Ok so this is a one shot however I am considering continuing it, depending on what people think. This basically came out of no where, I noticed there are lots of lovely stories about how Vince fancies Howard and Howard fancies Vince and they both think the other doesn't etc so I thought I'd write a complete opposite where one fancies the other but the other isn't interested.
In this it's Vince that is in love but Howard isn't, so this contains angst and the odd swear word.
And I wrote this because I currently have writer's block on the last chapter of Demon Souls, can't seem to find the right words for it... Anyway, this helped me un-wind.
Hope you enjoy it, enough ramblings.
Disclaimer: All things Boosh belong to Barratt and Fielding and the quote under the title isn't mine, found it on google : ) Ahh good old google!
Rip my jeans, not my heart
Tired of trying, sick of crying,
Yeah I'm smiling, but inside I'm dying.
He was usually always full of confidence, he overflows with it normally but sometimes he got shy and lost it all, it didn't happen much but it did happen.
The hairspray, make up, glamorous clothes, accessories and more than perfect hair was just a mask, sure it got him noticed but not by the right person. In fact it got him noticed by every single person in the world except this certain one and that frustrated him.
He stood at his mirror again armed with his straightners and styled his hair until he was sure he would like it. Then added the right amount of hairspray, an amount that meant if someone lit a match in the other room it would blow the whole flat up, he opened his window slightly to let the spray out and de-mist his bedroom. He did this everyday, made sure he looked good even though he hardly ever got noticed by that one person.
Today was different though, today he felt more confident. His feelings had been going on for several months now and had grown stronger everyday; he couldn't stand pretending any more. He wanted to get a heavy weight off his shoulders, he had to otherwise it would drive him insane.
He checks his outfit in the mirror then smiles approvingly, takes a deep breath and exits his bedroom into the lounge and kitchen where he was sat reading the newspaper with a cup of tea on the table. The flat smelt of toast and butter with a hint of strawberry jam, Vince smiled to himself slightly and went to pour himself a glass of orange juice from the fridge.
The radio was on letting soft music drift through the flat, it was a slow love song that seemed to make Vince feel a little nervous, he drew in some steady breaths then took a large mouthful of juice before leaning against the kitchen counters to look at his friend, Howard.
"Howard..."
"Yep?" He replies not looking up from the newspaper he was still reading from, he hadn't even looked at his friend since last night when they all went out to the pub.
"I-" He began but the words got stuck in his throat and forced themselves back into his mind, he keeps his vision fixed on the floor and hears the paper rustling as Howard lays it down on the table.
"What?" He asks softly while taking a sip of tea which was still too hot to drink, Vince's mouth opened and closed like a fish before he shook his head making his black hair flop about his face.
"Doesn't matter." Howard sighed heavily, shook his head and got back to reading the paper, snapping it back open, rustling the sheets and making a few leaflets and flyers fall out of it.
Vince cursed himself for loosing that little last ounce of confidence as he took a seat on the sofa; he crossed his legs and balanced the glass on his knee while taking a few deep breaths once again. He gathered up what little courage he had left and tried one more time.
"Howard..."
"What?" Comes the reply, a little stern with an annoyed tone behind it "This better be worth it." Vince closes his eyes and before he can stop himself he tells his friend his feelings.
"You what?" Howard asks with half a laugh, the newspaper was balanced open hovering a few inches above the table, its pages were shaking showing Howard's hands had a slight tremble. Probably from the alcohol the previous night "I didn't quite catch that, I thought you said you loved me?" He asks clearly sounding uncertain and confused, Vince dropped his head so his fringe would conceal most of his face and his blushing cheeks "Is that what you said?"
"Yes." He replies in a quiet tone now completely certain that expressing his feelings was not a good idea. After a couple of minutes silence Howard burst into laughter causing Vince to look up, a slight frown on his face and a hint of worry in his blue eyes "What's so funny?"
"You! Great joke that. Nearly had me there, little man." Vince's heart melted at that last little comment, 'little man'. He'd always been called that by Howard, it was like Howard's special name for him that only he as allowed to use.
"It's not a joke." He mutters back hoping his friend wouldn't hear but the laughing had died.
"Course it is...Right? You can't love me!"
"Why not?"
"Because we're completely different, Vince." He went back to reading the newspaper, the rustling of the sheets sounded strangely louder to Vince.
"So? I can't choose who I fall in love with." Howard makes a small sound like muffled laughter before coughing loudly and turning a couple of pages in the paper "What's that supposed to mean?"
"You're Vince Noir." Howard began without looking up "You don't need to fall in love with anyone because everyone just falls at your feet, they fall in love with you, I bet you've never felt real love. Only lust." The comment sounded harsher to Vince than it should have done, he dropped his head again to hide his face but Howard didn't notice.
"I don't exactly like it when people bow down to me, you know. I'm not as shallow as you think Howard."
"Okay." He nodded once without making eye contact, Vince felt the anger bubble up inside him. He knew he would burst any second and it wouldn't be with glitter, only tears, curse words and rage.
"And I ain't as thick as you think I am." Again he received another nod "And I only dress up like this to impress one person. I only take five hours to style my hair just right for one person. I have a bubbly, bright, sunny and ecstatic mood everyday just to impress one person. But that one bloody person never notices a thing I do!"
"Who's that then?" Howard mumbles still with his nose in the newspaper.
"You, you berk!" Vince stands and swipes the paper away from Howard's grip who scowls at him and stands too towering over the skinny mod "You never notice me and you completely ignored me just then and you never take anything I say seriously!"
"That's because you always mess everything up and leave it for someone else to clean up and that someone else is always me! I'm sick of it! I won't bow down at your feet anymore Vince. Find someone else to do that."
"But I don't want anyone else!" He cried, his fists almost forming tight balls "I don't want anyone else." His voice cracked and decreased, his expression softened slightly to a more distraught look.
"I am not your personal slave." Vince sighed loudly with frustration as Howard passed him and sat down on he sofa.
"I don't want a slave, don't you get it? I'm trying to tell you I love you! And you won't listen, you just sit there and completely ignore the three words. Why don't you just listen to me and tal-"
"I don't love you!" Howard suddenly yells back now back on his feet startling Vince and making him jump back "I don't love you and never will! I'm not gay, okay? And you're not my type even if I were." The mod stared at Howard with his ice blue eyes that threatened tears "I don't go for annoying, clumsy mods who charm their way out of anything and everything! I don't go for someone who expects a personal slave, I told you I won't tidy up after you anymore!"
"This is not about wanting a fucking slave, Howard!"
"Then what is it about?"
"It's about me getting a weight off my chest that has been there for fuck knows how long! I can't stand it anymore, it's driving me insane!"
"And you thought telling me would help?" Howard receives a nod as he watches Vince bite his quivering lip trying desperately to hold back some tears "Oh don't start crying, you'll smudge your make-up." Howard sneered at his friend before turning away to sit back down and turn the television on, a few seconds later the fridge door slammed followed by a bedroom door.