Author's Note: Happy Birthday Dwight Shultz! Whoo!
As I already noted, today is Dwight Shultz's birthday. Happy Birthday to him, and all of us Murdockians will have a wonderful time celebrating the father of all Murdockness.
Oh, and this story really has no meaning, it's just a funny little drabble that I came up with, which explains the randomness.
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Face was hungry. Face was tired. Face was getting his skull repeatedly bashed into the wall.
Ok, so maybe (drunkenly) picking a fight with an equally drunken man wasn't the way to go. Then again, the man had purposely bumped into Face, and called Face an expletive as he stumbled away.
This led into Face calling the bum a much worse expletive. And of course, a bar fight ensued.
The big lug swung at Face, but Face ducked it and threw two punches at him (it sounds stupid, but Face was drunk). The man ducked, causing Face's fists to crash into a mirror.
While Face moaned in pain, the opponent took the opportunity to shove Face into a wall- and start slamming his head into it.
Face would've had much more critical injuries had Murdock not decided to come into the bar and snatch Face away. The drunk brute barely had enough time to realize that Face wasn't there anymore as Murdock and Face made their escape.
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"Murdock. This isn't necessary."
"Mmm-hmm."
"Hey. Listen to me-"
"I've been doing that for the past ten minutes, and you don't seem to be giving me any hope that you'll shut that fat mouth of yours."
Face growled in frustration as Murdock pulled another shard of glass from his fist. "I told you, I'm fine."
"You need another definition of 'fine', Face," Murdock said as he ran a wet dishcloth over Face's knuckles, clearing the blood so that he could see what he was doing. "When the Colonel sees this, he's probably gonna say something along the lines of 'stupid'.
Face sighed, then hissed as Murdock pulled out some more glass. "I know. I was just... mad."
Murdock shook his head, his usually cheerful demeanor gone. "Not an excuse, Face. You know how to control your anger. So what got to ya about him?"
Face shrugged. "I had a bit too much beer, alright? He was picking on me, and-"
"-and you swung at him drunkenly, your fist coincidently colliding into a glass mirror," Murdock finished. "At least you don't have a black eye from the guy, you're a good fighter, I'll give you that."
Face hung his head, wincing as another shard of class was pulled from his fist. He risked a glance at his raw hand, then regretted it as the sight of his bloody knuckles made his stomach turn.
"I suppose the Colonel won't be too happy," Face said aimlessly. "Ya think?"
Face had to chuckle at his own mutterings. "I wonder what my punishment will be." "Don't stress about it, at least you won't be on KP," Murdock said. "That's my department. You couldn't fry eggs to save your life."
"Hey!" Face exclaimed.
Murdock shrugged as he pulled out a roll of gauze and began to wrap it around Face's left hand. "It's true."
Face used his other hand to rub his face. "Man, I'm in trouble."
"Of course you are, Face. And I'm counting on that." Murdock finished wrapping Face's left hand up, then cut the end of the gauze lengthwise, tying the two strips together. He reached for Face's other hand and began to wrap that up.
"What?" Face asked, pulling his already bandaged-up hand towards himself.
"If the Colonel is busy being mad at you, I won't get yelled at so much," Murdock said as he finished wrapping up Face's other hand.
"What're you going to do?" Face asked, half afraid and half offended at being a deterrent for the Colonel's anger.
"Oh, nothing," Murdock said in a sigh as he finished bandaging Face's hand. "Just be quiet and be a good little trooper."
Face let out a low growl as he slumped in his chair. "Fine."
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Hannibal's voice rang out from the kitchen, where he and Face stood.
"What were you thinking?"
Face winced as Hannibal yelled into his face. "I wasn't, sir."
"That's right, you weren't! If you got jailed, Lieutenant, they would've immediately found out that you were a part of the A-Team, and you'd be arrested!" Hannibal shifted from being insanely mad to a man at his wits end, and Face wished that he were yelling at him again.
Silence ensued, making Face feel even guiltier.
"I'm sorry, sir," Face finally said, avoiding eye contact with his Colonel.
"'Sorry' wouldn't get you out from a military prison," Hannibal said quietly. "Lieutenant, look at me."
Face obeyed, even though everything in his body told him to turn his gaze back to the ground.
"You're on bathroom duty for a month," Hannibal said, and Face inwardly cringed. "Everything. Toilets, sinks, mirrors, batht-"
Hannibal was interrupted by B.A. yelling, "I'M GONNA KILL YOU, FOOL!" and a series of crashes coming from upstairs.
Finally, a very pink B.A. stomped down the stairs, successfully detaining a protesting Murdock into a fireman's carry.
"Hannibal, make him put me down," Murdock whined.
"No way, he gonna get what he deserves," B.A. said as he began to take Murdock outside.
"B.A., stop," Hannibal commanded. "What did Murdock do?"
It was quite obvious what Murdock had done, but Hannibal wanted to know the details anyway.
"The fool painted me pink while I was asleep," B.A. growled. "With non-washable paint!"
Hannibal turned to Face. "Well, now. It looks like you have a partner to clean the bathrooms with."
"What?" Murdock shrieked. "Hannibal-"
Hannibal gave Murdock a deceiving smile. "Murdock. You have enough time to create trouble, you have enough time to pay the consequences."
Murdock sank dejectedly in B.A.'s arms.
"Oh," Hannibal continued, "and you're going to have to repay B.A. by cooking any meal he wants until he washes all of the paint off."
Murdock sighed, resigned to his fate.
Hannibal nodded satisfactorily. "Good. Any questions?"
B.A. raised his free arm.
"Yes, B.A.?"
"Can I paint the fool any color I want?"
Hannibal paused, thinking about it for a moment. "Fine, you can do that, as long as you're in the yard when you're doing it."
"NOOO!" Murdock screeched as B.A. happily carried him to the door. "NOOO! FACE, HELP ME!"
Face held his hands up. "I can't, Murdock, my hands are tied."
Murdock let out another yell, then started fighting against B.A. as The door slammed behind them.
Face turned to Hannibal. "That was really cruel, Hannibal."
Hannibal shrugged and smiled as he stuck a pink cigar in his mouth, the screams of Murdock echoing into the house. "Murdock colored all of my socks and underwear pink, not to mention he painted all of my cigars pink. He chose a time to do it when I was mad at you instead of being completely focused on him. He deserves it."
Face marveled that Murdock wasn't in ICU, nobody touched Hannibal's cigars.
"Don't you have bathrooms to clean, Lieutenant?"
Face snapped out of his reverie. "Yes, sir."
"If you don't do them right I may just have to color you pink."
Face didn't even respond to that, but simply ran towards the nearest bathroom.