"they say he was a great man. she wishes she had known him. - elicia-centric. mild edwin."
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saudade
[sɐwˈdadɨ]
[portuguese word]
describes a deep nostalgia or profound melancholic longing for something or someone absent that one loves. it also often carries a repressed knowledge that the object of longing might never return.
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There's an empty space in the office to the right of the staircase on the first floor. Her mother's room is only half-full. There's space for three mugs instead of the two that lay in the cabinet. The closet across the hall is barren.
But her heart, her heart is full.
Her mother has always been a caring companion. She has been her best friend no matter how many times the other kids at school ridiculed her for it. Ms. Riza and Mr. Roy have always been there for her, like a second mother and a father figure respectively. Sissy visits frequently, grease on her chin and the sweet scent of apple pie lingering. Ed comes by just as often, always leaving a trail of happy memories and laughter in his wake. Al doesn't stop by so much as his brother, living in Xing, but when he does, there is never a dull moment.
Elicia is happy.
She can't feel more guilty for it.
Her father, dead when she was but a mere three years old, left a lasting impression on those he met. Mr. Roy would gaze at her distantly sometimes, the sheen in her eyes resembling her father's far too closely. Ms. Riza would absently call her by her surname sometimes when her gushing over her books became far too passionate. Ed would smile at her strangely at times, a smile she had come to call the "Remembering Maes Hughes" smile. Al would be more open about it, recounting stories of silly shenanigans her father had gotten himself into whenever she herself found herself found herself is a laughable situation. Even her mother would whisper an "I love you, Maes," every now and then, when she has had a little bit too much wine and not enough sleep.
The only person who didn't see her father in her is Sissy.
Sissy didn't know her father as well as the others, but she loved him anyway. Her father had cared for the girl as well, seeing an admirable trait in her that he couldn't quite place.
Elicia only knows that because she sees it as well.
Sissy had admired her father. She had seen him as someone she could grow to care deeply for. Someone she was glad to have met in her lifetime. Without her father's pushiness, Elicia would have never met Sissy. It hurt, knowing that. Knowing that without her father, so many important people in her life wouldn't be in her life at all.
Elicia remembers Ed and Sissy's wedding. Flowers and pearls and love and friendship. It had been gorgeous. The vows were short but sweet, nothing over the top because dammit Ed is bad with words. She remembers one line from Ed's vows, happy and sad all at the same time. "From the first time you came to Central to fix my automail when I was fifteen, Hughes knew." There hadn't been a dry eye in the room.
The reception had been just bustling with activity, a type of controlled chaos only an Elric wedding could pull off. A few were drunk in a corner, others were swaying to the beat on the dance floor, and Elicia's mother sat at her table, eyes misty.
"He would've been so happy to see them together."
Elicia, seven years old and too young to understand, hadn't quite grasped the impact her father had had upon those he met.
Maes Hughes touched every corner of her life. From the awed gazes of her teachers to the quiet respect that her classmates gave her on Veterans' Day, to the civilians around town, to the people she loved.
They say he was a great man. Elicia wishes she had known him.
first fullmetal alchemist fanfiction^^
disclaimer: i don't own anything
constructive crticism welcome :)