The One where Joey's dad returns and there's boobies again!
While Rachel and Ross plan to have a night out for just themselves, Phoebe tries to find herself a date, and Chandler and Monica also have a night out just the two of them, Joey wants to get himself a date but his plans are interrupted when his dad comes back into town! Worse the others don't even get to have one night to themselves because they end up at central perk but decide to talk things over and wonder where Joey is.
Rachel: where is Joey?
Monica: i know he's usually here.
Phoebe: he's probably at home trying to get himself ready for a date or better yet on the phone calling up a girl to ask her out.
Monica: i don't know does he seem like that type?
They all look up for a brief moment and nod their heads
All 5 of them: yeah!
At home
Joey is preparing himself for a date when the phone rings
He answers it
Joey:(on the phone) How you doin baby wanna have a night out just the two of us?
Mr. Tribbiani:(clears his throat) ahem Joey this is your dad!
Joey: oh hi dad sorry i just-
Mr. Tribbiani: i know what you were thinking like i was some broad you wanted to ask out i get it!
Joey: ok but why are you calling me?
Mr. Tribbiani: because i am coming over tonight so don't make plans!
Joey: what?! but dad i was-
Mr. Tribbiani: see ya in a bit!
Joey: but i-
Mr. Tribbiani hung up
Joey: and he hung up!
He hangs his phone up and paces back and forth for a while until there is a knock at the door
He answers it
Joey: dad!
Mr. Tribbiani: hi Joey!
Joey: uh what brings you here?
Mr. Tribbiani: nothin but i wanted to drop by and say hi!
Joey: well you are here already so uh what time do you have to leave?
Mr. Tribbiani: oh i'm not leaving until the end of this month!
Joey: huh?
Mr. Tribbiani: that's right you heard me loud and clear.
Joey: so i am stuck with you this whole month?
Mr. Tribbiani: yes that's right.
Joey: oh...well...that's...ummmmmm...cool!
Mr. Tribbiani: you don't sound too happy!
Joey: well...uh...are you still planning on making things right with mom?
Mr. Tribbiani: i'm thinking about it Joey!
Joey: but-
Mr. Tribbiani: well it is late so i'm gonna call it a night so goodnight!
Joey: do you need me to massage your shoulders or anything?
Mr. Tribbiani: goodnight Joey!
He goes to bed
Joey then paces back and forth and sneaks out to go to Central Perk
He gets there and is greeted by the others
Rachel: hey Joey!
Joey:(monotonous) hi!
Chandler: uh oh what's got you all upset now?!
Ross: this time?!
Joey: my dad is back in town!
Phoebe: ouch not so good of a reunion?
Joey: i don't mind my dad staying one night at the apartment but he'll be with me for the whole month and that's what i can't handle!
Chandler: wait your dad is staying at our apartment for the whole month?!
Joey: yes!
Chandler: oh no we're doomed!
Joey: unfortunately so!
Phoebe: well tell him to find his own little apartment to go into!
Joey: can't because he now wants to be near me!
Monica: what's so bad about that?
Joey: i feel like i am 4 years old all over again!
Phoebe: so what you're just gonna let your dad boss you around?
Joey: well no but-
Monica: sounds like you have always let your dad boss you around and you are too scared to tell him otherwise!
Joey: well uh you know you can't just say no to a parent but-
Phoebe: well now you can!
Joey: but i can't because my dad kinda scares me!
Ross: then try to make ammends with him without saying something you may regret.
Rachel: yeah!
Joey:(reluctantly) oh ok!
Soon they all go to their apartments and go to bed all except Joey who has to figure a way he can sleep without having to share his room with his dad but unfortunately he doesn't like sleeping on the couch near the windows and he doesn't like sleeping on the chair so he reluctantly decides to go inside his bedroom and sleep on the floor next to his bed where his dad is sleeping. Soon his dad starts snoring loudly and so loud it wakes Chandler up and Monica and Rachel from across the hall. They soon go in the hall.
Monica:(whispering) Joey keep it down i'm trying to sleep!
Joey:(whispering) it's not me that's doin it alright it's my dad!
Rachel:(whispering) oh yeah well next time put tape on his mouth!
Joey:(rolls his eyes) well i'll try to quiet him down!
He goes back into his and Chandler's apartment and into his bedroom
Joey:(whispering) psssst! dad hey dad!
Mr. Tribbiani:(in his sleep dreaming about actress Barbara Bach) kiss me Barbara(he pulls Joey towards him).
Joey: no it's me Joey!
Mr. Tribbiani:(wakes up) Joey what the hell?!
Joey: dad do me, Chandler, Rachel, and Monica a favor and quiet your snoring down!
Mr. Tribbiani: alright alright just as long as i get to sleep!
Joey: yes!
He goes back to sleep and Joey goes back out into the hall
Joey: ok i got him to quiet d-
Chandler:(walking out with a blanket and a pillow).
Joey: where are you going i quieted my dad down!
Chandler: i'm going to Rachel and Monica's because i can atleast get some sleep over there!
Joey: fine!
Soon the snoring starts back up
Joey: on second thought i'll join you!
He gets a pillow and blanket and goes with Chandler to Monica and Rachel's so they both can sleep there for the night.
The next day, Mr. Tribbiani wakes up to nobody in the house and comes over to Rachel and Monica's to see if Joey is there.
Knock at the door
Rachel: ok ok i'll get it.
Knock gets louder
Rachel: oh for the love of god Ross i-
She opens the door
Rachel: you're not Ross who are you?
Mr. Tribbiani: Joey's dad.
Rachel: oh hi Mr. Tribbiani how is-
Mr. Tribbiani: have you seen Joey?
Rachel: uh...
She sees Joey motioning for her
Rachel: wait right here.
She goes into her closet
Rachel: what Joey?
Joey: don't tell him i'm here!
Rachel: why?
Joey: because he'll want me to do all sorts of things for him and-
Rachel: Joey he's your dad!
Joey: Rachel please d-
Rachel walks out
Mr. Tribbiani: so where's Joey?
Rachel: closet.
Mr. Tribbiani opens the door
Joey: for god's sake Rachel i said for you not to tell him where i was!
Mr. Tribbiani: how long have you been in the closet?
Joey: all night because of your snoring!
Mr. Tribbiani:(rolls his eyes).
Soon Rachel goes to get into the shower and Chandler wakes up and also decides to get into the shower but unbeknowst to him Rachel is in there.
He opens the curtain
Rachel:(shocked) Chandler!
Chandler: oh god!
He closes it and runs out into the living room
Chandler: ok i just opened the shower curtain and Rachel was in there and i saw boobies!
Joey: what?!
Mr. Tribbiani: come again?
Monica: Chandler Rachel was in there!
Chandler: nobody told me and i barely just found out!
Mr. Tribbiani: you must feel pretty stupid right now!
Joey:(to his dad) ok that's a time out!
Mr. Tribbiani: what?!
Joey: like you used to do to me when i said my sarcastic remarks well i am doing it to you!
Mr. Tribbiani: but i-
Joey:(point to a chair in the corner) go sit over there Mister!
Mr. Tribbiani goes and sits on the chair and pouts
Joey laughs to himself
Monica:(slaps him) shame on you being mean to your dad!
Joey: well someone had to put him on a time out!
Soon time goes by and Rachel comes out of the bathroom a little mad at Chandler
Rachel:(comes out).
Chandler: i'm sorry Rachel don't throw nothin at me!
Rachel: you saw my boobies and-
She notices Joey and Joey's dad are in the same room and that Joey's dad is sitting on a chair in the corner
Rachel: uh Joey why is your dad sitting on a chair in the corner?
Joey: he's on a time out!
Mr. Tribbiani: which is too long!
Joey: you keep out of this!
Rachel: golly you don't have to be mean to your dad because Greens aren't mean!
Joey: well i'm a Tribbiani and Tribbiani's are mean when they need to be!
Rachel:(rolls her eyes).
Mr. Tribbiani: may i please come out of this stupid time out?
Joey: no!
Monica:(slaps him) Joey!
Joey: just kiddin yes!
Mr. Tribbiani:(comes over to Joey and pulls him by his ear).
Joey: hey hey hey what's the big idea?
Mr. Tribbiani: the big idea is that you put me in a time out!
Joey: oh come on like you didn't do that to me!
Mr. Tribbiani: oh hush!
They both walk out into the hall
Joey: ow! ow! ow! ow! ow! dude!
Mr. Tribbiani: don't dude me i'm not in the mood!
They get inside Joey and Chandler's apartment
Joey: what was the big idea pullin me by the ear?
Mr. Tribbiani: because you irritate me half the time!
Joey:(rolls his eyes).
After that Joey, Rachel, Ross, Chandler, Phoebe, and Monica go to central perk and Joey talks about on how he wishes his dad would leave already and make up with his mom!
Phoebe: Joey what has gotten you all cranky?
Joey: my dad visting me but not only that he is staying with until the end of this month!
Phoebe: so tell him to leave!
Joey: do you really want me to hurt his feelings? do you want to see an old man cry because it is not as funny as you may think it is!
Rachel: speaking of funny Chandler tell Ross what you did!
Chandler: i opened the shower curtain and saw her boobies!
Ross: well if you saw her boobies then she has to see your thing!
Chandler: really?
Ross, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel: yes!
Chandler: fine!
Joey: ok i don't mean to be rude but my problem is a bit bigger than boobies!
Phoebe: look Joey what do you expect out of your dad?
Monica: yeah what do you want from him?
Joey: to make up with my mom so he can go back to living with her and i can have my life back!
Ross: why don't you go and talk to your dad and urge him to do so!
Joey: not a bad idea.
He goes back to the apartment but he runs so fast that when Mr. Tribbiani opens the door he falls flat on his face
Joey:(on the ground) OUCH!
Mr. Tribbiani: you ok?
Joey:(gets up) everything's great everything is peachy!
Mr. Tribbiani: Junior what's botherin you?
Joey: it's just that you and mom haven't made up and-
Mr. Tribbiani: and why should we?
Joey: just so(stops talking for a brief second)
in his mind
Joey: so you can leave and i can have my life back!
Outside of his mind
Joey: so that you can have happiness again and know that you and mom were always together even after your nest got empty!
Mr. Tribbiani: that's true but still i don't like the idea!
Joey: dad please!
Mr. Tribbiani:(reluctantly) very well!
Joey: THANK GOD!
Mr. Tribbiani: what?!
Joey: i mean thank god you and mom may be making up!
He then goes to a phone and calls his mom and tells her that his dad is going to make things right with her but when she calls back and Mr. Tribbiani answers he tells her no! uh oh!
Mrs. Tribbiani arrives and knocks on the door
Joey answers it
Joey:(excited) mom!
Mrs. Tribbiani: liar!
She slaps him across the face
Joey: uh come in?
Mrs. Tribbiani: you told me your father was planning to make things right well i called him back and he said he never had plans at all!
Joey: what?! but i-
Mrs. Tribbiani:(about to leave) bye Joey!
She walks out the door
Joey gets agitated
Joey:(yelling) DAAAAAAAAAAD!
Mr. Tribbiani:(comes out) alright alright what are you screaming about?
Joey: mom was just here and she told me you said you never had plans of making things right with her!
Mr. Tribbiani: yes that's true!
Joey: why?
Mr. Tribbiani: because i am not ready to make up with that wicked witch yet!
Joey: ok that's another time out!
Mr. Tribbiani: but i-
Joey:(points to his open bedroom door) go to your room mister and think about what you have done!
Mr. Tribbiani goes to Joey's room
Joey shakes his head in disbelief
Later on Mrs. Tribbiani comes by and this time Mr. Tribbiani opens the door
Mr. Tribbiani: hi Gloria!
Mrs. Tribbiani: hello Joe!
Mr. Tribbiani: uh why don't you come in!
Mrs. Tribbiani: ok!
She comes in
Mr. Tribbiani: i made coffee would you like some?
Mrs. Tribbiani: no thanks!
Mr. Tribbiani:(thinking about what Joey said) listen Gloria um i would uh like to make things(gulps) right.
Mrs. Tribbiani: really?!
Mr. Tribbiani: yes!
Mrs. Tribbiani: well meet me at central perk and we can talk about it!
She leaves and then Rachel stops by
Knock on the door
Mr. Tribbiani opens the door
Mr. Tribbiani: may i help you?
Rachel: oh i am here to see Chandler.
Mr. Tribbiani: i think he might be in the shower!
Rachel: ok!
She goes into the bathroom and pulls the curtain open and sees Joey instead of Chandler
Rachel opens the curtain
Joey:(screams) AHHH! RACHEL!
Rachel:(screams) AHHH! sorry Joey!
She closes it and runs outside the bathroom
Mr. Tribbiani: uh-
Rachel: don't ask!
Chandler:(comes out) what happened?
Rachel: you! i was supposed to see your thing!
Chandler: i'm sorry but my thing was in there with me!
Mr. Tribbiani:(nonchalantly shakes his head and rolls his eyes).
Joey:(runs out in a towel with soaped up hair) Rachel what the hell what that about?!
Rachel: i was supposed to see Chandler's thing!
Joey: well you didn't you saw mine!
Rachel: uh Joey?
Joey: what?
Rachel: you do know your dad is standing over there!
Joey: huh i-
He looks over to his left
Mr. Tribbiani:(waves his hand) yeah i'm over here!
Joey: sorry dad i-
Mr. Tribbiani: Joseph Francis Tribbiani you get back in that shower right now!
Joey: wait i-
Mr. Tribbiani: Joey get to the shower seriously there's a woman here show some respect!
Joey runs back into the shower
Mr. Tribbiani:(turns to Rachel) Rachel i apologize for my son!
Rachel: it's ok he's...just...Joey i guess.
She leaves
Mr. Tribbiani: a little too much Joey!
Later on Mr. Tribbiani meets up with Mrs. Tribbiani and they talk for a while and then Mr. Tribbiani goes back to Joey and Chandler's apartment to tell Joey that he plans on reconciling with Mrs. Tribbiani and after that he jumps into the shower. Rachel shows up again.
Rachel: uh Joey where's Chandler?
Joey: bathroom i guess!
Rachel: good!
She goes in and pulls the shower curtain open only to see Mr. Tribbiani instead of Chandler
Rachel pulls the curtain back
Mr. Tribbiani:(screams) Rachel oh my god what the hell?!
Rachel:(sick to her stomach) oh good god Mr. Tribbiani i am so sorry!
Mr. Tribbiani: i knew there were some strange goings ons around here!
Rachel closes the curtain and runs out of the bathroom
Joey: what happened?
Rachel: i just saw your dad's naked body!
She walks out
Joey: uh oh!
After Mr. Tribbiani dries himself up and puts clothes on he comes out to where Joey is
Mr. Tribbiani: do your neighbours know when to let someone shower peacefully?
Joey: i uh i uh-
Mr. Tribbiani: figures you didn't know!
Joey: well how do you feel about reconciling with mom?
Mr. Tribbiani: i'm conflicted!
Joey: wha?
Mr. Tribbiani: i don't know if i want to or if i don't want to!
Joey:(rolls his eyes).
To Be Continued...