So...sorry for the gloominess of this story. It was just something I had to get off my chest. Anyways! Thanks for giving it a chance and so sorry for all grammar mistakes! I suck royally at that! Also...for anyone who cares... I will be updating on A Fall to Darkness soon! I've had a lot on my plate lately but it is not forgotten!

Sam Winchester has always been acquainted with death. While other kids were still wishing on shooting stars Sam got up close and personal with the fact that death comes whenever it pleases and takes whomsoever it feels like without a care to anyone.

While other kids were cradle between their parent's bodies during thunderstorms or whenever the monsters reappeared under the beds, Sam was learning how to hunt all the supernatural entities that go bump in the dark. He—and his older brother Dean were never given the opportunity to be afraid. Not of life—and certainly not of death.

So, Sam just lived with the nagging knowledge that any happy moment he caught could be ripped apart without as much as a caveat. It was probably a gloomy thought for a fifth grader to carry around but it was true nonetheless.

The morning he walked into school and eyed the lit candles lined up against the entryway, Sam knew it was going to be a bad day. He'd heard all about Kyle Donovan. He was a fifth grader just like Sam—and he'd died over the weekend. Sam and Dean had been making dinner—burnt mac and cheese, when they heard the ambulance scream through the small town. It didn't take Dean long after that to get the whole story.

Kyle had been at the park, just a normal kid playing and having fun, when he'd just dropped like a brick. His friend—Harry something—he'd seen the whole thing. By Monday Sam learned that it'd been a one a million thing. Kyle had had a throat and ear infection—it drained down into his heart and killed him. Just like that.

The school had done a moment of silence for Kyle during announcements and the Principal said counselors were available if anyone needed them. Sam didn't really understand that. Why would anyone—well expect for the guy Harry—need to talk about Kyle's death? The only real way it affected them was the fact that'd get less homework tonight because the teachers felt bad today. No it was Sam who most likely going to have to dig the guy up now and burn his bones. Probably not today or this month—but someday he'd back. Because they always have to come back.

Sam was quiet on the walk back to the beat up old apartment they've been living in for past five weeks. Dean doesn't say anything but Sam doesn't miss the tiny looks he keeps sending his way. He knows Dean expects him to start talking any second or maybe even cry. Well Sam's not going to. He's not going to because he shouldn't. Six days ago he wouldn't have been able to pick Kyle Donovan out in a crowd—heck he still couldn't. His death—it was a tragedy, awful—and Sam didn't have the right to touch it. So he stayed silent.

He stayed silent all the way through the motel door and the two hours it took to finish his homework, and he was even going for a silent dinner when Dean finally broke.

"Speak your mind Sam." He ordered the fifth grader. "I heard about Kyle today."

"It's nothing…" Sam started but was stopped by his older brother's fierce green eyes, "It's not fair!" Sam erupted loudly smacking his hands down on the shabby motel table, "Kyle is—was just a kid! He was normal with a house and two parents…and, and…because of some freaky ear infection…" Sam sucked in a puff of air to control himself, "That should not have happened to him. Or to mom—or to anyone. It's not fair."

Dean didn't say anything for a minute; he just waited until Sam managed to calm down some more. Once Sam breathing wasn't going crazy Dean nodded. "It's not fair."

"Don't you dare tell me life's not fair," Sam hissed threateningly.

"You already know that." Dean said with a shrug, "Doesn't look like I need to remind you."

"Yeah…" Sam whispered crouching over his bowl of mac and cheese. His stomach coiled at the smell and he scrunched up his nose. He'd lost his appetite all of a sudden.

"Sometimes…things happen to…people," Dean started slowly, lowly, "things that you can't explain and that shouldn't have happened. You know as well as I that sometime people are just snatched away—and you can't get them back. You'll never get them back. It sucks—well that's life. It generally sucks. You just gotta keep one foot in front of the other Sam, and just keep moving forward."

"Optimistic Dean," Sam joked trying to lighten the too heavy atmosphere. Dean shrugged and stirred the cooling noodles in his bowl.

"Yeah, well life is short so you gotta live fast. No one's got time to sit around and gripe."

Sam nodded in agreement. There was no time. No time for him to sit around and worry over the family business. No time to worry about John feelings—or Dean's for that matter. Sam had to live his life the way he wanted. He needed to walk his own path. 'Cause life—or rather Death worked way too fast for Sam to wait for John Winchester to see his side. He'd have to make his own future and he'd have to start now. At the moment…he was thinking Stanford.

Dedicated to Jason: I love you and I miss you big brother.

FINISHED