. Striking Rain .
I arched my neck and looked up at the sky above me, watching blankly as the huge, thick and dark rain clouds began settling themselves into the sky. I sighed; slowly, but surely, the many spots of warm sunshine were beginning to fade. It was soon going to be cold, and the atmosphere was already getting gloomy. I had to admit; I didn't like this at all. The rain would start falling any second now. I never liked the rain. It made everything seem so.. sad.
I averted my gaze from the dark sky and turned my head to look at you. You. You always seemed so content, and so relaxed. Sometimes, I envied you for that. For being able to push all your worries away by just smiling. For not being hesitant all the time. I envied you for all of those, and you were the one facing a lot more problems than me. Compared to yours, my problems were just trivial matters that could be solved within a day or so. Your problems, your mental scars - they were permanent.
You, too, looked away from the sky and turned to me. You had that undoubtful smile on your face, as usual. Our eyes met; you stared at me with those innocent eyes yet again, and I felt myself melt on the inside. Your eyes were like pools of dark chocolate; I always get lost in them. But why? What was so special about you? That look you were giving me scared me a little; I forgot you could read my mind. But who cares? I was so into you; I didn't even care if you could read my thoughts or not.
But then it struck me. Those eyes of yours - they seemed to be telling me a message. There was something about those eyes. Instead of the boldness I usually find in them, this time I found a tint of loneliness. Something.. empty. You wanted, no, needed something. Was this a sign?
xxxxx
Two fates meet and overlap by chance
While I got to know about loneliness and emptiness
xxxxx
Your smile widened; you've been reading my thoughts this whole time. You pushed all your weight to your left arm, which at first was resting carelessly on the soft, emerald grass below us. You leaned in, and I did the same; as we got closer, I noticed a flame burning passionately in your eyes. I had never seen anything like that before. You brought forward your right arm now, and reached out to touch my own hand. Oblivious, we were, to our surroundings. We didn't care if the sky got darker. We didn't care if the air got colder. We didn't even care about the thunder that sounded just a few seconds ago. Your fingers touched mine, and soon, they intertwined. It was like a war to see who was the strongest, but of course, this game ended without a winner. It always ended up that way. But you know what? That didn't matter. We were lost in each others' eyes, our fingers lost in our threads of lust and love.
The first few drops of rain began to fall from the sky, and they landed gently on our hands.
xxxxx
The rain falls on our intertwined hands
xxxxx
You pulled me in, and before we knew it, our faces were only centimetres apart. I could feel your breathing on my face, just as you could feel mine, on yours. I stared deeper into your eyes now, but I wanted more. We were so close, yet so far. I could feel your heart beating; we were just that close. You wanted more of me too, I knew that. But unlike me, you don't hesitate. You never did.
Then I began to think of her. The girl whom I had made a promise to over ten years ago. The girl who had high expectations of me all the time. The girl who could accept me, and me only. Picturing her face and feeling her icy gaze on me made me shudder, and hearing her shrill voice made me lose my breath. These reactions were very similar to how I would react whenever I think of you, but why didn't I feel the same for the girl? What was it about you that made the girl seem so.. unimportant? I needed to know.
You read my thoughts, but you didn't care. You grasped your hands on my shoulders and squeezed them tightly, causing me to tense and wince. I caught you staring into my eyes for a moment, before leaning in once again and locking your lips with mine. I could feel you pressing your lips onto mine hard, so I kissed back and closed my eyes. The feeling I received after coming into contact with your delicate lips overwhelmed me. I inattentively wrapped my own arms around your neck. I grasped the tresses of your long, dark hair and pulled you in closer. More, more. I wanted you more. But I also wanted you to make the first move.
You got the hint, because I could sense the edges of your lips curving and forming a smile. Just as instantly, you degraded to my lower lip and bit it gently, then you proceeded to pull on it and purred slightly, begging me to give way. I was more than glad to do so. As I parted my lips, I could feel your tongue jab into me. You began exploring me, touching every little space in my mouth with your tongue with glee. I felt so helpless, and I didn't like that. So when your tongue came in contact with mine, I made the first move by trying to take you down. Our tongues tangled and intertwined so vigorously inside my mouth; it was as if there was a circus going on in there. But of course, eventually, you emerged as winner of our battle for dominance. Not that I minded; you were always winning. I could never win you.
The rain got heavier and heavier, and the thunders got louder and louder. We were completely drenched, from head to toe, but we didn't care. The dark and sad atmosphere no longer affected me. I won't let it. Because with you around, I could do anything.
xxxxx
Gently, I'm cutting apart this love
Surely, I'm wounding this love
But the path I've chosen doesn't matter
xxxxx
Reluctantly, we pulled ourselves apart. We needed our breaths of air. I panted and panted, because I was the one who fought the most. But you; you were simply staring at me, breathing slowly, giving me that mocking half-smirk once again. That was what I loved about you. You were always so confident, so independent. Why did you have to be so perfect?
Mentally, I begged for more, but you refused my offer. You leaned back just a little, but our hands remained; they were still intertwined. You continued to stare at me with those magnificent dark eyes. Somehow, you being completely wet now revealed the youthful features I never thought you had in your face. You no longer looked like the brave man I knew who always took the first step, but instead a little boy who was innocent and curious in anything and everything. I never knew you looked this cute, but then again, I bet you didn't too, until now. You tilted your head and smiled at me again, but this time, it was a different smile. It was no longer that loving smile that was just on your face a second before. The same went for your eyes too; they were no longer looking into mine, as if examining every detail of my pupils. What happened to the flames?
"Are you sure about this?" you asked, your voice no louder than a whisper. You looked at me with the most innocent eyes, but at the same time, they showed me otherwise. You continued to stare at me undoubtedbly; it was as if you were judging me.
At first I was confused; I didn't know what to say. I didn't like the look you were giving me; they were making me feel uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable. Please look away. Part of me wanted you to oblige, but the other wanted you to be by my side forever. What do I do in a situation like this? It was my first time.
Then I began to think of her. Again. Why did she always pop up in my mind at the wrong times? Was this a sign? What message were these images trying to tell me?
But it was all too late. What was the point of asking all these questions? Your smile faded; even the childish look you had in your eyes had disappeared. You were now staring blankly at me; I didn't know if you were upset or if you couldn't think of a proper thing to say. You just stared, so I stared back. I felt your grip on my hand loosen, and my heart skipped a beat. No. What were you trying to do?
xxxxx
Contrary to your desires, in this relentless fate
Love and kindness cornered you
xxxxx
We continued to stare at each other for a long while, and while doing so, I felt the rain getting even heavier, and the atmosphere getting even gloomier. It was so close to affecting me. So close. But I didn't want our moment to be ruined. Not by something as petty as this.
xxxxx
The ceaseless rain wets our shoulders, side by side
Gently, I'm cutting apart this love
Constantly, I'm losing my thoughts
But I've walked this road without looking back
xxxxx
"I'm sorry," you whispered. Your wet hair had now covered more than half of your face. I could no longer see your eyes. Somehow, I knew that under all those thick tresses, you were hiding a disappointed frown. You were upset with me, I knew it.
An apology. An apology from none other than you. I never expected this. I never knew you knew how to apologise, and not only that, you apologised to me. Why me? What did you do wrong? It was my fault, entirely. I already had someone else, but I just wanted you. I knew that a question has been haunting you for quite some time now; did I really want you for love, or was it just lust?
My fault. I was wrong this whole time, and the both of us knew that.
xxxxx
Penetrating our entwined hearts
Surely, I'm betraying this love
Gently, I'm cutting apart this love
xxxxx
I suddenly felt like I had just been shot, or stabbed in the chest. The wound was so deep, it hurt so much. I could feel your cold gaze on me, just when you pulled your hand apart from mine and got to your feet. You turned and began walking in the other direction, away from me. The rain was pouring down on you so hard, but you didn't care. You just continued walking, and walking. That was what I loved most about you; you never hesitate.
And I couldn't bring myself to do anything but watch you as you leave. I couldn't even tell if these water drops running down my cheeks were rain drops, or my tears.
My whole world was walking away from me.
xxxxx
But now I'm struck alone in the striking rain
xxxxx
My very first song-fic. xD This is a translation of the song, 'Utareru Ame', or 'Striking Rain', by Nana Kitade; translation done by yours truly. *bows* I love Nana. :3 I think she's a great J-Pop/Rock singer. Well, not much to say here. I hope you guys enjoyed this one. Till next time!
- A