Chapter 1: Why us?

Matt and Emily had been married for a year. They were blissfully happy. Not to say they didn't have their moments, what couple didn't, but they dealt with it and learned to communicate with each other better, leading to a solid start to their life together. Emily waited by the elevator doors for Matt. They were having a much-needed night out after a long week of late hours. Cheryl agreed to let them leave early to spend some time together. Matt smiled as he came around the corner and saw his wife. He pushed the button for the elevator door before taking her hand and leading her inside. Matt pushed her against the elevator wall assaulting her with kisses. Emily sighed relaxing against his body allowing the stress of the day to fall off of her shoulders. Matt rubbed her back knowing that the sooner they left today behind the sooner they could enjoy their evening out. Emily ran her hands up Matt's back and pulled him close before resting her head on his chest. Matt sighed contentedly releasing his cares knowing that everything would be okay as long as this woman in his arms was with him. The elevator door opened and the couple stepped out walking hand in hand to their car.

Matt and Emily drove in companionable conversation to the Mexican restaurant that had become their favorite since their first date was there. They arrived at the restaurant and were seated at their "usual" table. Matt ordered beers for both of them before noticing that Emily was fidgeting and not touching her beer. He reached across the table taking Emily's hand in his.

"Emily, baby, what's the matter?" He questioned stroking her hand with his other one.

"I've missed two periods Matt. Do you think I'm pregnant? I mean we talked about this and I went off the pill a while ago, but do you really think we might finally be having a baby?" Emily rambled on as Matt scooted his chair closer. The waitress returned and he ordered them chicken fajitas, which they always shared. He put his arm around Emily pulling her close to him before speaking.

"Sweetheart, you know I want a baby as badly as you do, but I don't want you to get your hopes up again. We have been trying for several months now since you went off birth control. We'll pick up a test on the way home, but if it's negative, maybe we should just accept the fact that we aren't going to have a baby." Matt stated dejected at the thought of not holding a child of his own that was created from his love for Emily.

"I want a child with you. I never thought I wanted any of this, marriage, babies, but then I met you and now I want it all. Maybe we should see someone that can help us." Emily pleaded with tears in her eyes.

"Baby, don't cry. I want this too. That's what I've dreamed of since you first said yes to this whole thing. Let's take it one day at a time and find out if this period of uninterrupted sex is what we've been wanting." Matt said, taking her hands in his and kissing her lightly on the lips as the waitress brought their meal out. The couple forgot about their previous conversation while they enjoyed their dinner and talked about the latest office gossip. The tension of before did not return until they left the restaurant and got in the car for the long drive home.

Emily sighed as they pulled into the parking lot of a drug store near their home. She got out of the car meeting Matt in front of the vehicle. He took her hand before leading her inside. They walked slowly down the aisle they had strolled through some many times before. Emily stood looking at all of the pregnancy tests in front of her. She grabbed one that came with two tests. She didn't want the disappointment of before where she had taken a home test only to go to the doctor to find out it was negative. Matt suggested that from that time on they always did at least two before making her appointment. They walked to the counter with heavy hearts hoping that the 4th time might be the charm. They paid for the test and walked silently back to the car and drove the rest of the way home without conversation.

The quiet couple walked in their front door and Emily headed straight for the bathroom. After taking the test, she opened the door to let Matt in to wait for the results with her. Matt knew that if this test was negative chances were that there was a problem with one of them and that they both needed to see a doctor if they wanted a baby of their own. He turned the water on in the bathtub adding Emily's favorite bubble bath knowing that she would need to relax either way after the results were clear. She gave him a nod indicating that it was time to check the test. Matt walked over and wrapped his arms around her waist resting his head on her shoulder. Emily picked up the test and let out a deep breath. It was negative again. She threw the test in the trash and turned herself around in Matt's arms as she began sobbing. Matt tightened his grip and ran his hands up and down her back. How much disappointment would they have to bear? They were in love and wanted to have a child of their own badly. They both knew it would change things tremendously, but they were ready to share their love with a baby made from that love. Matt sighed as he removed each piece of his wife's clothing as she shook from the disappointment of finding out once again that she was not carrying his child. His own followed her clothes as he stepped into the bathtub leading her with him. He sat down and pulled her against him once again. He placed gentle kisses on her head as he tried his best to comfort her knowing that her heart was broken and that his own was now in pieces. After a several minutes, she stopped crying and took several deep breaths before speaking.

"Matt," She began as she pushed herself away from him, "I understand if you want to leave me and find someone who can give you a child. I mean I'm broken and can't give you the only thing I should be able to. If you want out, go." She stated breaking down in tears once again. Matt pulled her close one more time wiping her tears.

"Em, baby, why would I ever want to leave you? I love you and can't imagine my life without you in it. I would lose part of myself if I lost you. Did you ever think that maybe it's me? Maybe I'm the reason we can't have a baby. How about if we both make doctor's appointments and find out if we're both okay first? If we are then we'll ask about our options. How does that sound?" Matt stroked her cheek as she relaxed against him.

"Are you sure? I mean, what if something is wrong with one of us? Matt, I'm scared." Emily confessed quietly burying her face in his chest.

Matt lifted her chin to look at him before speaking, "Sweetheart, I love you. If something is wrong, we'll work through it together. Do you hear me Em, together?"

She nodded her head so he continued," I'm scared too babe, but I promise to be there for you. I'll go to your appointment with you and hold your hand. I'll do anything you need me to do to make this easier for you. I want a baby, but I want you more. No more talk about me leaving you, okay." She nodded again letting a small smile peek through. Matt sealed the deal with a kiss before standing and pulling her out of the tub.

After wrapping their robes around them, he carried his beautiful wife to their bed where he removed her robe before lying her down on the bed. He discarded his own robe before climbing in bed beside her, pulling the covers up over them and turning off the light. Matt slipped one arm under her pillow finding her hand and interlocking them. His other arm found it's home draped over her stomach holding her body against his. His leg relaxed on top hers molding their bodies into one. The couple fell into an emotionally exhausted sleep until morning.