Author's Note: Here are the rules: no Sburb, recipes at the end of each chapter, and absolutely no languishing in the pumpkin patch. We shall thrive, thank you very much. ;)

Disclaimer: I do not own Homestuck,
For it belongs to the Huss.
It just so happens that's my luck,
No need to make a fuss.

The first time he met Jake English, Dirk Strider wound up wearing pumpkin pie all over his face.

It wasn't the most ideal of meetings, by any circumstance. After tripping on him and sending an entire pumpkin pie smashing into his face, the dark-haired child had taken one look at Dirk, burst into tears, and run off.

This, of course left Dirk to attempt to pick himself and the bathroom pass off the floor, his (ironic) kiddy pilgrim costume covered in cinnamon-spiced pumpkin goop. What had that been all about, anyways? As the coolest kid in the third grade, it should have been no problem for him to stand up and move on as if nothing had happened.

Except, apparently, something had happened- aside from the soiling of a costume, that is. Both he and the boy who'd tripped on top of him wound up sending the combination of both their weights crashing down on Dirk's rather unfortunate wrist, which was now veritably sprained.

He fumbled around for probably three minutes, attempting to stand up without the use of his right hand, before the kid who'd crashed into him finally came back with a teacher.

"Oh my," the teacher had said worriedly. "Are you all right?"

Jake sniffled and wiped his nose with his sleeve.

"I'm mostly ok but I think I hurt my wrist," Dirk frowned, gritting his teeth. He was always tough, even as a kid. After all, Striders didn't cry. It was a cardinal rule he'd learned from his older brother.

"Would you mind if I looked?" the teacher asked kindly. Dirk nodded his assent and she took his hand in one of hers. He winced.

"It looks like a sprain," the teacher decided with a soft frown. "Here, let me help you up, we'll have to see the nurse about this."

"Sure," Dirk accepted the hand up almost nonchalantly, the only sign of the pain he was experiencing shown in his tightly pressed together lips.

So the teacher, with the two students in tow, led the way to the school nurse, who immediately took care of Dirk's injury with a splint and not-so-immediately taking care of the mess on Dirk's clothes by calling home with a request for a change.

As he waited for the nurse, Dirk couldn't help but watch the kid who'd fallen on him. He was still bawling.

"Hey, bro," Dirk found himself saying. "You okay?"

"I'm really, really sorry," Jake sniffled. "I didn't mean to hurt you!"

"Don't worry about it. I've had worse," Dirk replied offhandedly, even though he really hadn't. "I'm Dirk Strider, coolkid. What's your name?"

"Jake English," he wiped his face on the sleeve of his sweater and tried a smile. "Adventurer extraordinaire. Wanna be friends?"

"Okay."

It was the budding of a friendship sweeter than the pie on Dirk's face.

Pumpkin Pie:

1 medium-to-small pumpkin OR 2 cups canned pumpkin puree
1 can evaporated milk (12 oz.)
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/3 cup white sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 eggs, plus the yolk of a third egg
2 teaspoons cinnamon
1 teaspoon ground ginger
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
1/4 teaspoon ground cardamon
1/2 teaspoon of lemon zest
1 pie crust, unbaked

1) Make pumpkin puree from the pumpkin. This is done by halving the pumpkin, scooping out the seed-goop, and placing it cut-side down on an aluminum-foil lined baking sheet. It should be baked at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for roughly an hour and a half, until you can stick a fork in it. Remove the pumpkin from the oven and scoop out the pulp. Blend until smooth.

2) Heat oven to 425 degrees Fahrenheit.

3) Mix the sugar, salt, spices, and lemon zest in a large bowl. Beat the eggs, then add them in. Add the pumpkin puree and the evaporated milk. Whisk the mixture together.

4) Pour the pumpkin mixture into the pie crust and bake at 425 degrees for approximately 15 minutes. Reduce the temperature to 350 degrees and continue baking for about 45 minutes.

5) Remove pie from oven and cool. Serve with whipped cream, or on Dirk's face.

Recipe from simplyrecipes dot com.