I do not own Static Shock! Funny what comes to your mind when someone makes an offhand comment, such as 'My friends and I would use to moo when the crowds all headed in one direction'. Because everyone goes back to their car after a show.
On with the story!
The fireworks at the park had been awesome. Sharon had decided that the city could do one night without her Superheroes and had roped everyone into a camping trip she had won.
Richie and Virgil agreed to come for one day, riding up on a motorcycle Richie had built for innocuous transportation, complete with legal license plates.
They spent the day hiking, talking, and playing cards. They staked out a fairly good spot with a picnic basket around seven, and went to see the center with Sharon, Adam, and Pops before nine rolled around.
Walking back, Richie split off from the group. Finding the site before the others, he pulled off his hat, waved it, and hollered, "VIRGIL!"
Realizing that the rest of the them where spread out quite nicely, wondering where their site went, Richie waited until they all signaled they had seen him and made their way over.
Sitting down, Richie started setting out plates and water. The others drifted in.
"How did you remember where this was?" Virgil asked, sliding down so he landed more on the tarp underneath the blanket.
"Simple. I looked around when we made camp. Also, a black double stroller is a pretty good landmark." Richie gestured towards a family with kids and a clunky black stroller.
Given the surroundings, the stroller stood out as much as a person in a chair.
"Also, I was headed for an area unoccupied by people. Negative space." Virgil rolled his eyes an accepted the napkins from Sharon.
They sat back and ate.
"So, you two going to be okay for the ride home? You need any money for gas?"
"We're good. My bike doesn't run off gas. So I made sure to park in a sunny place to get an extra charge and power it down." Richie was really proud of his inventions. The drawback was the limited range of the bike.
Electricity needed to recharge. Not every way station was equipped to carry him, and most batteries were still clunky and heavy.
Or the battery could be asking if 'the power is too much', 'I need a brake' and 'Did you see that one chick? Yowza!'
Yes, carrying a battery certainly did deal away with the limited range problem.
Virgil rolled his eyes, sliding the plate into a plastic bag and grabbing an apple.
"Well, drive safely."
"Sure thing, Pops."
The show was fantastic. Hanging back after the first of the crowd bottle necked out and caused back up, they cleaned up the site and while Sharon, Adam, and Pops headed back to the campground, Richie and Virgil headed to their parked bike.
"You think it'll still be there?"
"For the last time, Beep Beeps like Backpack. She'll let me know if she's gettin' jacked. That and a loud siren are usually a deterrent. There is no way to offline that GPS unit. Even turned off, she's still on."
Virgil kept the immature comment to himself. Sure, they were twenty-two, had a job and still moonlighted as Superheroes. In fact, they had to split an apartment, and agree on when to be out of the apartment so the other could have his date over.
Not that Richie ever brought his male company home, if he even had any. Virgil deeply suspected that Gear knew exactly where the prostitution ring was was because a certain someone had been going dancing for tips.
Not that he could ever prove that Richie was dancing in a Nightclub. His partner would pass it off as 'information gathering' and leave it at that.
No. Now was not the time or place for that.
Richie followed the crowd. He palmed a broken flashlight to Virgil. The field where the fireworks were in view had lights around the edges that came back on once the show was over. The trees covering the path didn't provide light.
"One day, they need to string some Christmas lights here for the path."
Virgil rolled his eyes and powered up his hand. The pace picked up slightly, before coming to a complete stop.
"Why aren't we moving?" A woman asks.
"More than likely someone brought the car around to pick up the rest of the family." Richie loudly replies. Not loudly as in rudely, or with a raised voice, but loud in the fact that it's a packed area and dark, and everyone heard the woman grumbling to herself.
"Man, I remember back in high school how we would moo whenever everyone started heading to the cafeteria." Virgil cracks.
Richie snickers.
"Virgil Hawkins, answer the question about why Macbeth and King Lear are two of Shakespeare's best plays." A matronly voice rumbled from beside them.
Virgil jumped and twisted, looking for his old English teacher.
"Mr. Foley, would you care to explain how you knew the answer was four over pi?" drawled a voice to their right. Virgil craned his neck to look over Richie's shoulder.
"I'm surprised you haven't figured it out." Came Superman's voice from somewhere above them.
Virgil turned and looked at Rich, who was fighting an ear-splitting grin.
"Dude, how long have you been training to do that?"
"Precise muscle control." Rumbled out Batman's voice. "It's not good enough to fool a machine, but it's pretty neat. A good waste of time, waiting for you all the time."
Virgil rolled his eyes. "Anyone else you can impersonate?"
"I can for rah Rooby rack."
Virgil snickered. "Sorry, Rich, I'm all out of Scooby Snacks. But man, I thought all you could do was throw your voice."
"Yeah, that's real handy when you want someone to look left then right on Halloween." A voice puffed beside Virgil's left ear.
Grinning, they headed down another curve in the path.
"Anyone we know personally that you can impersonate?" Virgil requested.
"Well, there is Sharon, but she's a real sweet heart, so how about…." Richie trailed off, furrowing his brow. Someone that Richie and Virgil knew, not Static and Gear.
"Yo, I do believe that's you, Foley." Richie's face was set in concentration, focusing on the dark path.
"Dude! Excellent mimic of Francis. Go on, do it again." Virgil nudged him. No one seemed to notice that the light providing the only way forward after the fireworks was coming from a dead flashlight, and that the light was vaguely purple tinged.
"Yeah, Foley, that is a good impersonation."
A muscled arm wound its way over Richie's shoulders.
"Why don't you do it again."
Francis Stone leaned on the shorter male. Richie started to pale, and Virgil recalled the urge of wanting to moo. They were so tightly packed they couldn't even cause a scene.
"Well, Richie?"
Something snapped.
"Only my friends get to call me Richie. You have bullied me since High School, Francis. You can just keep on calling me Foley." Richie snapped in his own voice.
Francis removed his arm.
"I wasn't trying to intimidate you. It's just that the whole gang's here and you're amusing everyone within earshot. Ooooh, can you do Wesley?"
"Do who?" Richie sounded puzzle.
"I mean, imitate that 'As you wish' guy from that chick flick."
"The Princess Bride is not a chick flick! It has action, danger, intrigue, true love, and Miracle Max!" Richie yelped.
"Personally, I remember the time we imitated the Bishop." Virgil throws in.
"Mawwrage. What bwings us together, today." Richie recalls.
There's a snicker from behind them.
"Yeah, yeah, the old dude was cool," Francis cuts in impatiently. "But I've been arguing with Ebon about how Wesley phrases his woo-ing ways, and you're perfect to play tie breaker."
"You are asking me for help?" Richie rationalizes.
"Not help. And I'm not asking." Francis cuts back.
"What do you think, Virg? Sounds like Francis is asking for help."
"Hmmm. It's dark, confined, there are people everywhere, I'd say he's asking for help." Virgil dropped a hand out of sight, building a charge in case Static needed to create mass diversion.
"Fine. I'm asking for help. Will you?" Francis gritted out.
"As you wish." Richie replies.
Then he and Virgil break apart from the group and sprint towards the parking lot, ducking out of sight.
"Race you to Beep Beep?" Richie gasps out.
"Are they following?" Virgil shoots back, matching Richie's pace.
"I don't know. He got what he wanted."
"And then we bolted."
"Yeah, like a bunch of victims from their old high school tormentor. I think that'll keep our image, if not our pride." Richie gasps back. They make it to the very back corner from the entrance way, and Virgil ensures that there isn't a flame coming after them.
Then his helmet is on his head, and Richie has Beep Beep curtiously moving into the parking lane. His hand rests on her, as he wheels what people would mistake for a bike out of the parking lot.
Their hearts stop pounding once they're on the road.
"Need me to give it juice?" Virgil asks.
"She's got more than enough to get us home. Hop on." Richie slings a leg over, and then they're moving, slipping into the darkness.
"That reminds me," Virgil states over the mike, "that we have neighbors moving in tomorrow. Think you could lend them a hand and a house warming? I've got work."
"Sure thing, Virg."
Virgil kisses Richie on the cheek and heads off by six twenty AM to get to work. Richie goes back in and cleans the apartment, scouring with bleach and arranging the books. He hears the commotion outside.
"Hello!" Later in his years, he will wonder why the opened the door and left himself wide open without checking first. Spidey senses his foot.
"You guys need help?"
"Yeah, we're looking for two high school buddies with a fast mouth and an even faster sprint." Francis drawls from over a television stand.
Richie expects the look on his face is priceless.
"Er, I can explain or I can go make sandwiches for how many?" he tries.
"Let's see, Teresa's staying with her family, Maria's back with her family, so it's really just me, Ivan, and Shiv."
"Sandwiches for four. Got it."
"Four? I thought you were a nerd, Foley."
"Yeah, well, I'm eating them too, Francis."
Richie disappeared back into his apartment, shuffling through the pantry. He made peanut butter and jelly, and prepared some grilled cheese, before whipping up some turkey sub sandwiches, with lettuce and tomato. Not knowing the other boys choice of condiments, he grabbed a few packets from take out and headed to the door with the platters and napkins.
"I brought lunch!"
"Aren't you that kid I kidnapped?" Ivan asks as Richie sets the plates down on the counter.
"Yes. And I call my folks weekly, so unless you want another chair broken over your back, don't pull anything funny." Richie shot back.
"We're straight. I mean, we aren't looking to break anymore laws anytime soon." Ivan caught himself.
Wondering why Ivan rephrased his words, Richie remembered that the apartments in this complex were only for two people. And the couch didn't look like something to be slept on.
"I can bring over some drinks as well. Virgil suggested I throw a little 'welcome to the neighborhood' for the neighbors. We're right next door if you need us."
Ivan seemed to pale slightly, but he kept himself under control. If Richie hadn't been Gear for as long as he had, he would never have noticed the slight body language about Ivan not liking being right next to two of his victims.
"Oh! But Sharon and Adam are coming by sometime next month, so we could throw a real party! I mean, we haven't really seen Francis since High School, and it would be great! I always over cook. Anyone I can trade recipes with here?"
"Shiv can cook, but it's Francis who does the shopping. Did you say Adam? As in, the Rubberband Man?"
"Yeah! I mean, they'd be married already, but they keep putting it off. Something about not being able to find the Best Man. His brother, I think."
Richie moved around the kitchenette, helping put plates away. He found some paper ones and served the sandwiches, setting out the sandwiches and the condiments.
"Do you have any cups?"
"In that cupboard."
Since Richie's brain was super powered, he was marveling at just how weird this all was. His brain was analyzing that just putting the plates away was the main objective, as the haphazard placing was rather confusing and not at all efficient.
Francis and Shiv came through the door, carrying a mattress.
"Three flights of stairs. Ugh, that was horrible." Shiv gasped.
Francis set the mattress down against the wall. "It's not like it's heavy, it's just awkward."
"Lunch you two!" Richie called out. Francis jerked around hard enough to stumble over his feet. At least his pants were pulled up.
"Woohoo!" Shiv pranced over to them, pulling up a bar stool and sliding next to Ivan.
"Thanks for the grub!"
Richie made sure they were served before snagging a PB&J and a grilled cheese. The food disappeared at an alarming rate.
"I'll take these back and dispose of them. You need any help?" Richie asked.
"We're good." Ivan said flatly.
"Kay. Just holler if you need anything. We're the neighbors on the left."
"We?" asked Shiv.
"Yeah. Virgil and I are living together for now. He asked that I make sure the neighbors got a warm welcome." Richie stacked the plates, platter, and cups together before letting himself out.
Shiv looked between Ivan and Francis.
"Well, maybe they won't mind that Ivan and I are together."
Ivan smacked him upside the head. Gently.
"Idiot. It's none of their business if we're together. And besides, Francis, you said Richie was gay? You think he and Virgil are?"
Francis shook his head.
"I don't think so. But they were best friends when I left."
"I was talking about Gear and Static."
"Oh. Then, most likely, yeah."
Shiv snickered.
"If I was any kind of friend, I'd feel bad for you. The only single man around four guys hooked up to each other. Your love life is going to suck."
Francis rolled his eyes. He was not about to snap at Shiv when they were the ones to graciously let him stay with them, provided he keep his job, pay his share of the rent, and do other errands.
"Well, I know someone's whose love life is about to step off to the Honey Moon suit." Ivan comments.
"Really? Who?" Shiv asks, wiping down the counter.
"My brother's getting married."
"Congratulations, man!"
"Where the heck are we going to get you a tux?" Francis points out. "And congratulations."
"I have no idea."
Sidekicksrule2me: Hotstreak, Shiv, and Ebon just legally became our neighbors.
Putashocktoyou: Orly?
Sidekicksrule2me: From what I heard after they finished moving in, Shiv and Ebon did the horizontal mambo against the wall opposite my bed.
Putashocktoyou: Okay. You would never joke about that.
Sidekicksrule2me: And I don't know how to ask that they switch with Francis. You dating anyone right now?
Putashocktoyou: No. Feel free to avail yourself.
Sidekicksrule2me: Take care. See you in a few hours. We had lunch as the welcome party.
Putashocktoyou: Sure. See you soon. Bye.
Sidekicksrule2me: Bye.
Richie leaned back, wondering what he would do tomorrow when he was let back into work. Who knew WayneTech could forcibly make him take a holiday. Then again, working nonstop at his day job and then taking off to be Gear on side missions Batman deployed him for did grate on his ends.
His anonymity as a sidekick really did prove useful. But if one more person called him Gizmo, or Gadget, or even Giraffe- no matter what he said to Robin, that kid kept a tally of how many times his name was confused. The list was on an excel spread sheet now!
Sighing, Richie ran through a list of chores again, and deciding that he had earned his nap, checked his email for any disasters and logged off.
Francis pulled the earplugs out and tossed them on his dresser. Talk about investing in bulk. The apartment was a nice one. The door way led straight into the living room, with the kitchenette behind a counter that provided a nice enough table for now. The hallway past the kitchenette on the right side led to another small area, with Shiv's and Ivan's bedroom next to Richie's apartment, and his bedroom on the right side, next to the fire escape.
Assuming that each apartment was cookie cutter, Francis felt compassion for whichever male had the wall adjoining Shiv's and Ivan's room.
Those two were not quiet.
Of course, he also knew that Foley wasn't quiet, so maybe he wouldn't have to straight out and ask the other one if he was in a relationship. It did suck being the only one without a date. He could see how much of Shiv's world revolved around Ivan- scratch that. Ivan made up Shiv's universe.
Sighing, Francis rolled back. Starting tomorrow, he had a new commute to his work. Working as a glassblower was not something that he had expected in his life. But what could he say? With being allowed to retain his fire powers, he was able to support himself.
Sell a few pieces of his original work, and his lawyer managed to get him a deal. For the next five years, a percentage of his profits would go to the community, and in return, he was on parole.
So far, it had been four years. One more year and he could call himself a free man.
Shiv nestled up against Ivan. It was nice, having a bed actually big enough for them to fit on. Francis called it a Queen sized bed, and Ivan had to explain to his shorter lover very quickly that that was what the bed was called.
Francis still wondered what was so offensive, but kept his private musings to himself. They had a decent place, they had each other, they had locks on the door, they had jobs, however much they hated each in their own regard, and they had food.
What more could they ask for?
"You are having a shower in the morning. You reek." Ivan muttered into Shiv's hair.
"At least I smell like you." Shiv murmured back.
Virgil posted on the Justice League's version of Facebook what had happened. After reassuring them that they would be okay, he added that Richie could always upgrade their home defenses.
Like, see if they could ask the landlord if a Chihuahua with some attitude was allowed.
Superman actually liked that comment. Laughing to himself, Virgil logged off and headed home. Being a lawyer meant that he was usually working on one case or another. Of course, Virgil made it a point to do all of this work at the office. What would happen if Static flew into a fight and dropped a pocketful of papers all over the place.
Try explaining that you were returning the papers when no one could get ahold of your alter ego to the police.
With a sigh, Virgil dragged his feet into the living room, where Richie was waiting for him with pasta and grilled chicken strips.
"You spoil me, Rich." He murmured, slipping into his seat.
"Well, I did find your laundry and put it through the wash. You owe me. But what do you think? Set Ivan and Adam up to run into each other?"
"I wish you could give that brain of yours a rest."
Richie snickered. "Sorry. My brain never fully turns off. But I can at least follow one major line of thought now, and the rest turns into background noise. Some people are even hypothesizing that I'm developing another part of my brain, or that my subconscious is overlapping. But nothing medical to worry about."
Richie served the food and sat down.
"Well, she broke up with me today. She started seeing some guy, and didn't want to have a relationship with me and another guy, so I told her it was okay and let her go."
"Oh, Virgil, you'll always be the better man. She'll probably be better off. I mean, did you two ever share anything beyond being available?"
Virgil winced at Richie's back hand. The blond never criticized Virgil's dating habits, but to date, no one had made it past the six month mark.
"Oh? Anyone you're seeing, Rich? But yeah, she's an honest woman, and I'm happy for her."
Richie shook his head. "No one on my end. The last guy….our sexual needs weren't compatible."
"Oh, God, please let Rich find a guy who's only kinky for chocolate sauce." Virgil prayed.
Richie kicked him under the table.
"We were both ukes, okay?"
"What does that even mean?" Virgil yelped.
"It means we were too alike. For a relationship to be healthy, there must be more than an initial attraction. You need some hobbies, and then a few conflicting interests, and then find out if you can resolve the issues without grudges. We never argued. I mean, I'd blow up at him, and we'd both feel horrible about it, and patch it up, but we never really talked about what the real problems were. So we split."
Wondering why Richie didn't just pursue the course of being a guidance councilor, Virgil followed the logic.
"So, I'd be a bad partner."
"Huh? No, Virgil, you'd be awkward. We've been brothers too long for us to have a romantic ship set sail. Besides, you are hopelessly straight. You aren't even bi-curious." Richie pointed out.
Nodding, Virgil polished off his plate before setting them in the sink.
"Put those in the dishwasher!" Richie snapped.
"Yes, sir." Virgil replied.
"I clean this house, and you don't even notice! Off to bed with you! We'll talk about Sharon and Adam visiting in the morning over breakfast." Richie shooed Virgil off to bed, before tidying up and following him.
"Thanks for letting me crash. Shiv's a screamer, and I don't ever want to hear that again."
Flopping down on mattress on the floor, Richie fell asleep.
A/N: 3,800 words. I think I'll stop there. Maybe have a second chapter. I mean, this was just supposed to be Richie showing off impersonations, and now I have a romantic drama of Francis attempting to get into Richie's pants! Will he ever fall in love? Will Virgil play protective big brother and lead to confusion? Will Ivan be the best man, and finally get Sharon and Adam to have a wedding? Since we all know, submitting a signed piece of parchment that you're married and having the ceremony are two different things.