Disclaimer: For a second, I thought I owned Gakuen Alice. -sigh-
A crappy story inspired by the song Home by Michael Bublé. It's a very crappy story with lots of grammatical errors and stupid sentences that don't make sense. It's written purely out of boredom and even though it's crappy, I've written this so it's a waste to go to the recycle bin. Don't like it? Don't read.
"Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmm
May be surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh, I miss you, you know."
It had always been his dream to get out of Japan. It had been his goal since he could think by himself. He was set on his goal; he had worked his ass off to get what he wanted. He didn't hate Japan, but he felt like it wasn't the place he wanted to live in for the rest of his life. Japan wasn't home to him.
His parents didn't have the money to send him to study aboard; hence he worked very hard to get a scholarship in order for him to get out of Japan. He had failed numerous times, but he never gave up on his dream. Finally, he got a scholarship for his Master Degree in the USA, and he gladly accepted it. He was happy; his hard work had finally been fruitful.
His family was happy for him too, even though they knew that he would never be back again. That was his purpose, he would work hard for his Master's Degree and hopefully, he would be able to get a great job there, then he wouldn't need to come back to Japan. He had it all planned out since forever, he had his future set. Yet, everything changed because of a woman.
The day he first met him, he never knew that he would be this attached to her. They met purely by coincidence during his third year of college. At that time, he was staying in his dorm, and she was there to visit her cousin, who happened to be his roommate. Her cousin was out at that time, so they got to talking, and he found her fascinating.
At first, he never considered pursuing her because he knew she would be a distraction. However, as time passed by, he couldn't resist his feelings for her anymore. They became a couple about three months after their first meeting. He told her then all about his dream, about how much he wanted to get out of Japan and he couldn't be in a serious relationship. She just gave him a gentle smile, not saying anything to him.
His phone rang, distracting him from his train of thoughts. "Hello?" he answered.
"Natsume?" It was his father. "How is it going, son? You're graduating tomorrow, right?"
Natsume sat down on his bed, thinking how to answer his father. "It's fine, Dad. I have a great job offer, I haven't given an answer though," he admitted.
His father was silent on the other line. He knew why he was so shocked; it was unlike him to think twice about this. This had been his dream. He was about to achieve his dream, he could stay there in USA and probably got a green card, so what was stopping him?
He knew the answer; he just wasn't ready to admit it out loud. He wasn't even ready to admit it to himself.
"Why are you hesitating now?" Natsume couldn't answer that question. "You're about to have a dream come true, Natsume. We'll support you, if you decide to stay there."
"And I've been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
"I'm fine baby, how are you?"
Well I would send them but I know that it's just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that."
He sighed and tapped the table with his fingers, a habit he had unconsciously formed. His eyes roamed around his single dorm room, until he found what he was searching for. There sitting on the table was a stack of letters that he had intended to send, but never got the courage to. He didn't know how she would react, and he definitely didn't want her to feel like she was tied to him. He wanted her to be happy, even if it meant she had to be with someone else.
"I . . . I don't know, Dad," he said truthfully. Could he really stay here, away from his family? He had no problem with that, he had been living there for a year and a half . . . But he missed her. He missed her terribly and he really wanted to see her again, no matter how pathetic his longing was.
". . . I met Mikan yesterday," his father said. Natsume felt like suffocating just by hearing her name, her effect on him was too much. Had he known that she would be such an important part of his life to him, he wouldn't have pursued her in the first place. She was the source of all his doubts; she was what that kept him from making any decision to stay in USA.
"Is she alright?" he asked.
"She looks great, as always. I didn't talk much with her, but she did ask me to give you her regards. She said she missed you."
"Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I'm lucky, I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I've got to go home
Let me go home
I'm just too far from where you are
I wanna come home."
He wondered if she missed him as much as he missed her. He wanted to know if she still worked in her grandfather's bakery. He wanted to know if she had gotten a new boyfriend. He wanted to know if she still loved cotton candy as she used to. He wanted to know everything about her.
"I see," he said. "I'll talk to you tomorrow, Dad. I have to go somewhere," he lied.
"Of course. Just remember, whatever your choice is, we'll support you."
Natsume hung up, he didn't even bother to say goodbye to his father. He wanted to sort out his mind; he wanted to get him back on his track. She was just a girl, so why was she so important to him? He loved her—that much he knew.
He sighed, remembering the day he told her that he was leaving . . .
***
They were sitting on a bench in Mikan's favorite park. Natsume had his arm wrapped around her waist and Mikan had her head on Natsume's chest. They were just cuddling, happy to be in each other's embrace.
Natsume was nervous, he knew he had to tell her about his leaving now, or he would never get the chance to. He didn't tell her that he applied for the scholarship, he was afraid to jinx it. He sighed, knowing that it was now or never.
"Mikan," he murmured.
"Hmm?" she replied. She had her eyes closed, enjoying the feeling of Natsume's arms around her.
"I'm leaving." That woke her up, and now she was staring at him with wide eyes. "I got a full scholarship to UCLA. I didn't tell you that I applied because I was afraid to jinx it," he said truthfully.
She was silent after he told her that. He wondered if she was angry at him, or maybe she was just sad because of the prospect of him leaving her. He scrutinized her face, but her face didn't give her emotions away at all. It was rather scary to see her that way, she was usually a very expressive person.
"When are you leaving?" she whispered.
"In two weeks," he replied.
"So, it's goodbye? Forever?" she asked, her voice trembling.
He sighed. "You know about my dream." She was silent again. His heart constricted when he saw the pain in her eyes. He had warned her numerous times that he was in no condition for a serious relationship, and she always said that she understood. He knew it was too late though, he had fallen in love with her, and vice versa.
"Come with me, Mikan," he murmured. He had thought about it before, he had even calculated the expense and everything if she ever decided to go with him. He really hoped she would go with him, he knew she loved him too much to let him go. He thought his proposal was a sure win, but he was wrong.
"I can't," she whispered. He stiffened. He knew everything was too good to be true. Maybe she didn't love him as much he loved her, maybe she was just toying with him all those time. But that couldn't possibly be the case; they were perfect for each other.
"I love you, Natsume, I really do, but I can't come with you. That is not me, I'm sorry," she said, tears trickling from her brown eyes. She wiped the tears away with her hands and smiled at him. "But I believe in you, Natsume. I believe you can achieve your dream. I know you can."
***
"And I feel just like I'm living someone else's life
It's like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
'Cause this was not your dream
But you always believed in me."
They had broken up in good terms then, with the promise to stay in touch with each other. He broke that promise though; he knew he couldn't stay away from her, so he had to cast her completely out of his life. But now, there was nothing else holding him in USA, he could easily return to Japan once he received his degree.
He understood now why she couldn't go with him. It was his dream, not hers. She supported him even though she knew it would hurt her. He felt like he didn't deserve her, she was too compassionate. He was selfish, he never even thought about how other people would feel about him leaving. He had been too wrapped up in his own world.
Had he made the right choice by coming here? Had he made the right choice by leaving her? He had asked those questions to himself lots of times and he was never able to answer them. Now, he knew the answer to those questions. Being apart from her for so long had made him realize everything.
Yes, he had made the right choice by coming here. If he hadn't gone here, he wouldn't know what he really wanted, and what he really had. The saying "you don't know what you've got until you lose it" had never been truer for him. He just hoped it wasn't too late for him to win her heart back.
He wanted to laugh at himself. He had been so set on his goal of leaving Japan, and now he was going back there just because of someone. He didn't regret it though, he knew he would regret it if he didn't come back now. It was his dream to get out of Japan, but not all dreams could come true. He knew that, and he was ready to accept reality.
It was time for him to go home, to where she was.
***
"Let me go home
I've had my run
Baby, I'm done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all be all right
I'll be home tonight
I'm coming back home."
His family was surprised by his statement that he was going back to Japan, but they didn't question his decision. His father was glad that he was coming back, he immensely missed his son, and he somehow knew that she was the reason he was coming back. Natsume told him not to notify Mikan of his homecoming, but he went behind his son and told her. To say that she was happy would be an understatement.
She was there in the airport with Natsume's family, waiting for Natsume to arrive. She was nervous as hell. Did he still love her? Would he forgive her for not ever being able to completely let him go? It was hard for her when he announced that he was leaving, but she had to support his dream.
People began streaming out of the arrival terminal, and she scanned the crowd from him. He was right there, among the crowd, looking around for his family. She smiled widely when she saw him, and then she yelled at him, "NATSUME!"
His eyes went wide when he saw her, and happiness filled him to the brim. He missed her terribly; he knew then that his choice of coming home was right. Nothing could be more right than that to him.
He immediately pulled her into a tight hug when he reached her. He buried his nose in her hair and inhaled her strawberry-like scent. She hugged him back tightly, and they marveled at each other's touch.
His family didn't bother them, his father and his sister knew how much they missed each other. They were wrapped in their own bubble, and nothing else mattered aside from the fact that they were together again.
"Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you're back, but why?" she murmured.
"Not all dreams can come true, I know that now. My dream now is to be with you, and if I have to give up my other dream for that, so be it," he replied. It was uncharacteristic of him to be so forward, but he just needed to let her know.
"I'm sorry I couldn't come with you," she said.
He shook his head. "I understand now. It wasn't your dream, and it'd never be your dream. I can't force you to go with me, if that's not what you want. Besides, I'm here now, and I'm not going anywhere." He tightened his embrace around her waist. "This is home; this is where I want to be."
She looked up at him and gave him a gentle smile. "Welcome home, Natsume."
Wherever she was, the place was home to him. As long as he was with her, he knew he would never regret the decisions he had made. "Home," he repeated before he bent down and kissed her for the first time in almost two years.
He was happy. He had given up something he had desired for a long time, but it was the idea of it that he loved, not the reality. Home was where the heart was, and with her was where his heart was.
I'm home.
The End