Peppermint Snow, Chapter 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or anything that you recognize that is copywrited. I have no desire to make money off of this story I just wanted to share this fanfiction with people because I thought that people might be interested in reading it.
Friday
(4:32 pm): Right behind you. This traffic is crazy af
Unknown Number (4:35 pm): I'm sorry who is this?
(4:35 pm): tiny white toyota behind you. Your phone number on the back of your truck. You gotta fix that before some weirdo starts calling or texting
Unknown Number (4:35pm): Like you?
(4:46pm): Hell no I'm too awesome to be a weirdo
Unknown Number (4:47pm): Right and that's why you start texting random phone numbers on the first worn down truck you see in the middle of rush hour
(4:46 pm): touche
(4:37 pm): why do you want to sell such an awesome truck in the first place? It seems fine to me
Unknown Number (4:39 pm): you have clearly never driven this horrifying demon from the deepest pits of hell before
(4:39 pm): O.O what has this piece of human made machinery done to deserve such a title.
Unknown Number (4:40 pm): long story short this car has been subjected to multiple raccoon attacks
(4:42 pm): ok, now you have to tell me more. There is no way I am not hearing this story
Unknown Number (4:43 pm): I share this truck with my brother and he has a habit of leaving his windows all the way down when he gets out and he is not the neatest person in the world so usually there's a bunch of half eaten happy meals everywhere
Unknown Number (4:44 pm): It is not a pretty sight in here
(4:45 pm): ah that would explain it. It sucks though because from out here it looks like an old pickup truck you see in the movies that take place in a dune ranch in the deep south.
(4:45 pm): crap now I'm thinking about cheesy teenage-girl-with-a-special-horse movies. Gott why does Elizabeta insist on watching those things it's basically the same plot over and over again
Unknown Number (4:47 pm): I'm pretty sure that most of those movies are about some main character who's a special little snowflake who no one gets but that one horse that's also super special
(4:47 pm): EXACTLY
(4:48 pm): You know what we should do? Go out, get a beer, and have an indepth conversation about B rated movies
Unknown Number (4:49 pm): What? No! I don't drink, plus we don't know a thing about each other
(4:50 pm): We know eachothers phone numbers :)
Unknown Number (4:51 pm): and I'm going to let Alfred take full responsibility for that
(4:51 pm): Who's Alfred
Unknown Number (4:53 pm): My lovely twin that insisted that the best way to sell my car was to paint the words 'For Sale' on the rear windshield with my phone number right under it.
Unknown Number (4:54 pm): I have so far received correspondence from five different people and not one of them were at all interested in buying my truck.
Unknown Number(4:54 pm): You included
(4:55 pm): Ya but i'm helping you
Unknown Number (4:55 pm): helping me how?
(4:55pm): I'm keeping a monster called boredom at bay bc traffic is shitty and no one should suffer alone
Unknown Number (4:58 pm): Mon dieu I can't believe you
(4:59 pm): Boredom is very deadly, I can assure you
(4:59 pm): Seriously I'VE BEEN HERE FOR LIKE 40 MINUTES NOW WTF IS GOING ON
Unknown Number(5:00 pm): I think there was a car crash or something up ahead :/
Unknown: It's the only reason I can think of. This highway isn't usually this packed even during rush hour
(5:01 pm): naaaa it's probs construction
Unknown Number (5:02 pm): I check before I left the house to see if there was any construction on this road. There shouldn't be any
(5:03 pm): Fine maybe it was an epic car chase that ended with helicopters and a police barricade like one of those cheesy hollywood action movies
Unknown Number (5:03 pm): ?
(5:03pm): Ya ur right too out there
(5:04 pm): NO WAIT it was a stampede of angry emus. I knew those things looked shifty. Did you know that the Australian army fought against emus in Humanity's first interspecies war in like the 30s?
Unknown Number (5:06 pm): first off how do you know that, second off emus live in Australia I don't think they'd be anywhere near Massachusetts
(5:07 pm): not going to lie I have spent way too much time on wikipedia
(5:07 pm):maybe they ran away from the Zoo
Unknown Number (5:09 pm): I doubt it. The Zoo is literally on the other side of town. If it wasn't a car crash then maybe a tree fell over or something?
(5:10 pm): aw come on you gotta be more creative than that
Unknown Number (5:14 pm): uhhhh maybe a UFO crashed into earth and just happened to land on this highway? Idk that's not original I'm not very good at this
(5:15 pm): Don't be too hard on yourself you just need some practice and inspiration
(5:16 pm): oh oh oh
(5:20 pm): maybe a bird flying over the highway suddenly had a heart attack in mid air and plummeted onto the windshield of a random truck carrying oil or something in its cargo and the drivers get momentarily distracted because a bird just fell out of the sky and that doesn't just happen and then the next thing they know they're suddenly two seconds away from smashing into the car in front of them and so they slam on the breaks but they're too late and they crash and the truck tips over and all of the oil bursts out and now the police and other authorities are in a race against time to get everything cleared out of the way before something causes the oil stuff to explode
Unknown Number (5:23 pm): Where do you come up with this stuff you sound like a more sophisticated version of my brother
(5:25 pm): easy in my brain. Where all of my other awesome ideas are manufactured
(5:25 pm): Your bro sounds awesome by the way. Just like you :P
Unknown Number (5:26 pm): I'm sure you two would be great friends if you ever met
(5:27 pm): i wish man but at this rate we'll be out of this traffic by the time we turn fifty
Unknown Number (5:28 pm): I'm going to give it one more hours tops
(5:29 pm): you're probably right but it's sooooo boring sitting around and doing nothing. It should be illegal for jams to last this long
(5:29 pm): haha jams
Unknown Number (5:29 pm): Very funny
Unknown Number (5:30 pm): You're not doing nothing, you're texting me… for some reason
(5:31 pm): I told you it's to make sure that you don't get killed by boredom
(5:31 pm): So what brings you out on the road ways on this fine… grey day? Idk December always has shitty weather. Whatever, just tell me about yourself
Unknown Number (5:32 pm): seriously?
(5:32 pm): Aw come on we've known each other for so long now I should at least know a little bit about what you do in your life
Unknown Number (5:33 pm): we haven't even been txting for more than twenty minutes
(5:34 pm): Actually it's been a little more than an hour
Unknown Number (5:34 pm): What seriously? It doesn't feel that long
(5:35 pm): Time flies when you're having fun
Unknown Number (5:36 pm): Well it doesn't matter. We've only known of each other's existence for an hour, I don't even know what you look like and you probably don't know what I look like
Unknown Number (5:37 pm): JESUS CHRIST
Unknown Number (5:37 pm) WHY DID YOU DO THAT
(5:38 pm): haha ur cute when you're startled
Unknown Number (5:38 pm): STOP HONKING AT ME
(5:39 pm): I wanted to see your face but your rear window's blocked by your phone number :(
Unknown Number (5:39 pm): I will have you know that I am glaring at you right now
(5:39 pm): I figured
(5:39 pm): URG THIS IS TAKING FOREVER
Unknown Number (5:39 pm): It hasn't been that long
(5:40 pm): IT'S BEEN TWO YEARS
Unknown Number (5:40 pm): *hours
(5:40 pm): What's the difference?
Unknown Number (5:41 pm): You seem to have a strange idea of how time works
(5:41 pm): time isn't real
Unknown Number (5:41 pm): you're not real
Unknown Number (5:41 pm): Sorry that was uncalled for
(5:41 pm): XD course I'm real I'm too devilishly handsome not to be
Unknown Number (5:41 pm): You know what nevermind I take it back ur not real
(5:42 pm): gasp I'm hurt
(5:42 pm): So tell me, what was my mysterious truck driver planning on doing today before you were trapped by traffic?
Unknown Number (5:43 pm): …
(5:46 pm): Alright I'll go first. I'm out here because my creepy roommate was getting on my nerves with his creepy smiley smiles that promise death if you cross him and I made up an excuse that I needed to go out and buy some milk or maybe it was more peanut butter whatever it was I just had to get out of there after he started talking about how many ways you can kill someone with a spork
(5:47 pm): my roommate is a criminologist major and I am 100% sure he's just in there so he can pull off his own high stakes crimes
Unknown Number (5:48 pm): oh wow O.O that's actually mildly terrifying
(5:48 pm): ikr
Unknown Number (5:48 pm): so did you just plan on driving around until he leaves your house or something?
(5:48 pm): ya i was planning on driving around town and then head to the grocery store and just pick up whatever's the cheapest
(5:49 pm): But I'm probably going to have to turn around and go back now because THIS IS TAKING WAY TOO LONG AND I HAVE A TEST TOMORROW I HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED STUDYING FOR
Unknown Number (5:49 pm): that's rough
(5:49 pm): yeah but enough about me, I want to hear about you
Unknown Number (5:52 pm): oh, well I have a broken chicken coop at home. I'm not really sure how it happened but the point is that there is a basketball sized hole in the wire fence and If I don't get it fixed soon there is a very real possibility that they can wander off or the neighbor's dogs will eat them all. Thankfully Alfred's watching them while I went out to get the replacement fencing or this traffic would probably mean my chickens would be dead by the time I get home
(5:52 pm): U HAVE CHICKS U LIL FUK THAT'S AWESOME
(5:52 pm): You're brother is an angle for taking care of the little birdies while you're away
Unknown Number (5:53 pm): hehehe you seem passionate about birds :D that's actually kind of refreshing for me. I don't know many people who like birds. Probably because I'm friends with a bunch of night owls who would rather curse at birds for waking them up in the morning with their singing
(5:54 pm): Of course I like lil itty bitty birdies they are literally the tiniest cutie patooties in the world and nothing you say can convince me otherwise.
(5:55 pm): sucks my parents don't like the idea of having birds at their place. Apparently having pets is too much responsibility for me. So, because I was feeling like doing something just to spite him I bought an 8 ft wooden statue of a baby chick and set that baby up where the christmas trees supposed to go like two years ago
Unknown Number (5:56 pm): O.O where did you get a statue of a giant chick?
(5:56 pm): haha funny story involving a shit ton of potato related bribes
Unknown Number (5:56 pm): Do I even what to know?
(5:56 pm): you probably don't
(5:57 pm): He's awesome. The statue of the baby chick. I named him Gilbird.
Contact Created For: Birdie
Birdie (5:57 pm): aww that's a cute name
(5:59 pm): ikr I named him after the awesomest king of awesome who ever lived
Birdie (5:58 pm): …
Birdie (5:59 pm): … I don't really know how the name Gilbird is connected to Elvis
(5:59 pm): O_O no just no
Birdie (5:59 pm): XD sorry my dad's a huge Elvis fan and I have heard him describe Elvis as the awesomest king of awesome who ever lived on more than one occasion
(6:00 pm): yeah no it's not Elvis :P I named him after myself
Birdie (6:00 pm): Egoistic much?
(6:01 pm): WHat? No. well maybe. Idk it just sounded cool at the time and it honestly still does
Birdie (6:03 pm): ok I'm going to assume you're actual name is not gilbird, and probably doesn't have 'bird' in it so do you have 'gil' somewhere in your name? Not that I'm trying to pry or anything. You don't have to answer that if you don't want to.
(6:04 pm): mmmm I think I'm going to keep my name a secret for now no offence but even though you are an awesome person, we did just meet over txt
Birdie (6:05 pm): that's fine, I'm not very comfortable telling you my name either right now
(6:05 pm): OH RIGHT BEFORE I FORGET YOUR CONTACT NAME IS NOW BIRDIE
(6:05 pm): I have to refer to you as something other than 'that person who's sitting in the truck right in front of me'
Birdie (6:05 pm): Wait you're saving my number? Why?
(6:06 pm): you're too fun not to
Birdie (6:06 pm): really?
(6:08 pm): yeah, like I hardly ever get to hold conversations like this one with people. People usually txt me to chew me out if I've forgotten school work or if I'm planning to do something stupid with my friends
(6:09 pm): I like the fact that we're just talking about whatever pops into our minds
Birdie (6:11 pm): Oh wow I think I kind of like this too. I didn't even realise how much times has past
(6:13 pm) I guess what they say is true, it's easier to talk to people that you don't know about stuff
Birdie (6:13 pm): yeah. Oh and is it alright if I call you Gil? Just so I have something to refer to you?
(6:14 pm): go for it Birdie!
Birdie (6:15 pm): Hold on I think we're moving
(6:15 pm): already? But we just started bonding
Birdie (6:16 pm): If I remember correctly you were the one who couldn't wait long enough for the other cars to start moving
(6:16 pm): ya but then we started texting and shit and i have found a fellow bird lover we can't end this relationship this soon
Birdie (6:17 pm): since when were we in a relationship
(6:17 pm): since two secs ago when I said so
Birdie (6:18 pm): whatever you know it's possible to txt when not driving right?
(6:19 pm): true…
Birdie (6:19 pm): Seriously, traffic's moving now. We have to stop txting
(6:20 pm): aaaaawwwwww
(6:26 pm): Holy shit did I just see what I just saw!?
Birdie (6:31 pm): Gil i'm driving
(6:32 pm): No but seriously did a semi carrying candy canes really crash into a semi carrying christmas tree ornaments? Omg it was like christmas exploded all over the freeway
Birdie (6:33 pm): EYES ON THE ROAD NOW
Author's Note:
Hey Guys! This is my official Christmas FanFic of 2016! And my last multi-chaptered fic for the rest of the year (good riddance to 2016). Since this is a christmas fic, It will only last from now until christmas day. Most, if not all of the chapters will be in a text message format of sorts. There will be a few chapters where it seems like it's a sort of transcript of a video, but that is still a long ways away.
I hope I was able to keep Canada and Prussia in character. Dispite how much I love the ship I am unused to writing them, so if they seem a bit off, please let me know and I will try to fix their characterization. I've spent NanoWrimo working on this story so I hope that it all turns out well.
This chapter was supposed to be posted on December 1st but I found a massive plot hole in the later chapters that I had to fix so I had to withhold this chapter until today. This was a stressful week for me as well involving lots of tests, phones catching fire in school (not my phone but my classmate's) and a freakin freshman pulling the fire alarm because he didn't want to recite a poem in class -.- Ya it's been rough but I made it through TGIF, er I guess it's saterday now. This is what happens when I stay up finishing homework on a friday and then try to get a fanfic posted.
But anyway, I hope that you have enjoyed this first chapter and the next one will be posted within the next three days (the rough draft is finished I just need to go through and edit it). If you have the time, please review. Reviews are what keep me motivated to write and all of them are greatly appreciated :D
Thank you for reading everybody!
Snowy-Maplette