Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns everything to do with Twilight. I do not.
Thanks to my Beta, crazierthanu.
This one-shot was donated for the Fandom for Sexual Assault Awareness.
Edward
"You came into my home, sat yourself in front of my children and proceeded to cuss, swear and question my authority as a Dad." Edward was enraged, running his long fingers through his unruly bronzed-needing-a-serious-trim hair. He had been practicing this speech all the way home in his car as he gripped his steering wheel until his knuckles were white.
"Did we kick you out? NO! We thought you were interesting. Well let me tell you that right now things are going to change.
Yesterday you were talking to my kids about sex. Deviant sex. I suppose everyone is allowed their opinion, and yes, there is such a thing as free speech, but seriously, some things should just stay in the bedroom.
Then I found out that Bella "loves you"; can't take her eyes off of you. She wanted you in our bedroom, actually wants me to share her with you."
Edward felt his rage build even further. He eyed the crowbar on the front seat. "Oh, there will be screams, and it's going to get messy."
For a moment there was a distraction. He saw the red flashing lights in his rear-view mirror. 'Oh no, oh no, oh no - must hide the evidence,' he muttered to himself as he carefully slid the crowbar onto the floor. He painfully and slowly pulled the Volvo over to the shoulder.
Why am I afraid? I MUST NOT LOOK WORRIED. His thoughts were racing at 1000 miles per minute. The very act of not looking worried made him look all the more worried - ironic. It was ironic because if he didn't look worried the cop might suspect that something was going on.
The cop looked professional but way too young to be a cop. "Sir, do you have any idea why I pulled you over?"
Edward felt his throat dry up. "Ah, no officer…"
"Can I see your license, registration and WHATEVER?"
Edward was already reaching for the glove compartment trying to cover the crowbar...the evidence to be. Fortunately the Cop didn't see it.
"I pulled you over because your vehicle sticker expired yesterday."
This took Edward by surprise. "Oh man, I totally forgot about that," he rasped, then smiled feebly.
The cop went on, "looks like it is your birthday too... well, I'm giving you a warning. Have a happy birthday as well."
WHAT the LIVING heck. Yes, heck. He hated to swear. Inside my brains are almost fried and this guy is wishing me a happy birthday.
The cop smiled, gave him his license and started walking back to the car. Edward neatly placed the papers on the passenger seat. Then he signalled, ever so carefully and proceeded to his destiny, his freedom, his raison d'etre.
Happy Birthday. Some birthday. Once again that pervader of pure evil wrecked the only day, his day. Obnoxiously interrupting the birthday song with what - pure, ignorant drivel - that's what.
Well tonight,you die, You die... YOU DIE.
He approached the driveway, the neatly trimmed lawn, the picture perfect house; the hell hole inside.
Taking up the crowbar in his hands, he embraced the cold steel and slid it up his sleeve. He took a short quick breath, only to give him the added nerve. There is no turning back now. He opened the unlocked door, and said 'hi' to his wife - she didn't even acknowledge him - instead her full attention was on his soon-to-be victim.
The rest was a blur, he growled, then the screams came, the repeated yelling began; it was almost like in the movies when everything goes in slow motion. First to fall under his fury was the 51-inch plasma TV, then the small flat panel in his bedroom and finally an old RCA that made a popping sound and the most sparks.
Bella
Curled up on the fireplace mantel she sleeps. Her orange brown and black fur somehow accentuates an exquisite deep purr that reminds me of a time of comfort, a sleep, purrchance to dream...
Oh to live like that cat. Bella was trying to drift off to sleep, her flight delayed, then stuck on the tarmac at JFK. She was exhausted. Yes. Fucking exhausted.
Her husband flipped out conveniently during her video conference call with the board of directors. She was now on her way to Mother's and a few days of rest. Her cat was her happy place.
She hated the middle seat. And there she was sandwiched between a husband and wife - first-time flyers. People who were "keen of forks" to coin a politically correct term for a couple of people who obviously liked to eat – a lot.
She was frustrated because usually couples liked to sit together - these two didn't. Rather, they wanted to share their flying experience and their whole life story and… do you know an eight letter word for big lizard? Why, being in the middle made her kind of like a cousin. She felt the need to scream. Yes, I do know that answer. Now SHUT UP!
AND… quit sucking on cough candies. She felt she was in the middle of a mentholyptus steam bath.
Back to the cat.
Oh how she longed for the cat.
She finally drifted off.
She woke up to what she thought was the sound of the cat hacking up a fur ball.
As her mind melted her dream into reality she realized the guy beside her was puking into an air sick bag. The woman on the right was instructing him how to do it.
Bella reached up and rang the stewardess. The twenty-something girl looked concerned and placed her hand on his shoulder as he dry heaved.
"I RANG BECAUSE I NEED ANOTHER SEAT," said Bella rather gruffly.
"I'm sorry, Ma'am, but we are in our last hour of flight, everyone must remain seated. Regulations you know," the stewardess lectured.
"I am not a Ma'am! I am a CEO of a publicly traded company. I want another seat NOW!" Bella spoke a little too loud. She then unbuckled her seat and literally climbed over the guy, hating the fact that she had left her shoes under the seat in front of her.
The stewardess looked at her like she was looking at a badly behaved child and scolded sternly, "I will only ask you once to sit down... Ma'am."
"I am not sitting THERE anymore," Bella interrupted. She felt righteous indignation and a days' frustration of not even being even able to get a business class seat. Then from behind her, she felt a firm hand on her upper arm. Without thinking, she swung around with her tiny fist - a natural reaction after all those self defence classes. Her ring cut the cheek of a guy who looked actually quite handsome…
It wasn't even two seconds later while her petite body was lying on the ground, face down, with her hands securely locked behind her back that she realized he was an air marshal. His knee was on her shoulder and she found it hard to breathe.
"MA'AM - you will need to calm down," he said it calmly, yet assertively, but she could sense the anger in his voice.
After what seemed like an eternity he stood her up and brought her to the very back row. The center seat - yet again.
"Well this is precious, you don't understand..."
After the plane landed, several agents entered the craft and formally placed her under arrest. There was a crowd of cameras and media at the airport gate.
By the time she was being processed, the board of directors had already held an emergency meeting.
She heard the sound of the metal doors shut behind her as she was led to her cell.
And the cat, licked her paw, rolled over and slept quite well; thank you very much.
Alicekat
Katchat mesaage bord
Tyme:2sleepsbefourdark:Alicekat: Humin dat I own be bad brok spaking windoh
Tyme:2sleepsbefourdark:Jaspurrkat:HAF(hak a furrball) wit wat
Tyme:2sleepsbeforudark:Alicekat: wit hevy dawgstik din mare humins tak away
Tyme:2sleepsbfourdark+1/2pur:Jaspurrkat: 2 ware?
Tyme:2sleepsbfourdark+1/2pur:Alicekat: 2 vat I tink meybee git fixt
Tyme:2sleepsbfourdark+1fullpur:Jaspurrkat: good shud mak him slepe nat wanner rown
Tyme:2sleepsbfourdark+1fullpur:Alicekat: ROFP (rolling on floor purring)
Tyme:2sleepsbfourdark+11/2pur:Jaspurrkat: wat u dit?
Tyme:2sleepsbfourdark+11/2pur:Alicekat: tawt hym lasson waarmwatered pottad plaent den draroped hot
One en hes fevarate shoo
Tyme:2sleepsbfourdark+2pur:Jaspurrkat: rararararow! Teech hem! Bbst (be back sleep tyme)
Tyme: 1wakeaftardark+1krezyrun:Alicekat: Grarl humin laft 2 go har mathers op nort
Tyme:1wakeaftardark+1krezyrun:Jaspurrkat: lokt at yar humin on spake windoh goyin 2 jL... wats JL?
Tyme:1wakeafterdark+1krezyrun1/2pawlik:Alicekat: har nat so bat. Har pat Alicekat... JL is lik littar bax dat u haf 2 sleeps in an shar. Wit dawgstiks rownd u.
Tyme:1wakeafterdark+1krezyrun2pawliks:Jaspurrkat:HAF! Wat r u 2 dew?
Tyme:1wakeafterdark+1krezyrun2pawliks:Alicekat: I kepe werm ladge werm til shee git bak heer. N sleep an har pillow. JL do har goot shey wal klene my littar mere aftan wan shey bak hare.
Tyme:1wakeafterdark+2krezyrun:Muffincat: wal haf a slepe nowe
Tyme1wakeafterdark+2krezyrun:Alicekat: BNPD (bye now purr deeply)
Tyme1wakeafterdark+2Krezyrun:Muffincat: NNDLDDB (nite nite don't let the dog bite)
A/N: Please leave a review, but it has to be in 'cat' talk. I had fun writing this and thanks for reading.