A/N: Hey guys! I'm back with another GA fic! I've fallen in love with the friendship between Alex and Meredith and it's all I can write about at the moment (sorry to the Power Ranger story followers, I'm really trying to get the next chapter finished! I really am!). I've been wondering what happened after the Alex leads Mer out of the hospital, after Zola gets taken away. I've looked, but I can't find any other stories addressing it and this idea popped into my mind so I took it and went with it. I hope it is what you are expecting!

I would like to thank Liv Cassidy for taking some time and reading through to see if it needed anything else or whatnot. I totally recommend her stories, they are amazing!

Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

"How's she doing?" The bartender gently asked, looking over at the woman in question.

"Not good, but not any worse." Alex Karev answered as he too looked over and watched the shell of one of his greatest friends stare into space. Meredith Grey was in another dark and twisty place, but this time it was deeper and he was afraid she wouldn't come out of it this time.

Alex sighed as guilt overtook him again. He looked down at his mug of beer as he felt Joe, the bartender, laid a hand on his shoulder in comfort, but it didn't help much. He had hurt his friend in so many ways and didn't know how to help her. He knew he could only be there for her, but even then he knew she didn't want him around. He also knew she couldn't be alone and that he was the only one, at that moment, who could be there.

It had been a month since the night he ratted her out to Owen Hunt, one of the surgeons at the hospital Alex works at, about her tampering with the clinical trial that she and her husband, Derek Shepherd, were working on. Owen, being the ever honest guy he is, told Richard, the chief of surgery, and Meredith was called in about it. She knew that Alex had told, she had asked him to promise not to say anything, and found him after leaving the chief's office. She told him that she got suspended and thus proceeded to kick him out of the house she owned and he rented a room from. Seeing the hurt and anger in her eyes tore him up. He has regretted what he did ever since, especially now.

"So, wanna tell me what happened?" Joe prodded. He had heard rumors of something happening between the two friends, but didn't know what it was until Cristina came in two weeks ago and he asked her about it. Afterward, Cristina would give him updates when she would come in; both Meredith and Alex had been avoiding the bar for a few weeks now and when they came in that night, together, Joe knew something was wrong. Just last night Cristina had told him that they still were barely talking to each other.

Alex sighed as he kept his eyes on Meredith.

"You probably heard about her and Shepherd trying to adopt Zola, one of the kids that I brought over."

"Yeah, I did." Joe affirmed.

"Well, they lost her." Alex stated.

"What do you mean?" Joe asked with worry.

"Meredith didn't tell the social worker that she and Shepherd were separated nor the fact that she was fired. The social worker found out and Mer ran. She took Zola and hid in the basement of the hospital. Cristina found them and asked me to help by making it out like she brought Zola in for a checkup. The social worker didn't take it and Zola was taken for re-evaluation," Alex explained

"Woah." Joe said in shock.

"Yeah, and to top it all off, Shepherd just left her. He was there when Zola was taken, from what I saw through the window of the room, he tried to talk the social worker out of it. After the social worker left with Zola, he left Mer standing there and didn't even look at her," Alex told him.

"What about Cristina? I thought she would have been here." Joe wondered.

"She and Hunt had an appointment of some kind. Haven't seen either of them for hours," Alex said. Joe sighed.

"She's been through a lot, hasn't she?" Joe stated more than asked.

"Yeah, she has." Alex agreed with a sigh.

"Almost loosing Shepherd to his wife, almost getting blown to bits, almost drowning, losing her mom, losing her step-mom..."Joe recounted.

"Getting hit and told she was a killer by her father." Alex chimed in.

"What?" Joe asked, "When did this happen?"

"After her step-mom died. Meredith was on her case and she was the one to tell him that Susan didn't make it. He slapped her when she tried to continue the spiel we have to give, saying how sorry we are and that crap. She doesn't know it, but I was there when it happened. I had taken a patient outside for a bit and was just walking in when he did that. If it wasn't for Shepherd, the guy would be talking out the back of his head." Alex said with a bit of malice in his voice.

"Wow." Joe said.

"Yeah, then a few days later, the day of her funeral and also the day of the intern exam, he comes and tells Meredith that she shouldn't show, that she killed her and wasn't wanted. Cristina, Izzie, George and I watched as she, both internally and externally, shut down. She almost failed the exams that day and then sat like a statue in the waiting room. We all took turns sitting with her, not wanting her to be alone just in-case she did something stupid. Like when she tried to drown herself in the bathtub." Alex shared.

"Wait, what?" Joe asked, confused. "What do you mean by 'tried to drown herself in the bathtub'?" He hadn't heard about this either.

"Well, before her mother died, she was brought in with a heart problem and she was lucid. She told Meredith that she was ordinary and pretty much told her she was worthless. Meredith took it hard and the day of her almost drowning, and Ellis's death. Shepherd found her in the bathtub, under the water. He got her out and before the whole thing with the ferry crash, he rounded up me and the others and told us about it. He said he believed that she was suicidal and needed to be watched."

"I would have, too." Joe butted in.

"Yeah, but not everyone believed that until after the ferry accident happened. Cristina was too caught up with her engagement and Izzie was trying to be a better surgeon than everyone else. George was...I don't remember what his problem was at the time. I believed Shepherd and promised him I would keep an eye on her. I had been since after I first met her." Alex confessed.

"Really?" Joe asked incredulously, remembering all the times Meredith and Cristina talked about how Alex was a jerk.

"Yeah." Alex stated.

"What about you being a jerk to her when you guys first met?" Joe asked, recalling what Cristina and Meredith told him about Alex at the time.

"I was trying to get to know her. See who she was. I could tell she was fiery and wanted to see how much she could put up with. First I riled her up by calling her a nurse even though I knew she wasn't. Then I tried to hit on her. I wanted to see if she was easy or not." Alex explained.

"Easy or not?" Joe asked with a little confusion.

"Yeah, I wanted to see if she would take whatever someone threw at her. I wanted to see how much protection she needed. I mean, she's tiny, anyone would think they could just take her and do whatever...but I know differently. She is one hell of a fighter, her size really helps her cover who she really is and lets it be a surprise. Shepherd actually had to save me, literally. If he hadn't come in…I don't know what would've happened to me." Alex finished.

"Yeah, I kind of got that when she came in and asked for straight tequila." Joe agreed and Alex chuckled. He grew solemn after a few seconds.

"Yeah, but I do have to protect her in one way." Alex said.

"How?" Joe asked.

"Emotionally. She is good, physically, but emotionally is where she gets hurt the most." Alex said with a sigh.

"You talking about Shepherd?" Joe stated more than asked.

"Yeah, and also her mom." Alex added.

"Oh?" Joe prodded.

"Well, I told you what her mom did to her before she died, but that isn't all. She is part of the reason Meredith is going, or was going, to therapy." Alex put out. Joe's eyes widened.

"Really? When was this?" He asked.

"Around the time Shepherd was with the scrub nurse." Alex answered.

"Oh." Joe said, his mouth in a "0" shape.

"Yeah." Alex said.

"It was during that time that we found out how much her mother hurt her." He continued.

"Rebecca, or as I called her Ava, remember her?" He asked and Joe nodded. Joe remembered Izzie saying something about her.

"She was a patient of mine and I kinda fell for her. She was one of the victims from the ferry accident and I found and saved her. She was pregnant, had amnesia and horrible facial injuries. She had the baby a little after the accident and got her face fixed up by Sloan. While she had amnesia, she fell in love with me, and I her. Shepherd had to do surgery to fix a bleed but couldn't until after the baby was born. When he did, she started to remember things. She was married and remembered her name, which at the time I had been calling her Ava. Her husband was found and he took her and the baby back home.

A few months later she comes back and tells me that she is pregnant, but after Izzie did an ultrasound it is found to be false. Rebecca stayed for a while until she starts acting weird. I come to find out she has a personality disorder. Before I learn about that she tried to kill herself, cut both her wrists." Alex explains.

"How does Meredith coming in this?" Joe asks, a little afraid of what he will learn.

"Well, she came home after Rebecca's attempted suicide and saw the blood that wasn't cleaned up. About fifteen minutes after she had gotten home, Izzie and I came in after committing Rebecca. When we walked through the door... it was a nightmare." Alex replied with sigh. Joe winced.

"How so?"

"I guess seeing the blood brought on a flashback for Mer. It took us almost an hour to get her out of it, almost made us take her to the hospital. She was crying and scrubbing a hole in the floor where the blood had been. She kept saying stuff like "you can't die" and "you can't leave me".

Come to find out, her mother had slit her wrists and almost bled out in the same place Rebecca did. Mer had only been a little girl." Alex finished, running a hand over his face. Joe gave a slight whistle of disbelief.

"Her parents weren't the best were they?" Joe thought out loud.

"No, they weren't. I mean, I had an abusive dad, but at least I had a mom that at least loved me. I might have had to take care of her most of my life, but I knew she loved me and cared for me. Ellis and Thatcher..."Alex trailed off with a shake of his head.

"Are you done reminiscing about my life?" another, familiar, sarcasm filled voice butted in, making both men jump.

"Mer, I thought..."Alex started to say before getting cut off. He was a bit flustered that he hadn't noticed her come over or even come out of the trance-like state she had been in.

"I know, but I've been listening the whole time. Don't worry I'm not mad." Meredith said in her dead toned voice, the one she usually used during her dark and twisty days. She was staring down at the bar table, avoiding eye contact. Both Alex and Joe looked at her with worry. They noticed she still wasn't there, her mind in two different places. The same look she had when Alex brought her in two hours ago.

Alex put a hand on her arm and rubbed a little, making her look at him.

"You ready to go?" Alex asked gently, not wanting to do anything that might make her push him away. She nodded. He handed her his keys and told her to wait in the car, that he would be there in a moment. He watched as she walked out the door.

"Thanks man. Here..."Alex said as he pulled out a few bills and handed them over. Joe pushed his hand away.

"They are on me. Just keep protecting her, she needs it right now. At least until Shepherd gets a clue and comes running back, which you know will happen." Joe advised. Alex gave his signature smirk.

"Yeah, but even when that happens I'll still watch out for her. Just because he is around doesn't mean she is always protected, sometimes she needs protecting from him even if they are good. I'll be like the secret service, silent and there." Alex pointed out. Joe nodded

"Also, don't assume things with her. She forgives you, I can see it." Joe added.

"Yeah, I know. I can see it when she looks at me." Alex agreed.

"You got a tight bond there, don't break it. You've damaged it, but it can be fixed, it just takes time." Joe said.

Alex nodded, gave him a handshake in thanks and headed out the door with a new idea of who he was.

So, how did y'all like the little talks about the past? Took me forever and a lot of searching to figure out what storyline came first, LOL.

Thanks for reading! Please read and review, but no flames, just constructive criticism.