Beatrix and I asked together.
Haagen hesitated for a moment. "Not exactly, sir."
He then revealed what appeared to be a torn sheath and a fragment of a blade. It took me a few minutes to register what I was looking at: the remains of Zidane's dagger. This was the same knife that the queen named herself after and that she cut her hair with on our journey.
Haagen placed the dagger in my hands, and I realized the worst had happened. I knew then that I had lost my friend, my comrade. My heart ached, not only for me, but for my queen.
"Steiner," Beatrix said quietly. "Should I inform Her Majesty?"
"No," I breathed. My eyes felt hot with unshed tears, but I had to be strong for Her Highness. "I will tell her."
"You may go, Haagen. I'll wait out here for you, Steiner."
"No, I'll meet you in our room."
She nodded. "Alright, darling," she said, kissing my cheek. I knew she meant for the gesture to give me strength, but it did the opposite.
I waited until Beatrix was out of sight before knocking on the door.
"Come in," I heard the queen say quietly.
When I saw the moonlight on her face, I suddenly realized what a toll had been taken on her. I had never seen her cry, but now, her eyes were red and glassy. There were dark circles under her eyes; I wondered when she had last gotten sleep undisturbed by nightmares.
"Your Majesty," I said, saluting. "I have news."
"What news, Steiner?" she asked, sitting up slowly.
The sag in her shoulders made her look so fragile that it was hard to form my next words. "They've found a possession of Zidane's."
Her eyes lit up. "What? What is it?"
I brought the dagger from behind my back, and her face fell once more. "Your Majesty, he could still be alive. This means nothing."
She held her hand out for the knife silently; I might as well have given her pieces of her heart. I was unsure of what to say. All I knew was that I didn't want to leave her alone.
"The, um, Third Squad is heading back. Maybe we'll find him, Your Highness."
She did nothing but stare at the blade, as if she were waiting for it to reassemble itself.
That was when I saw the first tear fall. It remained on the blade, like an embedded crystal.
"Your Highness—"
"Please leave me, Steiner," she whispered, as she lay down again. She clung to the knife as if it were her lifeline.
"As you wish, my queen," I answered, as I shut the door quietly behind me.
Later in my room, I watched my wife sleeping, and I realized how grateful I was to have her love. One last realization hit me as I drifted to sleep. The grief that the queen was experiencing was not her's; it was Dagger's.