AN: so guess who finally got around to posting their fics back on . me. it was a pain but I did it.

No one could pinpoint exactly when Yuuri just changed. It seemed to be overnight, however in actuality it was probably a thing that that had built up a while. A creation of Yuuri's fear of not being in control and failure. All they knew is one day Yuuri wasn't a stuttering, emotional, adorable little mess. He was now a cool, confident, bundle of repressed emotions and semi-crippling self hatred that manifested in the form of uncontrollable flirting.

His glasses had long been forsaken for contacts, his hair still messy but in a controlled manner and less in a "wtf is hair and how do it function". By twelve, Yuuri had also stopped being completely obsessed with Viktor (or at least it seemed so). At thirteen, it was astonishingly easy for Yuuri to qualify for the World Junior Championships. He made his junior debut with a silver in the Junior World Championship, shaking up the world of ice skating.

At twenty, Katsuki Yuuri breaks Viktor Nikiforov's gold medal streak in the World Championships.

"Your name is Nishigori Yuuko, correct?" The interviewer asks as he holds up his voice recorder to her.

"Yes sir." She answers, sipping on her tea, quickly glancing at her watch. She needed to open up the rink soon.

"What's your relationship with Katsuki Yuuri?" At the mention of his name her eye twitches slightly, she takes a deep breath and answers honestly.

"We're childhood friends, I've known him since I was five." The reporter hums his acknowledgment and checks off the question from his list.

"If you had one thing to say to him now, what would it be?" Her eye twitches violently and she replies, her voice dangerously annoyed.

"Katsuki fucking Yuuri," she starts and the reporter blanches, "sending me memes once in a blue fucking moon is not 'keeping in touch', if you don't call me soon, I will fly to Detroit and hand you your ass on a platter. If I so much as get one Shrek reference in our call so help me I will kick your ass so hard you'll only see it once a year, orbiting the planet like a fucking comet, do you understand me?" She pauses, smiling at the pale and shaking reporter, "That's all!"

"R-right, moving on…"

A week later after the interview was released, Yuuko gets a call from the one and only Katsuki Yuuri.

"Yuuko, according to all known laws of aviation-" he's cut off by an enraged screech, but he continues fearlessly, "there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its' wings are too small to get its' fat little body off the ground…"

Shielding his eyes from the flashing lights of cameras, Yuuri squints intensely at the reporter practically shouting at him, ah, Yuuri thinks dully, he cute.

"Yuuri, what was your inspiration for your theme this season?" The cute reporter asks, licking his lips, pen twitching in his hand. Yuuri pauses, eyeing the reporter with his well practiced bedroom eyes (he practices in the mirror, just so that he can at least seem in control of himself), the other man blushes, and Yuuri smirks.

"Well," he drawls, "this year I've decided to use my crippling depression-" there's an outraged cry from the slew of reporters and news casters.

"You say that every year Yuuri!"

And "Give us a serious answer for once!"

Chuckling, Yuuri absentmindedly adds this encounter to the list of fuck ups he'll review late at night in his bed when he can't sleep. "On a serious note," he continues, "my real inspiration for this theme of 'Love' is appreciation and love I feel for my friends and family. It's to show them through my skating that I adore them with all of my being." He says staring resolutely at the wall, trying very hard not to blush at the honest admission that left his mouth because he feels really bad about wasting literally everyone's time with his bullshit.

The press conference goes rather smoothly after the incident, and as soon as Yuuri leaves the building and is in the car with Celestino driving, the false persona he puts on for literally every interaction he has in public and unfamiliar people fades. He goes back to being Yuuri. Awkward as all shit and constantly a massive blob of anxious thoughts and mildly suicidal tendencies. Slowly he sinks his face into his hands and takes a shaky breath, fighting the urge to sob right then and there. Slowly, without acknowledging the trembling in his hands he glances into the rear-view mirror to see Celestino eyeing him worriedly.

"Bad day?" The man asks. At Yuuri's nod, Celestino casts him an even more worried look. "Do you need me to pull over for you to…?" He doesn't finish but this is routine by now, Celestino has been his coach for more than five years now. The whole anxiety and depression thing isn't exactly new to his coach. Yuuri shakes his head no, not trusting his voice to speak what he wants. It's been awhile since it's been so bad that Celestino's needed to pull over for Yuuri's brain can calm the fuck down so that he can gag and dry heave on the grass instead of in a speeding metal structure that could easily kill him and everyone else on this road-

No. Yuuri cuts that thought off by the stem and eats it like the pig he is so the thought is shoved deep deep down. But yanno, if they did crash, maybe Yuuri would actually die, and while that's a semi-pleasing thought the idea of Celestino getting hurt makes him want to curl up and sob and shake and oh shit what if Celestino died?

Jesus shit, Yuuri thinks somewhat hysterically, these new meds are doing jack shit to help with this. With a forceful breath, Yuuri breaths out his anxieties like smoke and prays they stay out there instead of pushing themselves back into his mind like they have a tendency to.

It works until he can rush inside his apartment and sit his ass in the shower. He sits there for about two hours until Phichit forces him out with the complaint that he's sweaty from practice and how Yuuri should watch White Chicks with him tonight. Feeling a lot better, Yuuri climbs into bed and checks his social media. All the while ignoring how his brain feels like it's actively attempting to murder him.

There's a crash from the bathroom and Yuuri hauls himself out of bed to check on Phichit. Phichit, is of course ass up on the floor. "Tripped over the shower lip again?" The skater asks tiredly. There's a meek nod from the mass of flesh on the floor and Yuuri heaves a sigh and crawls back into his bed to pick up his forgotten phone.

v_nikiforov has followed you!

v_nikiforov: Yuuri?

v_nikiforov: Yuuuuuuuuurrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii?

v_nikiforov: yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii?

v_nikiforrov: :^((((((((((((((((((((((((((

With a yelp, Yuuri drops his phone on the bed and strangles out a cry of "Phichit! Viktor Nikiforov has slid into my DMs like motherfucking Orochimaru or some shit!"

There's another crash, a yelp, and Phichit slams down on top of Yuuri, butt ass naked and still dripping wet. Yuuri pushes and shoves at Phichit, trying to get out from under the other skater so he can text back or do something. They freeze as his phone lights up again.

v_nikiforv: yuuri, it's taken me a while to muster up the courage to tell you this but...

v_nikiforov: yuuri

Taking a deep breath, Yuuri prepares himself for the worst roast of his entire life. He doesn't think he can take it right now but if he has to he will engage in a super roast battle with Viktor Fucking Nikiforov if he has to.

v_nikiforov: i'm super gay for you