Disclaimer: I do not own Beyblade. If I did, Kai/Dranzer would be so canon.
A/N: Happy birthday, Kai! God, I've written lots and lots of story for his birthday but none of them came out well. This was the only one actually decent enough to be done, the others were either stopped in the middle of ended up being too long and get turned into unfinished WIP that I'd post later. I've known Kai for nearly 10 years and my love for him is as strong as ever, god knows how much I love him.
Kai was livid.
He had been livid since he woke up this morning and found out that Ian had almost killed his cat by giving him expired milk. The shorter boy had apologized and promised he wouldn't do anything to harm Kai's cat, ever. But then in only the span of five minutes, Ian almost sliced the cat's head off with knife. "Oh God, Kai, I'm so sorry! My hand slipped!"
Kai had rescued his cat to the sanctuary of his room and never let Ian get close to it again.
Just when he thought nothing could go wrong, he heard a loud crash from his kitchen. Ian sheepishly rubbed the back of his head as the kitchen appliance scattered messily in front of him, "My hand slipped again, Kai, I'm sorry."
The slate haired boy didn't do as much as saying anything, he merely turned around and left the kitchen.
Then everything was normal, or so it seemed. Kai plopped down on the couch, continuing his reading from last night. Spencer was nowhere to be seen, probably still taking care of the miniature garden in their apartment balcony. Tala and Bryan were in their room, doing god knows what. Actually, Kai knew what they were going to do, obviously because they were more than happy to let Kai know.
"God, Bryan, yes! There, Ah, God, Bryan, " Kai's eyes twitched, he tried to tune it out and focused on the reading.
"There? You mean here?" came Bryan's voice, "Here, you like it here, right, Tala? You naughty little wolf, I know you like it, say it."
Tala moaned loudly and Kai mentally cursed. There were pants and grunts from the read head and his lilac haired companion, Kai tried to channel all his focus to the book he was reading but failed as he heard Tala's scream, "Ahh, yes, Bryan, I like it! I love it!"
Bryan's laughter followed Tala's moan, "You love it, huh? Now tell me you want it."
"I want it, Bryan," Tala moaned deeper with every word.
"What do you want? Tell me, Tala, what do you want and where do you want it."
Another moan and then Kai felt himself shivering when he heard Tala said out loud, "Your cock, Bryan, I want them in my mouth."
Not wanting to damage his precious book, Kai hurled a pillow to the wall beside him where he knew the couple was 'coupling' behind, "For fuck's sake, be quiet you two! I can hear you just fine!"
"Take this, Tala! Take my cock!" Bryan screamed.
"SHUT THE FUCKING HELL UP!" Kai finally roared at the wall, standing up.
Instead of quieting down, the two got even louder. Kai realized that he was being ignored and he won't be getting his peace anywhere close to the bloody room, so he took his book and returned to his bed room. He was about to lock it when he realized the lock wasn't working.
"Ian? Ian, get your fucking ass here!" He bellowed, when Ian appeared with sizzling frying pan in one hand and spatula in another, Kai hissed, "Don't get anywhere near my cat!"
The young boy saluted with spatula, "Yes, Kai! What's wrong?"
"What's happening with my lock? It's not working." Kai gestured to the lock with his head, using his hand to usher his cat away from Ian. Who knows what could the imp do to his cat with sizzling pan AND wooden spatula.
Ian inspected the lock, grabbing the pan and spatula in one hand. He said 'A-Ha!' and brightly looked up at Kai, looking like he had found what was wrong. Kai, however, knew better.
Before Ian could speak, he cut him off, "I know, call Spencer." Once again, Ian saluted him with spatula and went off to find Spencer.
Kai pinched the bridge of his nose, he could feel headache coming, especially with the bloody noises still hadn't died down. It seemed like they were going for another round, at least that's what his ears picked up from the vulgar conversation.
"Kai, Spencer said he will come and check on your lock after he's done with the gar-OUCH!" Ian, had somehow magically tripped over nothing, repeat, over fucking nothing. Kai watched in horror as two objects that he had been holding on flew out of his hands. The frying pan landed on the floor with loud clang, splattering the content, what Kai could only described as egg whites, on the floor. The spatula, however, flew even further, in slow motion, it landed on Kai's head with audible thunk before bouncing off to the floor.
Ian, who had somehow magically tripped over nothing, had somehow magically standing on his feet. He quickly clamped his mouth with his hand but Kai saw and heard the laugh coming from him.
"Ian."
"Umm, Yes, Kai?"
"Out."
"But, Kai-"
"I said Out. Don't you hear me, Ian, Out."
"Ka-"
"Do I need to spell it, Ian? Out, O-U-T. Do I need to tell you what it means Ian? Out means; away from the inside, away from the center or middle, away from a usual place, and went to play. Do you know which one I'm intending here, Ian? Obviously you don't so I will gladly tell you, you can do anything, I don't even care, not I give a damn fuck about it, but get out, Ian. I said, get the fucking out of my fucking apartment."
"K-"
"Get out."
Ian had only took one step back when Kai called him, "Oh, no, Ian. I do believe you have to clean this mess you had made before you get out." Kai gave the spatula back to Ian before closing his bedroom door softly, so soft it didn't make a sound at all.
He heard his cat meowed from his bed. Kai smiled at the animal and sit down beside him, stroking the fur affectionately. His cat had always done its magic on him, somehow no matter how stressed out he was, Kai managed to relaxed once he saw his cat. Today was no different with the other days. He spent good five minutes indulging the cat before letting it sleep and he return to his reading.
The peace, however, didn't last long. He had only read three paragraphs when Spencer came crashing through his door, making Kai and his cat jumped in the process. The blond was holding a big black pot on his hand, he looked at Kai with look akin to horror, something he only see on Spencer's face when...
"Oh no, don't tell me-"
"IT DIED! MY PLAN DIED!" Spencer hollored, shoving the big pot with pathetically wilting plan in it to Kai's face.
Kai immediately cringed, Spencer was usually the adult of the team, he could probably say Spencer was the only sane member. He rarely stressed Kai out like the other three but when he did, he could be even worse than them. "Yeah, Spencer, I can see it just fine. You don't have to shove it to my-FACE!"
The slate haired boy yelped and pulled his head back when Spencer shoved the ridiculously big pot closer to his face, "NO, YOU DON'T SEE IT FINE, IT DIED! IT DIED, KAI! MY PLAN HAD JUST DIED! I HAD TAKEN CARE OF IT LIKE IT'S MY OWN FLESH AND BLOOD BUT IT DIED!"
"FUCK, SPENCER, I CAN SEE IT JUST FUCKING FINE!" Kai growled, still scooting back as Spencer keep shoving the pot dangerously closer to him.
"HOW DARE IT DIED UPON ME, KAI? HOW DARE IT?"
Kai was almost lying down flat on his back when he screamed back, "HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW, SPENCER? IT'S YOUR OWN FLESH AND BLOOD, YOU'RE THE ONE TO KNOW!"
Spencer stopped shoving the pot into Kai's face. He blinked once, twice, thrice, and then he pulled it away, staring at the plant with so much emotion on his face, "I guess you're right, Kai. I should have known about them better than anyone, but i…" Spencer trembled and he began to weep.
Kai rolled his eyes, Spencer had always been emotional when it came to his plan. The bluenette sat back properly, maintaining a good and safe distance from Spencer. Who knew if he decided to go all emo again on him. "Listen, Spencer, I'm sorry for your loss. Now, don't you think you have to bury it properly?"
The blond sniffed, wiping his nose with his muscular arm before standing up, "Yes, it needed a proper funeral. Thank you, Kai." Then without much word, Spencer was out of the room.
Kai closed the door again, not as soft as before. He heard Bryan's moan somewhere from outside and ignored it. He also remember he forgot to tell Spencer to check on his lock but he guessed he could do it later. Right now all he wanted was to return to his book.
An hour later and Kai was thankful for the peace more than anything. He felt thirsty so he decided to get himself a drink. To get a drink, Kai must left the sanctuary of his room, he must left the sanctuary of his sound proof room to the world outside where sounds could be heard clearly. Sounds like Tala's moan for example.
"FUCK, FUCK, FUCK! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO DOING ON MY COUCH?" Kai screamed in horror at the scene in front of him.
Tala and Bryan had left their room as well and were kissing each other sensless on Kai's couch. The couch that had claimed as Kai and no one were allowed to sit on it except for him, let alone making out on it.
"Oh, oh, oh, Bryan, wait a minute! Here's Kai!" Tala said between his moans. Kai could only see his head since the rest of his body was blocked by Bryan's thankfully still clothed form, his hands were around Bryan's neck.
Bryan growled and looked at stunned bluenette who was still standing in the doorway. "Hey, Kai!"
Kai recovered from his shock and immediately felt blood raising to his head, "Don't' you dare Hey, Kai! me!" Kai imitated in high pitched voice, earning him a snort from Bryan. "Don't you snort on me either, you, Kuznetsov! Get off from my couch!"
"But, Kai, " Bryan whined as he began to kiss Tala again, "This couch is so damn comfortable!"
"Yes, Kai, " Tala followed, "I'm sure you know how comfortable this couch is, we're just borrowing it for a minute."
"Get off! I said, get your fucking ass off my fucking couch!" Kai could very much let them have the couch forever, he would never be able to sit on it without the image of his friends making out like bunnies.
Once again, the couple ignored him. Kai felt his every being twitched as he took the magazines and began throwing them at his friends with perfect aim, "I SAID, ..COUCH!"
Bryan and Tala yelped, they immediately jumped off the couch, running back to their room and shutting it with audible click. Kai threw one last magazine at the door, satisfied that he had cornered the evil back to its nest. The satisfaction, however, didn't last long when he looked at his couch. He made a mental note to ask for new exact copy of the couch. It'd look the same but at least it'd be different from the one that Tala and Bryan had made out on. After getting himself a drink, Kai returned back to his room to read and never leave it again.
At least he intended to because shortly after he entered, the phone ring. Cursing, Kai picked up the phone, "Hello?"
There was no answer, Kai frowned. After a while, he decided to end it.
He had only done as much as touching his book when it rang again. Annoyed, Kai picked it up, "Hello?"
There was no answer again like the last time but Kai waited much longer until deciding no one was going to give him an answer.
Just when he put the phone down, it ring again. "Just who the hell is this?" He snapped.
Unlike last time, there was an answer, but the answer came rather as a giggle than an answer. "Umm, is this Kai-chan?"
Kai twitched at the name, "No, this is not Kai-chan and who the hell are you? I'm asking first."
The voice giggled again, making Kai shivered in disgust, "I know this is you, Kai-chan, how could I do not? You're the love of my life after all, and I am the love of your life…"
He didn't think twice before ending the call and threw the phone away. Much for his horror, it rang again. This time, Kai took the battery out and locked it inside his cabinet.
Kai swore under his breathe, for an unknown reason, he couldn't get the peace he longed for today. He would probably run into another problem if he stayed awake, he could very well sleep until the end of the day if it meant keeping him away from trouble.
Kai then tuck himself under the bed sheet, snuggling to his pillow for better comfort. His cat meowed lazily beside him, Kai cracked an eye open and stroke it gently until it fell asleep. "Good night, " he murmured to the cat.
Not even thirty seconds had passed when the door of his bedroom burst open loudly that Kai swore it could get off of the hinges. He was about to give whoever it was that disturbed his well-deserved peace a piece of his mind but stopped short at the scene in front of him.
Tala, Bryan, Spencer, and Ian was standing close together with big, stupid, stupid, annoying, stupid grins on their faces. Tala and Bryan who were standing at the center, were holding a big plate of cake with lit up candles. Four of them shared a look before singing together in slightly off key tune, "Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you!"
Kai speechlessly watched as they finished singing and clapping on their own. Tala and Bryan then offered the cake to him with big identical grin, "Well, Kai, shoot! Make a wish and blow the candle off!" When Kai didn't do anything, they looked at each other with raised brows, "I'm sure you know how to do it, Kai. Do you want us to demonstrate?"
The bluenette wasn't responding at all. This made four of them kind of worried. "Umm, Kai?" Ian called.
After what seemed to be forever, Kai finally said something, "What cake is this?"
"Sicilian! Each bite into this cake reveals a perfect mix of dark chocolate mousse and pistachio crème brulee. Complete with pistachio praline paste foulentine sponge at the bottom!" Bryan exclaimed proudly, shoving the cake a little closer to Kai's face. "Now make a wish and blow the candle off so we can eat this!"
Kai arched one elegant brow, behind him, his cat stirred awake. "My birthday? It is my birthday today?"
"Silly git, Of course it is! In case you hadn't noticed, I had marked in with red marker on the calendar, check it outside if you want." Tala said, his hands were starting to ache for holding the cake for too long. Kai seriously had to blow the candle so they could put it down and eat the cake together, "Hurry up, will you, Kai? Make a sweet lil' wish and blow it off."
Instead of doing the customary, Kai regarded the cake with contemplating eyes, "This cake is not poisoned, right?"
"No, it is not. If it was, I wouldn't want to eat it but in case you didn't notice, I really want to eat it so hurry and make your silly wish," Bryan answered, his hands also started aching.
"So you guys were annoying the living shit out of me since the morning just for this, hmm?" he asked again.
"Yes, sorry, Kai. But it's Tala and Bryan's plan, really! I wouldn't want to be thrown out of the house and Spencer didn't want to kill his plan either, so if you wanted to blame anyone, it's them!" Ian replied while pointing at Tala and Bryan.
The two glowered at him for ratting them out, Spencer merely shrugged but Kai could see the sadness on his face. "It doesn't matter isn't it? What important is we managed to surprise you and get you a birthday cake! Now hush hush, make a wish!" Tala encouraged, shoving a cake again.
Kai looked at each one of them, then he looked at his cat, then at the cake, then back at them. Kai took the cake from Bryan and Tala's hands, relieving them from their burden, and put it on the bedside table. He then looked at them before getting up and walked out the room. Four pair of eyes looked at each other confusedly but they followed Kai nonetheless, curious at the bluenette's act.
The found Kai standing by the door that led outside, he was opening the door expectantly with a smile on his face.
"Out." He said.
"Kai?" Tala asked confusedly.
"Out." Kai repeated.
"What do yo-" Bryan was cut off by Kai, who was still smiling and repeating his order.
"I said, Out."
"Kai, listen," Spencer tried to say but again, was cut off.
"Don't you hear me the first time? I said, Out."
"Ka-"
"I think I've told you what out means. It seems like you didn't get it the first time, right? Do you want me to repeat what out means, oh my beloved friends who had surprised me on my birthday?" Kai paused, if possible, his smile was getting even more gentle, "Or rather, my friends who had almost killed my cat twice, jumped on me, and made out on my couch?"
The four Russian squirmed. Kai was scary when he was angry, really angry, not because he was so worked up and bothered about it but because he was looking so calm and serenely happy.
"So, my dear friends, out you go."
There was no further argument as the four boys dejectedly walked out the apartment. Kai waved at them, smile still on place as he softly shut the door and lock it with audible click. They looked at each other before breaking into full force bickering between them.
"I told you not to piss him off too much, we're going to suffer the end of it!"
"Hey, it's your plan to piss him off, Tala! How the hell am I supposed to know that I'm overdoing it?"
"Oh god, I really want that cake! You know Kai had sweet tooth, he'd eat them all by himself!"
Spencer only shook his head, he had expected something like this to happen. Maybe it was his fault too, he should have told them the plan won't be working as well as they hoped it will be. Pissed off Kai could easily turn the table to his favor and backfired any kind of plan thrown on him, they should have learnt from experience.
"You shouldn't jump on him, Spencer! He must be traumatized for life!"
"Hey, I resent that! I do not jump on him!"
Inside his luxurious and pretty much peaceful apartment, Kai had the Sicilian cake on the dining table in front of him. His stroke the cat on his laps fondly before letting it go to its food which he had put somewhere in the kitchen, last thing he needed was his beloved cat ruining his time with the perfect cake.
Kai closed his eyes as he made a wish, it was a simple wish, really. He wished that his friends would give him more peace that he pretty much deserved. He blew the candles and clapped to himself. Without wasting his time, Kai neatly cut the cake and put it on a smaller plate. He took a bite and hummed in pleasure, the cake was perfection.
If dealing with crazed and insane friends could get him this delicious cake every day, maybe Kai wouldn't mind dealing with them.
Or maybe not, he thought, after all, he wasn't really fond of being jumped on by Spencer.