Kuro-Kun: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME /cries/ I'm so lonely. Here's a smutty crack parody for you. Enjoy...IF YOU CAN HAHAHA...ha. I'm not funny

Disclaimer: I don't own KHR or any of its characters

Warning: Yaoi.

Kill me now, please.

Dark liquid poured from the objects rear end, gasping as a sharp pain overtook it. It ached everywhere. It hurt too much.

"Ngg Bel- i-it hurts." A voice squeaked, trying adjust to the feeling. It seemed impossible. "I don't want this anymore...T-take it out!"

"But this is your birthday present." A deep voice croaked in response, "Froggy will like it later, just relax. It's hurting me too. The prince lubed you up well."

How the fuck could he relax? Was this a moment to relax? But... "Ugn fine."

His muscles were less cramped around the others rod which made it less painful, surprisingly. But it still hurt.

"There. See?"

"It still hurts.."

How did Fran even get into this mess in the first place?

To start with, it was the so-called Frogs birthday today.

xx

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY." Squalo screamed, unnecessarily loudly, making everybody's ears bleed. "YOU'RE 18. NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE."

"Jesus, calm down Squalo." Lussuria responded, flicking his finger on to his forehead. "Franny needs to get a job and look for an apartment first. He can't just magically get one for freeeeeee~~"

Xanxus threw a glass at them and growled, "Shut up trash, you're too loud."

"Something ups his ass." Squalo snorted, dodging the attack.

"His dick is supposed to be up your ass but okay." Belphegor remarked, standing near the birthday boy.

What the fuck was going on anymore.

Apparently, Lussuria and Squalo had been arguing for hours and Xanxus was getting mad- is mad. Belphegor stood next to Fran drinking his punch as the teal headed male tried to process what was going on.

"Oh, it's my birthday." He shone, finally understanding...He was a bit slow sometimes..(he is more than a bit slow)

"Where are my presents?"

"Uhm they already gave you your presents."

Fran realized he was wearing a taco hat and held some jalepenos while a fake mustache was drawn on his face. When did this happen?

"Oh."

"I still have to give you mine, baby." Bel winked, making Fran shudder in disgust, "I put it in your room."

"OHHHH OHH OHHHH FRESH GOSSIP." Lussuria screamed, kicking Squalo away. He ran to Belphegor and Fran which made them run as well. Looked like someone overheard some juicy things. LET THE RUMORS BEGIN.

"I hate that gay." Fran gasped, hiding in his room with Bel as Lussuria creeped the halls- wait

Wait

Fucking wait

Shit.

He was in his room and the door was locked and Belphegor was probably going to rape him.

SURPRISE MOTHER FUCKER.

"Don't rape me, I'm a virgin." He pleaded rather dully.

"What?"

"Aren't you going to rape me?"

Belphegor made a face which was not visible to Fran since it was so dark in the room, "Your present is under the bed."

"So you creeped into my room, went through my belongings like a pervert and stuffed a present which is probably something gay and are planning to rape me." Fran concluded, walking over to his bed.

"And you say I need to clean my thoughts, I never did any of that." Bel huffed innocently. Did he honestly look like the type to do all that shit? "Calm your shit. I'm not going to rape you." He chuckled at the end which made the boy jerk up.

"What's with the laugh?" Fran questioned, opening the box found under his bed.

"Nothing. Nothing."

"I don't- what the fuck are these?" Fran held up some leather straps and a vibrator which was placed next to a dildo.

"I told you, I'm not going to rape you. Think of it as..a fun game."

And so, the activity proceeded to that

"I don't want to loose my ass virginity to you, you creep." Fran deadpanned, throwing the objects at him which was probably- which was a bad idea since he caught them easily.

"Don't worry baby, It'll only hurt a bit. I'll promise to treat you like a princess." He teased, crawling on top of the teal headed frog, who tripped over his own bed. He didn't struggle to get the fuck away, which was surprising.

"I guess I have no choice. Ravish me, senpai." He responded in a flat tone.

"Froggy is unsexy."

"Well excuse me. Do you want this hot body or not?"

Truth to be told, Fran secretly liked his senpai. With his heart going doki doki, he could die in heaven- or hell. Anyone would do; didn't matter. This was strangely turning him on. Nothing even happened yet, what the hell. He was getting turned on by Bel being on top of him.

It was sexy, he was sexy.

"Of course." The prince replied, lightly brushing his lips against his neck, "You know how much I want you."

"Then take me."

Kuro-kun: I'll add the lemon in the next chapter if I feel like it...Okay, I will if this gets at least one review. I want to know if people are actually reading this or not